Chapter 13

His Grandma never drank before lunch and so Andrew got sober happy Grandma when he turned up. He escorted her down the stairs and along the two blocks to the local stores, letting her stock up on heavier and bulkier items, letting her use him as a pack mule as she had on so many other days. He listened as she chatted away.

“Margaret Graves asked me to pass on her best wishes. I think she enjoyed the trip to Cambridge even more than I did. There is a retired teachers lunch at Heriot’s and she was able to tell some of your former teachers about the ceremony, and how you had arranged for the two of us to attend. She told me to pass on greetings from, now what was his name, Durrant?”

“Mr. Durrand?”

“That’s him. Your old maths teacher? He was asking after you, she mentioned a couple of others, although I can’t remember their names.”

“I remember thinking at the start of 2^nd year as I looked around the Chapel that you would love the whole occasion. That you struck up a friendship with Mrs. Graves was the key to unlocking the whole thing. I am glad that two of you enjoyed it. Are you still mentioning it to all your friends at church?”

There was such an arch look on his Grandma’s face.

“What do you think? Would I, a sweet old lady, happen to mention my grandson’s achievements and generosity every week? How could you think that of me?”

They both laughed and he helped her up the stairs, laden down with the bags. They ate lunch and continued to chat, the time passed without any mention of his parents and Christmas Day. When Auntie Vi turned up Andrew left them to their sherry and the horse racing. He and Suzanne headed down to Leslie and Julian’s place to help them set up and just to spend time with their friends. For Christmas Day the two of them were going to Leslie’s Aunt and Uncle, they of the three boys, and so this was them dealing with the practicalities of keeping two families happy. They were both only children so after a large lunch with the Porters, and Brian and Mary, they would also go over to see the Strongs. Thus that night they were having both sets of parents at their house. Maggie and Tony had been invited down as well. Julian had decided that they were also having the less than traditional Chinese restaurant takeout, staying away from anything turkey related. Given the excesses of food they would be eating the next day it seemed very sensible. Andrew also discovered later that they ordered extra so that he could take some home for Christmas Day. Good friends.

The four of them sat and played cards and caught up, which mainly involved Andrew describing the two weeks of modelling. As Suzanne had said a couple of nights earlier his friends all enjoyed hearing about this life. After cards the two of them split into pairs and Julian and Andrew sat and talked about child of AIMS. The final name of Cascade was months in the future.

“All three of us had our interviews last week. They interviewed us all at the same time, in completely different locations, it was all very odd.”

“No issues?”

“None at all. Chatting about it later Leslie and I both talked about knowing Nikki and Fran but without it being as close as you are with them. They did ask the same question you told us about, would we give up their friendship to get the clearance. Given your response it was a bit of a waste of time. But it also gave them something to write down.”

Julian looked over at Andrew.

“Did they ask you the number of people you had sex with?”

He laughed.

“Yes. I had to ask for a piece of paper and a pen to write them all down, work the number out. It was embarrassing. I still forgot one as well.”

Andrew jumped back to avoid a punch.

“You had so many you had to write it down to make sure you didn’t forget any? Listen to you. I am afraid to ask the number.”

Andrew took a step back before answering

“I told them 29 but it was actually 30.”

“You fucking slut.”

He nodded sagely.

“What were you? Two? Three?”

He had to all but run from the room.

“I thought I was doing okay with nine thank you very much.”

They settled back down.

“You know about all the questions about foreign nationals. Well between modelling and university I know loads of foreigners. So I had all that to deal with as well. I was not really worried about all that stuff. Frankly they looked jealous.”

Andrew looked at Julian.

“How many did you confess to Leslie?”

Julian laughed.

“That was the funniest part. First of all we decided that the safest thing to do was just let it be, ask no questions, get told no lies. As you can imagine that situation only lasted through dinner. Put it this way, combined we are well behind you, let’s just leave it at that. How soon do you think we will find out if we get clearance?”

“I have no clue. You had the forms in quickly and they seem to have moved this along PDQ. With absolutely no knowledge to back this up, I would guess by the end of January. Let’s assume that you are going to get clearance. How are we placed for the new program?”

“I am in good shape. I did all the things we talked about. I recently bought myself a new machine, with an detachable external hard drive. The hard drive goes into a safe at night. I have an alarm on my office and the whole building has a completely separate alarm. If I get clearance then I will need to speak to Kenny and Aiden about applying for clearance. It is one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. Changing AIMS will not take very long, I am probably a third of the way there already, more than a quarter anyway. How do you think that will work?”

“You are right, we had the basic framework and all you are doing is updating it. If the whole thing moves ahead then I think you should explain where you are taking the company and see if they want to be part of that. I have no idea of their politics for example. Maybe they have no wish to be associated with anything like this. I would also tell them it is all planning at present, you are just thinking ahead. If they are okay, keen to keep going then I would get them to fill in the forms, see if they are granted clearance. Once they have clearance then they can assist you in completing the program. If new AIMS is accepted then one of Leslie’s tasks, maybe it is Mhairi, but it is one of them, is to start to find out how to hear about other opportunities. I know Leslie has some ideas regarding training that she wants to pursue. But the other part is more difficult. This came about because I recognised something, a situation that I knew AIMS would help with. I don’t know how you find out about secret processes, in areas where the information is vital, and there is no way you can just wander around and figure out that computers, or a new program would help. It isn’t going to happen. They aren’t going to let you into Cheltenham or Aldermaston or Porton Down. One of my worries is that there are groups within the MoD that are doing some of this already and Head Office just don’t know yet. I think that is going to be the challenge in growing the business, even sustaining the business.”

Julian sighed.

“Do you think it is worth it?”

“Yes. You talked about making a difference. Within weeks you will learn what I did this summer and that is but one small example. Assuming that new AIMS is used there, it could make a significant difference, as in the reports from it being used in briefings to the Prime Minister, the Cabinet.”

The parents arrived at that point and Julian and Andrew were dispatched to collect the dinner, the order having been phoned in well in advance. Andrew wondered if there would be any snarky comments about takeout but everybody seemed to think it was a great idea. Maggie and Tony had arrived while they were collecting the food.

“Julian and I have not even bought a turkey. We got a small ham from the butcher. Neither of us want to be eating turkey for three days after Christmas.”

Christine had made it clear she thought takeout was a good idea. There were no mother-in-law issues for Leslie, other than Christine wanted her knocked up and soon. No pressure then! The evening was full of Edinburgh and Scottish business talk. What was great to see was Suzanne sitting and listening to the conversation, asking questions and Andrew could see her building up her knowledge. She was part of the discussion, as was Maggie although she was quieter. Julian and Tony were through in his study talking about computers, Tony was thinking of buying a new machine. Andrew wandered through to the kitchen and was figuring out where the coffee was when Mary and Christine came through.

“I would have thought you would be in the middle of that conversation Andrew.”

“No, I stepped back in the summer and so I am already not as up to speed as the others.”

“You stepped back?”

He had presumed Christine knew.

“Yes, I am no longer a Trustee of the Endowment Trust, Suzanne replaced me. I was not able to devote sufficient time to it and truthfully it is not my passion. I helped set it up, I was one of the people with the original idea, but the hard work of running it, making a profit, deciding on all the investments, that is all Leslie and Doug, and now Suzanne.”

“You just walked away?”

“I wasn’t adding any value. Other than arguing about some of the computer company investments I went along with whatever Leslie proposed. When we changed the money from an investment to a gift, set the Fund up as an endowment, I walked away from the money. That was not a difficult decision and this was even easier.”

The two of them stood there, apparently unsure what to say.

“How are things with the two of you? It is rare that I get to chat to the two of you on your own.”

They looked at each other and smiled ruefully.

“We are trying not to pressure Leslie, and probably not doing a very good job of that.”

Andrew had no idea what to say to that and so chose silence as the best option.

“Other than that, life is full of all sorts of adventures. Your purchase of the E-type for Julian stirred his father up.”

“Brian too. Did you know that Leslie and Julian hired someone to film them at Knockhill? Both fathers got the video as a gift last Christmas. You should have seen Brian’s face. Part of the challenge is that they don’t think they can be seen to copy Julian and so every time we meet there is more discussion about what sportscars they are going to buy. They are terrified that one day you will turn up in the Ferrari and Julian in the Jaguar.”

He smiled.

“No, they should be terrified if we turned up in our cars but that Leslie also turned up in her new Italian sportscar.”

The two of them took quite a while to stop laughing.

“They are members at Murrayfield now, yes?”

Christine nodded.

“I could lend Leslie the Ferrari and they could turn up in separate cars. Julian senior would never hear the end of it. Although the degree of planning that would involve is a bit much.”

“What do you mean?”

“I have driven the Ferrari twice. Both times I was collected in Cambridge and we drove to a racetrack about an hour away. I don’t actually know where the car is kept, somewhere in North London is all I know.”

It took a few minutes to explain about how DK Engineering cared for the car.

“There are only 150 of them, they are already valuable. It has more than tripled in value since I got it, and I got it for a steal, even then. They are temperamental, take a while to warm up, will be a magnet for every policeman between here and London as well as all the drunken neds on a Friday night. Once I graduate I will have to figure out what to do with it. But it needs to be garaged.”

“Is it fast?”

“Very. And also deceptively smooth and powerful. 80 to 120 just goes by in a blink and you don’t feel like you are travelling that fast. The Ferrari’s full name is a 365 GTB/4. The GT stands for Grand Tourer, it is designed for effortless cruising. That is what I would worry about, getting caught cruising along at 110 and thinking I am doing 75, because on the racetrack it felt like it. It is a toy that I get to play with once a year.”

“Julian drives his more than that but it is normally the Audi for day to day driving.”

Christine stepped out of the kitchen leaving Mary.

“Are you still volunteering?”

“I am, although it has been tough. The very first term was the only time I was there during the day. Since the start of the second term of first year I have volunteered on a Monday night. I have never been able to recapture the energy from that first term. I walk home nearly every week just letting it all drain out of me, and for more than a year I have needed to walk home to reset myself. There have been many weeks where it has been really tough. But on the other side of the scale one of the patients from that first term started at the University this term, and she is at Trinity as well. Mandy has had an outsize influence on me still doing it.”

Mary took his hand.

“You haven’t thought of giving up?”

“Most weeks I do ask myself that. Two things are stopping me. My sheer bloody stubbornness is part of it but the other part is I am not doing it for me. It is not about me, if I can help some of these patients then it is all worth it. Forging any kind of connection on dark winter nights is all but impossible but I am going to keep trying. But when I graduate I will have to think about what I do once I start work. I am not going to try and do the same thing at Great Ormond Street.”

“Does it affect you?”

“Yes, but it is the real-life vision of the statistics. I have not got sufficiently close to any patient since the first term that it is a personal tragedy. That is a stupid thing to say, every one of them is a personal tragedy, it is just not my tragedy. All I see is the row of 10 beds and two to four of those children fading away, being swallowed up by their bed, until suddenly they are not there. And that is four hours a night one day a week. The mental and emotional strength of the medical staff is beyond my comprehension.”

He stood quietly looking at the floor, Mary still holding his hand.

“Do you think that it is your way of letting the guilt go? Will you cope with it next year?”

“I have no idea. There have been times since the start of 3^rd year, so coming up for a year and a half, where I have really struggled and thought about giving up. I think I will have to see how I feel in the autumn of next year. There is no way of knowing until I am living it. I am thinking that working for the Cancer Society, McMillan, someone like that will be a compromise. But you know how I feel about karma. I can sense when my balance is off and when I make a different decision it feels like a weight lifts. I will have to see how I feel in a year. That was how the modelling started. When the Art College student asked me I initially said no, but it didn’t feel right somehow. When I decided that I would model for them it was almost palpable the way it felt. It just felt right. And look at what that has led me to.”