Chapter 30: Willie’s Backyard

A couple of days before the parking lot incident, Willie was enjoying her weekly cigarette on the backyard patio of her home. She owned the nearly identical house adjoining Mia and Gabe’s two-bedroom bungalow.

Earlier in her life, she got addicted to cigarettes after too much exposure to the smoke clouds in the girls’ bathroom in her high school. The local community, which is located in a tobacco-growing region of North Carolina, had done a terrible job of discouraging smoking among their young people. Retailers made almost no effort to restrict cigarette purchases by the underaged including, unfortunately, 16-year-old Willie.

Seventeen years later, she was enjoying her thirteenth year of nicotine freedom. Except, she still missed smoking, so she allowed herself three packs a year of her favorite menthol brand, and on warm Sunday nights she would go outside to her lounging chair to enjoy that week’s one permitted cigarette.

It was about 9:30, and the full moon was lighting up her backyard lawn from over her shoulder, and the warm, calm air felt lovely on her skin. She had stubbed out her cigarette, and over the rushing sound of their spa’s jets, she could hear fragments of incoherent conversation from next door.

It was the one thing she disliked about hanging out on her patio; she was so jealous of Mia’s new spa. For the hundredth time, she criticized herself for not being courageous enough to beg her neighbor for a chance to soak. They were friendly enough, having met while tending the flowers and bushes in their front yards.

But gorgeous and curvy Mia was married, and she knew Gabe was (a) devoted and (b) powerful. Judging by his physique, Willie was sure he could snap her like a twig if he was sufficiently angry at her. Like for making a pass at his super-hot wife. Gabe was a teddy bear in reality; he would never do such a thing. But Willie didn’t know that, and this was one of the few times when she felt inhibited and didn’t approach her neighbor despite her temptation.

Her cigarette was out, it was time to go inside. Except, what is this?

A woman was climbing over her back fence from a property on the next street over. She was clearly strong and agile enough to clamber over the top rail drop onto Willie’s side, after checking around quickly to see if she was alone. Willie was not very visible, shaded from the moonlight by an awning over her patio.

Satisfied that she was alone, the woman pushed her pants down and squatted on the grass for a quick pee. Willie’s eyes were wide. When she stood up and reset the waist of her pants, the woman was visibly startled.

“Now that you’re finished, please come here and sit with me.”

Not visible in the low silvery moonlight, the woman’s face went tomato red. She stumbled over the lawn looking into the gloom behind the house. When her eyes adjusted, she saw a woman in her late-twenties, maybe older, a little chubby, wearing a huge smile but nothing else.

“C’mon, sit there, I don’t bite. Usually. I’m Willie Simmons, Notorious Lesbian, and that’s my property you were pissing on. And you are?”

“I’m Tricia Larkin, um, Secretive Bisexual, and I’m very sorry for leaking on your lawn. I just suddenly needed relief.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I don’t have a dog anymore, and I know it takes a lot more urine than that to damage my turf. Tricia, why are you climbing over my back fence? Are the cops chasing you?”

“No, nothing like that. But private security has been chasing me, it’s a long story. But don’t worry, at the very most, they only know that I’m in your town. Nobody is following me tonight. They won’t be catching you with no clothes on.”

“Oh, you noticed. In my yard, well, in my house, too, I don’t bother. It’s bad enough that I have to put shit on when I’m in public.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I think you would get a lot of appreciative looks. That’s quite a body you have there.”

“The light out here must be worse than I thought. You’re just seeing things.”

“Bull. Shit. I wish my tits looked so delicious. Did you miss the bisexual part?”

Tricia, still nervous about being caught while trespassing, decided it would be good to distract Willie. She tugged her polo shirt over her head, spun her bra around and unhooked it, and dropped her garments on a nearby table.

“See what I mean?”

“No, actually, yours are totally delicious. Tasty treats, I would say.”

“Oh, wow. It’s been a while for you, hasn’t it?”

“Four months, but who’s counting? You probably have more opportunities than I have with your choice of genitalia.”

“No, I’ve been, well, that’s another long story. Many months for me, too. Many, many months.”

“Oh, don’t get upset, Tricia. Come inside with me, I’ll make us some tea. I want to hear all your long stories.”