Chapter 1

I never thought this would be a possibility for me. Something so forbidden and gross to me could be a part of a sexual experience I’ll never forget.

My name is Becky. I’m not special by any means. I’m successful in business, as a female owner of a large construction company but it has become my whole life. It eats me alive, and I have to say as much as I own the success I’ve achieved, it’s also owned me for 10 years. It cost me a husband I loved, most likely the ability to have a family because of my age, and the attitude needed to have employees that like me. My business was unstoppable, my personal life could be filed under disastrous.

My ex-husband was a fantastic guy who loved me deeply. We were married for 12 years. In the beginning, we were in the honeymoon phase for at least a year. We couldn’t keep our hands off of each other. It was a fuck feast every day. Even busy workdays. We relieved the tension by fucking the living daylights out of each other. It was wonderful. Brian was a wonderful lover. He brought me flowers, never forgot an anniversary, and always arranged weekend getaways for us to take a break. For 9 years, we were happy. Brian was a financial investor, and I worked as an accountant at my father’s and brother’s construction company. A company my father started 35 years ago. It was a very successful company, winning many awards for employee diversity, safety, and other awards for philanthropy. My dad was proud of all of us. He put all three of us through college. He even put me through the extra year for me to be a CPA. My brothers both had business degrees. All four of us were in the office, but we visited sites all the time.

After 7 years of employment with my dad and brothers, tragedy hit. My dad and brothers were coming back to the office in my dad’s Cadillac when a drunk driver crossed all four lanes and hit the car my family was in head-on at 80 mph, killing everyone in the car. My mother had died of breast cancer when I was in High School. She was diagnosed in December and the cancer was so advanced that she died by June. We were devastated. My dad could barely go to work. My brothers were in college and considered quitting to come home to take over for Dad until he was over his grief. He told them absolutely not. “Your Mom and I saved money so you could all go to college. I won’t let your mother’s wish die with her. Stay in school. I’ll figure this out and learn how to live without her.” Said my very determined dad. There was no going against Dad, his word had always been the law. Mom had been the enforcer though. She could wield a wooden spoon faster than Billy the Kid. She was quick and could catch you even if you ran. As we got older, she still was the enforcer, but with things like taking away your car keys. But when she got sick, we all became angels for her. We were told she wouldn’t live long because of the spread of the cancer. She did one round of Chemo and radiation. She had a mastectomy in hopes of slowing down the cancer. It may have bought her a couple of months at most. I’m not sure the surgeries and chemo did anything. She was 88 pounds when she died. When she was healthy, she weighed 125 pounds. The cancer ate her alive.

So now I’m it. The accident happened 3 years ago. After long hours trying to learn everything about the business my dad opened so many years ago, my marriage started to suffer. I was always at the office. Now that I was CEO, 14 or even 16-hour days were the norm. My husband started wondering what I looked like because he saw me so little. I would try to meet him for dinner but the meeting I was at would run long and he ended up leaving the restaurant after one drink. I was working 7 days a week too. There was just no time for us. I couldn’t let the business go under; I was a fighter. I was going to save my dad’s company no matter what. Unfortunately, after 3 years of my husband trying to save our marriage and my blindness to how my work ethic was affecting my marriage things started to collapse. Our next-door neighbor was a widow. She was younger than us. Her husband had been killed in Afghanistan. Brian started doing little jobs around her house because she had no one to help her. She would invite him over to help with something and then feed him a home-cooked meal. I guess you can figure out where things went from there. He wrote me a letter saying he had found someone else who cared for him. He said he still loved me. But he gave me three years to change things so we could go back to our wonderful marriage. One that could have lasted a lifetime has been completely wrecked by my need to make the company more successful. He said he sympathized with losing the father and brothers she loved. But your desire to make the company much more successful has cost you and me a marriage.