Chapter 4

That Andrew couldn’t be everything that Suzanne wanted and needed was an ever-increasing ache because she was everything he needed. Maybe it took Suzanne explaining it all to him for him to finally properly understand all her needs and desire. It also totally reinforced the sense of impending doom, it now felt more tangible than ever. Between the booze and the energy they had expended they fell asleep on that late summer’s evening, Suzanne lying in Andrew’s arms. He should have been happy but all he could think of was the ever elusive missing piece.

After his exercises the following morning Andrew was the audience for a very unusual modelling show. Suzanne came through in her swimsuit and bent and twisted in front of him.

“Can you see it?”

“Er.”

“Andrew! Look closely, can you see it?”

There was no sign of the small base tucked between her cheeks and so Suzanne Jenner wore her butt plug to the swimming pool.

“I will have to take it out to travel, I don’t want to have to explain why I set the metal detector off at the airport. But unless I need to take it out I want to wear it all day.”

Suzanne held Andrew’s arm as they walked along the banks of the canal towards the swimming pool they had discovered behind the Rijksmuseum. She also did not let him brood.

“I am walking with you but you are a million miles away. Yesterday was a wonderful day, don’t act like it was horrible for you, that would make me so sad.”

She knew how to play him. He smiled and shook off his self-absorbed air of disappointment.

“It was wonderful for me too. I am glad we had that long talk in bed last night, I needed to understand a lot of what you talked about. I knew that you needed all this but I had never understood the why.”

Despite Suzanne’s sexual needs and desires Andrew felt that she was in the one in control as they walked and talked.

“Switch it around in your head and stop worrying about what you don’t like doing, focus on what you do like.”

Once again, the railing alongside a canal was convenient and he pushed her against it. Andrew kissed Suzanne for a long time, revelling in the glorious woman he held in his arms. His hands cupped her arse and tapped the end of the plug.

“You are getting me all worked up again.”

As they swam he thought about the weekend, but he thought about Suzanne more. He wanted to make her happy, everything else would take care of itself. Time to think about her, and stop worrying about the difference in their natures. When she, finally, met him in the lobby they walked back into the centre of the city.

“I think you were taking your time in the changing room deliberately. Bad Suzanne.”

All that got him was the human equivalent of a purr. They dumped their swimming stuff at the hotel before going looking for some brunch.

“When we find a place, sit and have some coffee. I will be back shortly. Okay?”

No questions, just a big smile. Andrew jogged into town and found another place to grab a coffee, less than a block from the sex shops. He skimmed through the little brochure before steeling himself. He was sitting beside Suzanne 23 minutes later, his multiple purchases safely in his case at the hotel. Suzanne was trying not to look disappointed that Andrew appeared to have not bought anything. He was pretty sure she thought he had chickened out. Andrew did nothing to dispel that idea.

After they had eaten it was time to face the journey back to Edinburgh. Five hours later they finally closed the front door of the flat; they were home. At least they had avoided Heathrow but that was about all he could say for the queuing and endless waiting around. After some cobbled together dinner they finally were able to relax. There was a lot of chat about the upcoming week, as usual Andrew was trying to cram far too much into it, and planning for heading to Glasgow the following Saturday. Nothing earth-shattering, their version of domestic bliss.

When they finally headed to bed Suzanne found the cuffs and chains all waiting for her. And although Andrew tightened the ankle chains, he left a lot of slack in the arms. He knelt beside the bed holding the blindfold. He couldn’t lie beside Suzanne because of the chains.

“Time to try something new.”

Andrew pulled the blindfold down over her eyes but still knelt beside her. So far everything has almost been antiseptic, humdrum, as if they were following a script. it was time to try something new. He lifted Suzanne’s body so that he could get into position on the bed. Just like she had described from her time with Phil Andrew leaned against the headboard with her head over his groin. The way Suzanne attacked his dick with gusto made him wonder whether she was anticipating what was coming. Silently he slid the first of his purchases out from under the pillow. Probably not Equestrian Society approved, but the crop would suffice. Not sure how she would instinctively react to the first hit he lifted her head off his dick, he wanted no part of an unfortunate clenching incident.

He was poised yet he hesitated for a moment. It was a simple thing but how hard to use the crop? Why he was worried about a wimpy tap he didn’t know but the result was a slash that was harder than he originally intended. Suzanne’s shriek was followed almost immediately by her hands grabbing his legs.

“More.”

Andrew hesitated for a moment and it was almost a demand.

“Don’t you dare stop. And talk to me Andrew. Paint a mental picture for me.”

With that she moved her mouth around and found his cock before starting to suck again. The next two strikes were robotic as he tried to get my head into this game. Finally Andrew started to talk.

But what do you say to your closest friend? Smart, complicated, beautiful. But sucking you off while lying chained to the bed, all the while getting smacked on the arse, with a riding crop. Andrew focused on Suzanne’s words from the previous day. She needed to be punished, and it was up to him to do it. He had no idea what he said, probably something to do with her being naughty, but it was a struggle. However much Suzanne needed this, however much Andrew was prepared to do this for her, psychically this was fingers down the blackboard of his soul. But then his closest friend screamed and came as a result of it.

“Fuck me Andrew, fuck me hard.”

He needed Suzanne to provide the roadmap for him. Andrew almost tripped getting himself untangled from her and getting round to the end of the bed. Suzanne’s blowjob had kept him from going full turtle but he was not hard enough to fuck her. And yet as he unbuckled her ankles so that he could lift her hips into position, the sight of her, the stain on the sheet she had managed to make all on her own, the wanton ripe smell of her worked wonders. Just before Andrew buried himself into her he pulled out his final purchase from under the bed. He had bought two floggers, tendrils the length of his forearm, the faux chamois leather soft. Suzanne couldn’t see it but it looked menacing yet was the lightest one he had been able to find.

Suzanne’s reaction was all Andrew could have hoped. He held the flogger and lay the tendrils down her back, she stiffened as she felt it and as he slapped it gently on her back Suzanne screamed and came. It had nothing to do with the sensations, what she was feeling on her back. She was being flogged, it was punishment, that Suzanne felt she needed, and Andrew witnessed first-hand how the mind controls the body and bends it to its will. Suzanne slumped forward on the bed and he unclipped her wrist cuffs before hauling her up onto his body and holding her. Suzanne lay in his arms for a long time before she said anything.

“Thank you Andrew. We will talk about this tomorrow but tonight I just want to lie in your arms.”

Suzanne’s breathing was deep and steady in no time as the emotions of the weekend caught up with her. Andrew too succumbed to sleep but his mind was not still.

The following morning he was back into his usual routine and when he returned from his run Suzanne had already headed to Warrender. She was swimming hard when he stepped out of the changing room so he joined her in an adjacent lane. Andrew was not full of angst for once. Suzanne had explained who she was, and most importantly what she needed, and he had seen it first hand for himself. Suzanne had called him on it and as he swam there was no denying it; the mental domination, the mind games, the dress-up, the tying her up, all of that excited him. It was no longer purely because she was excited by it. Maybe at first it was but now it excited him too. But Andrew was also pretty positive that his reaction to punishing her was not going to change. As for the two of them, they were no further forward in any kind of resolution. But he shoved that to the back of his mind. They had to get through the coming year. His feeling of dread never totally went away. Suzanne may find someone to give her that last 10% that she needed. He had no idea what was going to happen at the end of the year. But there was no point in borrowing problems forward. Suzanne showered at the flat as usual and Andrew had the coffee made by the time she was dressed. She came through and kissed him gently.

“Thank you for yesterday. I know it can’t have been easy for you. I have put everything away, there is no need for any of that stuff until Christmas. That I know it is here is a help. But you should know. When I felt the strands of the whip on my back, it was fucking fantastic. When I saw it this morning I was amazed. It looks incredibly real and scary but the tendrils are so soft. But I didn’t really feel it last night, I was in total sensory overload. Thank you Andrew for going so far out of your comfort zone.”

They kissed for a long time, feelings expressed without any words and then whole topic was dropped.

“We will go through to Glasgow on Saturday morning?”

He nodded.

“So it is Monday morning and I guess you have all the usual people to visit. Your grandmother, Leslie and Julian, Maggie and Tony, Pete, the office, anyone else?”

He laughed, she knew him very well.

“No, you have hit all the main ones. I do need to develop some pictures so I will be at the shop using the darkroom. I will call Grandma shortly and confirm this morning with her and then dinner on Thursday night. I will call Pete for Wednesday but Friday night is just the two of us. Leslie and Julian are coming here tonight and we are having dinner at their place tomorrow. Some of the days will be at the office I think. Maybe some studying thrown in as well but I am well ahead.”

“When did you arrange dinner?”

“I saw Julian in London two weeks ago, before I went to Paris.”

“What was Julian doing in London?”

“He had business in the city and we met up. Do you want to come down to the office this morning?”

“I’ll head over and see Mum. I will see her and Dad for dinner on Wednesday and Thursday.”

“Okay, drop me off at the office and then you can take the car.”

“Thanks Andrew.”

Andrew stopped in and said hi to Creighton and Morag and waved at Leslie who was on the phone when he put his head round the door. But the first couple of hours of the morning were spent with Julian talking about the updated version of AIMS, Spotlight. Well that was the original name but Mhairi had checked and it had been trademarked already. They called it Spotlight for months internally knowing that they would have to find a name eventually.

“Before we talk about the actual program let me tell you about the visit I got from Mhairi. The Ministry of Defence sent a ‘security consultant’ to talk to her. Freaked her the hell out, me too when she came and spoke to me. You, me and Les need to go and see her tomorrow morning and figure out what we are going to do. The programming will be the easy part.”

“What do you mean?”

“Look, it is pretty shit of me to bring this up and then not say anything but it makes more sense to do this once with all four of us together rather than piecemeal. Can you just trust me on that and wait until the morning?”

“You know what I am like! Sure, but you’re right it was pretty shitty.”

“Agreed. Right, what do we need to add?”

The rest of the meeting was very productive. They had a list of the immediate changes that the Ministry wanted to the program and broke them down and figured out, several were very straightforward while others were not too bad, given the changes in computing memory and power since they wrote the original program. It was only when Leslie came down and joined them that they stopped on the technical detail. Her hug was long and heartfelt.

“So much for our quiet ordered life. Last week was crazy getting all the vetting forms completed. We did them on a sort of auto-pilot. Do you think this is all worth it?”

“I used AIMS for something that it was not designed for but was still obviously suitable. That is what has led to all this. As soon as you are granted clearance, and you will be granted clearance, then it can all be explained.”

“You seem sure that we will get clearance.”

“I got clearance. You are as rich as I am so there will be no issue over money. You are more politically conservative than I am. I told them I would not give up my friendship with Nikki and Fran to get clearance; you know them but nowhere nearly as closely as I do. And you do not know 15 foreign nationals, which I had to list, Spain, France, Italy, Finland. And those were the ones that I know well. There were days when the studio had 50 people in it. And you didn’t have to confess how many of the models you had slept with. They don’t care, they are looking for ways for the person to be blackmailed. If I can get clearance, being a big old slut with lesbian friends then you two, and Mhairi, should be fine.”

Leslie and Julian looked at each other and burst out laughing.

“You always put things into perspective. Okay, so we should get clearance. Then this can be fully explained. Taking that as given, should we be doing this?”

“That is the issue. It all happened so quickly two weeks ago. But the key thing to remember is that it is just like Mr. Strong’s firm seven years ago. Different issue but the same mindset. This is a chance to get in at the start with a program that I have already demonstrated works, at least partially. Without getting all patriotic, it is helping the defence of the country. There is an opportunity to help, make a difference, and I think, get a profitable, long term business out of it. Not crazy profitable like Jullesand was, I don’t think that will happen. But there is the chance to licence this to other NATO governments if it works.”

“How big?”

“I have no idea. Look, AIMS worked. Showed some things that had been missed. Demonstrated its value right there. Now they want AIMS updated so that it is designed for the job. Fixing AIMS to create Spotlight or whatever we call it? The three of you should be fine. You told me that Kenny is strong and Aiden is decent. With you leading them the three of you should be able to have something for them. But that is where we have to talk to Mhairi tomorrow; pricing; contracts; terms; penalty clauses; who owns the code; can we sell or licence the code, I presume with government permission. Just a ton of details.”

Andrew stopped and gathered his thoughts.

“This is a chance to do something worthwhile and I trust Mhairi to look out for us and let us make some money. I know that you are a really good programmer and we can create child of AIMS without a problem. But what that means going forward, is there more work? I don’t know. My relationship to Freya is almost a hindrance rather than a help.”

He shrugged.

“You are right, let’s walk before we think about running. We can update AIMS pretty quickly and then see where we are. It is not like we are just on the cusp of creating anything else worthwhile.”

Julian visibly relaxed and Leslie smoothly stepped in.

“I presume Suzanne knows nothing about this?”

He shook my head.

“No, so we can’t talk about it tonight. I have a lot I want to chat about tonight so it won’t be an issue.”

Before he headed out Andrew went downstairs and along to Elspeth’s office. She was on the phone but waved him in. She concluded the sale and finally hung up.

“Things are still selling well?”

“Oh yes, we are busy. Hang on one sec.”

Andrew watched as she entered something in her computer.

“You are tracking things on a computer now?”

“Yes, Maggie got them for us. And Tony talked to Julian and he created a similar program to the one we use to keep track of all the modelling shoots. This one lets us keep track of what we have sold, to who, when, all that sort of them. It is complementary.”

Andrew broke into a smile; the business was going from strength to strength. Once Elspeth had finished updating her computer she sat back. She looked smart and professional, and exuded an air of confidence.

“How are you? It is good to see you, not that I have been counting the days.”

Well that at least partially answered that, unasked, question.

“Tell me about your summer, about the preparations.”

She smiled and shifted in her seat.

“I am glad Dolly isn’t here, we can chat without having to go to an empty office.”

“Dolly?”

“Dolores, the woman who works with me part time. Her oldest is sick and so she is off today.”

Elspeth squared her shoulders and looked at Andrew.

“There were three practical things we needed to do. I phoned around and was put in touch with a wig maker. Normally they deal with cancer patients but they were happy enough to help. I spun some tale of amateur dramatics and they didn’t question it. As you can see I got my own hair cut short so that it is easier to cover. We have practiced repeatedly and Donnie took lots of shots that I developed. It was fascinating to see how different I looked with different hair. So that is sorted. The transfers are a bit of a pfaff to be honest. I initially put it on the back of my hand, obvious and prominent but flexing my hand meant it peeled off too quickly. We ended up with it being applied to the inside of my wrist, I have to be careful but there is a lot less movement. The last task, the clothes? I never thought I would see the day when Donnie Robertson would be happy to go clothes shopping. That has been a blast and I have a bag of stuff that I can never wear outside the studio.”

They were both smiling at the reason for Donnie’s willingness to go clothes shopping. Elspeth wasn’t done though.

“We have added one thing to your list. We were watching TV one night, it was a chat show, and the actress talked about wearing contacts to make her eyes look different. I think it was a horror movie but that isn’t important. So I went into an optician and asked about them. It was a right hassle, I had to get my eyes checked and everything but I have blue contact lenses now as well. They have no prescription so they don’t affect my eyesight but they change the colour and they stand out in the photos. So I will have different hair and eye colour and a tattoo. The last thing has nothing to do with the props or the clothes. We have had a couple of months to think about this. And we did think about it. Why was I doing this? The nature of the photographs, knowing the purpose of the magazines. Should we step back? But you heard us in July, this is something that I want to do. For me. And it is something that Donnie wants me to do. For him.”