Chapter 4

The time with Suzanne when Andrew would try and dominate her was always nerve wracking for him. It did not come naturally to him and the perpetual worry of missteps, for example the whole sending pictures of her to a men’s magazine fiasco, was always on his mind. And the thing was he did want to dominate her, because he knew how much it would resonate inside her, how much she wanted it, but he was unsure how to. Again, it was not innate within him.

But through luck, and Suzanne’s submissive need, that first part of the night worked perfectly. They left Leslie and Julian not too late and Suzanne all but skipped up the street beside him. Andrew so wanted to make the rest of the night as good for her as the evening so far and was, as usual, overthinking it. They were walking quietly but it was a loud silence. It all changed when they got to the flat. Rather than head to the bedroom he led her to the living room, stripped quickly and just pushed Suzanne over the arm of the sofa. Andrew flipped the little sun dress up over her arse and sank balls deep into her. But what made it memorable, even more than the view forever imprinted on his mind, was her equally fervent reaction. One word endlessly drawn out. ‘Yes’ with about 50 esses. Time stood still and raced ahead all in the same moment. That they lasted even 20 seconds was a miracle and within a minute Andrew was slumped over her back, his hands on the cushions to stop him from crushing her. Recovering first he pulled her up, unzipped the dress and pulled it up and off her.

“Go and get your cuffs, quickly now.”

Andrew sent Suzanne on her way with a sharp smack to her arse. He thought for a moment she was going to stand there to get another smack but she ran off to their room to find the cuffs. He grabbed a cushion off the sofa and threw it on the ground at his feet. When Suzanne came through he took the cuffs and pushed her onto her knees in front of him.

“Hands above your head. I better be hard by the time the cuffs are on.”

Andrew took his time buckling the two cuffs to her wrists. He was pretty well recovered before Suzanne even started but by the time the two cuffs were snug around her wrists he was ready to go again. Pulling her to her feet Andrew spun her round. She had her arms folded behind her back waiting to be clipped in without prompting and they both knew the symbolic importance of the clicks. The sound the little clip made as first one and then the other cuff was attached to the eyelets sewn on the back of the playsuit. Two small sounds echoed through the room and through them both as well. The height of the sofa was all wrong. Andrew picked up the cushion off the floor and led Suzanne into the dining room. He flung the chair out of the way, folded the cushion across the edge of the table and bent Suzanne into place. A dam had broken inside him and he wanted to, no he needed to, fuck Suzanne hard. He needed the resistance of the table as he pounded away.

The next few minutes were a blur. When Andrew came he sank to his knees behind her, his forehead resting on Suzanne’s arse cheek. He struggled to his feet, blinking away tears as he helped Suzanne to her feet and unclipped her arms. She was teary-eyed as well and they held each other as the raw edge of their emotions faded. Eventually Andrew reached round and undid the two buckles holding the playsuit in position letting it fall to the ground between them. After a two minute shower to wash the worst of their excesses off they crawled into bed, damp and shattered. Sleep claimed them. When he awoke Suzanne was staring at him her head resting on her hand.

“How can you say you are not a dominant after all that?”

Andrew focused on Suzanne and realised they were having a serious conversation immediately. He shook the sleep from his mind and tried to marshal his thoughts. Suzanne stepped into the pause.

“Andrew, my god. It was wonderful. It was loving, it was commanding, I had no idea what was happening, you just took me, did what you wanted with me. It was incredible.”

Suzanne’s eyes were already glistening. Andrew got his brain engaged finally.

“I worried the whole way home about getting it right. I wanted to make it as good for you as possible. But that is the difference Suzanne. I did it for you not for me. And I also had so much frustration and annoyance at the way the summer has panned out. I took it out on you, on your body. I love the playsuit, I love how it makes you feel. I love what it symbolises for both of us. That was also part of it. You have been to Julian and Leslie’s many times, wearing nothing more than a bra, skimpy knickers and the same kind of dress. It is the summer and it is no big deal. But yesterday you were ridiculously sexy. Ridiculously. And it was all in your mind. Julian didn’t know that you had no underwear, although I saw that you wasted no time in telling Leslie.”

Suzanne smiled guiltily.

“You were supremely happy, you were turned on and you weren’t glowing so much as you were incandescent. But I don’t need to dominate you. I don’t want to make you unhappy or spoil the morning after a wonderful evening but we both know it is true. When a combination of luck and circumstance align then something like last night can happen. But you know my true nature is this.”

Andrew pulled himself up the bed until he was leaning against the headboard. Suzanne straddled him and they made love gently. She couldn’t stifle all the tears.

“I thought for just one night that I might be able to have it all.”

Andrew held her in his arms for a long time. He could feel the sadness coming off her in waves.

“Come on let’s go and swim.”

Suzanne pulled him off the bed and made Andrew go with her to the pool. He showered there while she returned to the flat. He had the coffee ready when she left the bathroom but instead of going to their room to get dressed she walked into the dining room. There was always one strap that left a mark under her left breast but other than that her skin was flawless. Andrew stared unashamedly and Suzanne came and sat in his lap.

“Thank you for yesterday. I thought about it, replayed it all in my mind as we swam. And I got it. It was one little thing but a true dominant would never have brought the cushion through for the table. He or she would have bent me over it and fucked me just the way you did. But they wouldn’t have worried about the mark, about my comfort. It is those tiny little things that mean I can’t refute what you say. You can be dominating occasionally, maybe play at being dominant is the better way of saying it, but you are right, you are not a natural dominant, are you?”

It was rhetorical.

“But you are also the most generous and giving man. Even when I am doing my damnedest to get you to just take. And I love you for that.”

They kissed for a long time.

“So I am fine. I just needed to process it all.”

“What about the rest of the week. You said you wanted to ‘play’ this week. Do you want to stop?”

She looked at him in surprise.

“You will still keep trying?”

“If you would like me to. I don’t want to upset you but if you want to have a couple days of playing to, I don’t know, get it out of your system, have some memories for long lonely nights in Inverness, whatever you want. I will do whatever I can to make the week whatever you want it to be.”

Suzanne nearly pushed the chair over she kissed him so hard.

“All week definitely.”

“It won’t make next week worse?”

“Probably but you are right I do need to get it out my system. All week.”

Andrew smiled. And took her coffee cup from her and placed it on the table.

“Go and pee. Every last drop you can squeeze out, then come to the bedroom.”

When she came through from the bathroom he was rigging clips and chains to the corners of the bed.

“Put your cuffs on again. Ankle and wrists this time.”

Suzanne watched Andrew closely as he went to each corner and attached the necessary lengths of chain. He also took an old bedspread and folded it half and laid it in the very centre of the bed, lengthways. Suzanne stood silently waiting for him to finish. He checked the tightness of the four cuffs. The ankles were fine, they normally were, but one wrist was too loose the other too tight, tightening them one handed was always a challenge. Before Suzanne lay down Andrew put the blindfold over her eyes but immediately pulled it up like a headband. It was for later.

Positioning Suzanne and then adjusting the lengths of chain so that she was secure but not stretched tight took a few minutes. When he secured three of the cuffs Andrew attached clips on the chains to the cuffs on the outside of them. There was no way Suzanne could remove them. But for the fourth chain he attached the clip not to the eyelet on the outside of the cuff but to the, normally unused, eyelet on the inside. There was a fraction more give to the chain as well so that Suzanne could use her thumb and move her wrist sufficiently to unclip herself, and then be able to free herself if needed. Andrew showed her and had her show him back.

“I am meeting Brian Campbell for lunch and am going out shortly. I will be away for four hours. You are going to be tied up here thinking the whole time what I am going to do to you when I get back.”

The enormity of four hours sunk in. Andrew pulled the blindfold down over Suzanne’s eyes. Her rapid breathing was doing wonderful things to her chest.

“Lying here. All alone. Helpless. And Suzanne? I know how fundamental this is to you. I don’t want to disappoint you. Think about that as you lie there in the dark, no concept of time. Just think about how much you mean to me, how I don’t want to disappoint you and then shiver as you think what the big old brain is going to come up with when I return.”

A gulp was his only response.

“If you mentally have to shout ‘Paula’ show me that you can undo the cuff while wearing the blindfold.”

She quickly unhooked her wrist so he knew that she could escape if she needed to.

“It is 10.30. For the next four hours this is your world. Lie here and think about what is going to happen when I return. What am I going to do to you?”

Andrew went to the bathroom and returned with a bottle of baby oil. Her squeal when the cold liquid splattered on her chest made him smile. He ignored her arms but oiled her thoroughly, nay excessively, from neck to knees. She absolutely glistened.

“Tense your tummy you fucking Amazon.”

Suzanne couldn’t restrain the smile as she heard the approval in his voice. Using one finger Andrew oiled every inch of her toned torso. Bloody hell he was going to need a cold shower before leaving. Finally, with a single oiled finger Andrew very gently teased Suzanne’s pussy. He delicately oiled her lips, he even, with the faintest of touches, oiled her clit, before slowly slipping a finger into her sloppy pussy. Suzanne’s hips rose to maximise the contact and he allowed her a second of pleasure. Then he pulled it out and put it to his lips. My she was tasty.

“Well that should keep you nicely on the boil for a few hours. I am off to meet Brian and I should be back by 2.30. Sweet dreams.”

Andrew closed the bedroom door and then the front door behind him. He was nearly run over twice on the walk into town. Oddly enough he was distracted. It was great to see Brian, Andrew really missed their chats. With him being away at university the frequency would have fallen anyway but his guilt about Mary still hung over everything. But the two of them caught up. Andrew told Brian about closing on the office building at last and negotiating the leases so that he had a year to figure out whether he was going to use the space.

“It is only 800 square feet over the two floors. Still way more than I would need but it will let me grow, and Leslie will have an office to use if she is ever down in London on business. Come to think of it you could use it as well. Two blocks east of Regent Street.”

Brian looked taken aback.

“That is nice and central. When do you move in?”

“Next summer. The existing tenants have until the end of June and then I will get it cleaned up over the summer. I get the keys to the house in a couple of weeks so you can stay there, use one of the many rooms as an office in the meantime.”

“You don’t mind me working out of your house?”

“Brian, I will be there for an occasional weekend during first term, a couple of weeks at Christmas and then the same during second term and Easter break. Less than 40 days in six months. Of course I am okay with you using it. Hell you were generous enough to let me buy it all those years ago. You saying you would buy it if I didn’t was the clincher. You are always welcome there.”

Brian blinked and looked nonplussed. His next words were soft.

“I thought that we would start to drift apart.”

“I would be very sad and unhappy with myself if I ever let that happen. You more than any other individual is responsible for the success that we had. Stop. Yes you are. I started my business education with you before my 14^th birthday. How many times did I pick your brain, drag you along to meetings, impose upon your goodwill. You did none of the coding but you encouraged the dream, the outrageous ideas, even the horribly mercenary pricing. I have a debt to you that years will not repay.”

Andrew didn’t expect to pulled up and hugged. It looked like Brian was as surprised as he was.

“Thank you for those kind words. Overly generous in my estimation but I can see you mean every word. I would like to stay in your house this autumn. I am not scheduled to be in London until after the summer and if you are not there during the week then it would be perfect.”

They ate some food and let their emotions settle.

“Have you been up to anything else?”

“I would like to have one of those structure-less conversations that I often had with you. Blurt out all my thoughts, have a bit of a brain dump.”

Brian smiled and gestured ‘bring it on’.

“The four years of school were frenetic, without question too busy but I feel like I tried to make a difference. Not in Faith’s Trust that is obvious. But Leslie, Julian and I tried to do something about the economic news that we heard. And now it has grown and thrived. Leslie was telling us about the impact of the sale of Forres Energy Services on the Trust’s reputation and credibility. But two things nag at me. The first is that I have not invested a lot of time in that Trust and although it was my idea which within days became our idea, I have done nothing since. Mhairi and Creighton joke about me turning up and having an insane idea and then making work for other people for the following six months. I don’t feel like I have any follow through. Before Leslie graduated the investment meetings would take a full week, then it was three days, then two and now it is one day every six months. I feel like I am coasting. And the other thing is I have not made much of an effort in the last three, even four years. So a guilty conscious. And I didn’t recite all that for you to tell me how wonderful I am. I feel I have created a lot of work for other people.”

Brian smiled and swallowed a mouthful of beer.

“What you say is 100% true. And it is also 100% false. Just the Duncan Street office alone has what, 10 people employed? Eight plus Leslie and Julian. All of these people are being paid. You created employment. The purpose of the trust was and is to create job opportunities in Scotland and Northern England. Just administering that has created more jobs.”

He stopped and smiled sadly.

“Mary asks about you and what you are doing all the time. I know that neither Julian nor Leslie talk about it with you but it is true. One of the things that they have mentioned when we are laughing about your crazy life is how creative you are. Now Leslie was talking about it in the context of some of the more daring modelling shoots that you told her about. But it is true. She has repeated what you told her. You have a creative streak, a substantial one. And in a completely different context that is what you did with first the People’s Fund and then the Endowment Trust. I was watching a film one evening and I remember someone being described as the ‘ideas man’. That is the perfect description for you. You have these ideas. None of them are necessarily earthshattering but they are the right thing at the right time or they resonate somehow. Look at the Property Fund. You took a comment from Suzanne and talked about it and suddenly we have a Property Fund. Everyone who invested could have had that idea, it was not ground-breaking but you had the idea but also mentioned it. What was the one Leslie mentioned? The scarves. From a Royal Opera House poster outside a rock venue that turned into a shoot for Hermès. That is what you are very good at.

“So don’t stress about your first worry, people are genuinely excited to hear the next thing that you come up with. Look what it has done for all these people. Creighton is more successful than his father, Mhairi was a partner before she turned 30, Doug has all but adopted Leslie and the two of them are like two peas in a pod. And six other people are working at something I hope they enjoy and being well paid. As for the second one you need to give your head a shake. You are top of your class, or damn close, at the University of Cambridge. You still volunteer and you have the raciest holiday job that anyone has ever heard of. You take two weeks off every summer and that is to catch up with everybody here in Edinburgh, see your grandmother. What more can you do, what more do you need to do? Each of you ended up ‘giving away’ £8.7m through the way you structured the company, deliberately. You then really did give away £1m to the what started as CMS but ended up as the Venture Endowment Fund. So you have funded a legacy that will still be going strong with your grandchildren, have made an effort, successfully, to support new businesses, and that is before we talk about the science and engineering teaching that Leslie is trying to get set up with this bus idea. Medical research, support for start-up businesses and support of science generally. Leave something for other people.”

Andrew sighed.

“I have been having a lot of these thoughts recently with the context of my career. Trying to make a difference with Jullesand looming over me is proving to be a challenge. You are right, I gave away more than a third of the money that I personally received for all my computing. I do need to settle down and not think that I have too much money and that I need to do something.”

“It is not an exact comparison but it is like being the son of a famous person, a politician, a movie star, a sports figure. You are always compared to your famous parent, especially if you try and follow in his or her footsteps. In your case you are comparing yourself to you. You talk about old Andrew versus new Andrew. It is time to introduce the new, new Andrew, the super-duper Andrew.”

They both laughed but at the absolute core of what they talked about it was totally accurate. Andrew had to accept and embrace what he had, what he had achieved already and not measure himself endlessly against it. There was only unhappiness down that route. He needed to challenge himself in the coming years but he needed to take on personal challenges not take on the world. Andrew thanked Brian and promised to do it again in September.