Chapter 6: Megan’s Mom

Karen Baranski wondered how her date was going to go. It had been three years since her husband Jerry had died of a heart attack; it had been over thirty since she had gone out on a date with a man other than him. In those three decades the dating world had changed utterly. It had been a long time since she had dated, and back then, it was the guys who chased the girls. The girls simply had to wait for a guy to come chasing. There were rules and techniques to make sure the right guy came chasing, and the chase was fun.

Now it seemed like everything had to be done with a smart phone. It was all about texting and apps, and she hated both. There were apps for guys who liked girls, girls who liked girls, guys who like guys – there were even apps for Martians who liked people from Neptune! There were probably apps for people who liked Uranus, and what a joke that was! She had learned to love that with her husband, but she wasn’t desperate enough to go searching for that app, at least not yet.

Why did Jerry have to die so young, she asked herself for the millionth time. Her husband had only been fifty-seven when he died three years ago. Worst of all, it was her fifty-sixth birthday. They had gone out to dinner, with Karen wearing a new sundress. It was light and airy, with spaghetti straps and a hem that came several inches above her knees. When they got home, he chased her into their bedroom and threw her on the bed as she laughed. She had been teasing him all night about her lack of a bra or panties, and as soon as his pants were off, he was on her and in her. She had enjoyed her sex life with Jerry immensely, and as soon as he came in her pussy it was her turn to be the aggressor. She had stripped off her dress and then finished undressing her husband. Pushing him onto his back, she had used her hands and lips to revive him for a second bout. She had been riding him, and they had both cum together a second time when he suddenly grabbed his chest. That was it. Thirty years of a gloriously happy marriage ended in an instant.

Karen had wanted to die when Jerry died, but that hadn’t happened. Her friends had surrounded her with love, and her daughter had come home to help. That had been a big surprise, since Megan’s love life had been a disaster for most of her life. Still, seven years ago Megan had finally met a man who didn’t beat her or torment her, and she had settled down happily. It was Megan who had convinced her to try a dating app. “Mom, you’re too young to roll over and die!”

She had tried one of the new social media apps on her telephone. Yes, she knew they weren’t new, but they were new to her. She tried it for a month but then unsubscribed. It just wasn’t for her. She couldn’t spend her life staring at a little screen looking for Mister Right when she was only finding Mister Right Now.

Finally, a friend at work had convinced her to try a blind date. She knew a man Karen’s age who was a widower; his wife had died a couple of years ago, and he was tentatively looking to begin dating again. Margie thought Ron and Karen would be a good match. Margie pushed so much that Karen acquiesced. Margie even agreed to introduce them. The following Friday, Margie had arranged for Ron, somebody she knew and trusted, to meet Karen at the Red Lobster on Wolf Road. Red Lobster was a mid-level chain restaurant on a well-traveled road; it was a safe location. She also ordered Karen to take something nicer to change into at the end of the day, something nicer than her regular work clothes of comfortable slacks, a plain blouse, and flat shoes.

Margie came to Karen’s office fifteen minutes before the end of the regular workday. “Okay. Work’s over. Go get your bag and change.”

“Margie!”

“No excuses. Did you bring it in this morning or is it still in your car?” Karen rolled her eyes and reached under her desk, to pull out a small bag. “Now, go change.” Margie moved Karen out of her office and herded her towards the ladies’ room.

Karen grumbled but went into a stall. Inside the bag was a pair of skinny jeans, a classy silk blouse, and some fresh lingerie. She stripped out of her work clothing and changed into the new outfit. She slipped on a pair of high-heeled pumps, closed her bag, and left the stall. At the vanity, she touched up her makeup and hair and rubbed a little Tropic Desire on because it simply smelled pretty. Megan had given her a tube a few weeks ago and told her it was a nice body lotion.

This was not how she would have dressed with her late husband. That would have been a pretty and sexy dress, along with thigh top stockings and stilettos. Date nights didn’t involve underwear; Jerry liked seeing her tits jiggle. She never wore pantyhose, at least not since Jerry had talked her into wearing stockings. He told her he liked the feel of them on her legs when they were having sex. She didn’t even own pantyhose.

When she returned to the office, Margie said, “Now that looks good! Let’s go. It’s only about ten minutes from here.” She led the way to the parking lot.

Once in the parking lot Red Lobster shared with The Olive Garden, Margie parked and walked over to where Karen parked. Karen was still sitting in her car, just staring out through the windshield. Margie tapped her window, startling her friend. Karen turned to face her and lowered her window. “I don’t think I can do this. It doesn’t seem right.”

Margie rolled her eyes and opened the door. “Roll up your window. You don’t want to leave your window down. Come on, get out. I need to go home and make dinner. Besides, it’s Friday night, so Bob is going to be looking for some fun and games of his own.”

It was Karen’s turn to roll her eyes. According to Margie, her husband Bob was always looking for some fun and games, and though she complained, she didn’t seem all that sincere. She tended to recount them the next day, in detail, and was all smiles when she did.

Margie tugged Karen out of her car and directed her towards the entrance. “Now, just remember, I’m only making the introduction. After that, I’m out of here.”

“What if he’s a creep? What if he’s just pretending to be a nice guy?”

Margie laughed loudly and kept pulling her friend towards the restaurant. “Trust me on this! He’s a nice guy!” She pulled the door open with her right hand and propelled Karen inside with her left. There was a small waiting area after a second door, and several groups were waiting for their tables. There was also a single man waiting, and his face lit up when he saw Margie.

Margie gently tugged her friend forward, and Karen found herself standing in front of him. The man was tall and handsome, but even more, he looked distinguished. He had a full head of wavy dark brown hair, though his temples were graying, and was dressed in a light gray suit, a white shirt, a dark blue tie, and black wingtips.

“Margie, so good to see you,” he said, though his eyes were on Karen. The woman with Margie was beautiful, tall and elegant; the tight pants showed a fantastic figure and great legs. And what was that amazing perfume? It was heading straight from his nose to a point several feet lower.

“Ron, this is Karen. Karen, this is Ron. Ron, Karen; Karen, Ron. Have fun! Bye!” And she was gone!

Karen’s jaw dropped as her friend scampered out of the restaurant. She turned back to her blind date and asked, “What just happened?”

“I think our friend set us up! That’s what happened!” he replied. He shook his head in disbelief. “Care for a drink? I think we both need one.”

“I think you’re right,” Karen agreed.

Ron turned to the hostess and asked to sit at the bar. She led them inside, where they settled onto barstools. He turned to Karen and said, “Let’s start this all over again. My name is Ron Darling, and I am pleased to meet you.”

“Karen Baranski.” Then she smiled and asked, “Your last name is Darling? Really? That must have been fun growing up.”

Ron grinned and answered, “You have no idea. Eventually I got too big to bully. My wife and I had to go to school several times to bail out our boys until they figured it out.”

“Your wife?”

He nodded, though he wasn’t smiling any longer. “I was married for thirty-three years before she died. That was two years ago. Margie said you’re a widow yourself.”

Karen nodded. “Yes. Three years ago. Jerry and I were married for thirty years.”

“I’m very sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you.”

The bartender came over and they ordered drinks. “Margie says you work with her in the Bursar’s Office at Empire State.”

Karen smiled. “Well, I work there. Nobody is really sure what Margie does.” Ron laughed at that. “She told me you were in sales. Where? Jerry was in sales, too.”

Ron stopped and stared. “Margie said I was in sales?” Karen, confused, nodded. “I suppose that’s true. I’m the pastor of Saint Timothy’s Evangelical Lutheran Church in Slingerlands.”

“You’re a priest?” exclaimed Karen. Since when did priests get married?

Ron smiled. “No, I’m a Lutheran pastor. Same idea, anyway, but we’re allowed to get married. Margie told you I was in sales?”

“Yes.”

“Well, when you kill her, I’ll handle the funeral. Once, after church, when it was pouring cats and dogs, she asked me if I had any pull with the man upstairs...” Ron pointed towards the ceiling. “ ... and I told her I was in sales, not management.”

Karen groaned. “That funeral is looking pretty good right about now.” Then she said, “I don’t think I’ve ever thought about a priest, I mean, a pastor being married.”

Ron smiled and shrugged. “You’re Catholic?”

“Yes.”

“You can blame the movies for that.”

“Huh?” Karen looked confused.

“All those movies from the Forties about the saintly priest who spends every waking moment doing good deeds and saving lost souls? They’re not exactly true. We actually have lives of our own,” Ron admitted.

Karen smiled. “Really?”

“When one of my parishioners sees me around town, maybe shopping or something, I’m probably wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Half the time they don’t even recognize me.”

“How do you become a pastor? Do you have to go to a seminary or something.”

“Exactly. It’s like going to grad school. Most Lutheran pastors need to have a bachelor’s degree in something and then attend a seminary. I went to one in Gettysburg.”

Karen started thinking. “Wait, how old are you, Ron? In your fifties?”

“Fifty-seven. Why?”

“I’m just trying to figure out the timeline.” She kept thinking for a moment. “So, your wife died when you were fifty-five...” Ron nodded. “ ... and you were married thirty-three years, so you got married at twenty-two.”

Ron smiled and nodded again. “Correct. Sally and I met when we were sophomores at Empire State and going for business degrees. We got married after graduation. The seminary was like going to grad school. We moved to Gettysburg and lived in an off-campus apartment. When I graduated and was ordained, we moved back here.”

“From business to being a preacher? That seems an odd progression.”

Ron shrugged. “Not as much as you think. Maybe I’m just too idealistic for business. A lot of what I was studying was just a legal way to take people’s money and hurt them. It was money and power, and the Devil take the hindmost. After I graduated, I decided my life needed to change. Sally agreed with me.”

“Huh. Sally, that was her name? What happened to her, Ron?” Karen asked.

“Cancer. Glioblastoma, specifically. It’s a very aggressive brain tumor. She was perfectly healthy but began having headaches. Then the headaches began getting worse and the aspirins and Tylenols and Advils weren’t working anymore. That was when we went to the doctor,” he said.

“And they couldn’t do anything for her?” asked Karen.

He shook his head. “Not really. Glioblastoma is very aggressive and fast, and it was inoperable. She died a year later.” He was quiet for a moment and then said, “I think the worst part was that at the end, as the tumor ate her brain away, it was like it was eating her away, her soul, her memories. She no longer remembered who I was, who her children were. It was almost a blessing when we had to put her on so much medication she was unconscious.” He was silent for another moment. “What about your husband? I think you said his name was Jerry?”

“He had a massive heart attack. He was gone by the time I got to the telephone.” Ron thought to himself that was a better way to go than the lingering death his wife had suffered, but he kept it to himself, even as he silently asked God for forgiveness. He almost missed Karen adding, “The worst part was that it was after we got home from going out to dinner for my fifty-sixth birthday.”

“So now your birthday is a reminder of your husband’s death,” Ron said.

“Yes.”

“Good Lord!”

Karen shrugged. “Think we can have dinner?” Anything to forget that reminder of that awful night.

“Yes.” Ron went to the hostess and asked for a booth. A minute later they were led to a booth and given menus.

“Margie said you tried some of those dating apps. Did you like that?” Karen asked.

Ron gave her a wry smile and shrugged. “Not particularly. Maybe if I was just looking for a random hookup, I think that’s what they call it, anyway. No, I wasn’t thrilled, especially when one woman I swiped right for informed me of her hourly rate.”

Karen’s eyes popped open. “You’re kidding me! She was a hooker?”

“I think the polite term is escort, but that’s it. At that point I just deleted the app and killed the account. The Church Council would not be happy with their pastor seeing an ... escort.” He grinned and said, “Margie said you tried apps, too. Anybody offer their services on an hourly basis?”

“Oh my God! That’s all I need! A gigolo? Do they charge by the hour or by the inch?” Then Karen’s mouth snapped shut as she realized what she had just said.

Ron began laughing. “I would love to see the ad for that.”

She blushed. “Let’s just say I wasn’t impressed by the sites. I ended up texting with one guy who wanted to take me to dinner at Jack’s Diner, because it was just a few blocks away from a Motel 6.”

“Classy! Now I know why asking Margie for help was a step up,” he laughed.

“And the escort was why you asked her for help?” asked Karen.

“I think it was more because I was getting hit on by some of my parishioners.”

Karen’s eye popped open again. “No!”

“Both single and married. Think that might have caused problems with the Church Council? No way does that end up well.”

“Yikes!”

Dinner proved both enjoyable and entertaining to both Karen and Ron. They both agreed that Margie had done the right thing by introducing them, and that Margie needed serious punishment for the stunt with declaring Ron a salesman. Ron asked Karen out the next Friday, and she agreed. Then they separated after Ron kissed Karen on the cheek.

When she got home, Karen Baranski took a quick shower as she thought about her date with Ron Darling. She’d had more fun with him than she’d had since her husband died. She dried off and popped the top on the tube of Tropic Desire body lotion on the vanity. She squirted some on her hand and then rubbed it on. Then she pulled on her normal sleep attire of a t-shirt and jogging shorts. She smiled as she remembered what she had worn while Jerry was still alive, which was a short satin sleep shirt. It was easy for her husband to unbutton it when he was feeling horny, which was almost every night.

She climbed into bed and tried to get to sleep, but sleep wasn’t forthcoming. For the first time in three years, she felt... horny! She reached over and turned on the lamp on her nightstand and then rolled upright. She opened what she and Jerry had called ‘the toy drawer’ and looked inside. She blushed seeing the small collection of vibrators inside and pulled them out. One by one she tested them but was unsurprised when none of them worked. It had been years since she had even touched them, and the batteries were probably dead. She did have a couple of buttplugs that Jerry had given her to warm her up on a big night, but she always prepared ahead of time for that.

She put everything aside for inspection the next day and lay back on her bed. Pushing her shorts down, she smiled. It was time for some old school fun and games; smiling to herself, she pushed her fingers between her legs.

Ron Darling went home and thought about his date with Karen Baranski. She was so beautiful, but even more, she was so nice. She was simply a nice person, and he was looking forward to their next date. He even liked that floral scent she had been wearing. When he first noticed it, he had immediately popped a boner that he prayed she didn’t notice; he hadn’t been aroused like that in almost three years. He went into his bathroom and after undressing, decided a cold shower was in order. Then he chickened out on the self-torture. He took a regular shower and jerked off under the hot water, twice.

The morning after their first date, Karen had thrown out all her old vibrators. Several had corrosion from old batteries, and the rest simply failed to turn on. Then she sat down with her phone and discovered that Amazon even sold sex toys. She bought a new vibrator that promised to be ‘7” of Pulsing Pleasure’ that had eight different speeds and vibrating modes. It didn’t even need batteries; it came with a USB cable that allowed it to be recharged. The amazing thing was that with Amazon Prime, it would arrive by Monday. Her self-pleasure needs would be solved in forty-eight hours.

The act of ordering a vibrator made Karen think hard about her next date with Ron Darling. Their first date had gone very well, and that coming Friday he was going to come to her home and pick her up. Simple courtesy meant she was going to invite him inside, and the very idea was exciting to her. She looked around and realized she hadn’t had anybody in the townhouse since Jerry’s death except Megan and Margie. It wasn’t dirty, not really, but it needed a good cleaning.

After dressing and having breakfast, Karen called her daughter and asked her to come over to help. Megan laughed but promised to be over around lunchtime. Until then, Karen began cleaning, starting with the bathrooms, and then proceeding to her bedroom. That was where Megan found her, dusting and trying to organize some piles of bedding in the corner. “Hi, Mom. Getting ready for your new boyfriend?”

“Megan!”

“Just saying, you want to get everything clean for Friday night. You don’t want to frighten him away.”

Karen gave her daughter a dry look. “What happens Friday night is none of your business.”

“So, you don’t want my help?” She ignored her mother’s protest and added, “Don’t forget, when you shower and get ready for your date, you need to clean up that, too.”