Chapter 1

The first sounds that I can remember hearing sounded like the distant wheezing of a squeezebox that didn’t have the keys inserted. A soft and gentle yet constant rhythm, reminding me of a metronome that sat behind my grandfather’s desk. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t open my eyes, I couldn’t move my tongue, and panic started to set in. I resigned myself to this dark place, knowing that I was finally wherever the afterlife was. What happened to the whole “your life will flash before your eyes” that I had heard about for so long? Was now when I was supposed to have these flashes? Should I try to make my own flashes? Let me just rest...

“Holy Hell,” I thought, whatever this is has one hell of a sense of humor. Somewhere in the darkness, I could hear Mick saying he wanted to introduce himself. Did I really hear Sympathy for the Devil? I had to find where it was coming from, who knew the Stones would be playing in hell when I arrived.

“Can you hear me, Billy Jean? Calm down, you are in a hospital. Nurse, dim the lights please.”

I tried to lift my hand. Damn it, why couldn’t I move anything. Slowly the pressure that was holding my eyes closed started to lift. What the fuck, don’t rip out my eyebrows.

“Hold on there Billy Jean, slowly open your eyes when you can, it will be bright.”

Who was this voice, and if they called me Billy Jean one more time I was going to break whatever restraints were holding me down and fucking kill them. Why can’t I fucking talk? Seriously WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT.

I opened my eyes, and they weren’t lying. It was fucking bright. Didn’t someone say something about dimming lights? Who didn’t understand that they only had one fucking job? This is why we can’t have nice things. I wasn’t prepared for the next incarnation of the sun to shine in my eyes. What kind of doctor is dumb enough to shine a light into someone’s eyes when they were just unblindfolded, fucking sadist.

“Give us a minute Billy Jean, and we will take that tube out of your mouth, you needed some help for a little while.”

No shit, Doc, you are about to need some help as soon as I can fucking yell at you. Where the fuck am I, why are there doctors in hell, and where are the Stones, seriously, they died too?

The feeling of the tube being pulled out of my throat brought back sickening feelings and sickening memories. It had been a bunch of years since the day that I was gang raped and had a cock shoved in my throat. Having the tube removed was like having that cock pulled out of my throat, but without the semen dripping on it’s way out. I could feel the wet sponge dragging across my lips.

“Give it a moment, you are probably going to be hoarse,” said the balding bespectacled man in a white coat. “Welcome to Germany Billy Jean”

“Fuck you, don’t call me that” I managed to croak out.

“Hey, I am just going by what it said on your tags, and what your file says. My name is Captain True, what would you prefer to be called Petty Officer?”

“Shaw, why can’t I move?”

“Okay Shaw, take it easy for a bit, you are going to be tired, we are going to put a button by your hand, all you have to do is press it when you wake up.”

“I am awa...”

Slowly the darkness surrounded me again. What the hell? I was finally able to see, and talk, and now I am asleep again. Seriously, if this was Germany and not Hell, someone was going to be in a world of trouble. If I was in Germany, that meant that I had abandoned my guys in Iraq. How, how could I?

The sounds of Jimi Hendrix playing Hey Joe softly woke me. Though, I didn’t want to open my eyes yet. I needed to collect my thoughts. Where was I? With the music playing, I hoped that I wasn’t in a dream state, and the bustle around me seemed to confirm that. I felt flesh lay against my left hand and a murmur of words in a foreign language. Certainly not German, nor Arabic, but not a tongue that I recognized. I opened my eyes.

“Ahhh, I am sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb your rest, Sir,” said the sweetest voice that I had ever heard. “My name is Dr. Rubai, I am a therapist here if you need to talk before you go back to the States. I heard they were hoping that you were able to make it there before the Holidays.”

“I am sure that I will make it there by then, I am due to rotate back in November.”

“Oh, they told me that you had woken up and they spoke to you already. Is that not the case?” she asked with the slightest tilt of her head. What was this lady holding back? Honestly, I really wouldn’t care as long as she sat there holding my hand and talking to me. Dr. Rubai was of Middle Eastern descent, though her language hinted that she wasn’t a native English speaker. From where I lay in bed, I couldn’t tell her height, but I could tell that unless she was very pear-shaped, she was a very petite woman. Olive skin, eyes, that reminded me of smoked almonds, and dark hair that was cut to conform to military standards, though in a light sweater instead of a uniform. Odd for early September, well, maybe not in Germany. I wasn’t sure how warm it was outside now.

“They spoke to me if you can call it that. They told me I would be tired before I went back to sleep. Whoever that Doctor was, needs to realize that we use our last names for a reason.”

I wanted to turn my body so that I could see more of her. Though I also knew that I would need to move the blanket to make sure that my cock didn’t try to make an introduction as well. Really? I am lying in a hospital bed, and my brain goes to the fact that my cock wants to say hello? Wow Shaw, your mother was right, you are a fucking pervert. Thanks, self, the last thing I want to think about now is her.

Dr. Rubai squeezed my hand and slid her chair a little closer to my bedside, “Well, I am sorry that you didn’t have a positive experience with him, but your records show that it was Capt True, and he is the best when it comes to spinal cord injuries, at least in the European theatre. Tell me, Shaw, do you know what day it is?”

“Probably a day that ends in Y, but, no. The last report that I remember writing was on 2 September, so I am guessing the first week of September, why?” I lifted my hand and felt the light stubble on my cheek, not more than two days growth as far as I could feel.

“I see,” she said, “That may explain some of the confusion. Today is a day that will live in infamy”

“Doc, you realize that you are horribly misquoting FDR, he said ‘A Date that will live in infamy’ not a day. The day would be Sunday but the date would be December...” No fucking way, it was impossible. There was no way that I had been lying here for three months. Especially without a full beard.

“Captain True will come in and talk to you about the medical issues, but I wanted to let you know that if you need to talk about anything, and I do mean anything, before you ship out, all you have to do is ask for me. I am generally nearby.” Doctor Rubai stood, squeezing my hand again, and began to exit the room, giving me a chance to appraise her lithe body as she left.

I had been correct in my first assumption that she was small. I had probably made more ruck runs with packs bigger than her. If I had to guess, I would say that calling her five foot tall would be generous. She also couldn’t have weighed more than a hundred pounds soaking wet. When she had stood, I did notice that even with a light sweater on, her pronounced nipples stood nicely on her frame, but I wouldn’t say they were much more than a handful at best.

That gave me a moment to slip my hand under the blanket and adjust my cock. Damn, I had been there a while as evidenced by the rampant growth of pubic hair. The foley catheter in my cock also made me realize that someone had removed my piercing. Of course they would, I was in a hospital, and all of my piercings had been removed. Well, whoever had done that either will write a report or will return the jewelry. Either way, I had bigger problems to worry about. I laid my head back and closed my eyes, even the smallest exchanges seemed to take effort.

I hadn’t had my eyes closed for long before The Animals started crooning “we gotta get out of this place” getting louder. I had to see why all of this Vietnam-era music was drifting in and out of my life lately. I opened my eyes, and caught my breath. He was in scrubs and had the chiseled jawline of something out of airbrushed porn mags. When he looked up and smiled that cheeky little grin, it was the sparkle in his crystal blue eyes that had given me pause. Something that just screams out, mischief.

“Hey Shaw, nice to see you awake. The name is Day, but you can call me Day or Night,” he said in a soft-spoken southern drawl. I was starting to think that I had to be dreaming, then he reached into his pocket and clicked the button on his iPod putting the music on hold. Then reaching into his scrub top he pulled out his dog tags, and low and behold, they made too much noise. “I believe these belong to you” he purred as he slipped my two nipple rings and my Prince Albert captive off his chain.

“Yeah, I figured they were either gone or saved as evidence for the report” I muttered not normally one who stumbles over my words, no matter how attractive someone is. I knew when I was working in my unit, I didn’t have to worry. My chain of command knew that I had piercings, no biggie. Hell, the Admiral that was in charge of my unit had dog paws tattooed on his back, and had tried to make a joke during PT one day, but after a night of drinking in Bahrain blurted out that there was a reason that dogs were a man’s best friend. Yep, our unit was a bunch of freaks, we joked that it took freaks to do the job we did. Criminal Investigations at its finest.

As Day placed my rings in a sample cup and set them on my bedside he got a wry smile on his face when he looked at me and said, “You know, if you want these back in before you go, just let me know, I would happily make sure they are secure.” Hmmm, how did he know it was safe to even hint at something like that? Perhaps it was in my eyes, or maybe it was how even with a foley in, my cock was starting to stir.

“Day, if I have been here for so long, how am I semi-freshly shaved,” I was curious.

“Oh, well, we make sure that you get a trim when it is needed. I think they were going to ship you while induced but they were worried about the jostling,” he seemed like he wanted to say more. “And no matter how often I have argued with our head nurse, they only allow us to groom the face, no matter how the patient came in” he winked.

“Yeah? That could be fun, but it won’t happen until this tube is out of it. Though I need a shower, I lifted my blanket and could smell my balls, and no one should have to handle them unless they are just a dirty boy”, I could flirt too.

Watching as the crimson rolled up his face and seeing his tongue very quickly wet his lips was worth every bit of discomfort the catheter was causing as my cock was starting to firm up. It was probably my cosmic luck that this was the time that that asshole Captain True decided he needed to make another appearance in my room.

“Ahhh Petty Officer Shaw, nice to see you decided to join the land of the living,” he quipped flatly. Did this guy have no bedside manner? “Well, the good news is that you will make it home before Christmas. Do you want the bad news from me, or should I call Dr. Rubai in to hold your hand first?”

Day looked like he was about to jump across my bed and hit the Captain for me, swoon. “Captain, you may want to call in his skipper before you say much else, I am sure the Admiral would want to be here, especially for something this important.” Wait, are you saying that Adm Golombowski was in Germany as well? That must mean that I am beyond fucked.

“Corpsman, if I wanted the opinion from a subordinate then I would tell you what your opinion would be, is that understood,” Captain True quipped without ever looking up from the file in his hand.

The clearing of a throat from the door is what caused the arrogant doctor to finally look up before he stammered “ Admiral, I was just telling the Corpsman to call you and see when you would be able to come in so we can talk to Billy Jean about his condition.”

Admiral Golombowski looked over to me, noticing that there wasn’t an ounce of peace on my face as I clenched my fists. “Captain, I am going to assume that this is the first time that you are talking to Shaw because if it isn’t, I am going to have to believe that you are asking to be assaulted. I can tell you firsthand that Shaw hasn’t used the names you have used for as long as I have known him, and I hand-selected him to my unit.”

“Admiral, I am about to stand up and beat the living shit out of this fucker,” I was seriously done with his attitude, for real.

Captain True got a smirk on his face as he said “Well Billy Jean, it seems that you don’t quite understand your condition. When the IED went off, you broke your back, and you won’t walk again.”

Before I could respond in any shape form or fashion, Admiral Golombowski’s fist connected with the Captain’s chin. Sadly, I knew the Admiral enough to know that he had pulled the punch, not knocking his ass out. As the Captain stood there trying to recover his dignity, then screamed for the MPs, Admiral G looked over at Corpsman Day and said, “Corpsman, can you clean up the floor where the Captain slipped and fell, I think there is a safety issue here.”