Chapter 5: Henry and Theresa Get an Education

Henry came out of the bedroom, having changed into a fresh set of clothes after a very entertaining bath in the backyard. To his utter surprise, Theresa was still stark naked, preparing the evening meal.

“Jesus, love, not that I would want to complain,” he said and shamelessly ogled her naked body. “But since I came back from that trip with Hans, you seem to have developed an aversion to clothing. Too bad I didn’t know that earlier.”

Theresa giggled. “I didn’t know myself until recently, but let’s eat first. Then I’ll explain.”

She put a wooden bowl with two roasted duck legs in front of him, satisfying herself with just a single one. Henry ate his meal in silence, enjoying the glorious view. Theresa blushed slightly when she noticed his looks.

“So - belch - sorry. So, love, to what kind of event do I owe this heavenly view?” he asked when he had wolfed down his meal.

Theresa shook her head about his primitive table manners, but she smiled. “At first I thought about letting you think I’m doing this for you, but the truth is, I’m doing it for myself. When you and Hans were away I took a bath in the backyard one evening and I forgot to bring a change of clothes. Jolanda had already gone home, so she couldn’t help me. Well, I could put on the dirty clothes again or go in like the Lord created me, and I chose the latter. I soon realized that it felt nice – no itchy dress, a light breeze on my skin in the summer heat, so...”

“Well, Lady Theresa, by the power invested in me as the Bailiff of this hamlet, I allow you to go unclothed whenever you feel like it,” Henry mock-proclaimed, which made Theresa laugh.

“You first have to take me to Talmberg. As of now, I’m still Theresa the mill wench.”

“I will take you to Talmberg when we collect Lady Stephanie. But you do understand that you create a problem for me?”

“How so?” Theresa asked.

“Well, you’re showing me your gorgeous breasts all day, yet you don’t want me to play with them. It puts me into a bit of a bind,” Henry admitted.

Theresa looked down. “Henry, it’s not that I don’t want you to play with them, but you are ... you...”

“I’m too rough,” he finished the sentence for her. “I’m sorry, love.”

“Don’t be sorry,” she replied. “You’ve spent the last year getting used to wielding heavy axes and maces. Look at yourself. Your arms are bigger than your legs were when we were still living in Skalitz. I don’t blame you. You had to do that just to survive.”

“I guess you will have to teach me,” he said. “If anything, I’ve gotten used to learning new shit. And that’s something I’m very keen to learn.”

Theresa threw her head back and laughed. “I bet you are keen to start as soon as possible.”

“Guilty as charged,” Henry quipped.

“Henry, I want to ask a favour of you,” Theresa ventured carefully. “Do you know Agnes – from the bath house?”

“There’s no Agnes in Rosa’s bath house, so I guess she works in the other one?”

Theresa nodded.

“Love, the parish priest and I are probably the only men in Pribyslavitz who’ve never been there, so no, I don’t know her.”

“She’s the one who gave me that idea, you know, in the bath tub,” Theresa teased him. “Agnes wants to teach us a few things, but that would mean you would have to come with me.”

“She’s giving lessons?” Henry asked, chuckling.

“Oh, she does,” Theresa confirmed. “You should drop by the woodcutters camp. You won’t recognize Kunesh. He was a regular visitor to the bath house until Agnes got through to him. Suddenly he started to look after himself, stopped drinking and he is now the foreman and he is going to get married soon.”

“He’s marrying a bath house maid?”

“No, silly,” Theresa said and giggled. “Remember that girl who came to you because her neighbour had ostensibly hexed her hens?”

Henry doubled over laughing. “He’s marrying her?”

Theresa nodded, giggling along. “Well, she’s a bit less crazy these days.”

“Okay, love, If I get this right, you want the two of us to meet with this Agnes for ... um ... lessons?”

Theresa nodded. “I beg your forgiveness, but I told her that you are a bit ... hefty ... when you touch me, and she thinks she can teach you. Henry, I would love nothing more than being touched by you, but as it is now, you’re manhandling me like an axe.”

“Right, love,” Henry decided. “Make an appointment with this Agnes, preferably very soon as in two day’s time we have to collect Lady Stephanie and make you Lady Theresa of Pribyslavitz.”

“Tomorrow evening?” she asked and Henry nodded, planting a kiss on her.

“Zach!”

“Henry!”

Henry shook the armour smith’s hand.

“How are things? Have you hammered some of the stuff back into shape?”

“You bet,” Zach said and led him into his main chamber. “You’ve collected some really rare stuff. See this? That’s a Magdeburg cuirass. You should take that for yourself. It’s finest craftsmanship.”

“It certainly looks the part,” Henry agreed. “I think I have chausses and pauldrons from Magdeburg too.”

“And I throw in this here sword,” Zach added and handed Henry a newly restored longsword. “Magdeburg longsword. You’ll have the full set. It came back this morning from the blacksmith in Ledetchko.”

“That’s a piece of art,” Henry said admiring the weapon.

“Now if you would at least use it,” Zach mentioned with no little amount of sarcasm. “If you keep bashing people with a mace, half the stuff you bring back can only be made into nails.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, Zach,” Henry said, chuckling. “Trust me, you are not the first one today to tell me I need a bit more finesse.”

“You are nervous,” Theresa stated the obvious when they prepared for their visit to Agnes at the bath house.

“Yes, I am, love,” he admitted, fidgeting while trying to button up his shirt. “If this Agnes is going to teach me, I can’t imagine this will go without me touching her or her touching me. Are you sure you will cope with seeing me touch another woman? The last thing I need is that our relationship breaks up because of a beer idea.”

Theresa laughed and kissed him on the nose. “She will touch you, alright? And you will touch her as well. I’m quite aware of what awaits us. What happens today at the bath house, stays at the bath house.”

“Well, I hope you’re right,” Henry sighed.

“Stop being a ninny,” Theresa said, smiling. She took him by the hand and they walked out of the Rathaus.

When they had arrived at the bath house, Henry forgot to breathe for a moment. Theresa’s breasts were big, but in comparison to this Agnes girl, she looked positively small. Good grief that were some seriously big breasts, and, as the purpose of their visit had it, she would unpack them at some point.

For the moment though they were walking along a small path towards a small hut a bit away from the rest of the bath house.

“This is our special chamber,” Agnes explained. “You are not the first couple we have tutored. If it was for the parish priest, people would lie with each other three times in their life to make babies, but there is so much more to loving each other.”

“So you have a building just for that?” Henry asked.

“Not really,” Agnes explained with a smile. “Occasionally we get visitors that don’t want to be seen in the bath house, so we had this hut built a bit away from the action.”

“You are not abetting adultery, are you?” Henry asked sternly, which got him an angry look from Theresa.

“No, we don’t,” Agnes explained calmly, not at all upset about his implied accusation. “When someone marries around here, people notice it. Any married man or woman coming to us is turned away.”

“Woman?” Henry asked and raised an eyebrow.

Agnes giggled. “Do you think only men come to the bath house? Those men working for us, well, let’s say they don’t only fetch water from the stream.”

“The parish priest would have a conniption if he knew of this,” he remarked.

“He does know,” Agnes replied. “You did well to convince Pater Simon to relocate from Rovna to here. He isn’t your garden variety priest. He turns a blind eye as long as we keep our business out of the public eye. He certainly appreciated what we did to get Kunesh sorted out.”

“Theresa already told me,” Henry said. “I guess I do have to visit him to see what kind of miracle you performed. I can hardly believe you made this drunkard into a foreman.”

Agnes giggled as she opened the lock of the front door. “It was easier than you think. I just had to convince him that he isn’t the trash he thought he was. Once he started looking after himself things sorted out themselves.”

“Right,” she proclaimed after locking the door again once all three of them were inside. “I think we can do without clothes.”

“There’s someone who doesn’t need a second invitation,” Henry said with a snicker, seeing that Theresa more or less tossed her dress aside.

With a few swift motions he divested himself of his clothing, feeling a bit self-conscious when a part of his anatomy sprang to life immediately upon seeing Theresa’s naked frame.

“Oh dear, he really does love you, doesn’t he?” Agnes said to Theresa and chuckled. She shrugged off her dress and those gargantuan breasts of hers were set free. Henry stared at her, gaping.

“Like them?” Agnes asked and jiggled her massive assets at him.

“What ... Whatever I’m going to say next, I’ll probably sleep outside tonight,” Henry stammered. In the background he could hear Theresa laugh hysterically.

“Touch them,” Agnes demanded. After a look at Theresa and seeing her approving nod, Henry grabbed one of them.