Chapter 11: Sailing over a cardboard sea

Sleep was fitful, I dreamed of the rose garden. I awoke at about 0300 and knew I would have no chance of sleep retaking me. I showered and dressed. I read for about two hours, before heading on into the night. My night greeted me with rain. October rain to cool my nerves, unfortunately that meant I couldn’t walk to school instead I walked up the hill and tapped on Scott’s basement window. When it opened, I crawled through, “Jesus, John. You ever sleep?”

“Sorry, Scotty boy. Need a favor.”

“What kind of favor?”

“Ride to the school um kinda now.”

“Trade you a paper for it.”

“Subject?”

“Civil war.”

“Beard?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll get you something tonight, but you’ll have to rewrite it so is sounds well ... like you.”

“You mean like I’m not a genieoues?” Ooh the pronunciation pains me.

“To say the least.”

“All right, let me take a shower and meet by the galaxie.”

Scott dropped me off at the school and then said, “Hey, I’m skipping today. I need sleep.”

“Be seeing you.”

I made my way to the library and waited on the hideous orange couch. I waited for about an hour rereading the Byron collection that was the most captivating book in the small library. She walked in at about 0630. Her black hair shined and contrasted her pale skin, she was wearing bell-bottom jeans and a yellow shirt. “Hey Lis?”

“Hey little devil.”

She sat down on the other side of the couch, “We need to talk.”

“I know.”

“Did you mean it?”

She looked down and said, “No.”

“The truth. Lis?”

“Yes, I’m in love with you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry because I love you?”

“Yes, I don’t, I don’t feel the same.”

“I know.”

“We need to stop playing around.”

“Please don’t do that to me.”

“I don’t want to lead you on.”

“I know it’s just sex to you.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Then don’t.”

“If we keep doing stuff you’re going to get hurt.”

“If we stop it’ll hurt me anyway.”

“I don’t know what to do here.”

“Can you pretend I never said it?”

“No, you can’t un-ring a bell.”

“Do you feel anything for me?”

“I like you, you’re my friend. I think you’re hot. I want to help you, protect you, spend time with you, but I don’t love you.”

“Sounds like love to me.”

“It’s friendship with a bit of lust.”

“You’re still in love with Alex, aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“How do you feel differently for her than me?”

“I want you to be happy; I need her to be happy. If she walked in right now and asked for my ear to wear as necklace, I’d ask which one, then walk down to the shop and give it to her.”

“And if I asked.”

“I’d tell you no and probably laugh at you.”

“So, it’s a degree thing?”

“Partially, I care about you.”

“Do you think you can ever feel that way about me?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know how it works. I’ve been attached to a lot of girls when I was younger, but I’ve only felt something like that with her and one other person. Lis, what do you want me to do here.”

“Date me?”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“At least homecoming, just give me one night.”

“I’m already going to homecoming with Angie.”

“Oh, do you like her?”

“I feel the same thing for her I do for you; She’s my friend, I would go with you but she asked me first.”

“Ok, what about the winter formal.’ How many of these damn things are there? “Winter formal?”

“It’s at the end of January. The girls ask the guys.”

“I’ll make you a deal.”

“Ok.”

“Ask out at least three available guys before then, and if you don’t have a date for that Dance, I’ll take you. I’ll make it as romantic as possible.”

She beamed, “Okay.”

“About the sex stuff.”

“Please don’t cut me off.”

“You have the girls, you don’t need me to de-stress or play around.”

“It’s better with you, they don’t have a dick. Well Stacy does but yours is bigger and warm and...” Yeah. Sapphic love is only interesting when I can watch or stick my dick in it.

“Can you separate the act from the emotions?”

“Huh?”

“Can you realize that if I fuck you, I don’t love you?”

“Yes, I know that.”

“I won’t cut you off as long as it doesn’t hurt you, but if I think it’s in your best interest for even a second it’s over.”

“Good, I was so afraid.”

“Are we still mates?”

“Yeah, if you want to?”

“No, are we still friends, are we good?”

“Yeah, we’re friends, just friends.”

“Lis, if you can’t do this let me know now, if you change your mind just let me know. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I know.”

“Hug?”

“Please.”

We hugged. “Lis, remember ask out boys.”

“I know John, wanna fool around?”

“Lis.”

“Okay, Little Devil if the Formal does go well, can we date?”

“We’ll see, no promises.”

“Okay.” I didn’t fix this I just postponed the inevitable. I should have cut her off.

I hooked up with Alex during English. As was our norm we wrote in a notebook between us. “About that doubling Idea”

“You asked Lis out? She was so worried you were mad at her yesterday.”

“No, Taking Angie.”

“You two are dating! Lis would be better for you.”

“Just Friends with all of them”

“Oh yeah, Mal broke up with her for Betsy Charles.”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“Cool you can help me get ready.”

“Kind of have to get ready myself.”

“You know what I mean. I need to buy a dress.”

“You may be better off talking to Beth.”

“We can all go tonight! I’ll ask her.”

“As you wish”

“What do you think of Adam? He’s a senior.” She actually drew a smiley face? Wow.

“I’ll have an eye on him.”

“Why?”

“Guys just want one thing.”

“What?”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Not all guys are as slutty as you?”

“Slutty?”

“How many cheerleaders did you fuck yesterday?”

Just two, and my sister, oh and Suzie. Wait, was Suzie a cheerleader? I bet Mindy would look good in a cheerleader uniform. I wonder if Jill would let me borrow hers for the weekend?

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“C’mon. Don’t pretend it isn’t true, Beth, Lis, and I tell each other everything.”

“Sorry to disappoint you love, you’ve got an innocent little virgin here. I don’t kiss and tell.”

“Yeah, there is only one virgin left in the damn class.”

“Scott hasn’t found her yet? His cherry hound skills must be waning.”

“Scott wouldn’t go for me I’m too plain.”

“Bullshit! You’re easily the hottest girl in our class.”

“Don’t tease me.”

“Not teasing.”

“Beth’s prettier than me.”

“You can still count her ribs from across a room, she’s only starting to look healthy.”

“Lis then”

“Nope, it’s Wednesday so I get to sleep with the prettiest girl in school in my arms after we shop.”

“So, you really think Adam is going to try something?”

“Probably you are gorgeous.”

“Should I let him?” No! No! No! No! No!

“You shouldn’t do anything you’re not ready for and you barely know him.”

“You don’t think I’m ready.”

“That’s up to you, but you don’t know him he could be sweet until he gets what he want and then turn into an ass.”

“Guys don’t do that.”

“Ask Beth, Lis, or Sarah. Men are pigs.”

“You included?”

“Oink, Oink. I’m as bad as the rest. Well not as bad as Scott”

“You have to admit he’s cute.”

“If you say so.”

School was boring until Lunch. Most of my notebook conversations with Alex we’re all directly dance related. Alex rushed over to the tree as soon as we were done eating to join my girls and I walked into the gymnasium for a little basketball with Scott and Daniel. Instead, I walked directly into Mal as he backed out of the gym. Mal was 6 foot tall, long blonde hair, slender with a plaid flannel shirt he always wore as a jacket. He was the kind of idiot who liked to call himself an artist.

“Sorry, bud. Didn’t see you there.”

“Yeah, bet you didn’t see my girl yesterday either.” Be polite.

“Excuse me.”

I attempted to slip past him, but he stuck his hand across the door in attempt to block progress. “You fuck my girl yesterday or not?” Brilliant. Goddamn sewing circle.

“Betsy? Right? Never touched her.”

“No, fucking Angie.” If I agreed to that it would ruin my afternoon.

“I don’t kiss and tell. Anyway, I was under the impression you broke up with Angie.”

“Yeah, doesn’t mean you get to play out of your league.”

“Just because she’s out of your league, doesn’t mean she’s out of mine.”

His swing was telegraphed by a country mile and I dodged with ease. I stepped around him and he continued, “Pussy wants to fight, huh?”

“You swung at me. I’ve no interest in hurting you.”

“You’re like twelve, I can beat you ass.” I’m rubbish in a fight, but I got my ass kicked about every day by a man larger than you with military training, not to mention a few unofficial lessons from members of two countries’ military. You’re nothing to me.

“Don’t make me do something you’ll regret.”

He offered a straight jab which I deflected with a rising block. I quickly answered his aggression with a punch to the gut. He backed off. Coach Jackson yelled from inside they gymnasium, “Hey there a problem over there!”

Mal seethed, “After fucking school, church parking lot.”

“Honestly, are you that pathetic?”

Mal spit tobacco juice on the ground, “Be there dipshit.” Mal turned and walked away. I joined the lads for the rest of the period.

About ten minutes before the toddler tapped the turtle Scott asked, “What was that about?”

“Mal broke up with Angie. Angie needed an escort, I volunteered to take her as a friend. Mal is apparently a four-year-old who still wanted that toy he threw away.”

Daniel broke into the conversation, “So? You gonna meet him? I gotta pool going or at least I will.”

Scott countered, “Course he is. Can’t turn down a challenge like that. He’d be the laughing stock of the school.”

“Yeah, I guess I’ll have to. Want to run it by Angie first though.”

Daniel asked, “Hey would you be willing to take a dive? Cause if I offer good enough odds people might bet on you. Split my take 50/50”

“Danny boy, I think you lost your damn mind.”

I rushed out to the tree. The girls we’re packing up. I rushed in, “Hey Angie.”

“Hey, John.”

“Can I talk to you a minute?”

“Sure.” The toddler tapped the turtle on cue.

“Let’s walk the long way to the third.” The long way involved walking around the school and up the senior street.

“So, I heard about Mal.”

“Yeah, do you have an issue with me hurting him?”

“You’re really going to fight him?”

“I kind of have too. It’s a guy thing, if I don’t the lads won’t accept me and let me hang out under the bleachers or invite me to milk the cows or whatever the local kids do for fun.”

“I didn’t think you’d care about that.”

“I don’t really, but my life would be more difficult if I was the brunt of every joke.”

“So. why did you want to talk to me?”

“Wanted to know, what you wanted me to do.”

She wrapped her arms around herself, “I don’t want you to fight. I shouldn’t have bragged to him about you.”

“That explains the sudden mad on for me. Anyway, I have to. I meant how badly do you want him hurt?”

“You really think you can take him?”

“You’ve seen my back.”

“Yeah.”

“They didn’t come from pillow fights. I know pain. I can take him.”

“Don’t hurt him badly, he’s just a moron.’

“Facial bruising, but no broken bones?”

“Broken Bones?”

“It’s easier than you’d think.”

“Seriously, I think I did love him.”

“Did?”

“Yeah, we’re not together anymore. I’m going to get over him.” You either love him or you don’t ... you not being together wouldn’t change that.

“Alright, tell Beth I’m not going to be in practice again.”

“Okay.”

“Did Alex talk Beth into... ‘

“The Wednesday night shopping extravaganza? Yeah.”

“Great. My day’s planned. Hey, I won’t even get laid today.”

“You can’t go a day?”

“I can it’s just been a while. It’ll be an interesting experience.”

“I know you have us on the weekdays but who’s helping you out on the weekends?”

“I don’t kiss and tell, Angie-girl.”

“Don’t call me that, only my dad does that.”

“I like it.”

“Oh god, please don’t let it catch on. People are already calling Stacy ‘Ginger princess’ and Melissa ‘Sweet Lis.”

“Darling and Blonde Beauty not catching?”

“Not yet.” I ducked into the door and down toward chemistry. Angie went in the other direction.

As I took my place in chemistry. Alex had already written on the notebook between us, “What the hell are you thinking?”

“That I could use a cup of tea?”

“You’re going to fight Mal?”

“Don’t have a choice.”

“John, you’re better than that.”

“That bastard killed my grandpappy’s prized sow and now I gotta slug him one”

“Be serious.”

“It’s a guy thing.”

“I know, just didn’t think you were that much of a guy.”

“Can you rephrase that? It causes a pain in my masculinity”

“I didn’t think you’d sink to this kind of juvenile behavior. Better?”