Chapter 4

The pair seated themselves on my couch. It was still the same one I’d salvaged, but I had my eye on a sectional after a few more paychecks and some money got shoved into savings.

I paced back and forth in front of them and then eventually I asked, “Why are you here? I told you I wanted nothing to do with any of you.”

Squire smiled, “We’re not going to let you abandon your children. The three of us will live together and raise them. We can pop out a few more too.”

“My children? What do you mean my children? I’ve never touched either of you.”

Tabby was very interested in the blue plush carpet, while Squire kept her eyes laser focused on me, “I know. You wouldn’t do it the right way, but Raven was all too happy to help.”

“What?”

“I paid her, she’d call you over and collect your essence and I used it to give Tabby and I the gift of life.”

“What the fuck?”

“Your children. Your wives. We can be a family again.”

“Tabby? I thought you went to the shelter?”

Squire answered, “Yeah, it took me two days to find her. I brought her home. She won’t leave us again.”

“There is no ‘us.’ You two were my sisters and you’re not even that.”

“We’re the mothers of your children.”

“I want a paternity test.”

“Ok. We can do that.”

“Can you come back later? Like a week? I need to work out some stuff.”

“Unblock our numbers and we’ll come back next week.”

I did. Tabby was quiet, beaten down metaphorically ... I had to wonder if she regretted it. Throwing me under the brush for that fucked up relationship. April had to have had a psychotic break or something. The incest was fucked up enough, but to steal my sperm and knock her and Tabby up? To abuse Tabby? This weird idea that we would raise those kids together ... it’s fucking insane.

After they’d left, I called my boss. We weren’t super close, but he’d taken a chance on me and we worked well together. I liked him. I dialed the number and waited for the answer, “Mark?”

“Bill. I need help.”

“Something at the shop?”

“No ... I need a lawyer. Maybe two. One that deals with custody and one with criminal law ... fuck maybe one that deals with civil suits too.”

“Are you in trouble or did you get a girl in trouble?” I never took Bill for being that old.

“It’s really too weird to go into. Suffice it to say, I’ve done nothing wrong, but I really want to protect myself from the fallout.”

“I can give you one name, Mike Carper. He’s a friend of mine. He spent a few years as an ADA, then did divorce work, and now he mostly does consulting work. He also owes me a few favors. I’ll give him your number.”

I got the call while I was at work the next day. I went to his office two days later. He wasn’t a young man, but he seemed put together. I did find it hard to believe that he spent much time in a courtroom with the long, unkempt beard. I explained the entire situation to him and he took notes. At the end of my info dump he asked, “And they’re really screwing?”

“I haven’t seen it, but seems that way.”

“And what do you want out of this?”

“I want them to keep the fuck away from me. I want a paternity test. If the buns are mine, I want custody. Ideally, I want something in writing to prevent me from going to jail if Tabby makes false claims again or when the law realizes I’m the father of my sisters’ kids.”

“That’s a tough one. Do you think you could get them to sign an affidavit regarding the fetus’s origins? And the prior false allegations against you? At the least, I can probably keep you out of jail on an incest charge with that. Having that on paper and video could help get a restraining order later and help with a custody battle. Are you sure you want custody?”

“If they’re mine? Yeah. They shouldn’t exist, but April seems unhinged and I don’t think that is a healthy environment for them to be raised in.”

“You’ve dealt with them the longest, do you have any idea what might make them confess on video or sign an affidavit to that effect?”