Chapter 45

Gus showed up with John not long after Macy and Lucy trapped the nudists downstairs while they were trying to get the large TV in the media room to turn on. They were murmuring in Twinbabble® while they were being dressed in their new Christmas pajamas. “Aunt Macy?” asked Sandy, eventually.

“Yes dear.”

“You’re our real and for true aunt now?”

“Yes, I really and for truly am, why do you ask?”

“We ... we ... we don’t want to stop calling Aunt Lucy our aunt,” and the tears flowed.

“Oh honey, you don’t have to stop calling Aunt Lucy your aunt” but the twins weren’t buying it. Now that Aunt Macy is their mommy’s sister, she’s the legitimate heir to the title of aunt and all other aunts are pretenders to the throne. Rather than try to argue the twins out of their mindset, Macy simply changed the rules. “Ok, I understand. I’m going to have a talk with your mommy about it and we’ll see what she says, but until that time, you can call her “Aunty” Lucy ok?”

The twins thought it over, approved the suggestion, and signified so by throwing themselves on Lucy. As they were having a tickle war with Lucy on the couch that Paul had been using as a bed up until this night, they heard John and Gus stomp their feet coming in the back door. Being children of a dryer climate, the twins have yet to learn that the stomp means one thing: it’s snowing.

“That’s your Uncle John and your daddy’s friend Gus. Let’s go upstairs lovebugs!”

“Bug bug.”

“Bug bug.”

And off they went. They zoomed up the stairs to greet their guests, followed by Aunt Macy. John and Gus were in the kitchen laughing over the events of the evening and especially the remarks of the church members as they poured themselves a cup of coffee. John and Macy sat at the kitchen table and John told her about the reaction of several church members to the ceremony when the twins climbed into his lap.

“Unka John! Unka John!” and with that they introduced him to the life that their mother had been living since they started talking just about two years ago. Their mom was an only child, so the twins didn’t have any uncles, and now they do. Andi had been telling the twins how great it was to have an uncle, and now they were bubbling with enthusiasm and were overflowing with the joy of being nieces. Sandy was telling her Uncle John about the difference between Aunt and Aunty while Madeline told him how much Wonka enjoyed being in church. John’s head was spinning with the verbal barrage and Macy was almost paralyzed with laughter at his confused expression. Suddenly, Gus appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, smiling and listening to the children’s babble. When both girls looked and saw him standing there, they were suddenly shocked. “STOP!” they both shrieked.

“What? What did I do?” asked Gus, confused.

“DON’T MOVE!” Madeline jumped off her uncle’s lap and ran over to Gus, sat on his foot, and wrapped her arms around his leg to keep him from moving. Sandy, meanwhile, ran off looking for Aunty Lucy.

“AUNTY LUCY! HELP! HELP!”

“What? What did I do?” asked Gus.

“HURRY!” shouted Madeline as she wrapped her arms tighter around his leg. “HE’S MOVING!”

John surveyed the situation, then realized what got the girls agitated. He sipped his coffee and said to Macy, “Do you see it dear?”

“AUNTY LUCY! HELP!”

Macy surveyed the scene, then noticed it. “Oh oui,” she said, sipping her coffee with a huge smile. “We need Aunty Lucy for this, absolument!”

Finally, Lucy emerged from the basement with Sandy behind her, pushing against her buttocks. “Hurry! Over there! Over there!” It took a moment for Lucy to realize that she was being pushed toward Gus.

“Better hurry up,” said John between sips of coffee.

“I still don’t understand,” said Gus.

Madeline looked up at Gus angrily. He clearly did not realize the severity of the situation. She hugged his legs even tighter and shouted, “Missile Toast!”

“Wait, what?” He looked at the coffee table for support and saw John and Macy pointing over his head. He looked up and saw the sprig of mistletoe hanging in the door frame. With that, he deftly swung Lucy into his arms, bent her over slightly, and gave her quite a kiss. Her eyes shot open with surprise before she wrapped her arms around him and returned the affection. He stood her up and smiled. “Let it not be said that August Didomissio shirks his yuletide duties.”