Chapter 9

Thursday, 23 August 2018

Back from practice, I pondered my very recent past. The change in my status from virgin to ... Why isn’t there a similar noun for a girl no longer a virgin that carries no secondary or tertiary connotations? Whatever that noun might be, I became a non-virgin two nights ago on the single best night of my life. Having now experienced Brett, I have full understanding of why so many attractive girls are willing to share him with so many others. I’ve always known him ... at least for the less than a year I’ve known Brett ... as a nice, smart, very pretty boy. But holy, fucking Hell is he great in bed! He gave me five orgasms that night – only four with his cock in me at the time, then added another before leaving in the morning so he could go to Meka’s father’s funeral.

There’s no longer any doubt – whatsoever – that I could fall in love with a boy younger than me, and a white boy, to boot. Of course, he’s only 18 days younger, so I guess that one isn’t important. And, while I’ve known black girls who would ... remonstrate with me about being with a white guy, I don’t fucking care! I don’t care that he’s white and I don’t care that I’m black. He’s a fucking lovely boy and I’ve never met any other boy who has anywhere close to his wonderfulness ... at least, now that Seamus is officially not a boy.

But, fuck! I’m part of The Team, and we have ... and will have ... an agreement, a contract with the LA to share their guys. However, with the female membership of the LA currently at 24, the members of The Team numbering 14, and throwing in Coach for good measure, that’s 39 girls of various age sharing two guys. I want more Brett than I would get with his time fairly apportioned, and that’s with the LA getting the lioness’s share of his time. I find myself strongly considering ... marrying the LA (that’s the term they use, as they consider themselves all married, those 24 girls and two guys). I imagine that if I did that, I’d lose my ... place on The Team, but I doubt I can wait three or four fortnights for my next allotted time with Brett. Yes, I got him, suddenly and surprisingly, two nights ago, but I’m pretty sure those LA girls bend over backward to get Brett, particularly Brett, whatever he wants. If that’s suddenly carting him and me almost to my bed so we can be together in the biblical sense, that’s what those girls do.

I spent much of my post-lunch afternoon thinking about me, particularly my new sexual status; the LA; The Team; sex; Dad; Brett; and Seamus ... in no particular order, but all dealing directly or indirectly with sex. One of the subjects about which I came to no conclusion or enlightenment – and that was nearly all of them – was the sea change in how I feel about Dad. Do I really want a sexual relationship with him? Rather, do I want to continue the one I started two evenings ago. He took this afternoon off from work to get the sexual-health workup done that I suggested Tuesday night. Perhaps he’ll be home soon, and we can discuss that ... and a pile of other stuff.

<Later>

Dad got home before 3:30, and I found myself hugging him. It was ... nice. Not a hug with privates plastered against each other with tonsil-checking kisses, but a nice dad-daughter hug. We dealt with mundane stuff, like laundry and dinner, but after we’d cleaned up the kitchen, we sat on either end of the couch facing each other with our backs against the respective couch arms, our feet in the middle almost touching. While he was mostly erect, he wasn’t throbbing, and I tried to keep my focus on his face.

“First off, Honey, I probably won’t get results of some tests for a while. I seriously doubt if I have anything, but if I do, I want there to be no chance you get it from me. Second, I had a lot of downtime during all that, and I spent some of it thinking about your order for me to be like your friend Seamus. Could you ... explain that more clearly?”

I nodded, then thought carefully about precisely how to say things.

“Dad, I’ve been thinking about that and ... I won’t hold you to that. I ordered that while I was hopped up on sex, and that’s probably not the sort of situation in which I should be making sweeping orders that would impact you so much.” When he looked like he would respond, I held up a hand, then said, “First, let me explain about Seamus.”

While looking into Dad’s eyes, I thought further on the subject, then said, “The LA ... hierarchy, I guess, decided that they needed more guys, and their first choice to approach ... No, they weren’t going to ask him to be their sex toy from the start. Their plan was to get Seamus socializing with them more and if they continued to find him compatible, introduce him to sex with a very small number of them in hopes of getting him wanting more with them. He short-circuited their multi-month plan by telling them very early on that he wanted in. He had apparently figured out a lot about the LA, particularly the sex parts, and he wanted in. He recently told me that he did not intend to be ... everyone’s sex toy, but he thought that if he gave the girls permission to make him naked wherever and whenever they wanted and do what they wanted with him would get him accepted into the LA.”

I snorted, then added, “Of course, they were all for that, but he said that when he said that, particularly the last part of him giving them ... carte blanche to do with him as they wanted, he got a sexual jolt in his psyche. I don’t know what it was, but something happened such that a girl or woman made him have sex with her, just took him. He freaking loved it. He said that he’d had no idea that he had a submissive streak that wide, and the girls have been pushing him a little to look for the boundaries of his offer. The girls don’t tell other girls or women that he’ll do whatever they want, but if a girl or woman figures that out and makes him have sex with her, he’ll do it and fucking love it. He wants to be taken. Dad, he’d been a virgin before he joined the LA, so he’d had no knowledge of how he’d respond to sexual situations. Dad, I’ll say it again, he wants to be taken and absolutely loves being taken ... and I plan on taking him. Maybe tomorrow.

“Dad, I know I turned inward when Mom left us, as I remember a time when I wasn’t shy as a little girl. I’m trying to ... resurrect that girl I was. I don’t know if I’m going overboard in being ... dominant here in the house, so please tell me whenever I go too far.”

“Did you ... not mean, then, when you ordered me to be like Seamus?”

“No, Dad. I absolutely meant it, but, like I said, I was so fucking turned on by having sex, by having you watch me having sex, that I had no time to think clearly and without a haze of sex overcoming any common sense I might have. Hell, Dad, I even sucked your cock without clearing that with my ... less-overwhelmed me. You were hopped up on sex, too, as I understand why you agreed with my orders, but I won’t hold you to that.”

“Honey, let me tell you about ... your mom and me. We’d been having troubles in the marriage, and not all of those were because of her feeling trapped in the marriage. We got married ... We ... quote-unquote... had to get married, because I was still in my juvenile-male phase when I met her, despite that I was 23. Tangentially, I’m impressed with Brett, Honey, because he seems to know more about sex, love, and women at 15 than I knew at 23 ... or even 25 or 28. Anyway, here comes the really embarrassing part of what I need to tell you.”

He spent a few moments obviously getting his nerve up, then said, “I don’t know if you remember her, but your mom’s best friend when you were young was a woman, Marian, she’d met at work. They’d become thick as thieves, and your mom would invite Marian to dinner with us a few times a month and they’d go out together another two or three times a month. On those evenings, I was left with you. I admit that I resented that, but they wanted to do girls nights out, and she often guilted me into staying with you. When I was most upset by having to stay at home while they went out, I’d think dark thoughts and allow suspicion to rear its head, and I almost half-convinced myself that she was having an affair on those nights out or the two of them were hooking up with guys.

“Honey, I’m not trying to denigrate your mom, not at all. She never admitted to affairs, and I never found any proof, or even strong suggestion, that she was having such. I think ... she ... resented me getting her pregnant when she was still so young and hadn’t gotten to live much of the single-girl’s life she had wanted. I think she was simply trying to recapture something of that life.

“Honey, I don’t know ... entirely why she left. I think it’s obvious that part of why she did was the loss of her freedom that she’d wanted all through high school, but Marian and I certainly played roles in that decision.”

He firmly said, “Wait,” when I began to ask him what fault of his played a part in my mom’s running, then said, “One night, she said she was going out to meet Marian at a club, one of the places they usually went, and she just departed leaving me with you. It was already late, and she’d previously said we’d all stay home as a family. You were in bed and, I presume, asleep, when Marian showed up at the front door less than five minutes after your mom departed. She came in telling me a story about your mom, never stating that she was having an affair, but implying it strongly.

“Honey, I’ve felt poorly about this ever since, as my mind was too receptive to the story Marian was selling. This next part is relevant both to why your mom left and to ... something that’s come up here, recently. Marian convinced me that we should discuss the situation in our bedroom so that you didn’t overhear us. It was a reasonable argument, particularly as you’d only just gone down and had a habit of coming back out of your room under some pretense 15 or 30 minutes later.

“I let her lead me into the bedroom your mom and I shared and, once she closed the door, she stepped hard into me and put her hand on my crotch and began feeling me up while she kissed me. I remember being concerned, but I was already so mad and her mouth and hand both felt so good. She just took me, and I was a goner.

“Honey, I’d always been the relative aggressor in relationships, pushing, pushing for more. I’d had no experience with an aggressive woman, particularly an aggressive woman with virtually zero scruples. She took me and had her way with me ... in our bed. Emma, she made me cum three times, and I was surprised that I stayed hard the entire time, despite those orgasms. She was lovely, had an incredible body, and was insatiable. Emma Honey, that was the most incredible sex of my life, but your mom heard my third orgasm, and knew it for what it was. She bitch-slapped and punched both Marian and me, grabbed our cash supply, and departed. I’ve not seen her since.”

I was crying during the last part of Dad’s story, and when he finished, I crawled onto him, laid myself out, and cried onto his shoulder, Dad’s arms around me.

When I calmed, I was still lying naked on my naked dad, but I wasn’t feeling excited.

I said, “You said that story was relevant to something that came up here recently. Was that ‘something’ my ordering you to allow any girl or woman to take you?”

“Yes.”

“You think that the sex with Marian was wild because she just took you, but you’re not sure how much other factors played in that. Do you want me to set something up that you can’t know about to see if you find someone else taking you would be as exciting as Marian taking you?”

“Exactly.”

“Are you hoping that it works or that it doesn’t work?”

He breathed heavily and replied, “I don’t know. Either result has something of a negative implication.”

“Yes. If it doesn’t work, that is, if you’re not extra excited by some girl taking you, then you take some blame for so enjoying the sex with Marian because of your resentment being left here with me. Yes, nowhere near all of it, but a significant portion. Whereas, it if does work, and you have an incredible time, then blame can be laid on you for Mom’s abandonment of me because you were susceptible to being manipulated by just the right woman. You’d have to take on some blame, but not nearly so much. I understand that a lot of people lose their scruples when just the right sexual opportunity comes up, that their libidos nearly completely take over their minds. I agree that you need to know.”