Chapter 11: The R-word

Belle grabbed my dick and shoved it into Lily’s snatch, but fortunately, there’s not much in the way of elasticity in a hard dick, and the act of grabbing a man’s hard dick and trying to physically shove it forward doesn’t really work very well when said man is lying flat on his back with his ass flat on the mattress. Perhaps if she’d grabbed Lily and tried to yank the girl down onto my dick she would’ve been more successful, but that’s not what she tried.

Belle didn’t have enough leverage to force my entire torso along the bed and her hand slipped along my shaft, so at best she merely managed to cram about an inch of dick into Lily’s folds: the top of my mushroom head and nothing else.

‘Just the tip’, basically.

It was enough to stretch Lily’s labia and make her squeak in surprise, though, and she quickly scrambled forward and off my dick before twisting around in shock at what had just happened. Was it enough to declare that Lily was technically no longer a virgin? I honestly didn’t care one way or the other at the moment. All I cared was that Belle had tried to take away Lily’s choice in the matter, and take away MY choice in the matter too, and that was NOT OKAY.

“B, what the hell!” I exclaimed, staring daggers at my so-called ‘little sister’ as I sat up straight.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” she stammered with wide eyes, clapping her hands against her cheeks like Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone. “I don’t know why I did that!”

“You don’t know?!?” I raged before repeating even more incredulously, “YOU DON’T KNOW?!?”

“I just wanted to see it go in!”

Lily had scrambled into a seated position between me and Naimh, and the redhead quickly wrapped her arms around Lily quite protectively. I was a little more occupied being angry at what Belle had just done, and if the tone and volume of my voice didn’t make it clear enough just how livid I was, I was sure my expression did.

“YOU HAD NO RIGHT!” I thundered.

“I know! I know! It was an accident!”

“You accidentally grabbed my dick and tried to shove it into Lily’s pussy?!? What kind of fucked-up bestie does THAT?!?”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Belle wailed, turning her attention to Lily. “I really have no idea what came over me! I was just so horny and turned on watching you grind on top of him! You said you wanted to feel it and then you got yourself situated on him all ready to go and I just ... I know I shouldn’t have done that. I know it! I just ... I don’t ... I thought I was helping?! Helping you overcome your fear? Maybe?! I’m so sorry!”

“It’s okay, B,” Lily interjected, leaning forward until Naimh released her, and she interposed herself between me and Belle. I was still pretty hot and feeling rather... betrayed ... but Lily put a hand against my chest to keep me from moving any further forward while also reaching out to rub Belle’s knee.

For her part, Belle sat cross-legged and buried her face in her hands, shaking and sobbing. Not to be self-centered or anything, but I figured that my livid expression reminded her of the time I’d taken away her house key, and the PTSD trauma of that event was probably scaring her more than any fear she may have had over possibly ruining her friendship with Lily. Really, I was even more apoplectic at the moment than I’d been about the whole house key thing. And she might’ve had good reason to fear my wrath more than fear losing Lily, because as it turned out, Lily didn’t even seem all that upset, just a little surprised.

“It’s okay, B,” Lily repeated as I scowled but allowed her to push me back. She removed her hand from my chest and then turned towards her bestie, reaching up with both hands to pry Belle’s off of her own face and squeeze them reassuringly. “I’m not mad at you. It’s really okay.”

“Y-you’re ... you’re not mad?” Belle asked in disbelief.

“You didn’t do anything I hadn’t already thought of a million times,” Lily said reassuringly. “Even now, a part of me wishes you could’ve pushed all of him into me. I wanted him in me. I wanted to feel it. I just chickened out. I wanted to but ... but... A pau...” She sighed, her pidgin seeming to express deep disappointment in herself.

“I knew you wanted it. I knew it...” Belle bawled. “But not like that. Not like this. Not on a random Tuesday morning. We were horny, right? But you told me you didn’t want it like this.”

“Not like this,” Lily agreed, shaking her joined hands with Belle to emphasize her words. “Not like this.”

“But we know how to do it, right?” Belle sniffled and wiped her eyes while sitting up straight. And after sharply inhaling her dribbling snot and then wiping her nose, she took on a serious expression and stated, “Then let’s do it. Let’s do it right. Before I lose my head and do something stupid again.”

Lily gave her bestie a wry grin. “Isn’t the point for me to get out of my head and let myself ... well ... let myself do something stupid?”

“Being with Matty would never be stupid,” Belle insisted. She sniffled again and wiped her eyes with the back of her wrist. “But seriously, we gotta do it.”

Naimh and I exchanged a look, both of us feeling like we were missing the key part of the whole puzzle, and her confuzzled expression actually made me feel a bit relieved that this wasn’t just me being a stupid, clueless male about the whole thing. Still, I returned my gaze to Belle while shaking my head in frustration and reached forward to grab her forearm to get her attention.

“Gotta do what?” I asked in exasperation.

Belle rolled her eyes and glared at me as if I were the densest moron in the history of Planet Earth, apparently having forgotten already how mad I was at her a minute ago. “C’mon, Matty. We talked about this already.”

“Talked about what?”

“A date, Matty,” Lily said brightly, giving me a beaming smile that for once didn’t have an ounce of nervousness along with it. “I wanna give you my virginity. You wanted me to be sure, and I’m sure of it now. But Belle’s right: I’ve thought of this for a long time, and I wanna make sure we do it right.”

I blinked. “Why am I getting a feeling of déjà vu right now?”

Belle smirked. “You know why.” And then she pumped her fist into the air so that I could practically hear her saying, ‘Team Belle!’ even though she didn’t actually say a word.

“You’ll recall that date was a total disaster,” I muttered with a sigh.

Belle shrugged. “Well a lot of things went wrong, I’ll admit. But the most important thing that mattered turned out just fine.”

“What are they talking about?” Lily asked uncertainly, glancing back at Naimh.

Naimh smiled and explained, “Belle’s told you about Mari, right? Her high school best friend? Matty took Mari out on what was supposed to be a really sweet romantic date with the end goal of ... well ... Uh ... You know, the phrase ‘taking her virginity’ just sounds... crude.”

“Mari wanted to make love for the first time,” Belle clarified. “And she’d always known she wanted it to be with him. So we spent a lot of time prepping and planning and even if some of the date stuff went horribly wrong like Matty’s van breaking down on the freeway and the whole issue with the restaurant reservations, I mean, that stuff’s not gonna happen again.”

“Don’t jinx it,” I muttered.

“The point is: I have some experience planning this sort of thing and I can help you make it the best night ever,” Belle continued, keeping her focus on Lily. “I want to help you make it the best night ever.”

“I know you do. That’s why I’m not mad at you,” Lily said sincerely. “You’re excitable and impulsive and I get why Matty gets aggravated with you sometimes. But at the end of the day, I know your heart is in the right place. You’ve been absolutely amazing, B. I really don’t deserve you.”

“Of course you deserve me,” Belle insisted. “You’re my new bestie. And this is just what best friends do.”

So after all that, despite waking up to find a pretty girl doing her very best to deep-throat my dick, and then having another pretty girl actually succeed at deep-throating my dick, and then making out with a third pretty girl before returning to the first girl and suckling on her big boobies while the second girl continued sucking my dick, I never actually got to cum.

I’d lost my erection in my anger at Belle and even if the two little shorties patched things up and affirmed their “besties” friendship, the mood wasn’t conducive to continuing. Besides, it was a Tuesday morning and two of the girls needed to get to class.

So the four of us got up and got dressed. Blessed as I was with a Y-chromosome, I finished first and headed downstairs while Belle and Lily went to freshen up in the upstairs bathroom and Naimh followed me down but went into the downstairs bathroom.

Sam was already in the kitchen making brekkie for everyone, smartly dressed for class in a pastel yellow blouse today to go along with her black suit. We shared a fierce kiss that put some fresh starch into my undischarged dick. But while my ultra-hot girlfriend was happy to dry-hump herself against my erection, she finally patted my bulge and then backed away, saying, “Sorry but I need to run.”

I sighed in mild disappointment but nodded my understanding.

Sam pecked my lips and then pecked my cheek, saying, “Love you, Matty.”

“Love you too,” I replied as she collected her bag and then started for the door, although I couldn’t help calling after her, “You know some college freshmen only take four or five classes instead of seven!”

“None of those college freshmen are me!” she called back with a laugh. I heard her zipping up her ankle boots, and a minute later she was gone.

Sam had finished cooking everything and I knew she’d been nibbling along the way to feed herself, but she left it to me to set the table and bring out the dishes. I busied myself doing just that, and the girls started arriving just as I finished.

I wouldn’t say that I was cranky just because I hadn’t gotten my rocks off - I was still more upset with Belle than anything else - but getting blue-balled certainly wasn’t helping my mental clarity or my social graces and I pretty much ate my breakfast in silence. Also not helping was that Belle and Lily acted like nothing had happened this morning - they sat at the table, the same bubbly, giggly girls feeding off each other’s buoyant energy that they always were. Naimh was quite amiable but a tad more subdued, happy to chat with the girls but a little more cognizant of my less-than-enthusiastic mood.

Unfortunately, there was no time for Naimh to do anything about it as she and Lily both needed to get going to their morning classes. Belle and I assured them that we could take care of the dirty dishes, Naimh gave me a goodbye smooch and a sympathetic hand squeeze, and then she and Lily headed off to campus together.

All that remained were me and Belle: a pair of college freshmen who had NOT enrolled in seven courses and did NOT have early-morning classes on Tuesdays.

There were frying pans to clean and dishes to put away, so for the next several minutes, Belle and I puttered around the dining room and kitchen on autopilot, working in utter silence without the need to chit-chat. I parked myself at the sink soaking the frying pans and doing the dishes while Belle finished bringing in everything from the dining table. We usually let dirty dishes pile up until the evening after dinner to just run one big load in the dishwasher, but I was in a mood to wash everything by hand today.

Tuesday mornings had always been time for me and Belle to spend one-on-one time together while everyone else was at school. As you can imagine, that one-on-one time frequently involved getting naked and fucking each other’s brains out, followed by intimate cuddling with her head on my chest while we talked about whatever came to mind.

But I didn’t want to do all that with Belle today.

I didn’t feel like Belle deserved all that today.

Lily may have shrugged off Belle’s impulsive actions like they were no big deal, but -I- hadn’t. Belle had done something that could’ve gone very, very wrong. Perhaps her actions weren’t on the same level as mass genocide, inhumane torture, or anything like that. Perhaps she hadn’t been willfully malicious. But still, she’d ... she’d...

She’d misbehaved.

And I wasn’t ready to forgive her just yet.

Tell the truth: Belle had been misbehaving for a while now. Going back to wearing the butt plug and trying to seduce me despite The BTC’s solidarity in having a sex boycott, freezing out Holly, or any of the other shit she’d pulled, Belle wasn’t exactly known for subsuming her own desires and putting others’ needs first. I would love her for the rest of my life, but she could also be exasperating, mischievous, disruptive, and downright... naughty.

I didn’t really want to think of the word ‘naughty’ right now. For some reason, the thought of Belle being ‘naughty’ made me want to bend her over a living room couch’s armrest, yank her panties down, and spank the hell out of her. But if I did that, I’d want to whip out my dick and fuck the hell out of her immediately after, and like I said: she didn’t deserve that today.

So instead I hand-washed the dishes.

The plates didn’t really need to be polished both front and back as much as I did, but I polished them anyway.

Individual forks didn’t need to be cleaned between their tines with as much thoroughness as I did, but I cleaned between their tines anyway.

Juice glasses didn’t need to be both washed and then dried to ensure that they were absolutely spotless, but I made sure they were absolutely spotless anyway.

All of this took time, obviously, not to mention a good bit of wasted soap and water. But I didn’t care. I didn’t want to talk to Belle at the moment. So I just kept washing.

And Belle kept waiting.

I didn’t turn to look at her over my shoulder, but I knew she was standing by the doorway. I could hear her sighing every now and again, but she didn’t interrupt me. She didn’t try to hurry along my process. She merely...

... waited.

And she waited.

And she waited.

Eventually, there was nothing more to clean. I’d put all the dishes away in the dishwasher as if it were a drying rack and washed the frying pans as well. My fingertips were wrinkly, and my skin felt dry and ready to crack as I wiped them with a dish towel. I wished that I had taken seven courses this semester or at least an early-morning Tuesday class so that I could walk out the door and put a few more hours between myself and the young woman waiting behind me. But with a long, deep breath and an even longer exhalation, I finally turned around to face her.

“I know the words ‘I’m sorry’ aren’t good enough,” she muttered quietly, her eyes rimmed red and still moist from recent crying. “But I’m sorry.”

“You’re right: ‘Sorry’s’ not good enough,” I told her with a frustrated shake of my head as I hung up the dish towel and then angrily stalked straight towards the kitchen doorway.

“Matty, please.” The pint-sized pixie stepped directly in front of me, her hands turned palms-up.

I simply took hold of her upper arms and physically moved her to the side while I stepped around her to get through the doorway. And as soon as I got through, I turned and started jogging up the stairs.

“I’m sorry,” she called as she followed after me. Her feet hit the stair treads just a few seconds after mine as she jogged as well. “I didn’t mean to ... and you didn’t actually ... Oh, come on! This wasn’t premeditated! It was a lapse in judgment! Lily’s perfectly fine with what happened. Why can’t you be?”

I rolled my eyes as I hit the top of the stairs and stomped into my bedroom, annoyed that she had the gall to get upset with me when she was the one in the wrong here. Had she continued to meekly cry and look apologetic, I probably would’ve calmed down sooner than later and maybe even invited her to come put her head on my chest so we could talk things out. But now?

I shook my head in disgust and muttered without turning to face her, “Just because Lily’s fine with your betrayal doesn’t make it right.”

“Betrayal? What betrayal?” she complained as she followed me into my room. “I’m not saying what I did was right, but I didn’t betray anybody.”

“You betrayed ME!” I barked while spinning around. She’d been right on my heels and stopped short just of my chest and looked up to see me glaring down at her. Something she saw snapped her head back as if I’d physically struck her.

“Wait, what?” She genuinely looked like she had no idea what I was talking about.

I held up a single finger in her face. “Number One: you tried to take away Lily’s choice of when and under what circumstances to lose her virginity. She had her chance. The opportunity was there if she wanted to take it. We all know I would’ve let her had she wanted to sink herself down onto me, but I saw it in her eyes that she wasn’t ready, and--”

“And she wasn’t gonna do it herself!” Belle interjected. “You don’t know the conversations we’ve been having for weeks about this. You don’t know the fear that’s paralyzed her for years about this stuff. She went into vapor lock and couldn’t bring herself to sit down on you because she’s always gone into vapor lock when it comes right down to it. She’s never gonna sink herself down onto you. Never. It’s a mental hurdle she’s not gonna overcome.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I know that. She’s my best friend. Well, we’re not BFF quite yet the way I was with Mari, but still. Lily and I have been peas in a pod for months now and she’s been quite willing to talk about all this stuff with me. I’m telling you, Matty, she’s never gonna sink herself down onto you, no matter how much she wants it. She’s too scared. You’re gonna have to do that yourself, and more to the point, she wants you to do it.”

“I’m calling bullshit. Lily’s not going to die a virgin, and at this rate it’s unlikely she’s going to make it through the semester still a virgin, even though that would be totally cool with me if that’s what she wants. It’s her choice and I’m NOT gonna push myself into her. That’s not how I roll.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake: you push yourself into all of us all the time. You even push yourself into us while we’re fucking asleep.”

“Because I have your express...” I began before the lightning bolt hit my brain and I realized what she meant, and then I finished lamely, “Oh.”

“That’s the whole point of this Mari-like romantic date thing. Déjà vu? Lily flat out said she wants to give you her virginity and that she wants to make sure you two do it right. She’s giving you express permission to push yourself into her, and gawddammit, I need you to push yourself into her!”

I closed my eyes and held up both hands in front of my face, pumping them twice to get Belle to stop. “Okay fine. Now I’m gonna grant you that if Lily gives me express permission and we do a whole romantic date thing, I’ll be perfectly fine with pushing myself into her. But that’s still a hypothetical date intended to take place at some point in the future. That’s Lily making a choice of when and under what circumstances to lose her virginity. That is NOT you grabbing my dick on a random Tuesday morning and trying to shove me into her!”

Belle blanched, gave me a weak smile, and then mumbled, “Lapse in judgment.”

“That’s a big fucking lapse in judgment, B.” I scowled and then raised my index finger again, repeating, “You tried to take away Lily’s choice to lose her virginity after a romantic date with me.”

“She would’ve been perfectly fine getting it out of the way with you this morning,” Belle countered. “She was HOT and ready to go right then and there. The whole romantic date idea was just my idea to help put her in the right frame of mind, but if it had happened this morning, I guarantee you she would’ve loved it and not looked back with any regret.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, B.” I rubbed my forehead and sighed. Clearly, she wasn’t getting it.

“I’m gonna grant you for a second here that maybe Lily doesn’t see the situation as you taking away her choice, which is why she isn’t mad at you. But Number Two,” I stated flatly while raising my middle finger to join the first, “you took away my choice. You betrayed me. I’d made a decision: a decision to NOT push myself into her and take Lily’s cherry on a random Tuesday morning. I’d looked into her eyes and seen that while she’d be okay with me pushing into her, in my opinion she didn’t want it to be that way. I promised her I wouldn’t do that unless she was a hundred percent sure, and she wasn’t a hundred percent sure. I’d mentally decided ‘no’. And the way I see it, you tried to rape me by proxy.”

Shaking my head, I scowled and pushed past Belle. I felt hot (like steam coming out of my ears hot) and I needed to cool off. I marched straight to the bathroom, turned on the cold water at the sink, and then bent forward to splash my face a few times. I felt thirsty so I grabbed the rinse cup, filled it to the brim, and then chugged its contents in a single long pull. And then with my face still dripping wet, I slammed the cup down on the counter, planted my hands against the countertop’s bullnose edge, and bent forward so that the water dripping off my face would fall into the sink, panting heavily.