Chapter 5: Intentions

“Where are we going?” Maria seemed remarkably calm for someone who had been dragged out of her temporary home with nothing but the clothes on her back.

“Second star on the right and straight on ‘till morning!”

“I hope that’s a quotation,” she grinned. I assured her that it was the directions Peter Pan gave Wendy for finding Neverland. I also admitted that we were aiming for Las Cruces, a much more prosaic destination. I became practical for a time, suggesting that we find an open mall where she could purchase whatever clothes and toiletries she needed until we had time to make a proper shop. The cloud of gloom that had been hanging over me since I left Reading had been thickening since we arrived in El Paso, but now it was beginning to thin.

We bought sandwiches and soft drinks in the mall, taking the lot to the motel room we rented on the outskirts of Los Cruces. The parking area was well lit, but I brought everything from the car up to our room; better safe than sorry. Maria raised her eyebrows when I brought in my new laptop, but she said nothing until we had finished eating and were lying on the queen-sized bed, with my fingers gently massaging her scalp through her hair.

“You’re a complete fraud, Andreas,” she murmured, snuggling even closer. “The first time you rubbed my head like this was in your hotel room in Vegas when you told me you are an engineer. You painted a picture of a careful planner, overcoming obstacles by calm persistence. The truth is that you’re the most impulsive man I’ve ever met – and I’ve met guys out of their minds on drugs!”

“You’ve discovered my fatal flaw. I know all the things a proper engineer should do and think but my brain simply won’t cooperate. I make a plan, put on my blinkers and follow the conventional path; then I lose concentration for a moment and my mind comes up with a new and surprising answer to the problem before me. Like tonight, when I was working to a plan and then Phil said something, and I saw an opportunity to leave without taking the phone he had given me. In my excitement, I forgot that I abandoned you with the phone.

“I don’t suppose it means much to apologize, but I most fervently do. I’m faced with a problem that I thought I had solved twenty years ago, and I need your help to find a way through it.” We were both silent for a few minutes and I may even have dozed off. “I don’t suppose many men have loved you for your mind.” She was off the bed in one fluid movement, standing glaring down on me.

“More riddles, Andreas? Ever since I first heard your voice, you have been spinning some mixture of lies and half-truths. I care for you, and I want to help but I need to know where you are going.” I grinned at her: “I thought we’d look around Las Cruces in the morning then drive to Flagstaff and see the Grand Canyon before we get back to Las Vegas.” She threw herself on the bed, pummeling me with her fists but laughing, I was relieved to see. “I admit that I have misled you, but I haven’t told you a single lie.”

Some time after we settled again, she gave a sigh and got up on one elbow to look deeply into my eyes. “Ok, Mr. Engineer, let me have the latest edition of your fake plan.” I paused to consider where to start the story, but I struggled to find a loose thread that would unravel this Gordian knot; I was tempted to adopt Alexander’s solution without delay. Sadly, the camouflage I had taken a lifetime to build held firm. “Penny wants to do her MBA in Las Cruces and I thought we should look around to see what it looks like.”

Maria sighed, but all she said was that I was going to have to come clean before we reached Las Vegas. Then she pondered out loud if Annie Fernandez might know someone in the Las Cruces faculty. I dug my phone out of my money belt before I looked at my watch; it was nine o’clock on a Sunday night, surely too late for the call. Maria assured me that Annie would welcome the interruption: “From the way she was looking at you that day, she probably thinks about you even more when she’s getting ready for bed.”

I did phone Annie, telling her about Penny’s ambitions and she promised to help, even though she was deeply disappointed that my daughter has neither skill nor interest in soccer. I was yawning by the time I persuaded the coach to put the phone down; I had missed my siesta, after all.

The following morning, we wandered round the town where Maria used her feminine senses to uncover a nest of boutiques. She lamented our lack of money since we had put most of my cash into a bank account in El Paso and did not yet have a card to allow us to withdraw. She was astonished when I handed her an American Express card with a note of the pin number. She was woman enough to leave her questions until later, pointing me to a café while she tested the limits of my card.

I was enjoying my first coffee when my telephone rang, and a rather nervous woman introduced herself as Cindy Schmidt. She is an associate professor in the Business Management school in Las Cruces and her friend Annie had called her about my daughter. Cindy and I chatted for almost half an hour, taking plans for my daughter much further than I had envisaged. Cindy is running a summer school at which Penny will be welcome during her visit to El Paso. If she formally enrolls, the result will accrue credits to her MBA. I passed Penny’s contact details to the eagerly helpful professor.

By the time Maria returned, beaming, carrying a substantial proportion of the contents of the boutiques, I had sent an email to my daughter summarizing the position. She telephoned me before we got back to the car, warning me that she could not afford to talk for long and then chatting for almost quarter of an hour. “What have you done with my stuffy old, do-nothing Daddy?” she wanted to know.

I was driving as we pulled out of Las Cruces, listening to Maria excitedly reporting on her purchases. After a while, she gave a giggle and waved the American Express card at me. “I’ve caught you in a lie,” she chortled. “I heard you tell reception in Tucson that you didn’t have a credit card.” I explained that I had the piece of plastic, but it was not a viable credit card until I activated it while she was having her siesta the day before. “It was another of my half-truths, I must admit.”

She was quiet for a time, using my phone, claiming it had more information than hers. Finally, she made a telephone call, beaming when she ended it. “We’re staying the night in Grand Canyon Village. It’s a newish resort right on the lip of the canyon.” She then sat squirming in her seat for some time, clearly psyching herself up for speech.

“Are we running away again? You’re much happier since we escaped from Phil, I can see that, but have you a final destination in mind?”

“I told you right from the start that I am running towards, not away. El Paso is my final destination, since you ask, and I want to find a home there large enough for a family to settle in for a generation. My hope is that you will share the home with me, and my kids. I also want you to take a job with me as my personal assistant. I don’t know the going rate, but I’ll double it.”

“That’s a lot to take in. I’m not saying I’m against it, but I need time to get my head around it, Andreas.”

“I understand. That was the easy bit, but you should know the worst before you make up your mind. I want to bring your Mum and Angelina to El Paso. Connie too, if she wants to come, although she might find it boring.”

“Are you kidding?” Maria laughed. “Have you any idea how boring it is to be witty and charming in the company of drunk businessmen trying to get into your panties?” She got a wistful look on her face. “Momma could be the housekeeper and cook. She wouldn’t have to drag her tired ass from the office to the diner six days a week, just to put food on the table. And Angelina would look up to Penny and maybe decide that she should go to college too. Oh Andreas, it sounds too good to be real.”

Maria lived through the dream for the remainder of the journey. It was only when we had taken our luggage to our room and collapsed on the bed that reality hit. “There’s only one problem, Andreas, but it’s a biggy. A house for six adults and a seven-year-old is going to cost mega-bucks. I guess you had about fifteen hundred dollars in your money belt; that will hardly pay the rent for a month.”

“I think it’s time I told you the full story of Phil and me.”

Less than a year after I joined his company, Phil spotted my knack for finding unique solutions to engineering problems. It took a year or two after that for him to develop a strategy that worked for both of us. His first inclination, I am certain, was to squeeze me until I had no more to offer and then toss me aside. My guess is that Caroline made him consider holding back, extending my shelf life as an innovator. She was brought up to believe that the world owed her ease and comfort; her family had been exploiting the peasantry since before the Normans invaded.

Phil eventually presented me with the contract that gave me a ‘fair’ return on my inventiveness. At first, I believed that he was doing me a favor, but then I realized that for every penny I earned from a new idea he took two. It took me much longer to understand that without him, I might well have earned nothing from my skills. He set up the organization that took my raw ideas and nursed them through to patents that could be licensed to other engineering companies. For me to have taken that route on my own would have seriously reduced the time I spent solving problems.

Without the daily interaction with the real difficulties faced by me and the other engineers working alongside me, I would not have had the inspiration to develop new solutions. You cannot generate new ideas in a vacuum. Phil took care of the administration, leaving me free to devote myself to what I did best. He excused me from all the irritating paperwork that annoyed the other engineers; there was always someone else nominally in charge of the team I worked with, although everyone acknowledged that I was the man to go to, to find answers.

Everything worked well until Phil sold EI. Until then my salary was comparable with my fellows, but I was paid a hefty bonus cheque at the end of the year. The bonus included the license fees for the inventions used by EI and by some of our major customers. I saved the bonuses in a special account for family holidays and the purchase of big items like cars. The companies not covered by Phil’s agreement paid fees into an account in the Cayman Islands. I was making more than enough although I knew, of course, that he was making probably twice as much.

It was a symbiotic relationship. He made money from which he provided me with the atmosphere I needed to invent unique solutions. I was happy with the return I was getting, but that changed after Phil sold EI to a consortium about two years ago. When I discovered Susan had strayed, I made some changes to my bank accounts, but I would have honored my agreement at work if only the new bosses had understood what I was doing. I let things go for their first year in charge but when they paid me the same bonus as everyone else for the second year in a row, I had to act.

My solicitor, Larry Gardner, is an old pal from university and he confirmed that EI had broken the agreement with me. I had a broker who collected license fees on my behalf, so I set him to renegotiate my agreements, excluding EI from the discussions. The other thing I did while Maria was having her siesta the day before was to authorize the broker to initiate the new, much higher fee structure. Phil intends to use one of my patents in his new factory; he will receive an email in the next day or two announcing the increase in the cost.

“Give me a minute, Honey,” Maria asked. She had been holding both my hands in hers while I talked, and now she gave them a squeeze before letting them go and standing up. “It’s a lot to take in all at once. Let’s go and see this oversized hole in the ground.”

I had stood on Beachy Head, awed by the majesty of nature but nothing prepared me for standing on the South Rim of the Grand Canyon. The White Cliffs of Dover are like the downward equivalent of the Pyrenees - impressive, even majestic; Grand Canyon is the downward counterpart to Mount Everest. My mind went into fugue, leaving me without coherent thought. I remember thinking that skydivers would jump less distance above me than the Colorado River was below.

The chatter of the other tourists, and particularly the incessant taking of selfies, offended something in me. It seemed sacrilegious, like whistling in a cathedral during solemn mass. Then I slowly understood that it is just this attitude of irreverence even in the face of the might of nature that has enabled men to take control of the earth. We seek to reproduce the wonders of the world in Lego bricks. My feelings were much more mellow when Maria pulled my arm to bring me round for a scorching kiss.

She had been walking silently beside me holding my arm. “I have a lot of questions but there are two that really matter: How much? And, why me?” I steered her into the dining room, promising to answer once we had eaten. While we went through the routine of ordering, I smiled at her, remembering that she had called me ‘honey’, the first endearment either of us had used. Perhaps everything would work as I hoped.

“We can talk to my accountant tomorrow to get the exact figure, but my best guess is about half a million between the tax paid account in England and the untaxed cash in the Cayman Islands. My broker reckons that the new deal will be worth a million.” Maria put her index fingers together. “That’s a one with six zeroes, isn’t it?” As she spoke, she pulled her fingers apart to indicate the magnitude of the windfall. “That should certainly get us a home in El Paso.” I liked the fact that she called it ‘home.’ I did not deliberately mislead her.

“I’m still confused, Andreas. You are going to live in El Paso, so does that mean that you’re going to work for Philip after all he’s done to you?” I was struggling with the habits of a lifetime, so I used diversionary tactics. “I’m not going to take his offer of a stake in his business, but I don’t mind working with him as an independent consultant. He likes to be in charge and, to tell you the truth, he’s good at it. When he is in control, he’s a considerate, friendly boss.

“He’s a control freak.” Maria can be blunt.

“Well, there is that, but once he gains control, he is pleasant, even generous with his staff.” For most of the twenty-five years I have known him, Phil has been effortlessly in command of the situation. On perhaps a dozen occasions I have witnessed him establishing control, usually when he brought in a new company to the EI fold. During negotiations he would be persistent and ruthless until the opposition crumbled. Once his antagonist had ceded the victory, Phil became avuncular, welcoming the newcomer to his extended family.

Having his secretary bring coffee at the crucial moment may have been a ploy, but it was based on Phil’s genuine wish that everyone would kiss and make up – on his terms, of course. I often resented him as a man throughout the years I worked for him. It was only my recognition that I had to work for someone, that reconciled me to the role he assigned me. I may be the goose that lays the golden eggs, but I was shrewd enough to appreciate that I had to be fed the correct food.

“He’s a powerful force,” Maria mused. “Do you think you are strong enough to resist him, especially living in the same town?” I grinned at her. “I had serious doubts about that when I landed in Las Vegas, but now I have a new friend and I’m hoping she can match Phil force for force.”

“You’re insane!” Maria yelled, attracting the attention of the other diners. “Is this an example of you solving a problem by thinking outside the box? If it is, I have to say that I don’t think much of it.” I called for the bill, and we went outside to watch the sunset while she cooled off. Neither of us paid much heed to the wonders of nature, being lost in our own speculations. The main reason I do not explain my thinking to people is that it gets so complicated.

“For years Phil has cleared my path of obstacles,” I began when we returned to the room. “I was happy enough to let the situation persist even although there were some flaws. Things have changed in the last couple of years, and I need someone to replace him. That’s where you come in.”

“He has wealth and education for a start. I only have a school graduation certificate from high school. The only diploma I possess is as a croupier in Las Vegas. You must be mad to consider trusting a former hooker with a million bucks!”

“I made up my mind about you when you got us away from your Uncle Miguel. Any lingering doubts were removed when you extracted us from Phil’s lair. I would have had problems getting back inside after my tantrum, but you convinced him that you could cure my childish behavior. He’ll be eating out of your hand from now on – and you constructed your plan in less than five minutes. That’s the quality I’m looking for.”

“Ok, I’ll admit that I can read men, but you invent complex machines that I wouldn’t recognize if they bit me on the ass.”

“I’ve spent my whole life convincing people that I am not very clever. Now I desperately want you to believe in me and you think I’m mad. Perhaps it would help if I told you the things I have sneaked out of Phil’s control; it cost me enough money, God knows.”

I explained about Larry Gardner, my university friend who handles all my general legal affairs; his loyalty is to me. “He was Christened Lancelot, but he will thump anyone who calls him by that name; his older brother is Arthur, and his sister is Guinevere, if you can believe it! Then, I employ my own Patents Agent, a specialist lawyer who makes my ideas into iron-clad proof that I am truly the inventor. It takes years and costs a fortune to gain approval for a patent. Next, I insisted on having a broker although Phil found all the licensees in the early days; my man handled the returns too small to attract Philip’s attention.”

“It sounds as if you’ve done pretty well on your own, Andreas. So, why do you need me?”

“I need you to use your skill in reading people, stopping them from bothering me when I am thinking up a new device. I need you to save me from the kind of thing I have been doing for the past four, bloody hours – trying to push a rock up a hill using only my nose!”

Did I mention that I am not the most patient of men? Before I could storm out, as is my custom, Maria laughingly took me in her arms and covered my face with kisses. “I really do want to help you Andreas, Honey, and I am trying very hard to understand. There are so many questions racing round my head; can we pick it up again in the morning?”

We showered separately, cleaned our teeth and settled under the covers, her head on my shoulder while I massaged her scalp. The effect was immediately calming. We lay for many minutes, and I imagined that I could feel the bonds between us strengthening. I have watched her behave with complete indifference to both her uncle and Phil, rubbing her breasts and bum; she seems to be able to tune out her erogenous zones at will. And yet, when I gently massage her head through her hair, she melts into me as if we shared a common consciousness.

The next morning, I walked to the rim while Maria was getting dressed. The effect was still as overwhelming as it had been the night before. I could not discipline my mind into accepting coherent thought. The only similar experience I have had was lying in a dark oasis in Egypt, looking up at the heavens teeming with other galaxies, other suns. For the first time I understood the need that primitive man had to group the stars and give them names. To identify a cluster as ‘The Plough’, for example, brings the cosmic immensity under human control – the constellation becomes our familiar companion.

“Why did you let Phil rule you for so long?” Maria began the questioning as soon as we pulled out of the Grand Canyon Village. “Wrong question,” I laughed. “I was happy enough with what he was doing and might have carried on with the arrangement until I retired or died. I was forced to take action after he sold EI to a consortium.”

My contract of employment had clauses spelling out the deal I had made with Phil. When he sold the company, I was part of the assets. I am not sure if the new owners understood all the implications, but they purchased the right to use my inventions free of charge and to offer them at peppercorn fees to approved contractors. At the end of their first financial year when I was paid the same bonus as the other engineers, I thought it was probably due to teething troubles.

I was already making financial moves to prepare me for leaving my marriage once Mark was out of the house and it seemed sensible to accelerate my planning in case EI had deliberately underpaid me. Larry warned me that the terms of my contract were sufficiently vague that the company could pay me almost any bonus they chose. The only way to regain control was for me to resign, cancelling the contract.

In the meantime, my broker approached the firms offered special deals by Philip. They were happy enough to discuss terms since the present arrangement made their accountants uneasy, not to mention the Inland Revenue. The reduced fees for my inventions were a non-cash benefit which did not neatly fit into the company annual report. They will pay me higher fees, but all of the consideration will be tax deductible.