Chapter 53

Katrina apologized for not being able to attend the wedding ceremony. The only flight she could get was airborne during the ceremony. So, the three watched a video of her wedding on the big TV in the media room. For the first time, Andi was able to see clearly how the ceremony looked. Taking her white cape off was pretty dramatic now that she could see it, but it looked like she went from an overweight bride to a horny Mrs. Santa Claus, which she was/is.

“Who is that doll?” exclaimed Katrina breathlessly.

“Silly, that’s me,” said Andi, as she nudged Katrina.

“No, the other one ... not the twins or Lucy,” she added.

“The black woman standing next to the pastor? That’s my sister, Macy.”

“You like saying that don’t you,” smiled Lucy. “Sister ... I have several sisters I’m willing to part with if you want more.”

“I like the way Macy says it better, belle-sœur.”

Suddenly two small Christmas sprites appeared in dresses that match their mommies, and without invitation, they climbed up on Katrina’s lap and watched for a few moments of the ceremony. Suddenly, they both got excited. “That’s Wonka! See him? He was a good boy!” and with that, they crawled off her lap and scooted up the stairs, calling for Wonka.

“That’s it? No ‘Hi Aunty Kat’ or anything?” asked Katrina.

“Christmas overload,” explained Andi.

“They went non-stop until 9:30 last night when Macy and I finally wrestled them into bed,” said Lucy, “We gave them a bath and they took off on us, we had to chase them through this huge old house before we caught them down here.”

“They get silly when they’re over tired,” agreed Andi.

“Speaking of a big old house, show this one to me,” said Katrina.

The recorded ceremony ended, and Andi shut off the TV and led them upstairs to a house that dramatically changed. There were people everywhere. The “Pretty Room” was the center of attention where everyone gathered. A table covered with snacks was set next to the doorway into the formal dining room. In the formal dining room, the dining table became a refreshment table set up with wine bottles, beer bottles, beer cans, soda cans, and a large punchbowl. There was also hard liquor and mixer for those so inclined. The dining table was pushed against the wall because on the other side of the room a large folding table was set up, covered with desserts for the dinner: cakes, pies, bars, and dozens of Christmas cookies.

Paul came up and hugged her from behind and she gasped, “What is this?”

“It’s your wedding reception,” said Paul, which earned him a glare. “It’s the boxing day potluck we have every year, I told you about it.”

“Yeah but...” Andi’s eyes spun; she’s going to be cleaning up for years. “Hey! Boxing day is tomorrow!”

“There’s a Bills game on tomorrow. “Go meet your fans. Macy is looking for you.”

Andi was astonished at the transformation of her house, where just a couple of days ago she was wondering what to do with all this open space. Now she felt crowded. The library had suddenly become a dining area for the multitude; it was filled with folding tables and folding chairs, obviously borrowed from the church. It is no wonder why Paul keeps this room empty. She introduced Kat to everyone that she could remember, and begged forgiveness a thousand times for forgetting a name. This wasn’t just a church gathering. There were neighbors, local businessmen, farmers, and friends. And there were more people that she hadn’t met than there were people she knew.

There were their neighbors up on Trevette road, Brad and Dianna Clemmons, Gerry and Irma Hirsh, and out of the crowd a stocky man emerged, not heavy but bent from a life of hard work. He was ruggedly handsome, with long, flowing silver hair and a cheery smile. He had a can of Genesee beer in his right hand and his left arm around a slim, smiling woman. She, too, had a look about her that said she had a life filled with hard physical labor. The silver-haired man broke into a huge grin and threw his arms around Andi, hugging her so tight she thought she couldn’t breathe. She almost spilled her ginger ale. “So you’re the woman that finally lassoed our Paulie!”

“Well, I haven’t actually tied him down ... yet” answered Andi as she regained her breath, “but it is on my to-do list.” She turned to shake hands with the slim woman with the incredibly long thick blond hair. The slim woman had an extraordinarily strong, almost manly handshake.

“Heh, good one! Tie him down, I’m going to ask him about that later. Hi, I’m Heather Schaffer, and this big ape who sucks at introductions is my husband Jeff. We’re your neighbors up on Trevette Road.”

“Oh! I didn’t think I’d meet you guys until the winter broke, Paul tells me you folks just go camping up there.”

“Yeah, that’s right,” said Jeff. “That and a little hunting and fishing. Heather and her buddies are going camping on New Year’s Day if you want to join in.”

“I don’t think I’d like winter camping.”

“Do you hunt?”

“No.”

“Do you fish?”

“No.”

“You don’t hunt, you don’t fish, can you at least handle a chain saw?”

“No.”

“Then what the hell good are ya?”

“I’m a good doctor,” Andi couldn’t figure out what was going on with this guy.

“So is Paulie, what else have you got going for you?”

“I can plow snow with the Kubota.”

“Paulie let you drive the Kubota? Solo?”

When Andi nodded, Jeff threw his arms around her again and shouted, “We got us a winner here!” then he turned to Kat and said, “I don’t know why I have this thing, here you go,” and handed Kat his can of beer. Then, putting his arm around his wife, he and Heather disappeared into the crowd.

Kat examined the unopened can of beer and looked at Andi. “What just happened here?”

“I don’t know, I just met the guy myself,” shrugged Andi.

“That’s just my cousin,” said another face that emerged from the crowd. This fellow had short, cropped hair and a beard. He wore a plaid flannel shirt and blue jeans held up with suspenders that were emblazoned with “Stihl Chainsaws.” On his feet he wore combat boots, on his head he wore a rolled up knit cap. Everything about him screamed “Lumberjack.”

“You’re Jeff’s cousin? Then you must be Tommy Steinbach,” said Andi, offering her hand. Although their facial features were quite different, both Jeff and Tommy had the same stocky, muscular build.

“That’s right,” he said and instead of shaking Andi’s hand, he kissed it. “His dad is my mom’s baby brother.”

“Sooo ... I’m guessing you’re a lumberjack?” asked Kat.

“Lumberjack,” Tommy scoffed. “I am an arborist, I plant, transplant, spray, prune, sculpt, and remove trees. I treat for disease and infestation, trim back from power lines, install lightning protection, and when all else fails I will cut it for firewood.”

“Cool, and what does Jeff do?”

“Jeff? He’s a lumberjack. When he’s not sitting on his ass, he’s scratching it.” Then Tommy noticed the unopened Genesee in Kat’s hand. “Did Jeff give you that?”

“Yeah, he just handed it to me and...”

Tommy interrupted her with an upraised finger. He pulled a bottle of Heineken out of his back pocket, “Here hold this a second,” and placed it in Kat’s hand. The moment she took it, he turned and walked away.

Kat looked at the two unopened beers in her hands. “What just happened here?”

Brad and Dianna Clemmons appeared and, noticing the two unopened beers in Kat’s hands, Brad smiled and said, “I see you met Jeff and Tommy.”

Kat shrugged, “are they actually arborists, or do they work for a brewery?”

Brad chuckled, “Tommy is a tree surgeon, Jeff is his supervisor, and Joe, who is Tommy’s oldest brother, is their regional manager.”

“So what’s with this beer thing?”

“Don’t know, they won’t say. It’s just something they started doing when they started going to AA.”

Just then a large man with dark hair and a smile that said, “to hell with them all,” came up and said, “Actually those are my beers, thank you kindly little lady for wrestling them to ground for me.” He had a south Georgia accent that, when used properly with his deep baritone voice, wouldn’t leave a pair of dry panties in the room. “I ain’t never met any of y’all at one of the soirées, I’m Josh Gravely, I own the cabin across from Paul’s cabin.” And he shook Andi’s hand.

“I’m Andi, I’m Paul’s wife...” she was interrupted by Josh’s rolling laughter.

“My, my, that’s a good one Miss Andi. Did Paul put you up to that?”

“No, really, we got married yesterday.”

“It’s true!” called Paul from the kitchen. Josh looked at Andi, who looked up at him, smiling and nodding. Dianna Clemmons put her arm around the tiny bride to rescue her.

“Merry Christmas Redneck, I was there, they married in John’s church twenty three hours ago.”

Josh looked at Andi, then at Paul, who was looking at him from the kitchen, then back to Andi. “Well ... Miss Dianna wouldn’t pull ma leg. Welcome to the family, ma’am.” He shook Andi’s hand, then turned to Kat and said, “I’m going to be needin’ them beers.” He took the beer from her hands and walked off into the crowd, leaving the four women laughing.

Andi and Kat went back to greeting their guests. “Kat, this is my dancin’ instructor Veronica, she lives just across the park from us.”

Beautiful Veronica shook hands with Kat and said, “You’re going to have to bring Andi over, she’s been too busy and I’m all alone over there.”

“I’m going back to Denver in the morning,” sighed Kat.

“We’re heading out on a honeymoon cruise in a couple of days, I’ll swing by before we go,” promised Andi.

Unfortunately, Lucy had to leave for a Christmas shift at ECMC and she was gone long before the entire crowd had arrived. The crowd was joyful and merry, but earlier in the evening they kept pushing drinks on Andi. At her size and weight, it doesn’t take much alcohol to put her over the edge, so rather than refuse, she reloaded. Andi found out a long time ago that holding a drink was the best defense against someone pushing a drink into your hands, so she carried a glass of ginger ale and ice, dropped a cherry and a swizzle stick in it, and no one bothered her. Katrina had no problem with handling the proffered drinks and once she gave the unopened beers to Josh, there was no shortage of drinks being offered.

In the kitchen, the kitchen table was piled high with side dishes that the guests brought; salads, casseroles, cranberries, and potatoes served in so many ways. John and Macy were working hard to make room at the end of the table for the star of the evening: the turkey. Paul was busy slicing not one but two turkeys, wild turkeys harvested from his forest, and a huge ham brought in by Brad and Dianna Clemmons. Andi introduced her favorite nurse in the world to John and Macy, who eagerly shook her hand, but when Macy shook her hand, it appeared to Andi that Kat was so overjoyed to be touching the beautiful former model and didn’t want to let go.

“Je pense qu’elle est lesbienne,” (I think she’s a lesbian), Macy whispered into her husband’s ear.

“Oui, moi aussi,” he replied. (Yes, so do I)

Soon the food was set out on the kitchen table, paper plates, plasticware, and napkins set on the kitchen counters, desserts and drinks set out on tables in the dining room. Seeing all was ready, Paul cleaned up, took off his apron and finally took Andi in his arms and gave her a kiss. “Ok Mrs. Jarecki, it’s show time.”

“Oooo, that gives me tingles, say it again,” and she pointed to her ear.

Paul leaned over and whispered softly “Ok, Mrs. Jarecki, it’s show time.”

“Say that again and these folks will be getting a show,” she said in the sexiest voice she could muster, and licked her lips.

Paul gave her a playful swat and asked John to lead her to their table. Then he picked up a bell and walked into the parlor. He rang the bell until he had everyone’s attention. “If you could all please find your way into the library and find a place to sit, we can get started.” And slowly, the crowd moved into the library.

There was plenty of table space for everyone to sit, and John led Andi and Kat to a seat at a reserved table near the fireplace. Andi placed Kat next to a tall, slim, working man. “You keep your hands off!” Andi warned Katrina. “he’s taken!”

The man visibly blushed and muttered, “Geez Andi, laying it on a little thick are ya?”

“Oh stop, you are taken. It’s a shame neither one of you will admit it. Kat, this is Gus, he and Lucy are ... interested in each other.”

“Lucy? This is the one? Oh my!” Kat shook Gus’s hand energetically.

“Wait, what do you mean...” Gus was drowned out by Paul and the bell again, and the room came to silence.

“Ok folks, you know how this goes, we’re all going to have to sing for our supper,” said John standing on a chair. “In front of you is the lyrics to O Little Town Of Bethlehem, let’s do it acappella tonight.” He blew a pitch pipe to signal the key and Macy began singing. The room was silent except for her clear, clean voice singing exactly on key. Slowly the room joined in and grew louder, but not too loud, all were reluctant to drown out the beauty of Macy’s voice.

“She sings like an angel,” gasped Kat.

“She does at that,” nodded Gus.

“That’s my sister,” said Andi, with a tear in her eye.

After the singing, everyone sat down and grace was said by Paul, then Andi gathered the twins to her. The twins had already eaten. Paul saw to that in the desperate hope that the twins would nap on a full stomach. “Can you girls stay here with Aunt Macy and Kat while Mommy and Poppa go help people get their supper?”

Both girls nodded their heads vigorously, “Uh huh!”

“Ok, you two are going to tell the people when to get their food, ok?”

“Uh huh!” The twins were suddenly flush with a sense of power.

“Ok, this bucket has cards in it, when Aunt Macy tells you to pick a card, one of you holds the bucket and holds it ‘way up and the other one picks one card, just one, and hands it to Aunt Macy. Who wants to hold the bucket?”

Madeline was bouncing with excitement at the thought, her little hands clasped under her chin, her eyes wide with excitement. “Ok, darling, you can hold the pail.” At those words, Madeline snatched the bucket out of Andi’s hand with so much enthusiasm that she nearly spilled the cards. She held the bucket so high that Sandy had to climb up on a chair to get the card, and she finally came up with the three of hearts.

“Ok darling, hand it to me,” said Macy as Sandy started dancing around, waving the card in the air. “Table number three! Please get your dinner!”

The folks at table number three rose and gathered their dinner buffet style. As they walked to the kitchen, Paul stood and took Andi’s hand and led her to the formal dining room. He put on his red suit jacket that he always wore for this occasion; it was red with white trim and had a black belt. He wore a red shirt with a white tie and black trousers and black shoes and ended up looking like a business professional Santa, which matched Andi’s Mrs. Santa Claus’ dress perfectly.

Andi was amazed at the smooth flow that was set up, folks came in through the kitchen door on the north side, collected their plates, napkins, and utensils then got their main courses off the kitchen table, then entered the formal dining room on the south end of the kitchen. In the formal dining room, they got their drinks and desserts and were able to head back to the library. As they passed, Paul and Andi the newlyweds thanked their guests for joining them and sharing in their joy.

Finally, when all the guests have been served, Paul and Andi filled their plates and sat down with John, Macy, Gus, Kat, and the twins. John stood and announced, “Everyone has been served, which means the buffet is open for seconds.” And people began rising to refill their plates.

“This is incredible! This turkey is better than the one we had during the storm!” declared Andi as she inspected a forkful before eating. “And the potatoes! So delicious!”

“That’s one of your turkeys, baby sister,” smiled Macy. “Paul brined these turkeys so they’re even more flavorful. And the potatoes came from local farms, most likely Emerlings at Trevette and old Route 219.”

“What do you mean ‘one of my turkeys’? I don’t own any turkeys.”

“They’re on your property. John, Josh, and Paul hunted them just a few months ago, out back of the pond.” Hearing his name, Josh, over at the “Trevette Road Table” waved a fork.

That caused Andi to pause. She never intends to divorce Paul even though she’s known him for less than a month, and things happen, relationships change, but he loves that property. Every square inch of that land is in his blood. She could never take it from him. She closed her eyes and bowed her head.

Paul looked over at Macy, who was sitting across from Andi, and shrugged his shoulders to silently ask, “what is she doing?”

Macy steepled her hands together to imply that Andi was praying. This must be pretty important; Andi was raised as a CEO (Christmas and Easter Only) and was new to Christianity. After a long time, she opened her eyes and let out a breath, then dug into her meal again.

“What was that?” Paul asked.

“Oh, I just had a conflict going on in my head and I prayed it out,” she replied around a mouth full of cranberries and mashed potatoes. She swallowed and wiped her mouth. “Not your land on Trevette. I want to see a lawyer and have him fix those documents you showed me.” She put her hand on his leg and leaned toward him. “If anything happens to us before ‘death do us part’ I do not want a claim to your farm or the Kubota. That’s yours, part and parcel, and I want that in writing. I could never separate you from your land.”

“Oh, that’s sweet, I’ll fix up the forms and have...”

“No, we need to get a lawyer.”

“I am a lawyer,” he insisted.

She squeezed his leg hard. “You’re also a doctor, you’d never treat yourself, would you?”

He didn’t answer.

“Would you?”

Still no answer.

Suddenly it all became clear, the sudden love, the generosity, showering her with everything she could want. He is sick! He is dying! “Oh my God, you are treating yourself!”

“Dear, it’s not like I’m dying.”

“Maybe a little,” said Sandy.

“Just this much,” said Madeline, holding her thumb and forefinger about an inch apart. Then the twins went back to eating their pieces of banana cream pie.

“What just happened here?” Paul asked, looking at the twins.

“That’s my line,” said Katrina.

“Fine,” said Paul, “we’ll talk to a lawyer and a doctor when we get back from our honeymoon.”

“Deal,” agreed Andi. They shook hands, kissed, and got up for seconds. Returning to their seats, Andi scanned the room and saw the crowd finishing up their meals. “We’re going to be cleaning up forever,” muttered Andi.

“Oh no,” said John, “Don’t forget, these folks are veterans of a dozen potluck dinners a year, they got this down, you just watch and be amazed.”

Paul and Gus began talking about options for house modifications. They considered turning two bedrooms into a combination playroom/bedroom, but the problem was that Andi wanted the bedroom next to the master to be a nursery. They batted around a few ideas of movable walls until Gus said, “Right now the twins want to sleep in the same room, but what happens when they want their own room? Will they want a connected room? Will they want individual rooms with a third room as a playroom? What I suggest is for now is putting in a floor over the master staircase and connecting the two ends of the balcony into an open play area and we’ll worry about the rooms later. Sure, there may be some gravity experiments going over the handrail, but if we do it right it will look like it was originally designed as a natural part of the balcony and later utilized as a play area. The only hard part I can see is matching the wood floor.”

“Are you an engineer?” asked Kat as she saw his plans being drawn out on a napkin.

“Oh gosh no, I’d still have to draw this whole thing up and submit it to the village engineer. I’m just a contractor. I’m really honored to sit with the genius that’s here at this table.”

“What do you mean?” asked Kat.

“Ok, you’re a nurse practitioner and a great one from what Andi says, but then you have John, Macy, Lucy, Andi, and Paul – doctor, doctor, doctor, doctor/lawyer and doctor/doctor. I’m amazed at the knowledge gathered here and I try to soak it up, even if they are all as nutty as a cage full of squirrels.” With that, Andi nearly passed an entire ginger ale on the rocks out her nose, laughing.

“He’s got us there,” said John.

“Oui, he sure does,” chimed in Macy.

“What did you mean when you said, “Is this the one?” when we were introduced?” asked Gus, unable to hold back the question any longer.

“Oh, it’s just that Lucy...” Katrina paused for a moment to ponder; do I tell him? Or do I make up a lie that sounds good? Or do I weasel out of it? Kat decided that since she was leaving in the morning, telling the truth was quick, easy, and she’d be 2000 miles away from Lucy if she didn’t like it. “When we were talking this afternoon, she kept mentioning a guy she was really taken with, and when she found out at the wedding that he was really into her, she became very excited. She loves the fact that he is a gentleman to her, opens doors for her, pulls her chair out at restaurants, holds her hand and takes her for walks. From talking to you, you sound like a man who would do that for her.”

Gus blushed. “Yeah, I am. And I’m Italian, I was raised to treat all women like that, but with Lucy it isn’t a duty, to me it’s a privilege, and I love having the opportunity to be able to do it. Besides, my dear departed mother would come back to hit me if I didn’t.” Gus looked down at the table and wiped his eyes with a napkin.

“Do you still miss her?”

“Very much so,” said Gus, staring down at the table.

“Do you mind if I asked how she died?” asked Kat.