Chapter 14

Amara stared at the inside of her wing. The bony frame, the deep red skin that stretched between it, the way it twitched when she repositioned. It was pitch black under her covers, but ever since Halloween, she’d developed impeccable night vision.

Even the darkness couldn’t mask how much she’d changed.

She was lying on her side, her wing holding up the comforter she’d pulled over her head. Her phone rested next to her, as she was desperately waiting for a text. It vibrated, and she hurriedly grabbed it, then sighed with disappointment after seeing who it was from. Looking through her messages, she counted 57 unread texts from Nick, 21 from Tessa, and 6 from Chloé.

None from Vee.

How many times had she texted her? Dozens, easily, and she had no idea if they were even being received. She wouldn’t blame Vee for blocking her, not after what happened, after she’d almost—

Shut up Amara, you didn’t, doesn’t that matter?

She threw her phone down again, burying her face in her hands and pulling her knees closer.

But I almost did. I can still feel her blood.

She looked at her hands, running her fingers over them. Her skin was smooth, warm to the touch, and completely unblemished from the fight. She had no idea what had happened to them, what they’d turned into that night. She’d only ever used her shapeshifting to turn into other people, but could she alter her own body? What other explanation was there?

Her curiosity urged her to try, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She doubted she could shapeshift anyways, she’d just passed a week without sex. Food had long ago lost its flavor, and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept for more than an hour or two.

11 AM

She reluctantly left bed to use the bathroom.

12 PM

Unread messages from Nick jumped from 57 to 59.

Grabbing her phone, she opened her most recent tab. The local newspaper’s website stared back at her, and she read the article in its entirety, despite having the whole thing memorized.

STUDENT INJURED IN HALLOWEEN FIRE

A local Halloween celebration ended in disaster last night when the site of the party unexpectedly caught fire. Although most students were evacuated safely, one student was injured in the blaze.

Emergency services were dispatched at approximately 12:30 AM, having been automatically notified when the building’s fire alarm activated.

The residence in question, commonly referred to by local students as The Jade Palace, had long ago been converted into a Chapter House for a local fraternity. As part of the renovation, a full fire suppression system was installed.

Authorities are still uncertain as to the cause of the fire. While students on scene confirmed that the sprinklers were activated, the fire was able to consume the building despite this countermeasure.

Foul play is not suspected at this time, although the investigation is ongoing.

What if I turned myself in?

No, they’d want to know how I did it. It’s not like I can tell them I’m a demon, and I don’t actually know how to start fires.

I’ll bet arsonists can burn down buildings without beating their friends half to death.

Amara flinched as she recalled her last moments with Vee, seeing her friend utterly convinced she was about to die. The image had been seared into her brain, haunting her every time she closed her eyes.

She wanted to cry, but had run out of tears days ago. Her body wretched and shook as it attempted anyways.

The hours kept passing, and the most exciting thing Amara did was turn to her other side. Even that took quite a while, given the size of her wings. Her phone went off a few more times, texts from Nick and Tessa, but she continued ignoring them. It was almost 4 when she heard a knock at her bedroom door.

“Amara?” Nick asked, “I know you’re in there.”

“Go away!”

“Not this time, Amara. When’s the last time you left the house? Ate something?” He paused for a moment, than awkwardly mumbled, “Had sex?”

“Is that why you’re here? Need a slut to get your rocks off?” Amara hissed.

“C’mon, that’s not fair. We both know that if you’re not having sex, your body shuts down. I just want to help.”

“Maybe you should help yourself, and leave me alone!” Amara threw the comforter off, shouting at Nick through the door. “How do you know I won’t snap? That I won’t go berserk and you wind up dead?”

A different voice spoke up, and Amara realized that Nick had brought Tessa with him. “Vee attacked you, what choice did you have? You were defending yourself!”

“You know why she attacked me, Tessa? Because I lied to her! Because you told me to! Still think that was the right call?”

“Of course I do! The instant she found out, she ambushed you and tried to cast you into hell! What did I say about those church idiots? To them, you’re just a monster, that’s all you’ll ever be. You really think a literal fuckin’ angel is going to give you a pass because you used to do each other’s makeup?”

Amara pulled the covers over her head again, burying her face in the pillow without saying anything. Another few seconds passed before Tessa spoke again.

“Amara? Great, real mature, just ignore us, I’m sure that’ll fix everything.”

“C’mon Tess, don’t make this worse.”

“She’s the one ignoring me!”

The two continued bickering for a while, but Amara tuned them out. She screamed into her pillow again, and eventually heard them leave. After a few minutes, someone walked back inside, and a quiet voice traveled through the door.

“Um, Amara?” Chloé asked, her voice barely audible.

“Oh, Chloé, I ... didn’t know you were here too.” Amara crawled out from the under the covers, moving closer to her bedroom door. She readjusted her zip-up hoodie, which mostly rested on her hips since her wings prevented her from wearing it properly. “Did you ... hear any of that?”

“No, I was waiting outside. How are you feeling?”

Amara paused, unsure what to say. “What did they tell you?”

“Well, they said you and Vee were talking at the party, and didn’t get out in time when the fire started, and she got hurt.”

“That’s ... yeah that’s about right.” Amara sat down, leaning against the wall near the door. “Here to tell me it’s not my fault?”

Chloé paused for a moment. “I’m not a therapist, I don’t think ... that’s not why I’m here. I just ... I missed you, is all. I miss eating lunch with you, talking about our projects, telling you about what I’m playing. You’re great company, and we both know I can’t say the same about Tessa.”

“ ... Nick’s still around.”

“He’s a boy! It’s not the same!”

Surprisingly, Amara had to stifle a laugh. “Alright, well, how’s your charity thing going?”

“We’re gonna launch it this week!”

“Shit, really? Chloé, that’s great!”

“Well, the whole point is to make fundraising easier and more transparent, and now we’ve got the perfect excuse to launch. We’re gonna raise money for the fire relief!”

Amara froze, a response escaping her. Another minute passed in silence before Chloé spoke up again.

“I know you’re in a rough spot, but I was kinda hoping you would help?

“Oh, I don’t ... I’m not much of a charity person.”

The exact opposite, in fact.

“Well, you said before we could maybe work together, that you could help with the social media side of things? Plus, I know you’re really into photography, and we could really use some high quality pictures for our campaign.”

Chloé remembers that? I feel like that was ages ago ... though, her life hasn’t been as hectic as mine has recently.

Amara glanced over at her closet, remembering that her photography stuff was packed away in a corner. It had been one of her first passions, and was the reason she decided to get into marketing in the first place. She had figured the two skills would pair really well, give her a lot to offer when searching for a job. In the chaos surrounding her transformation, she’d completely forgotten about it.

“Gimme a sec?” Amara asked. She heard a muffled response from the other side of the door, and got up.

Digging through her closet, she pulled out her camera bag. She looked through all her different lenses, carefully laying them out one by one, smiling at the memories. When she finally took hold of her camera, she remembered how good it felt in her hands. She turned it on, and began flicking through the old pictures stored on her memory card.

She found pictures of Nick, mostly headshots she’d taken so he could have something to put on resumes. There were a few of Tessa, sometimes with her partners, sometimes flicking her off when she realized Amara was taking pictures.

There was even a picture Amara definitely didn’t take, that appeared to be Tessa winking at the camera while angling it up her skirt.

She found shots of Chloé out in the quad, leaning up against a tree while sketching in her notebook. She looked amazing in the first couple, but after seeing the camera, she’d hidden behind her book.

She stopped when she found her first picture of Vee. It was a simple profile, her face slightly illuminated by the sunlight bouncing off a building behind her.

Vee had always been the most supportive of her photography. Unlike the others, she was eager to pose, and Amara had plenty of pictures of Vee smiling, but also of her goofing off. Scrolling through the pictures, she remembered the day she took them, smiling at the memories.

Eventually, Vee had insisted that they switch, that Amara be the subject for once. The next batch of pictures had been taken by Vee, with Amara struggling to find good angles for herself. She’d always been more comfortable behind the camera, but Vee had walked her through some tricks, and she’d ended up enjoying herself. The shots Vee had taken that day were still some of her favorite pictures of herself.

The last picture was the two of them laughing. It was horribly off-center, blurry, and angled heavily to the right, but that was Vee’s fault for trying to take a selfie with something other than a phone. It was, without question, the worst picture on the camera, and yet it was so evocative.

Amara couldn’t look away. As she stared at the picture, her mind warped the image. Vee’s face grew sharper, the blur fading, only to be replaced with blood. The soft, warm light grew more intense, flickering as flames surrounded them, threatening to collapse the building on them both. Tears fell from her face, which was begging Amara not to continue, yet utterly convinced that she would. Her clawed hands soaked in blood, tightening slowly until—

I DIDN’T DO IT! I STOPPED MYSELF!

“Amara?” Chloé asked, her voice tense.

There were fresh tears on her face, apparently. Had Chloé heard her crying? She looked down at her camera, no longer in her hands, but thankfully it was safely on the floor.

She took a deep breath, her body still shaking slightly.

Photos. Human Amara loved that, she was great at it.

“I-I’m still here.” Amara said, crawling closer to the door. She wiped her eyes, brushing away the tears as she thought about Chloé’s question.

“I’ll do it.” She finally whispered.

“Yay! I’d hug you if I could!” Chloé said, ecstatic.

“I appreciate the thought, though...” Amara looked back at her tail and her wings, “I’m not really decent at the moment. Tell you what, I’ll join you for dinner tonight, and we’ll talk everything over.”

“That’s awesome! I’ll put together all our fundraising material and we can look through it!”

“Oh, and Chloé?” Amara asked, “Can you send Nick in on your way out? I need his help with something.”