S03,E04: Carolyn Sykes (50) from London

Kings Place, London. The large, modern home of The Guardian newspaper – arguably the UK’s most balanced news publication. We’re not going inside, our next subject has asked to meet us just along York Way at Pret-A-Manger for a vegetarian wrap (or two) and an organic coffee.

She’s a curvy, middle-aged woman with long wavy dark hair flowing down over her shoulders. You might call her fat, but not obese. Her face is dominated by a huge smile that indicates she is completely comfortable with where she is.

She eats throughout the interview. It’s good, healthy food – but she has a lot of it. As a result, even though she’s quite well spoken, she’s often talking around food. Her opening line is delivered food free.

“My name is Carolyn Sykes, I’m 50 years old, and I’m a journalist from London.”

Back to her eating and responding to a question.

“It sounds like a story, but it’s not, this is the truth ... My editor wanted someone to do a story about your show, a female angle on it, and no-one else was keen, so I put my hand up for it ... I watched the show like everyone else, I thought it was strangely sexy, but I didn’t really think about it. THEN I started working on the article.” She takes a swig of coffee.

“I re-watched all of the shows, and I tracked down a few of the women you had featured and interviewed them. The more people I talked to, the more I re-watched the show, the more I found that the women who were having sex with these dogs were really having fulfilling experiences. It wasn’t just the physical fun of having some good sex – it was that they were genuinely happy about what they were doing. Even with the repercussions of it being on tv – losing their jobs, ending relationships, becoming estranged from families ... They were happy about it.” Another bite of her vegetarian wrap. Quick chew, and she’s talking again, whilst still chewing.

“The more I investigated ... The more I found myself thinking that I should do it ... So I could speak from experience ... Not just the experience of having sex with a dog ... But of doing it out in the open on a television show ... So I contacted you.” She swallows the mouthful. “ ... And here we are...”

So having sex with a dog doesn’t actually turn you on?

“Oh it does now ... More and more every day. If you’d asked me a month ago I would have said no, but now – it’s the only thing I think about. I want to do it for my article, but I need to do it for my sanity. I don’t know if I’ll like it, but if I don’t at least try it, once, I’ll never have it out of my system.”

And if you do?

“Like it? Well, I haven’t got a man in my life ... Maybe it’s time to consider other options...” She smiles.

We pay the bill and exit, agreeing to meet up at Carolyn’s inner city flat later that day.

Carolyn’s home is small but classy. A compromise apartment – you get the good location and the modern fittings, but you surrender space. Her living room is a two seater couch, a coffee table and a flatscreen tv. Her dining room a four seater table with two chairs. Her kitchen little more than a strip of utilities along one windowless wall.

Carolyn stands between the couch and the coffee table, with the apartment’s best feature, a large single sheet of glass with views out toward other tower blocks opposite. She removes her coat and drapes it over the back of the couch. Then her summer dress, unzipped down the side and stripped off to reveal her ‘larger than life’ body and huge tits spilling over her large white bra.

She stands in her straining white bra and panties, looking nervous and unsure of her next move. “Is it time to meet the star yet?” She asks. “I have so many ‘questions’ for him?” We like that she understands the dog is the real star – but at the same time we don’t want her to diminish her own role in the upcoming shoot.

Your CO-star will be here very soon.

Cut to: Carolyn sitting in her bra and panties, glasses on, notepad and pen in hand. She claims she wants to write a serious article, but we suspect she’s having a little role-play fantasy time.

What questions to you need to answer for your article?

She scribbles notes for herself as she thinks and talks. “How does a dog cock feel ... How does it taste ... Are dog’s considerate? Is the whole thing pleasurable, or will it feel disgusting? Is it a physical experience or more abstract and intangible...? A process of thought – not, ‘this dog cock FEELS so good in me’, more ‘it feels so good to know this is a DOG cock inside me’. That sort of thing.”

We understand. We think we have just the dog to help...

Close up of a big, heavy sheath under a dog’s belly. Close up of a big pair of dog’s balls, hanging heavy between a dog’s strong hind legs. Close up of big dog’s paws scrabbling on the corridor floor outside Carolyn’s apartment. Close up of a huge dog’s head, mouth open, tongue out, drool and slobber on the jowls. Close up of a huge, fully erect, purple cock with little blue and red blood vessels criss-crossing its surface – a clip from later in the show. Pull back to a wide shot of the whole dog – the biggest of them all ... No words are required to introduce ... Dino!

We cut to the elevator doors in the hallway outside Carolyn’s apartment. They slide open to reveal Dino the Great Dane, and his owner, the curly mullet wearer, Bernard. They walk along toward Carolyn’s apartment door. As they walk, Bernard talks. He tries his best, but his delivery is terrible, putting emphasis on the wrong words – but no one cares, they’re only watching to see Dino in action.

“Hello, I’m Bernard and this is Dino. I’m Dino’s owner, driver, and PIMP ... And women PAY me so that they can have SEX with him.” He smiles, then turns to walk into the shop, patting his thigh firmly to bring Dino to heel. The huge dog dances alongside him as they head through the parking garage toward an elevator. “SOMETIMES, if they treat Dino really nice, they don’t even have to pay!”

They arrive at Carolyn’s door, which opens up to allow them immediate access.

Inside, we capture Carolyn’s wide eyed, open-mouthed reaction to the monster’s arrival. “Oh my...” She gasps.

Then she’s back on the couch, sitting with the dog at her feet, leaning against the outside of her leg, looking over his shoulder at her as she rubs the side of his neck. Her notepad and pen are forgotten, she’s still trying to talk to us, but the dog is a huge distraction – literally.

What do you think?

She looks from us to the dog, then back to us. Picking her words. “Would it be incriminating if I admitted that I was hoping it would be him?” She asks. “I’m a big girl – I was worried that I might get little Randall!” She leans forward to wrap her arms around Dino’s huge head, her massive boobs squashing up against him. “I’m so glad it’s this big boy.”

Do you want to get started?

Carolyn breaths heavy and nods, “No time like the present!” She looks up at someone off camera, it was Bernard, taking his directions (which we can’t hear), then slips off the couch so that she’s kneeling on the floor next to Dino.

As soon as her knees hit the floor Dino knows what is happening and his body language changes – no longer relaxed, now tensing up, half standing then sitting again, waiting for his orders. Carolyn wraps a big arm over her back and reaches under his belly, searching for his huge sheath. Finding it. Fondling it. Her other hand on the beast’s face, gently trying to turn him to face her. Trying to make eye contact. “Is this nice?” She whispers to him, “Do you like this?”

Then she speeds up her fondling, finding something hard within and gripping it, giving it a little wank ... Sighing as it appears to react. Continuing the dog whisperer act. “Is that good? You like it when I wank you? Good boy ... I bet you do...”

She keeps wanking him, in little speedy bursts, changing the position of her hand, her grip, as he gorws – until there’s a decent slab of cock-meat showing. Red and inviting. She touches this, running her finger along the shaft gently ... Then looks up at Bernard again.

“I think he’s ready to give you a good seeing to...” Chuckles Bernard. “If you just kneel down on that couch he’ll be able to mount you no problem...”

“Is that right?” She whispers to the dog, right in his ear, “Are you ready to show me what sex with a dog is really all about?” She’s as ready as he is. Keen to get started. You might even say she’s excited.

She gets to her feet, and Dino immediately stands and starts pushing against her, whining a little. His head is up at crotch height and he appears keen to get at it.