Chapter 4

Pedro, Justin and Andrew survived their night out in London. Survived is the right word as there were a couple of fights at the club. They were across on the other side of the room both times and Andrew had no idea what caused them but it got out of hand quickly. The second time at least one person was cut, they could see him trying to staunch the blood. But as people pushed away from them, backed into the rest of the crowd a lot of people stumbled, several were knocked over. It was the unexpected sway that caught people off guard. Pedro got bumped in the back pretty hard as part of it but their only damage was Justin’s beer stained trousers for the rest of the night. But as quickly as it started it was over and 10 minutes later the band were on stage and everyone forgot about it. But his attack in Edinburgh, the nights’ out in Brighton and the bar in Courcheval all sprang to Andrew’s mind. There was a level of violence lurking below the surface. He had even seen it in Mayfair with the aggressive drunk at the pub at the end of the street. Ignoring him was not an option. It was classic fight or flight. And he saw how drink made the violence more likely. He didn’t know what it meant but he was always aware of it on his nights out.

The following week was going to be busy as Andrew had his presentation on his project and then the second careers night. On both Saturday morning before they went down to London and again on Sunday morning he slowly swam back and forth at the pool. He had lots of options for a career but suddenly the sand was running out and he was faced with making some choices.

With computer science Andrew had the degree, lots of experience, even if it was several years ago, and perhaps most importantly, could see the impact computers were going to have on the world. He was not afraid of them and had more skills than most. He also had one of his best friends with whom he owned one, and soon to be two, computer companies. He could maintain his interest, maintain his proficiency in programing through Julian and the businesses. In fact it could be an evening activity once he started working, just as it was when he was at school. Andrew had a structure in place, more by luck than judgement, where he could use his degree both for intellectual stimulation and to assist with a business. Andrew’s history and loyalty to Julian had kept him from coming to this conclusion sooner. The thoughts had been swirling in his head for a while but it was time to start striking things off the list, not adding to it. Regardless of what happened with AIMS, or child of AIMS, Andrew would not be working full time on computing when he graduated. Just getting to that point, thinking it, saying it out loud, was important. And most importantly for him, and the way he thought, it did not feel wrong. There was no discordance within him. He was at peace with that decision.

Engineering was way more complicated and a lot more personal. It came back to who he was at his core as a person. Andrew’s defining characteristic was that he was a nerd. He was intelligent and liked to study. It defined him all through school. And in some bizarre way it was also just his. His life had been turned upside down by Faith and Leslie, it had been immeasurably better because of the goals that he set with them way back in January 1979. But his intelligence predated meeting them, predated even getting cancer. They provided the tough love to make him more disciplined and the death of Faith maintained that discipline until it became second nature. His teenage years shaped Andrew in so many ways but his formative years were all pre-cancer. The problems with his family, his parents, especially his father, they were all evident long before the summer of 1978. But as an awkward, un-athletic and socially lacking child the thing that he could cling onto more than anything else was that he was smart. School was easy, he had been coasting for years and was in the top quarter of the class with minimal effort. Fast forward 10 years and those traits were all still in him. Sure he was a different person, a more well-rounded person, but what still defined him more than anything else was his intelligence. Now Andrew didn’t lord it over other people, brag from the rooftops and his time tutoring Suzanne, Paula and Moira had let him understand how smart people could still struggle at certain subjects. Just as he struggled at athletics, so other people struggled with academics. What Andrew did not do, unlike most jocks, was brag about it.

With six months to go at Cambridge he was still the nerdy intelligent kid who wanted to use his intelligence to stand out. Everything he had achieved was based on this fact. It was his brains that had brought him to this point. What Andrew had to figure out now was where was he going next, and was the same need to stand out through intelligence still important? Ove Arup seemed to be the obvious place, assuming that he convinced them to hire him. His life had been a distillation, a concentrating of ability from an early age. He was first academically streamed at age 10 and it happened again at age 12. The next six years were demonstrating that he was good at maths and science to the extent that he was able to get a place there at Cambridge. And now after more than three years he had demonstrated again, against much tougher competition, that he was still one of the brightest people. The natural progression was to go to a prestigious engineering firm, and they did not get any more prestigious than Ove Arup.

So why was Andrew unsure this was the right thing for him? Engineers build society, the world around them from the water and sewage in and out of a home to the tallest skyscraper or the longest bridge, they were all the result of engineers. He wanted to make a difference, he had said it so many times that even he was bored of the phrase, but something about going to work for a large engineering firm did not resonate with Andrew. After he finished swimming that Sunday he must have walked miles thinking about the choice he was going to make. He had the chance to come top in his class in Civil and Structural Engineering at Cambridge University and not go to work for an engineering firm? If he did that then he was left with two choices, working for the government or working for himself. The second one appealed to Andrew more, and he was sure some of his reticence to work for a large firm was the alternative of being his own boss. But the two choices left were pretty different.

When Andrew had talked to Ara about his dreams, in amongst the long ramble he had told her the goal of his life was to Be Passionate. At the moment nothing seemed to be generating that passion. Was working in the secret world going to generate that passion? If he kept this up all weekend he would have ruled all his options out and then where would he be? By Sunday night Andrew had convinced himself that he was down to the two options.

It tended to be the weekends during that term that caused the chaos, not the weekdays. So it was on the final week of term. The presentations had started the previous week and they were encouraged to attend a few of them. He was not that interested in what other people were doing but did go to two or three in addition to Olivia’s to show face and not get anyone in the department mad at him. Olivia’s presentation went well, which was hardly a surprise, and from watching the professors in the room he could tell that they were impressed. He told her this afterwards.

“You thought so too? Good. That was my reading of the room but it is nice to have someone confirm it. Are you ready for tomorrow afternoon?”

“Yes, I will be fine. Upshaw and Cannon are happy, I swear I saw Upshaw smile last week, so I know I am okay. My big issue is to make sure that it all comes together and that there are not a ton of loose ends.”

“I got told the same thing. Set tight parameters and do it well, rather than some wide-ranging project that seems half-finished in May.”

In amongst all this Andrew also completed the coursework for two of the eight modules. Two of his four modules that term did not have a final exam which was great but it was two more things to deal with in that chaotic November. His presentation went very well. He had pretty well the same group of faculty in the audience although he did have to deal with more pointed questions than Olivia. But he survived the questions, several of which were skeptical of what he was trying to prove. The final course work was handed in on his Architectural Engineering and Computational Fluid Dynamics courses and so Olivia and Andrew were sitting in Hall on the last Friday of term just relaxing, glad to have gotten through the term.

“I can’t believe that you didn’t show up to the careers event.”

“I spent most of last weekend thinking about it. It may be very rash but I am okay with how I am approaching it. If I have made a mistake then I can still apply next year.”

“I know that but it still seems rash. So you are definitely going to set up your own firm?”

“That is one of my final two options. I don’t know for sure yet.”

“What is the other one?”

Andrew knew this moment was coming, and he wanted to at least be partially honest with her.

“Working for the government.”

“Like you did in the summer? At your Defence Ministry?”

“Potentially there, or other areas.”

Olivia opened her mouth to say something but then looked at him and stopped.

“Really?”

He nodded. She thought for nearly half a minute.

“So why did you do an engineering degree? And do so well at it that your friend is always stuck behind you.”

Her impish smile faded as he smirked at her.

“Shit, don’t say it. Bloody man.”

Andrew never said a word and still got whacked. He was laughing now and Olivia ruefully laughed and shook her head.

“We should have these conversations in French. I am always at a disadvantage.”

With a final whack for good measure she brought the subject back on track.

“When are you going to know? Is your own firm a fall back?”

“I have no idea. My own firm is probably a slight favourite actually. So no, it is definitely not a fall-back position.”

“What should I do?”

“Whatever you think is best for you. All the interviews seem to be getting scheduled for February. So I would go through any interviews and then wait to decide on the offers. In my mind I am going to have to make up my mind by mid-May, at the latest. I would imagine people will want to know sooner. But I am going to ignore all the noise from March 1^st until after the exams. Once I am finished then I will make a final choice. It is probably being naïve and unrealistic but May 1^st, May 5^th, whenever our exams are finished, that is when I want to think about all this stuff.”

“They are going to want answers before then Andrew.”

He sighed.

“You are right Olivia, I think I just want to keep my options open as long as possible.”

Their discussion was interrupted by Dr. Wakefield asking to join them. Andrew had seen him briefly at the start of term but they had little in the way of day to day contact. Andrew would nod hi if he passed him at Hall but Andrew was not someone that was constantly at his Tutor’s door.

“Sorry to interrupt, this will only take a minute.”

“Hello Dr. Wakefield, this is Olivia Dupree. She is on my course and is at Newnham. Olivia, my Tutor Dr. Wakefield.”

“Please to meet you Ms. Dupree. Like I said I am sorry to interrupt your end of term dinner. I would like to see you tomorrow morning, my office at 10.00 please Andrew.”

This seemed more of a command than a request.

“Is there a problem sir? I don’t even play hockey anymore.”

Wakefield smiled.

“No there is not a problem. I just need a few minutes of your time.”

He really didn’t have a choice.

“I will see you at 10.00 tomorrow morning then.”

“Excellent.”

Wakefield said his goodbyes and was off.

“What was that all about?”

“I have no idea. I never speak to him. Maybe he needs to have a meeting to meet his quota or something.”

Catherine came and joined them for dinner and Andrew promptly forgot about the meeting. After dinner the three of them walked back down to Newnham, using the excuse of escorting Olivia back to her College as a chance to stretch their legs. He would see her in the library the next day.