Just a Cold Shower

“Nothing a cold shower and a night on the couch won’t cure.”

Sherri didn’t risk learning that Ted’s threat was real. Without the padded bra, her church dress didn’t fit nearly so well. The top half hung loosely, making it clear that my wife was lacking in the breast department.

I was horny and frustrated by my wife’s response. I decided to seek out Ted after the service.

“I guess I hadn’t realized before today how important discipline is in a successful marriage. But I’m not sure where to start. Sherri just brushes me off.”

“That is a frequent problem in new marriages. Husbands often fail to realize the magnitude until a year or more of marriage has passed. It is good you are recognizing that now.”

“But what do I do about it?”

“This happens often enough that we have a program run by the elders. We can make house calls or arrange therapy sessions here at the church. You can select to have a mentor assigned to you, or you can rotate elders to obtain different perspectives. For particularly headstrong wives, we also have the option to attend a meeting with all the elders.”

“I think Sherri might need the elders’ meeting, at least at first. How would that work?”

“I can take care of the arrangements. The elders would want to know what’s happening at least a day in advance. I would suggest keeping Sherri in the dark about it. Schedule the session for just after Wednesday prayer meeting. Bring your wife to the conference room next to the pastor’s office. We will all meet you there. The head elder will begin with a stern rebuke to both of you, focusing on the role of the husband to rule the household and the role of his wife to submit. He will then mention that it is the role of the elders to guide families and, when necessary, provide the discipline that is lacking in the home.”

“Will the punishment start that evening?”

“Absolutely! The head elder likes to strip the wife to reduce her resistance. He will be the first to demonstrate a punishment. He favors the cane, usually applying 5 strokes. Each of the elders will demonstrate a different position and instrument. Be prepared, I’m not the strictest of the elders. Sherri will go home with some noticeable welts. At the end of the session, the head elder will decide whether Sherri should return to the entire group for weekly sessions or begin weekly home visits. Unless you object, I will suggest both.”

“I think you are right; both will be best. I’d like to start this Wednesday.”