Chapter 12

Kickoff was 1:20 that afternoon, so anything that required Daddy or Poppa had to be done before then. At one point, both Momma and Poppa had disappeared, and the twins looked all over for them. They even looked under the cots up in the loft. They eventually found them in the sauna “rubbing their lips together” which is what the twins started calling passionate kissing. At 1:00, the big painting was swung up and the pre-game show was turned on.

“Paul?” called Andi from the kitchen. He didn’t respond and continued to watch the pregame show. “Daddy?” Suddenly, he got up and came into the kitchen. “Why did you ignore me calling you ‘Paul’ but jumped right up when I said ‘Daddy’?”

“I don’t know...” stammered Paul, “I guess it’s because anyone can call me Paul, where Daddy is much more personal.”

“Good to know,” said Andi, “but look.” She was standing in front of the induction range trying to reach the above stove microwave. Her fingertips were well over six inches from the controls. “I don’t want to have to drag a chair in here when I want to make some popcorn, do you have a stool?”

“No problem,” said Paul, and he wrapped up in his parka and ducked out into the storm to grab a step stool for her. She expected an old wooden milking stool or something like that, but Paul came back with a perfectly usable, yet clearly quite old, kitchen stool. It was a tall chair that would be usable at any breakfast counter. The chair had two steps that fold-out from under the seat. It was all chrome, with pink cushions, a sure product of the fifties. “Don’t lose that, I use it to gather eggs in the barn.”

“No, you don’t, it would be covered with dust, straw and chicken poop, this is in pristine condition. Was it your moms?”

“Yes, it was a wedding present for my folks from my Aunt Hildi. When you’re broke you get very practical wedding gifts. I keep it covered up, it was always in the kitchen and nothing reminds me of mom more than this stool.”

“I’ll keep a good eye on it for my Daddy,” she said coyly as she sat on the seat.

“You’re a sweet baby,” he kissed her on the forehead, “Now, for the next three hours I’m going to mentally be in the Mile High Stadium.”

“What?” Andi looked over his shoulder and saw on the TV that the Buffalo Bills were playing the Denver Broncos.

Moments before kickoff as tensions mounted on the TV, Paul watched in anticipation of a slaughter. His Bills were on a roll at seven and three and he was decked out in the Red White and Blue of New York State’s only NFL football team. (It’s true, those other pretenders play in New Jersey!) Paul proudly wore his Bills hat, Bills sweatpants and slippers, and a Buffalo Bills jersey, #14 with the name Kelly on the back and Jim Kelley’s autograph on the right breast. He almost didn’t notice Andi sitting down next to him decked out in Broncos Blue and Orange, including an orange John Elway jersey.

Oh, it’s on!

“Let make this interesting,” she said as she grabbed a handful of popcorn from the bowl that rested on his lap.

“Are you suggesting a friendly wager?”

“I’m suggesting a sexy wager,” answered Andi. “Let’s say that for every time your team scores, you get an orgasm from the supporter of the other team.”

“Which is good for you being multi-orgasmic and all.”

Andi leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder. “Only with you.” She smiled in reverie at the memory of last night’s lovemaking. And the night before! A mind shattering orgasm before he even touched her pubic hair to start ... she is still astonished.

“Ok, and how about a full body massage for the supporter of the winning football team,” suggested Paul. “after all, a team can kick a lot of field goals but still lose.”

“No taunting the loser?”

“You’re in Bills Country darling, we may be mind-warped fanatics whose religion bleeds Genesee beer, but we are still gentlemen and fair sports.”

“Then I accept the terms of this wager and eagerly look forward to the manipulation of my body.” They kissed to seal the wager and it was Game Time.

The storm raged and howled outside the cabins. Occasionally, a severe blast of wind would blow some smoke down the chimney and into the room where the twins and their lover parents watched a game being played 2,000 miles away. The twins were decked out in Broncos t-shirts, blue sweatpants and neon orange fuzzy slippers to match their mom’s outfit and they grew weary of the game before the first kickoff was actually caught. They drifted to the kitchen table where they colored pictures and scattered M&M’s. Every time there was an exceptionally powerful blast of wind that rocked the cabin or whenever the lights flickered, they ran to the couch and would crawl up on Paul and Andi’s lap. Madeline generally crawled into Paul’s lap; she liked the title he gave her; Love Bug. “Bug bug!” she would chirp as she snuggled in. But soon the cause of their fear would go away, and they would go back to coloring. Such are the restorative powers of having a daddy.

As for the game, on their first possession, the Bills drove down to the Broncos 45, then stalled. Their punter had an incredible Coffin Corner kick, and the Broncos started their first drive from their own 1-yard line and lost a half of a yard on their first play from scrimmage. On their second play, their fullback was trapped in the end zone and the Bills put the first two points on the board with a safety. Paul whooped and clapped his hands, but there was no “In Your Face!” directed at Andi. If anything, he was a gracious winner, and win or lose, he just liked watching his team play.

For her part, Andi patted his crotch and said, “I get to play with my new favorite toy.”

The Broncos kicked off after the safety and the ball was caught at the 10 and after a good run the Bills started their second drive from midfield, but then went 3 and out. On their next drive, the Broncos drove down to the Bills 27, where they stalled and kicked a field goal. Andi jumped up with a “Whoo Hoo!” and the twins chimed in, “Go Broncos!” at the sound of their mother’s cheer. They never looked up from their coloring. That was all the scoring for the first quarter, the score 3 to 2, and Paul and Andi were tied 1 to 1.

“Mind if I have a cold one?” asked Paul as he got up and turned to the kitchen.

“A diet soda, any kind you got.”

“I didn’t bring any diet sodas,” Paul said from the kitchen.

“Then I’m good.”

Paul cracked open an ice-cold Genesee Cream Ale at the start of the second quarter, and Andi held out her hand. “Let me try a sip,” she said, reaching for his “Genny Screamer.” Paul relinquished the long neck bottle and Andi took a sip. When Paul held out his hand for the bottle, Andi just looked at him and said, “What?”

“My beer please?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, this one’s mine.”

Paul sighed and got up and got another beer out of the kitchen, checked on the twins and sat back down just in time to see the Broncos score a touchdown. Since the extra point counts as a score; Andi 3, Paul 1. Paul had placed bets on games before, but this bet really added to his viewing experience. The game became a thrilling defensive struggle packed full of incredible defensive plays, so much so that it looked like both offensive units failed to show up. Eventually the Bills scored a touchdown, so at the half the score stood at Broncos 10, Bills 9, Andi and Paul were tied at 3 apiece.

While Paul made sandwiches, Andi set up a video call to her Nana with the twins. To start with, she took a child’s blue washable marker and put a dot on Sandy’s nose, and with an orange marker, put a matching dot on Madeline’s nose. When Nana, Elinore Olson, appeared on the phone, the twins cried “G.G.!” and tried to grab the phone out of Andi’s hands. Andi had barely enough time to tell Nana that Sandy was the blue dot, and Madeline was the orange. Nana insisted on knowing which twin was which, so they devised the washable dots on the twins’ noses.

“G.G.! It’s snowing here!” cried Sandy. “We can’t get out!”

“But we have bacon, and a fire in a box, and a kissy bell!” added Madeline.

“It’s got missile toast and it really works!”

“We made a snowman!”

“I ate a turkey!” then the girls fell silent. “That’s all!” said Madeline finally, and she started to hand the phone to Andi.

“There’s nothing else?” Andi asked with a slightly stern look at them.

Sandy and Madeline concentrated hard, their little faces screwed up in concentration until Sandy said, “Nope, that’s all.”

“There’s no big change in your life? No one new to love you forever?”

Suddenly Madeline’s face brightened. “Wonka! We got a dog!”

“He’s really big!”

“Wonka sleeps with us!”

“He’s soooo cute.”

“Sometimes he’s gassy, but we still like him.”

“He’s got a chewy rope, it’s always damp.” And the girls fell silent again.

“That’s all? Nothing else or no one else?” asked Andi.

“I see where I fall in this family, after Wonka and a kissy bell,” said Paul as he brought in sandwiches for the twins.

“Oh yeah G.G. we got a dad too.”

“That’s wonderful!” gushed Nana. “Tell me all about him.”

“Well ... he’s tall,” said Sandy as she fought for something to say.

Madeline thought hard, her brows knitted in the effort to come up with an idea. Suddenly, her face brightened. “He’s got this great dog, his name is Wonka!”

“And he’s chocolate! Wonka isn’t made out of chocolate, he’s chocolate colored,” said Sandy.

“But he doesn’t taste like chocolate,” said Madeline.

“He tastes like hair.”