Chapter 1

Our four farms shared a road intersection, and I met my best pals Timmen, Yollus, and Nebbediah when we started kindergarten together. That was ten years earlier, when we were only five. Our final day of school was nearly done, and the teacher passed out our diplomas. We were more than happy our last day was also only a half-day.

I read my name as I joyfully thought, “Kylenn Wannicker Junior, you’re free at last! No more school for you!” We proudly stared at our certificates and showed them to each other, until the bell rang and we ran for our bus.

We were eager and beyond to go fishin’ and campin’ like we planned. We’d finally have a whole weekend of freedom, away from chores and our strict parents! It was a joyous bus ride home with most of the kids singing, shouting, or throwing balls and paper airplanes back and forth. My pals and I sat in the best spot, the back row. We were more dignified, as nearly men instead of wild little brats.

Neb, Yoll, and I listened intently as Timm told us, “I’ll be a man next month, so I can finally quit shakin’ my snake. Only six weeks ‘til I turn 16, and get twice daily blowies from our family Matron! My big sister is 19, and SO HOT! Papa and my brothers say her mouth is amazing, and she lets ‘em titfuck her, too!”

Neb sighed and said, “My auntie, our Matron, is kinda pretty; but I gotta’ wait eight whole months! When’s your birthday, Yoll?”

My tallest and oldest buddy looked quite unhappy. “I’m 16 next week, but our Matron is Great-Granny.”

The horrid thought of geriatric sex made me queasy and turned my stomach. Timm commiserated, “Eeeew! Sorry, pal. I know all a yuns want my sister, but it’s against the law to touch girls outside your family until you’re 20 and dating. Well, except for smokers, and none of us have the cash for one.”

I craved real sex myself, even if I’d have to put up with stinky smoke, but I was poor like my buddies. I resigned myself to waiting three months, until I turned 16 and could get my first blowjob from my Matron, my Mama.

The schoolbus jerked to a stop at our corner. As we got up Neb instructed, “Grab your fish poles and stuff, and meet me by the old well. See you there soon!” After the barn near it burned down a decade before, his family filled the old well with stones to keep animals and people from falling in. It was half a kilometer or ‘kay’ from the woods where we’d camp, and the river was only a short walk beyond.

I couldn’t wait to eat some fish cooked over a campfire and sleep outdoors again! I ran down our long driveway; knowing my fish pole, knapsack, and bedroll were by my bedroom door waiting for me.

The second I stepped in the house, Mama wrecked my happy plans. “Sorry, Junior, but I got some bad news. Nellanie needs a husband. Hers kicked the bucket last week. She’s desperate for help with her farm. There’s a bad shortage of men there, so I agreed you’ll go marry her. Our Alderman gave special permission, since you’re only 15.”

“NOOOOOO! I’m not even a man yet! I don’t wanna be married! And marrying my mama’s sister! That would be incest! Yuck!”

“You two were only auntie and nephew when she lived here. She’s not my sister since she moved away. We’re just friends now. She’s in need, and we always do what we gotta do. Pack up your things and I’ll drive you.”

“But Mama! I barely even know her! I’m going fishin’ and campin’ with the guys! We been plannin’ for a month!”

“Your Papa will tell the boys. Hurry and go pack. We need to leave soon, cause it’s a long ways.” I paused, thinking of what to say, but she swatted my butt and ordered, “Now! Get goin’!”

Mama gave me the rest of the bad news on the way to Auntie, err ... Nellanie’s place. “They don’t have any men anymore, so you need to do all the liftin’ and other heavy work. I think I told you a while back, Nellanie has three spinster daughters.”

I was shocked. “Her DAUGHTERS are spinsters! Holy sheep!”

Mama scolded me, “Kylenn Wannicker Junior! You watch your language! Especially around Nell and her girls, they’re very religious. The youngest has only been a spinster a year.”

“But ... but if people become spinsters if they’re single at 25, and her KIDS are that old? She’s gotta be ANCIENT! I can’t marry an ugly old hag! Ugh!”

Mama chuckled and said, “The rules are different in Orient Southeast parish. You’ll be fine.”

I complained again, “And I have to do all the lifting and heavy chores!”

Mama just repeated the old mantra for the zillionth time, “We all gotta do what we gotta do.” She turned on the radio and I pouted quietly.

After a couple more hours on the road, I said, “I knew Orient Southeast is a long ways, but sheesh!”

“Quit complainin’. We’ll be to Southdock in two more hours, then it’s just an hour boat ride to Thigh-Land.”

“Six hours from home! That’s like 500 kay! Holy sheep!”

Mama removed her hand from the steering wheel just long enough to slap my arm. “Language!”

When we finally made it to Southdock the sun was close to the horizon, nearing dusk. I asked, “Everybody around here farms hogs or chickens, and back at home it’s beef and milk cows. What do they raise on Nell’s farm?”

Mama confused me with a smile and, “They give visitors a rise.”

“What?”

She giggled and enigmatically added, “It’s a beach farm, a tourist dairy.”

“Huh?”

She just smiled again as she parked the truck, then answered, “They’ll explain everything. Your wedding is tomorrow. Here’s a little money and your ticket for the ferry boat. Call home when you get there, so we know you made it okay.” She cried a bit and hugged me. “Make me and your papa proud. We’ll miss you. I love you so much!”

It was more than twice the distance I’d ever been from home before, and also the first time I’d be away from my family more a day. I felt a tear at the corner of my eye while I climbed out and said, “Bye, Mama. Love you, too.” I wiped my eyes as she drove away. It took me a moment to pull myself together.

I lugged my two heavy suitcases and weighty knapsack onto the ferry boat. I thought it odd the boat was less than a quarter full. There were around 50 girls and young women in swimsuits or skimpy mini-dresses, and a dozen well-dressed men over 40. Some of the guys looked 70 or even 80. The boat pulled away from the dock as Mama’s truck drove out of sight.

My long journey got even stranger as we travelled to Thigh-Land, the main island of Orient Southeast Parish. The men and young ladies talked a lot and I saw cash change hands several times. I couldn’t hear much over the noise of the waves and the ferry’s big diesel engine, but most of the girls had a cigarette or two on the way. I was with a bunch of smokers! Dozens and dozens of smokers! I thought about buying one for a quickie. 40 credits would probably be enough, but I knew I should save the 50 Mama gave me for later.