Chapter 16: Moonlight Through Curtains

The rest of the school seemed to flyby. My Monday lessons with Suzie were replaced by taking care of GG’s proclivities. At the time, I wasn’t sure I’d ever understand them. Things were more than a bit awkward whenever I stayed over at the twins’ place. It took time to establish a ‘normal’ there. I ended up taking Lis to the spring formal; Alex went stag and I tried to split my time between the two. Thursdays were spent with Sarah drawing emotion from aging vinyl. Mindy dragged me out to spend time with Emily and Sally about a third of the time they visited.

For the squad things kicked up, Mindy helped with a couple of routines with a promise for more after the summer break began. We did several fund raisers to get money for the next year’s competition fees and new uniforms. Beth was keen on an trip following the next years competition, but it wasn’t likely to get funded with how poorly the various car washes and bake sales went. It didn’t help that Alex attempted to cook something to contribute to one of those bake sales which meant I had to help her clean soot from most of Sarah’s kitchen.

There was also the occasional weekend practice at the grandmother’s. During one of these after two to three hours of repeating the same routines the seven of us (the squad and my sister) were all crashed out either in or next to the pool. I was floating. Mindy was sunning herself on the deck with Angie. Beth was doing what passed for laps in an above ground pool, while Stacy and Jill were teasing each other while pretending to keep it friendly for the benefit of my sister.

During one of these sessions, I had an idea.

“I think we should go with three outfits.”

Beth sat up and asked, “What?”

Jill had become the de facto treasurer and added, “Two is a stretch for our budget and we’ll need home and away gear.”

“Red and grey sets for home and away. White with red and gold accents for the competitions.’

I watched Beth ponder the idea out of the corner of my good eye before she responded, “That would look good.”

Stacy followed along, “We were the only ones there using our normal outfits.”

“We should also consider adding two instead of one.”

Beth stood and walked to the edge of the pool. She sat and dipped her toes in, “You’ve lost me.”

“Seven spots make more sense. I’m not sure if it’s feasible, but we can mirror the moves for the forward spot on the other side and it’ll look more balanced.”

Mindy chuckled, “You were paying attention during my class.”

“My school in England had a member of the royal ballet come in to teach us. I learned most of this from her.”

My other interrupted, “And you wanted to impress her so much like a dog wanting pets!”

Mindy teased, “Aw, was she baby brother’s first crush?”

“You showed me some of the newer stuff for your recital and I mimicked the gymnastics bits, but putting on a show was her.”

After the squad had left, Mindy and I retired to her room. After some nice, romantic lovemaking while lying in the afterglow she asked, “So, tell me about this ballerina?”

“You asked if I had a crush on her? I didn’t understand what a crush was, but probably would’ve been my first on a real person cause I really liked it when she praised me. I also really liked her boyfriend. My first sexual dream was us in a hot tub. I have no idea about the hot tub, cause I’ve still never been in one.

My first actual crush was on Ace.”

“Ace?”

“Companion to the Doctor.”

“The Doctor?”

“Time travelling alien that plays the spoons and defeats cosmic horror. I’ll loan you a book or two. I used to dream of them showing up at my door, rescuing me, and taking me on adventures. Those usually ended with platonic cuddling. So, that was probably my pre-sexual crush and my only celebrity one.”

“Has anyone praised you during sex?”

“You mean besides cumming and dirty talk?”

“Someday, I want to try something.”

With a new goal in mind efforts were redoubled, we eventually did make our funding goals; but it was about a month prior to the end of school that Scott through the world askew. He ended up dating Summer and not during one of the breaks he and Beth frequently had. There was a bit of public fallout, Beth remained her usual put together self in public and weather the storm of public opinion, but in private you could tell she was bothered by the whole the thing. It was about two weeks after school ended that came to a head.

It was maybe 0100 and I was staying at Robert’s that night, taking advantage of the television and VCR he’d used to try and buy my affection when I heard a knock at my private entrance. I’d changed the lock and had a handful of keys made, but I’d only given Alex hers at that point. I went to the door and saw Beth and saw Beth standing there with eyes as wide as saucers. I didn’t hesitate to open the door. I led her in and gave her some water, “What are you on?”

“ ... shrooms. They’ll wear off in a few hours. Can I stay with you?”

“Sure.”

She turned down food and various other creature comforts. She sat on my couch as I watched Ripley defeat the alien queen. After that, we both stripped and I put her in my bed and took the couch with a spare sheet and pillow. I closed my eyes and tried to regulate my breathing, but after ten minutes or so Beth got out of my bed and walked over to me. She stood and stared at me.

I raised the sheet and she crawled up next to me. It didn’t really make sense. I had taken the couch just to give her the bed and now we were curled together in the far smaller space. “You do this with her.”

It wasn’t a question. It was the expression of a fundamental law of the universe. Fundamental law number three: Gravity exists, Number 5: Matter and energy are interchangeable in the right conditions, Number 63: nothing moves faster than light, Number 117: I sleep with Alex.

“Yeah, Darling. Usually on the bed though.”

“You and she don’t...?” This was the question; she was testing the waters.

“No. She (you) and I don’t do that.”

“But you want too.”

Fundamental law Number 6: “Yeah, born male.”

“Do you want to? With me?”

“No.”

“You still don’t?”

“Aside from you being stoned? I meant what I said. You need a friend more than another lover.”

“That was a long time ago.”

“It was at the beginning of the year.”

“But you and the others...”

“Are different.”

“There haven’t been that many.”

“For me or you?”

“Me. Seven isn’t a lot.”

The number was shocking. “Seven?”

“Yeah, I’ve only slept with seven. I’ve done other stuff with more. a lot more.”

“What brings this up?”

She ignored my question and instead asked, “When you lost it, how did it happen?”

“I made a mistake, imbibed something and stuff happened.”

“Do you regret it?”

“Yes and no.”

“Ok.” She stated as if no explanation was necessary, but I had to explain myself. it was a need from the depths of what passed for my soul.

“What I mean is. I benefitted. I wouldn’t be the man I am if it hadn’t happened when and in the way it did.”

“But.” Fundamental law of the universe # 614: there is always a “but.”

“Yeah, I’ll always wonder what it would have been like if it had been with someone that mattered, someone I cared about.”

Like Mindy or Alex or Sarah or you. Wait, why her? I ... Why would it be better with her? I don’t have feelings for her like the others. Wait, do I have feelings for Sarah? Fuck. I can’t deal with this shit right now.

“Yeah, know what you mean.”

“You care about Scott.”

“He wasn’t my first.”

“Oh.”

The room fell silent as one of my many illusions about the nature of reality shattered. Eventually she chose to end the silence, “You aren’t going to ask are you?”

“Ask what?”

“Whom?”

“Assumed you’d tell me if you wanted me to know Darling.”

“C’mon, I tell you the biggest cherry hound around didn’t even get his girlfriend’s and you aren’t’ curious?”

“You two’re dating this week? You really need a sign like one of the ‘no vacancy motel signs. It’ll say ‘Scott and Beth are not dating’ with the not only lighting up half the time.”

“You know were not, I may never date him again. You do know what I mean.”

“If you want to tell me you can. If you don’t that’s fine to. I’m curious, but I’m not an asshole.”

“Jeremy Hunter.”

I didn’t know the name. “Before my time.”

“Oh yeah, sometimes I forget you weren’t always around. He was a senior when I was a freshman. QB when the team looked like it actually might win something because...” I drifted for a bit, but eventually she got to, “ ... Anyway, He asked me to go to prom and we’ll how many freshman get to go to prom?”

“Wouldn’t know.”

“I didn’t go this year. So, I say ‘yes’ and I have to sneak out because Mom wouldn’t have let me go. So, I’m like Cinderella at the ball. I get to go and well he...”

“Took advantage of you.”

“Don’t make it sound like I wasn’t a willing participant. I knew what I’d have to do and what I got in return. I just got what I wanted.”

“Life isn’t zero-sum.”

“Huh?”

“You don’t have to have a winner and loser. If you get something you aren’t taking it away from anyone else.”

“Yeah, I got what I wanted but,...”

“You’d kind of like to know what it would have been like under different circumstances.”

“Yeah, so I know what you mean.”

“Always assumed you would, Darling.”

“Why do you call me that?”

“Darling? Don’t know, just fits you.”

After that, I picked her up and moved her to the bed and kissed her forehead. Joined her and we fell asleep.

At some point, I sprang straight awake when the beads rustled. I was on my feet in a second and heard Beth offer a bewildered, “What?” as I grabbed the Louisville slugger that rested beside the chest of drawers that my television sat on. I was to the beads as the figure stepped through and clicked on the light and with bat raised I faced my mother.

“What you’re going to attack me?”

“My room. Leave it.”

I walked back toward the bed and put the bat back where it belonged. I considered grabbing a pair of sweats, but didn’t really care if the bitch saw my cock swinging. She walked over to me. My mother was five foot five inches with breasts far larger than her frame should support, she was thinner than was healthy, had the familial blue eyes, but her hair was less than blonde. She’d been blonde once, but it was only a bottle that kept her there these days.

“This is my house. What is that slut doing here?”

“My friend is here because I wanted her here. You may get to make be here, but you don’t get to disrespect people.”

Bitch, doesn’t need to know she’s sleeping off shrooms.

Beth interrupted sounding more sheepish than I would’ve imagined she could, “I can just go...” She began dressing.

Moira screamed, “HOW DARE YOU DEFILE MY HOUSE!”

I sighed then summoned every bit of steel I could muster, but quietly uttered, “Why are you pretending to be my mother?”

Moira sputtered, “What?”