Chapter 1

Study?

The smell of Robyn Olds’ pussy was my most powerful sexual memory for nearly a year in my early adolescence. Not that I had actually been anywhere near Robyn myself at the time, let alone touched her more intimate areas, but another grade 8 boy (Form II in NZ) had played ‘Stinky Finger’ with her and teased me with her mysterious and deliriously exciting perfume.

Uncle Frank, my father’s much younger brother, was my main source of information about sex and social relations as a young teenager. It wasn’t that my parents didn’t love me and care for me, it was more that my father’s war injuries and the ‘shell shock’ that plagued him for the rest of his life made him emotionally unfitted to parent. This, combined with his strict Presbyterian upbringing, meant that sex was rarely mentioned and never openly discussed in our household. My mother was aware of my father’s deficiencies as a parent, but was too loyal to him ever to oppose him directly, and sought to fill the gap in my education by ensuring I spent lots of time with my uncle.

Fortunately, even though he continued to live at home well into adulthood, Frank had become comparatively knowledgeable about social and sexual relations, and was willing to share what he knew about what girls want and don’t want, about how to relate to them, and about how to negotiate more intimate exploration. He explained my first wet dream, reassured me that masturbation was pretty much universal, and encouraged me to ‘pull myself’ without guilt and without leaving evidence that would upset my parents. He advised me and guided me through my first date and sexual exploration during Form II, and my first ‘girlfriend’ relationship during my first year at High School.

For the latter half of that year (Form III in NZ), Robyn and I formed. ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’ relationships with the Reed twins, Brian and Bronwyn. Robyn was Bronwyn’s best friend, and Brian was mine, and once I got together with my best friend’s twin sister, and Robyn got together with her best friend’s twin brother, we had a good thing going. We took advantage of the opportunity for each couple to spend some ‘private time’ together at the Reed’s house after school. before Mr and Mrs Reed arrived home from work.

At Uncle Frank’s suggestion, we formed a ‘study group’. Initially, it was intended to provide cover for our intimate activities, but as things worked out, we spent more hours studying and taking responsibility for cleaning and meal preparation at the Reed’s than we did in intimate activities. That was very valuable for all four of us, as all of us were in the top stream at our respective Boys and Girls High Schools, and were all under pressure from our various parents to keep our grades up.

Mr and Mrs Reed were not stupid. They very quickly realised that there was more going on than meal preparation and study, and confronted and questioned us as to exactly how far our intimate explorations had progressed. They were both lawyers, and very sharp. It was no good trying to lie, and we all confessed that we had done everything but go ‘all the way’. They surprised us by granting what they called ‘adult bed privileges’ in return for a promise that no one would ‘go all the way’ without a full family discussion first. They even bought double beds for the twins so that Bronwyn and me and Brian and Robyn could conduct our intimate exploration in comfort. I don’t know how much Robyn’s parents knew or guessed about what went on during our thrice weekly ‘study sessions’, but mine preferred to ‘see no evil’ as Uncle Frank would sometimes say.

Just before the start of the school year in 1960, the Reed family moved to the USA so that Mrs Reed could take up a newly endowed professorship in Family Law. That left Robyn and me in a ‘study group’ of two. During all the time our foursome had been together, we had always communicated through the Reeds, and I had never taken down Robyn’s phone number. I didn’t even know where she lived, although once Uncle Frank and I had visited her Aunt Emma’s place when we had dropped her off there.

We had all met Robyn’s aunt Emma when we protested a forthcoming All Black rugby tour of South Africa. Uncle Frank and Emma had seemed to like each other, but Frank had been noncommittal when I asked him if he had seen her again. I suspected however, that he might have Emma’s phone number. He did, and she had Robyn’s.

Robyn’s mother answered the phone. She had taken her new husband’s name and now Mrs Olds was Mrs Thomas. She seemed nice enough, but for reasons I wasn’t clear about, she didn’t seem overly enthusiastic about Robyn studying with me. Since I had no idea why, there was nothing I could address directly, so I left a message with her for Robyn to ring me.

It was nearly a week before we connected, and when we did, Robyn told me that her mum was worried about her spending lot of time alone and unsupervised with a boy. She had known that Brian and Robyn were boyfriend and girlfriend, but evidently believed that the presence of another couple would prevent things ‘getting out of hand’. I couldn’t resist.

“Actually, things got into hands. And mouths!” Neither could Robyn.

“But not pussies!” She gave a wicked giggle. “Yet!”

I wasn’t ready to talk about that, though I was missing Bronwyn. Somehow, pleasuring myself wasn’t as satisfying or exciting as it used to be, and I was remembering our last time together and how Bronwyn had whispered ‘Robyn likes it between her thighs’.

“As I see it, we have some options to check out with your parents. Mine are okay with you coming to my place or me going somewhere else. Would your Mum be okay about us studying together at your place? Or perhaps we could expand the study group?” Robyn was uncertain.

“It depends whether we want to do more than study.”

“You mean you and me? You said you didn’t want to be my girlfriend?”

There was a long silence. I stood in our front hall, where the only phone in our house sat on a small table on top of the Auckland Telephone Directory, holding the receiver to my ear and wondering what was going on with Robyn on the other end of the line. Eventually she sighed.

“Look – we need to talk.” It was my turn to be silent. That phrase hadn’t yet become a cliché, but I knew there was more to come. I was right.

We agreed to meet at a newly opened ‘Milk Bar’ after school. Robyn said she could cope with the gossip that being seen meeting a boy would inevitably produce, and I was fine about maintaining my own reputation at school as someone who knew lots of girls and was probably ‘doing it’.

We sat side by side in a booth, sucking our milkshakes through paper straws, and blowing bubbles to clear the blobs of icecream blocking them as we reached the bottom of the metal containers the milkshakes had been frothed in.

“So we need to talk?” Robyn was obviously gathering her courage, so I waited.

“I lied.” I ‘Hmmed’, and Robyn hurried on.

“I do want to be your girlfriend. I always have!”

“Jesus!” I had been here before. I was wary. Bad idea!

Robyn moved away from me and started to get up. I put my hand on her arm and she froze, half out of her seat. Her face was tight.

“You don’t want to – do you?” I knew that the best and probably the only thing to do was to be absolutely honest.

“I don’t know what I want about being your Boyfriend or what that might mean, but I’ve wanted to fuck you forever!” Robyn’s face softened and she sat back down.

“You looked scared as soon as I told you.”

“I was blown away to hear that after all this time, and I was wary because I got a hard time from Bronwyn when I didn’t immediately agree to be her boyfriend when she asked. How come you never said anything before this?”

“You weren’t talking to me in Form II, and you didn’t want to play ‘Stinky Finger’ even though you got hard when you smelled me on John Oxford.”

“But you never said anything last year?”

“I couldn’t! By the time we connected again last year, you were with my best friend, and Brian had the hots for me, and we all had a good thing going at the Reeds.”

“Bronwyn and me eventually agreed that we were ‘temporary’ Boyfriend and Girlfriend, and that meant we would spend our free time with one another and not date anyone else while we were together. Temporary – no promises about love forever.”

“I’d be good with that!” Robyn reached across her body to take my hand above the table, while her near side hand went under it and she fumbled in my lap for something to squeeze. Her target soon expanded.

“I’m good with that already!” I was briefly distracted as she grabbed me through my shorts and gave a series of very rapid squeezes. That was a completely new sensation, and I wondered briefly what other delights might be in store. “But what is to be done?” Robyn let go my dick.

“You’re weird!”

“Frank calls that ‘Lenin’s question’ After the Politbureau had wrangled for hours about Marxist theory.

“We don’t do early twentieth century ‘til the third term.” She thought for a few seconds. “If we’re getting together, we need a place to do it and set up the study group as cover.”

“It’s more than cover for me. Without it, my grades will drop away. We are getting much more pressure to perform, much more in the way of homework, and demands to do lotsa extracurriculars as well. You and me could study at my place, but no sex, and there’s probably no room for more people.” Robyn chuckled.

“Bronwyn sucked you off in your bed when you had concussion!”

“True – nicest part of the whole business, but I’m surprised you noticed. As soon as my bedroom door closed, you and Brian were all over each other! But seriously, if you and me are going to do stuff, it doesn’t seem like my place or your place is right for study.” Robyn reached for me under the table again and began to jack me slowly. Even through my shorts and underpants that felt nice.

“Perhaps we can study at my place and ‘do stuff’ at other times. Perhaps Frank will buy the place.”

“What?” Robyn let go of my cock and covered her mouth with her hand in the classic gesture.

“Oh Shit!” Now it was my turn to start to stand. Robyn put her hand on my arm. “I fucked up there! It’s supposed to be a secret!”

“Well it isn’t a secret any more. So tell me. What place? And how do you know?” Robyn didn’t answer immediately, and I stayed half standing and made a guess. “You heard something from Emma?” She was shamefaced, and her answer was almost a whisper.

“Yes – but I promised!” I slumped back into the seat and thought hard. Robyn waited.