Chapter 39: Burnt

The morning air was cold against my right cheek, the pillow reassuringly warm against my left. I snuggled deeper into the covers and their cocooning heat while pressing myself against my lover’s back, my bare chest separated from her skin by only a thin layer of cotton. As my senses came alive, the fingers of my right hand reflexively squeezed the large breast I was currently palming beneath her baggy t-shirt. My left arm snaked beneath her pillow, with the hand dangling off the edge of the bed.

Breathing deeply, I let my head roll forward to push my nose into the creamy skin of her neck and inhale her sweet scent. Her jet-black hair was a silk curtain tucked beneath her head so that it did not obscure my view of her lovely face. She looked infinitely peaceful at this moment - in stark contrast to her previous morning’s expression of forlorn loss and sorrow.

I did have morning wood, and in my sleep I’d automatically nestled my banana-bent prick into the cleft of her panty-clad buttcrack. But I resisted the urge to hot-dog her buns and instead simply cuddled her close, spooning my larger figure around her slender form as if I could physically shield her from anything the world could possibly do to hurt her so painfully again.

In her sleep, Eva’s right arm cradled mine, holding it to her chest as if it was her personal teddy bear. I enjoyed the feel of her bare breast in my palm but felt no urge to fondle her in her sleep. After breathing in the smell of her a few times, I risked a glance at the clock on my nightstand and then sighed as I set my head back down on the pillow as an unfortunate realization came to mind.

It was Monday morning.

And we needed to get to class.

Fortunately, we didn’t have to get to class yet. There was still time to remain in bed - to enjoy the feel of Eva’s body nestled against mine. So I closed my eyes and let my breathing calm. Peaceful moments like this felt like they were few and far between, and should be relished whenever possible.

The NBGs had all returned home last night. I never did collect the orange or yellow thongs from Mari or Eva. As I said: we didn’t actually NEED to keep having sex just for the sake of having sex.

Our friendships with each other had been the backbone of The BTC since long before anyone broke The Rule. Even Holly just wanted to hang out and have a good time without needing to get laid again. Actually, she seemed FAR more interested in getting Eva to give her a few pointers about playing the guitar. And so the eight of us had spent the remainder of our time together... together.

No special excursions.

No special activities.

Just good friends and good conversation.

Perhaps you might think we’d have talked about everything there was to talk about by now, but if you truly think that then you seriously underestimate the ability of seven girls to come up with new conversation topics on the fly. It wasn’t yet noon when Eva confessed the full story of what happened between her and Kai, and we more or less remained right there in the living room for the next six hours or so, the only exceptions being the occasional need to use the restroom or go into the kitchen to make food.

Eva went out of her way to NOT monopolize my attention despite having just gone through an emotional wringer, insisting that I spend the hours I had left with Mari, Alice, and Holly. Still, the three NBGs wanted to spend quality time with Sam, Belle, and Naimh as well, so we ended up breaking out the board games like Pictionary, Taboo, and Blind Man’s Bluff (with the poker cards on your forehead).

Actually, that’s not really a “board” game.

Come to think of it, none of those are actually “board” games.

But at least none of us were bored.

Okay yes, that was a really bad pun. But it just goes to show what kind of a mood I was in, where everything was funny and relaxing and all I wanted to do was chill out and have a good time with my favorite people in the entire world. And for me, that was what Thanksgiving was truly about.

Alas, all good things must come to an end. And at the very end after dinner when it was time to go, Holly loaded up both Alice and Mari in her car to drop them off at the airport on her way back home.

At last the four remaining girls were talked out, and after the NBGs had left, we simply curled up together on the couches to watch a movie. My three girlfriends insisted on sitting together on one of the couches, leaving Eva and me to sit sideways across the other couch, Eva between my legs reclining back against my chest. After the movie, we all took showers and cleaned up. But when Eva made to bid us goodnight and head back to Mrs. Morris’s house, the others talked her into staying the night with me.

Truth be told: she didn’t need much convincing.

Eva borrowed one of my t-shirts to sleep in, cuddled up in my arms, and then cried her eyes out on my shoulder.

Several minutes later, when her sobs subsided and her breathing steadied, I realized she’d fallen asleep. I stroked her spine, smelled her sweet scent, and started nodding off. At some point, I realized that I had an erection, and only then did I realize I hadn’t had sex even once the entire day.

But that was okay. Some things were far more important than getting laid. So I simply held Eva close, feeling happy that I was there to support her, until sleep claimed me as well.

That was Sunday night.

Now it was Monday morning.

And all of a sudden I felt Eva grinding her ass against my morning wood.

My eyes popped open as I sharply inhaled. Looking down, I found the gorgeous hapa beauty looking back at me over her shoulder, a little smile on her lips. My fingers closed up around her naked breast, and she slid her hand over the back of mine. But after only a few seconds, she let go to spin around within my arms, tilt her head, and softly press our lips together.

Her kiss wasn’t passionate at first. She was still a little bit drowsy, only halfway out of Dreamland. But as her consciousness rose, so did her ardor. And after inhaling deeply through her nostrils, she pressed a little harder against my mouth while rolling me over onto my back, taking the dominant position and kissing down at me.

Automatically, my hands roamed up and down her nubile body. At first they simply caressed, sliding along her shoulders, arms, and back. But once my palms slipped beneath the hem of her borrowed t-shirt to find soft, naked skin, I couldn’t help but stroke her spine a little harder. And when a crooning note of arousal crept into her moan, I slid my hands down onto the bare skin of her buttcheeks and gripped them fiercely.

Eva mewled into my mouth and tilted her head the other way to renew the passion of our liplock. She slid herself fully onto me, her taut abdominals pressing down hard against my even harder erection trapped between our bellies. And she undulated herself against my tumescent tool like a sinuous snake.

Still, neither of us made any move to escalate things beyond a mere makeout session. I was only too aware that she might still be quite emotionally fragile following yesterday morning’s full confession in front of the girls. Despite having gone a full day without having sex yesterday, I didn’t feel any particular need to get off just for the sake of getting off. It was far more important to me to make her feel safe and loved and cared for, while simultaneously making clear that I didn’t need anything else from her in return.

There was a tender quality to Eva’s kiss, a gentleness I’d rarely felt from her before. Her sharp edges had gradually softened over the time I had known her, especially in the aftermath of that fateful night when I’d gone over to Mrs. Morris’s house and she’d first told me the true story about her and Kai. Still, the vast majority of our emotionally intimate moments had remained ... well “platonic” isn’t quite the right word, but neither were they particularly sexual, either. When our encounters had turned sexual, they’d been just that: sexual. Eva and I had spent a lot of time cuddling and talking, OR frenetically fucking each other’s brains out, with no real middle ground.

This morning she found the middle ground. One minute, she was sighing dreamily while rather gently caressing my lips with her own. The next minute she pulled her head up, staring down into my eyes with almost unexpectedly open brown irises.

I was so used to seeing Eva with her blue-tinted contacts that she looked like a wholly different person without them. No cat-eye sunglasses. No exotic, angular eyeshadow. No darkened lipstick to provide a sharp, almost goth contrast with her pale skin. She wasn’t dressed to impress. Her hair was mussed up. And she overall had a much ... softer ... quality.

I found myself wondering if this was the Eva she could’ve been had life not been so cruel to her: a little more open, a little less defensive, a little bit ... well... cuter.

That’s not to say I didn’t like edgy, aloof, gorgeous Eva. That version of Eva was wicked hot and sexy and powerful and dangerous in a really, really good way. But I’d always appreciated seeing the softer side of the girls I knew. And this version of Eva who looked down at me with those unexpectedly open brown irises seemed to be welcoming me in to witness her very soul.

And then she kissed me again.

This time there was definitely sexual passion in her kiss. Her eyes were open as she molded her mouth to mine, her irises simmering with heat. But her gaze lacked the desperately carnal intensity she so often had during our previous encounters. I never got the sense that her Wolverine claws were about to come out and tear my skin to shreds.

Instead she closed her eyes...

... and she opened her heart.

I really can’t describe it better than that. I couldn’t even specify any single particular action she took that was different from normal.

It was simply ... a feeling.

And from the way Eva stopped kissing me to smile and even giggle cutely just a little, I gathered that she felt the same feeling herself.

And then we moved.

Eva suddenly clutched my shoulders while my arms wrapped around her head, tugging our faces together fiercely to recapture the magical energy of our kiss. She sighed in pure contentment and parted her lips to let my tongue in, tangling hers with mine and teasing the tip before pulling back again to giggle. She stared down at me with those large, luminous brown irises that seemed to smile of their own accord. And after propping herself up on her elbows, she actually winked at me before giggling and then sliding herself straight down the length of my body.

My dick was already rock-hard between us, and as soon as Eva yanked my pajama pants down, it sprang up in front of her face as if to say, ‘Hello! Very pleased to meet you!’

Eva giggled again (I was starting to really like that sound) and then winked at me again before taking my shaft in hand and dropping her warm and welcomingly wet mouth around my mushroom head. She took almost the entire length on the first go - not trying to deep-throat me or anything, just gobble as much as she easily could. She then pulled her head back with incredible suction, at first staring downwards to focus on her task and then flicking those warm brown eyes back up to stare straight at me.

Windows to the soul.

Again I was struck with how ... open ... Eva was with me. I saw passion through those windows, as well as pain. I saw trust and affection, as well as fear and anxiety. I saw contentment and relief, as well as worry that her present contentment wouldn’t last.

And when I reached down to caress her cheek and stare straight back at her with an expression that told her I was committed to supporting her however she needed to be supported ... I could see the way her fears began to wane, to the point where she couldn’t help but smile around a mouthful of meat.

I gestured for her to come back up and kiss me, but Eva instead smiled and turned her attention downward to resume her excellent fellatio. I found myself reminded of last week when Naimh had insisted on remaining down there and keeping me in bed until my ‘wee-wee’ went down. In much the same way, I got the impression that Eva was trying to express the way she felt about me, endeavoring to provide me with pleasure while asking none for herself.

So I waggled my eyebrows suggestively and grinned at her, making clear that I’d much rather our loins be joined together than have her get me off with her mouth. And once she got the message, she gave me one final pull with her lips around the length of my prick before popping off and then sitting up straight.

“Make love to me, Matty,” she husked in a raspy, soulful voice that reminded me of her singing voice, which made her words even more melodiously sexy than they already were. Her hands crossed over her chest to grab the hem of her borrowed t-shirt and then whipped the shirt over her head, baring her boobies to my hungry gaze. She smiled down happily at the expression of delight on my face, tilting her shoulders to undulate side-to-side in a private dance just for me. And then she rolled over onto her back beside me, planting her feet and thrusting her pelvis off the bed so that she could whip her panties down and kick them off.

I didn’t waste time, grabbing the waistbands of both my pajama pants and boxer shorts to likewise whip them down my legs and kick them off. Then I quickly rolled over atop the luscious, lithe, leggy beauty beneath me and settled my loins over hers.

“Make love to me, Matty...” she crooned again, even more musical than the last, her open brown eyes inviting me in while she held my shoulders and spread her thighs apart to ... well... invite me in.

I glanced down between us just long enough to take hold of my throbbing dick and guide it to the entrance of her folds. But as soon as I felt myself notch into place, I returned my gaze to hers, watching the way her eyes widened in sympathetic harmony with my thick dick widening her most intimate entrance.

“Yesss...” Eva hissed, grinning up at me rapturously but never breaking eye contact as I buried inch after inch of myself deep within her body. “Yesss ... Yesss ... Yesss...”

She never went wild. Her claws remained retracted. She held my shoulders, but her fingers never dug in. Eva accepted all of me.

I got the feeling that she accepted all of me, and I wasn’t referring to my dick.

I wasn’t Kai. I never would be “him”. I could only ever be “Matty”, exactly as I was.

Kind. Supportive. Reassuring. Warm.

With multiple girlfriends. A bit slow on the uptake. Perhaps too passive at times. Stretched thin trying to juggle the needs of so many different girls.

Eva accepted all of me for who I was. I accepted her for exactly who she was. And she stared into my eyes with a sense of wonder - a little surprised with herself for opening up to me, for choosing to trust me, and for sharing such an intimate part of herself with me.

We made love. There was no other way to really describe it. We weren’t “fucking”, but nor were we merely “cuddling”. I didn’t hook her long, lithe legs over my shoulders so I could fold her in half and hammer the hell outta her. I didn’t flip her over face-down on the floor and pillage her pussy in a prone position. We didn’t switch positions or lustily lunge at each other with wild abandon.

We made love.

The white-hot chemistry between us was still there, but simmering at a comfortable boil rather than exploding like a flash-bang. Instead of pounding her to orgasm after orgasm, I steadily pumped for both her pleasure and mine as we continued to gaze into each other’s eyes, came together for sweetly soulful kisses, and then separated to gaze into each other’s eyes once again.

“Yesss, Matty ... Yesss...”

I found myself fascinated with the open expression on her face. She stared up at me with an almost childlike innocence, as if she were seeing the vast nighttime sky full of stars for the very first time. In that moment I felt like I could actually feel her heartbeat synchronizing with mine, so that we were one heart...

One body...

One soul.

And I knew right then and there: Eva would be in my life forever.

Just like Belle would be in my life forever.

And Naimh.

And Sam.

And Alice and Mari and Holly and Zofi.

In my head I heard Belle giggling, ‘Okay NOW you’re officially BTC!’

And Eva WAS officially BTC.

To me.

Forever.

No matter where else life might take us.

Forever.

“Yesss, Matty ... Yesss...” she crooned, clutching me a little closer.

I’d lost track of time. We might very well be late for our Monday morning classes, but I really didn’t care. All that mattered to me in this moment was the feel of Eva’s body beneath mine, the sensations of her soul surrounding me with warmth. I stared into her eyes until I felt my energy begin to drain. I kept up my rhythmic pounding but found myself gasping for breath. I set my forehead down against hers, not to rest it but rather to feel her intimate touch. And her ragged breathing matched mine as she undulated her body beneath me to synchronize our impending orgasms.

“Yesss, Matty ... Yesss...” she hummed, her voice building with tension.

“Evaaaa...” I groaned. “Evaaaa...”

“I’m close, Matty ... I’m close ... Can you feel it? Can you feel me?”

“I feel you ... I feel you ... So tight ... So warm ... So goooood...”

“Yesss, Matty! Yesss! I’m gonna cum, Matty! Cum with me! Cum with me!”

“I’m gonna cum too! I’m gonna cum too!”

“Matty! Matty! Matty! Yes! Yes! Yes! Matty I’m gonna ... AAAUUUGGGHHH!”

“HHHNNNGGGHHH!”

“AAAUUUGGGHHH!”

“HHHNNNGGGHHH!”

“AAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!”

“HHHHHNNNNNGGGGGHHHHH!!!”

When the dam burst, it felt like my very soul flooded out of my body to pour in an unending river straight into hers. My hands clutched the back of her shoulders while her arms cinched around mine, our two bodies joined together as one.

She shuddered several times, arching her back to thrust her chest up against mine. I quivered and twitched, belching more and more of my very soul deep within her center. And all the while, Eva’s warm brown eyes remained wide open, accepting all of me in.

All of my energy then left me.

And after one final Herculean push, I collapsed spineless atop Eva’s naked body beneath mine.

Despite my heavy bulk crushing her into the mattress, the lovely hapa girl seemed perfectly comfortable beneath me. She hooked her long legs around mine, her calves tugging down on mine as if trying to enjoin our two bodies just a fraction of an inch closer than we already were. She sighed with a note of complete contentment in her voice, purring with that familiar note of a serenely satisfied kitten with a full belly relaxing in a warm patch of sunlight streaming through the window.

But rather than luxuriate in the blissful mental blankness immediately following such an incredible ejaculation, I turned my face to hers to first kiss Eva’s cheek. And then summoning the energy to raise my head up, I nibbled my way across her jawline until I could stare down into her warm brown eyes once again and share that happy mutual smile of contentment with her before dipping down to give her a sweet kiss.

It had been the tenderly intimate coupling we’d never really had before, so different from all of our previous encounters. When I pulled my head up to look down at her, Eva clamped her hands down on my shoulders and cinched her calves behind mine, momentarily afraid that I was going to pull out of her. But I chuckled and quickly kissed her again, reassuring her with my gaze that I wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon, Monday morning classes be damned.

I was riding the endorphin-fueled high of post-orgasmic bliss, coupled with the sweetly satisfying tranquility of feeling so intimately connected to a girl I cared about so very much.

Which is why her next words came as such a surprise.

“I don’t love you, Matty,” Eva mumbled quietly.

There was that record scratch again. And rather than reply, I simply raised my eyebrows.

“Don’t get me wrong; I like you. I like you a lot. But I know what real love is, and this isn’t it.”

I nodded silently for a moment, but when she continued to stare up at me with an expression of grave concern, I added reassuringly, “I understand.”

“Do you?”

I blinked and arched my eyebrows again. “Well I’d like to think I do. But I’ve learned that when I tell a girl, ‘I understand’, and she immediately retorts, ‘Do you?’ I tend to feel a little less certain about myself.”

Eva gave me a wry grin and then chuckled. “I gotta give you points for trying, at least.”

“Sometimes that’s all I can guarantee: that I WILL try.”

She took a deep breath and then exhaled, and as she did so, I felt the muscles in her arms around my shoulders, her legs around my calves, and even her pussy around my prick, start to relax. She blinked, stared up at me pensively, and while the openness in her eyes didn’t completely close, they did seem to dim a bit.

“I’m not saying I could never love you,” she hedged. “With time and effort and a willingness to see where this leads, I believe I could come to love you.”

“Be still my beating heart,” I deadpanned.

“You’re teasing me.”

“A little,” I replied with a smirk.

“Please don’t tease me right now.”

“Sorry. I think I evacuated all of my brain cells into your pussy a minute ago,” I muttered before taking a deep breath to collect myself.

Eva chuckled, shook her head, and then gave me a wry grin. “There you go: reminding me of Kai again. He always acted like he’d lost all of his brain cells immediately after an orgasm.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s a trait common to ALL men, not just him and me.”

“Well the two of you are the only two men I’ve ever been with, so I don’t have a whole lot of examples for comparison.”

I took a deep breath and nodded slowly at that information. “Good to know.”

Eva paused to collect herself for a moment. She relaxed her legs from behind my calves but then immediately crossed them behind my butt, keeping our bodies locked together. She almost nervously reached up to brush a lock of sweaty hair back from her face and tucked it behind her ear. And then she stared up at me with that unexpected innocence again, her warm brown eyes and makeup free face looking so different from her typical daily appearance.

“I’m scared to lose control,” she stated softly. “I’m afraid to let go. Part of me believes that letting myself move on from Kai will doom him forever. Part of me still thinks that I’m the only being in the entire universe who will do anything to save him. Part of me feels guilty for coming here for college in the first place instead of moving heaven and earth on his behalf.”

“I’m no expert on the subject, but I think it’s completely natural to feel that way. At the same time, I know that moving here wasn’t a decision you took lightly. You told me that the incident with Makoa wasn’t the only factor in realizing you needed to move on with your life. You’d already spent a long time battling Kai’s addiction getting nowhere. He’d already made clear a hundred times that he’d chosen the drugs over you. Heroin poisoned your relationship, poisoned his love for you, and even if that thing with Makoa hadn’t happened, everyone in your life who cared about you - including Kai - was already telling you it was time to walk away before he dragged you down with him.”

“I know all that. In my head, I know it was the right decision. But at the same time, I just don’t think I’ll ever truly forgive myself for walking away.”

“That’s understandable.”

“And that’s one reason why I consider what happened to him worse than death - for ME if not for him. Because if he’d died, I feel like I could’ve buried him, mourned him, and moved on. Fuck, there was one time I found him in such bad shape that I thought he WAS dead, and so help me, I actually felt a little bit relieved thinking it was over.”

Eva’s voice cracked at the end there, and I held her tighter when she started trembling as if she couldn’t breathe. I could feel her struggling to keep it together, and all I wanted in that moment was to reassure her that I was there for her no matter what.

It took a minute, but she got her breathing back under control. Still, her eyes dimmed further. “Kai was my past. You and The BTC are my present. I know I should move on, but knowing that he’s still alive back there ... Knowing that however unlikely it seems, that maybe I COULD fly back to the island and do something to save him ... It’s like I’ll never truly be free of him.”

I took a deep breath and sighed, rubbing her upper arms. “So long as he’s alive, the part of you that loved him will continue to love him no matter what.”

“No matter what,” she muttered in agreement. A single tear rolled down her left cheek. When she blinked, several more tears rolled down from both eyes as she looked up at me. “And until I’m truly free of him, I’m afraid I’d never be able to love you the way you deserve.”

I frowned. “You don’t ever have to apologize to me. I don’t ‘deserve’ your love.”

“But you’ve been so kind and generous with me. Any other guy would’ve walked away from the bitchy outsider who came into your house and accused you of running a cult.”

I waggled my head. “In fairness, I can see where someone on the outside looking in would find parallels between The BTC and a cult.”

“Instead you welcomed me with open arms, fought to keep me included even when all of the other girls wondered why you even bothered, and I know it wasn’t just because I slept with you.”

I smirked. “Admittedly, it didn’t hurt. Good lord you’re incredible in bed.”

Eva’s eyes glinted for a moment with her old sharpness, and she raised her right hand to flash her claws at me. “Rowr.”

I grinned. “Awesome. But seriously: I’m not asking you to fall in love with me, nor do I expect it. You’ve said it yourself before: you feel safe with me, which at this moment is more important than being in love with me. And at the same time, I haven’t fallen in love with you. Despite the emotional tenderness we shared just now, that isn’t our relationship. Not yet, at least. My relationships with Neevie, Belle, and Sam have grown along with our romantic feelings for each other, whereas my relationship with you hasn’t been about that. You and I are friends - friends with benefits, yes - but what we share isn’t love.”

Eva looked relieved and nodded. “I’m really glad we’re on the same page.”

“We are,” I agreed.

“Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for making me feel safe.” Eva furrowed her eyebrows, thought about her next words, and then smiled up at me with fresh understanding. “Thank you for being whatever I need you to be.”

“That’s what I do.” I smirked and nodded before bending over to peck her lips. And when I pulled back, my grin widened as I repeated, “That’s what I do.”

The wood stair treads in this old Victorian-style house audibly creaked with every step as Eva and I descended hand-in-hand and would’ve alerted everyone in the house that we were coming. So as soon as we walked through the open kitchen doorway, Sam turned away from the gas range and greeted us warmly, “Morning, Matty! Morning, Eva!”

“Morning, Sam,” Eva greeted politely to the beautiful blonde bombshell dressed in a crisp black suit with white pinstripes, paired with a cream-colored blouse.

“Sounded like you two had a pleasant morning,” the blonde remarked with a pearly-white smile and a wink. “Matty must’ve been pretty backed up after going a whole day without.”

Eva smirked and briefly glanced down at her own crotch. “I think it’s still leaking out of me.”

“Shhh...” Sam put a finger to her lips. “If Belle hears you, she’s liable to drag your pants down right here in the kitchen and go hunting.”

Eva waggled her head and giggled at me. “I suppose there are worse ways to start off a school day. Although I realistically don’t have the time. I need to run back to my room to change and everything before class.”

Sam nodded her understanding. “Want to grab something quick to eat?”

“No time for that either; takes too long to put my face on. I’ll be fine.” Eva leaned over to give me a quick peck on my cheek. “See you later, cowboy.”

“Bye,” I replied warmly, sad to see her go but happy to watch her leave.