Chapter 1

The thing that had changed the most over the previous two or three years was Andrew’s tolerance for his own angst. Where once upon a time he would have endlessly agonised over something, now he got fed up with listening to himself. So it was from Boxing Day forward; the whole previous eight days seemed to have been one long drama and once again Edinburgh was becoming synonymous with it. There was nothing he could do with his family and it was time to move on. Andrew wasn’t rude to his Grandma but he was blunt with her, he had no interest in hearing about the shitshow that was the family Christmas Day. Andrew spent time with her and took her into the centre of Edinburgh so she could hunt for some bargains in the sales. She met up with her daughter, his Aunt Davina, and Andrew was able to escape. He would see her on the Sunday when he got back from Glasgow.

But as he walked up to Tony’s shop Andrew also realised that his relationship with Tony and Maggie had a lot to do with it as well. Despite the amounts being invested, and the money the businesses were generating, there was a lightness to the relationship. And it was because of their bizarre three-way. Andrew was smiling as he walked past the Library, was Maggie, and photographing her naked, the secret to getting him to calm down. But that was unfair to her. Yes, it was no hardship to photograph her but it was their friendship that mattered, Maggie’s exuberance, Tony’s quiet common sense. Andrew was still smiling when he got to the store. And apparently it was contagious, both Elspeth, in helping for a couple of days, and Tony were also grinning widely. He nodded with his head.

“She is through the back.”

Maggie didn’t look sad but did look a bit sheepish. Andrew pulled her into a hug for a change. He could feel her relax in his arms.

“I got a bit carried away on Christmas Eve.”

“So. Do you know what the only problem was? There was nobody waiting for me at home.”

“I always used to marvel at your iron control, I was never sure what you were feeling or thinking.”

They were standing making tea for everyone.

“It has changed. It wasn’t that I didn’t think of you as a woman, a model with this incredible sexy body. But you were my friend Maggie and for the longest time you were careful how you posed naked. But I have to confess as you have embraced posing in this more, whatever the right word is, uninhibited way maybe, that has changed for me too. And after Tuesday night I would have to be made of stone not to have been turned on by it.”

Maggie rested her head against his shoulder.

“I can understand that. We bought a dildo when we were in Amsterdam, although not as thick as that one.”

She didn’t sound upset at her new toy.

“I wanted to do a shoot like that, for at least six months. It just never seemed to be the right time.”

They carried the tea through to the four people working in the shop, before retreating to the darkroom.

“A lot of the shoots, I make the suggestions, the beaches, castles, construction equipment, things like that. I didn’t know that this was high up your fantasy list.”

The worked away developing the four rolls of film.

“There is one thing I would like to ask you. Where does it end Maggie?”

They had not yet reached the stage where the darkroom was in red light, Maggie could see his face and she knew what he meant. She sighed.

“It is too easy in some ways Andrew. Tony encourages me, I know that he loves it too, you never judge me and if anything just egg me on. When I was modelling the fantasies were all based around the things I would never do. But really that was just open leg modelling, it was never more defined than that. And for the last two years it has been like that. I think the first time was up at the beach at Morar, well in the rocks, but that day. And since then it has been ever more explicit. If you had asked me three years ago if we would be developing pictures like these with me as the model it was inconceivable. I would have been upset at anybody for thinking that I could do that. And now look at me.”

She helped Andrew remove the negatives and hang them up to dry.

“Once I had finished assaulting Tony we lay on the bed and talked about it. Trying to understand why you being there was such a turn on, for both of us. That is the part neither of us can really explain or understand. It wasn’t like I hadn’t played with the dildo before, he had watched me, he had filmed it, never mind photographed it. But doing it in front of you? It was better. It is an odd thing to say but our sex is better after one of these sessions. And it is not like it is crap when you are away during term.”

Andrew bit the bullet.

“Are you going to want me to photograph you and Tony having sex?”

That Maggie didn’t immediately answer was an answer in and of itself.

“I think that we are wrestling with that. Mostly no, but there is no point in lying, at least a small part of both of us are intrigued by the idea.”

“Is that because I never say no?”

A considered silence.

“No doubt.”

Andrew instinctively came to a decision, surprising himself with the speed he reached it.

“Well I think I am setting a limit for myself. I don’t think I want to watch, never mind film, two of my best friends having sex. And even as I am saying that, it feels right to me. So there is my limit. I am fine repeating Tuesday and there are obviously one or two grey areas beyond that but we are nearing my limit.”

Maggie mechanically moved prints between the developing trays as she thought about what Andrew said.

“Do you know what, I like the way you say that it feels right. And thank you for being discreet about the grey areas. Beyond Tuesday is different and so I am pleased we have talked about this. I will talk to Tony tonight but having a framework, and a hard stopping point, will be good for us. When I fuck Tony it will just be the two of us.”

Maggie’s sigh was an exhalation of relief. But then her natural exuberance returned.

“Of course, that means you still get to fire us up.”

Maggie pointed to a freshly printed photograph.

“We need to plan an outdoor shoot and bring the toys.”

They both laughed. After hanging all the prints to dry they went back through to the shop, but it was a day for exuberant women hugging Andrew and so Maggie helped with the customers while Elspeth dragged Andrew through the back and hugged him. She was bubbling with excitement.

“You are going to cost me a fortune Andrew.”

He looked confused.

“The children are going to need therapy if we carry on the way we are. We woke them on Christmas Eve. My 17 year old son woke up to his mother telling his father to. Well you can guess what I was telling him to do. It was the funniest Christmas ever. Donnie says thank you for his Christmas present.”

Elspeth finally stopped her stream of consciousness and took a breath.

“Two years ago, things were stale between us, there wasn’t a problem but it was all just drifting along, taking each other for granted. Now it is better than when we were first married. We have reclaimed a portion of our lives from the kids. It was all about being mum and dad. Now there is Elspeth and Donnie again.”

Andrew nipped into the shop, told Tony he was borrowing Elspeth for an hour and led her through to the studio. She was smiling happily

“The days are running out, I am off on Monday. We need to do your Valentine’s Day shoot. Go and change into the black corset with the red piping. Red stockings always look ridiculous so go with black. Have a look around and see what else there is that is red. I will get everything set up in the studio.”

Elspeth came out in the corset and stockings but also with a red ribbon in her hair and long dark scarlet opera gloves. Her heels were black too. And it was fun and easy. Elspeth was always going to be a heavy woman but she had trimmed a little of the excess off her frame, and the difference was psychological rather than physiological. She still had a big bum but now was far less concerned about showing it off, getting it photographed. Other than the opera gloves everything else stayed on, although her tits were popped out of the corset within the first 10 minutes and she never even bothered with knickers. Elspeth was turning into her version of Monica the model. Her limits were stretching with every shoot, but within those limits it was crystal clear she really enjoyed showing off, posing for Andrew and his camera. He couldn’t believe how easy it was to capture some great shots.

“I will leave the five rolls of film for you to develop, okay?”

Elspeth came out of the dressing room buttoning the cuffs of her blouse.

“Sure. I think I will keep this shoot a secret until the end of January, otherwise I won’t get a minute’s peace.”

She paused and then smiled.

“Mind you...”

“Think of the therapist’s bills.”

Elspeth laughed, kissed him on the cheek and went back to work. Maggie and Tony were going to keep the shop open until the last of the Boxing Day shoppers had parted with their Christmas money, so Andrew wished them both a Happy New Year and told them he would call once he was back from France. Andrew headed off to find some dinner.

Going out with Pete and reconnecting with Don White was a fun night. Andrew had seen Don once in three and a half years, his party before he started at Cambridge, and it was great to catch up. There was nothing profound or especially revelatory it was just nice to reconnect with someone he had spoken to every day at school from 2^nd to 5^th year. The years fell away as the three of them reminisced about various people and the memorable moments during their time at school.

“Do you still keep in touch with people from school Andrew?”

Andrew was surprised that Pete hadn’t told Don although why would he have bothered?

“No. Just a couple. I don’t spend much time in Edinburgh anymore. Six weeks a year probably, two each break.”

“Even in the summer?”

“My summer job is based in London so I stay there for most of the summer. I didn’t even see Pete this summer.”

“Tell him about your flatmate.”

The smile on Don’s face indicated that he was well aware of who Pete was talking about.

“Pete used to be my flatmate, and I very memorably met his girlfriend Melody one Spring afternoon.”

Don’s face changed as Pete smacked Andrew on the shoulder.

“Old girlfriend, idiot. Yeah, I was his flatmate for a term and the summer back in 1^st year. And Melody, who was a right cracker, was lying on the couch waiting for me when this one unexpectedly arrived home. Lying on the couch, legs spread, naked as the day she was born. And then screaming at Andrew for daring to be in his own flat. But I am no longer your flatmate, am I?”

“Suzanne Jenner has been my flatmate for more than a year, although I am at Cambridge and she is in Glasgow so it is hardly daily living. So the two people from school that I keep in touch with regularly are her and this one here.”

Andrew’s admission, which Don knew anyway, brought a further round of reminisces about life at school.

“Every day for the last two years I was at school. Lucky bastard.”

“They were in the same class in 6^th year as well so it was three years. Did you know they swam every morning together for most of that time? Every morning.”

Pete was shaking his head in mournful disbelief. It was shallow and it was mostly looking back on their time at school but it was a relaxing and fun night out.

“When are you taking the Board?”

The Selection Board, to get into the Army.

“Easter. I debated holding off until after I graduate but that would mean I don’t start at Sandhurst until the start of the following year. I am doing fine on my course so I am going to do it during the Easter break. That way I have a chance for the September intake, assuming I pass of course. What about you?”

“Almost certainly after I graduate. My finals are immediately after the Easter break so I am not going to do it then and Christmas seems too soon. I only have the second four weeks of the TACC to attend anyway so there is less of a rush. I would hope to be done by the end of 1987 but if it not until the spring of 1988 then so be it. The time off will be the only thing I need to deal with.”

“You have any doubts about passing Selection?”

Andrew shrugged.

“Closer to the time I will talk to the Permanent Staff but I don’t think so. I know the OTC is hardly the Royal Scots but I am doing well. I will be in the Sapper section anyway and so I think I should be okay. You?”

“Same thing. My only worry is that it is easy to stand out at the OTC when there are so many blokes there just taking the piss, there for the money or the Adventure Training. But I have spoken to most of the officers this term getting their thoughts. I feel prepared and am confident I will pass.”

At the end of the night they poured Don into a taxi before getting one themselves. Suzanne was already in their bed when Andrew got back to the flat but he had a quick shower before joining her. Don was a smoker and so his hair and clothes stunk of cigarette smoke. But it was all forgotten as he cuddled up behind Suzanne. The next morning after swimming they were drinking coffee as usual.

“Remind me of your plans.”

“I am driving south on Monday and I should see Grandma and Julian and Leslie before I go. Other than that I have no plans.”

“So if we go and see Nikki and Fran tomorrow morning, come back lunchtime Sunday, then you can spend the afternoon with your grandmother and then we can have the two of them round for dinner?”

“Sure. I haven’t had a chance to talk to Nikki or Fran though. They don’t get back until tonight.”

“They figured that you would be through this weekend so it is no big deal.”

“Okay, so what do you want to do today?”

Suzanne’s leering pervy face needed work but Andrew got the message. And so they spent the day studying. No really they did but as interludes between repeated bouts of fucking. There was no overthinking, nothing more than two 20 year olds with an excess of horniness. After the first time they undressed all they wore for the rest of the day were their robes, easy on, easy off. What the day highlighted or reinforced was that they were both turned on by the other’s body. Andrew could run his hands over Suzanne’s body all day long. She was the prototypical siren, all tits and arse, his eyes were drawn to her all the time. But she was the same way. There was a lot of running her hands over his body, tracing the individual muscles. At one point she had Andrew lie face down on the bed and must have spent 30 minutes just massaging his arse. Normally it was men who were the visual creatures but Suzanne drank her fill that day. It was a gloriously lazy, carnal and relaxing day. He was drained by the end of the night and Suzanne’s smirk as she lay there demanding more was hilarious. They both knew that it was bullshit as she was asleep before him. Suzanne had said it right, less theory more practice.

When you wake up and your balls ache it is a disconcerting feeling. But between repeated convulsive drainings as well as them bashing against female flesh all the previous day Andrew shouldn’t have been surprised. There was no way he was running but the two of them went across the street and lazily swam back and forth. The feeling of rejuvenation was wonderful and they were both recovered by the time they were on the road to Glasgow.

“Do you think we overdid it yesterday?”

Andrew laughed.

“My balls don’t ache as much as when I woke up but I know what you mean. It seems sad to think there is such a thing as too much sex.”

“Too much vigorous sex? Everything feels tender down there.”

Andrew glanced at her with a smirk.

“Did you bring the lube?”

He was whacked for three miles of motorway. The time at Nikki and Fran’s flat was relaxing and funny as usual. It wasn’t that they didn’t give Andrew, or indeed them both, advice but it was more that he just wanted to be free of the drama of the break. The two of them were stable, happily married, in all but name, and lived a quiet, drama free life. Andrew could tell that they loved having Suzanne staying with them, the chance to play Aunt to a younger woman, as well as the connection to him. He shared the latest modelling stories with them, Fran fell off her chair she was laughing so hard at the dancer’s belt parts.

“So they were filming the filming, is that right?”

“Yes, they were filming the audition, but they also filmed the filming of the audition. A look at what happens during part of the making of the commercial. I don’t know that anything will come of it but it was daunting for all the models. There were more than 50 people on the set when they came out.”

“But it must have been the same for you. Were you not nervous?”

“Strangely no. I was in the commercial, so there was no pressure. It is very odd but I don’t worry about being naked in a studio. And the other thing is that I always talk about being naked but in reality, I have that covering, the postiche and even that makes a psychological difference. But somebody, it might have been Chiara, told me that I treat this like a hobby. I know I have been lucky, insanely lucky in this whole process but I am getting good at it. The Friday shoot, the Dance of the Seven Scarves, was with six different models. I tied on 42 scarves to six different women and then took off 84 scarves from the same six women, all the time kissing and caressing them. It was 15 days ago and I can’t even remember all their names. So it becomes a job, very quickly, a bizarre job but a job nonetheless. Thursday was 16 hours and Friday was 12, it can be exhausting.”

The reality of the modelling always caught everyone by surprise. Andrew moved them on from the modelling although it was mentioned on and off over the course of the day that they were there. Nikki and Fran had a sensible life with limited personal drama. Fran’s job was full of drama but as a pediatric surgeon, specialising in new-borns, it could not be all positive. Andrew saw a little of the shell that all medical staff must have, she didn’t raise the details of her work and none of them asked too many questions. But he also knew that she must talk about it with Nikki when it was just the two of them. Everyone needs a release valve.

Dinner was takeout and wine the former of which Andrew consumed to excess and the latter of which the three ladies consumed to excess. Nikki managed to make it to their room without too much incident but this time it was Fran that he carried through as she had completely fallen out the tree. He forced Suzanne to drink two pints of water, over many curses and threats before silence descended on the flat. He was back from his run and sitting in the kitchen when Suzanne wandered through looking ragged. He passed her a mug of coffee. She sat in silence sipping the coffee before finally talking.

“Did you make me drink water last night? I seem to have some vague memory of you making me drink water.”

Andrew nodded.

“Thank you. I am rough round the edges but not nearly as bad as I should be.”

Talking of which. Nikki shuffled through and did the same routine as Suzanne, silent drinking of coffee before finally trying to speak.

“What is it about you Andrew? I never get that drunk unless you are around. I haven’t felt this bad since Leslie’s wedding.”

That set the tone for the rest of the morning. Nikki and Fran had horrendous hangovers and Suzanne had a mild one. Andrew kept quiet as he didn’t want to be beaten for being fine. After an early lunch he and Suzanne headed back to Edinburgh. She would be back in 10 days or so for the start of term. She napped in the car on the way back so when they returned to the flat she felt much more human than earlier in the day.

“I’ll be back around 6.00 okay?”

Andrew didn’t even go up to the flat, he just headed over to his Grandma’s flat. The afternoon with her was fun. Vi came over and the three of them played cards as usual. The two of them liked to win a few pounds off Andrew purely through their skill. He wasn’t throwing the game, he was trying to win as much as possible. But it made them so happy to genuinely beat him and they knew he could afford it, so the two of them were ruthless with him. He went and got dinner for them before heading back to the flat. Suzanne dropped him off at the restaurant to collect the take out while she went on to get Leslie and Julian. They arrived within a minute of each other and sat down to eat while catching up on the last few days. Everyone pointedly steered clear of Christmas Day.