Chapter 30

Andi’s reaction to the seminar was “meh” and “no surprises” to which Paul responded, “That’s because you haven’t been to my session yet.”

“I didn’t see you on the schedule ... oh wait, there you are. ‘Sleep Apnea and the Military’ So? Every sector of society has sleep apnea.”

“Trust me, it’s an eye opener.”

“Ahhhh – I get it, ‘eye opener,’ that’s very cruel.” Andi hugged him tightly. She knew that the health of the men and women serving the nation was still a priority of his.

The medical conference was boring to Andi. As a sleep specialist, she already knew everything they were speaking about, so she lost track of days, and ended up being caught by surprise when the speaker of the day turned out to be Paul. She tried to catch his eye, but he was doing an old speaker’s trick. He looked like he was making eye contact with his audience, but in reality, he was looking just over their heads.

With a minimal introduction, Paul threw a metaphorical live hand grenade at his audience. “As we all now know, five percent of the US population is at risk for sleep apnea, but not veterans. A recent VA study showed on average that 69.2% of veterans were at high risk for sleep apnea, and this risk actually increased with PTSD symptom severity. I am Doctor Paul Jarecki, United States Air Force Lieutenant Colonel retired, and these veterans, these sufferers, are my brothers and sisters.”

“We just spent several days telling you of the dangers of sleep apnea, now imagine a sufferer operating a high speed fighter aircraft. Imagine a fighting man or woman going into combat with an average of 3 hours of sleep a night. Think of the soldiers that operate the artillery, load the bombs and missiles on the airplanes, maintain the ships at sea, or work for hours in the air traffic control towers.”

“It’s said that ‘accidents happen,’ but in the military, accidents cost lives. And the loss of life doesn’t stop when the soldiers return to civilian life.” He spoke the next words slowly and loudly, so the doctors that were listening paid careful attention to his words. “Twenty-two veterans will commit suicide today.” He let that sink in before he continued. “While the VA claims the number is eighteen veterans killing themselves every day, that’s still eighteen too many!” he shouted. Then he sadly said, “and another twenty-two will kill themselves tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after that. And on and on and on ... how many of these are due to the mental ravages caused by sleep apnea? We will never know, but for me, one is far too many.”

For three hours, Paul lectured on the horrors of battlefield PTSD intensified by the mental ravages of sleep apnea. For Andi, who has been working with near terminal patients for years, who has lost so many patients to COPD, actually thought she had her emotions tempered strong as steel. But seeing these young men and women that gave so much for her safety and security, die a slow, agonizing death or to end it all with a ‘swallowed bullet’ (suicide) was truly heartbreaking. “My father ... my real daddy ... did he have sleep apnea? Or maybe people in his squad? Would that have been a contributing factor in his death?” The thought burned in her stomach for the rest of the afternoon.

That night she cried herself to sleep in Paul’s arms again, gasping, “I didn’t know...” over and over.