Chapter 2: Sparks

”Еб твою мать, блин!”

Nobody, except Ensign Sato, could make any sense of Commander Tucker’s latest outburst, when he ran off the bridge, so naturally all eyes were fixed on Hoshi with an unspoken request to explain.

“You don’t wanna know,” Hoshi answered the glances. Captain Archer had a sense of déja-vu.

A slight shudder of the ship made the bridge crew aware of the fact that Enterprise had unexpectedly dropped out of warp and turned their attention away from Trip’s new-found language skills for a moment.

“T’Pol,” Captain Archer ordered and tilted his head in the direction of the turbo lift. “Lieutenant Reed, you have the bridge.”

“Aye, Sir.”

“Any idea what Trip’s little outburst was all about?” Archer asked as they walked towards engineering. “That sounded like Russian.”

“It would be a logical conclusion. Commander Tucker mentioned that his second forefather Anthony Tucker lived in Russia.”

“A Tucker in Russia?” Archer asked back in disbelief.

“According to Commander Tucker it had something to do with ... a ‘gal’ from Anadyr,” T’Pol explained with an elevated eyebrow, while Captain Archer laughed about her stilted use of human slang.

“Hoshi looked quite embarrassed, so maybe it’s really better not to know, what Trip said,” Archer mused as they reached the entrance of engineering. They were just in time to see Trip dive away from an exploding EPS conduit, while a fountain of sparks scorched his uniform.

”Ебанный в рот!” Trip swore as he scrambled to get on his feet again.

“I never heard you cuss a blue-streak in Russian before,” Archer said bewildered, while lending Trip a hand.

“Well, I’ve never been pissed off like that before,” Trip returned angrily. “Seriously, next time we’re on Jupiter Station, I’ll boot some of those dimwits out the nearest airlock.”

“Maybe it would be in the interest of all involved if you reverted back to speaking Russian,” T’Pol delivered deadpan. Trip was the only one, who got the amusement attached to it, courtesy of their bond.

“No, really,” Trip continued in exasperation. “What’s the use of being capable of warp 5.5, if half of engineering blows up every time we try to give ‘er the beans? I can’t believe how they jury-rigged the damn EPS grid. That’s the sort of shit you’d expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. Those guys are supposed to be engineers. If someone of my team delivers such a crap, he’ll be sawing through the latrines with a tooth brush.”

“Enough, Trip!” Archer interrupted his rant, but couldn’t keep a smile off his face. He knew that Trip’s language could get colorful, but he had not heard him swear like that before. He was sure that T’Pol had not understood half of it. “What’s the problem?”

“Watch this,” Trip explained and opened a schematic of the EPS grid. “They couldn’t expand this power line, so they jury-rigged a bypass without installing stronger conduits. That’s OK up to 5.2, but as soon as we go faster, the shit goes flyin’ and hits the fan.”

T’Pol’s mind started calculating a useable meaning for a metaphor of airborne excrement colliding with a primitive rotating air conditioning device, but she came up short.

“Can we correct it?” Archer asked.

“Yeah, but that’ll mean double shifts for at least a week and we’ll run short on spares in the process.”

“T’Pol will assist you with that. I’ll contact Gardner that we’re returning to Jupiter station to pick up spares. We might just as well send the crew on shore leave, while we’re at it. Has been a while anyways.”

“Like the sound of ‘at, Cap’n. Just make sure none of these imbeciles touches my engines ever again.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Archer answered with a grin and left engineering.

“Looks like we got a lotta work to do, darlin’”

“Indeed,” T’Pol answered and decided against berating him for his unprofessional address while on duty. He was irritated enough already.

“May I?” T’Pol asked, carrying a tray of food.

“Of course,” Hoshi nodded and indicated the free seat on the opposite side of the table. “Where’s Commander Tucker?”

“He remained in engineering. It is often unwise to interrupt him, when he is ... repairing ... his engines. I’ll take some food to him when I return to engineering.”

Hoshi let out a giggle. Commander Tucker’s influence on the resident Vulcan was hard to miss.

“Would you assist me with a linguistic problem, Ensign?”

“Sure, Commander.”

“I am experiencing difficulties to understand some of Commander Tuckers more colorful phrases, like his recent metaphor of excrement colliding with a fan.”

Hoshi choked on her sandwich, desperately trying not to laugh out loud. “That is one of the more mature selections, Commander.”

“I suspected that. Commander Tuckers speech was quite ... animated.”

“That’s putting it mildly,” Hoshi answered and a blush crept up her face, when she remembered Trip’s Russian swearing.

“Would you explain, what Commander Tucker expressed in Russian?”

“No way,” Hoshi answered with a shocked expression. “I really meant it, when I said that you don’t wanna know what it means. Russian swearing can be somewhat ... ripe.”

“I see. I suppose it is better for all involved, that the universal translator did not manage to translate it.”

“Well, such phrases have been left out deliberately,” Hoshi answered with a sigh of relief. “Regarding these ... colorful phrases, I’ll set up a database for you, Commander. You can add new phrases, whenever you encounter them and I’ll help you make sense of them.”

“Thank you, Ensign. I expect that Commander Tucker will be a constant source of them.”

“No doubt about that,” Hoshi answered with a smile. “How about meeting in my quarters after the shift? We can go through the phrases that you didn’t understand.”

“That sounds agreeable, although we may not cover all the phrases. You will, after all, need some time to rest before your next shift.”

Hoshi giggled, while T’Pol regarded her with an amused eyebrow lift. Commander Tucker had definitely rubbed off on the Science Officer.

“I apologize for the delay,” T’Pol said, when Hoshi indicated her to enter her quarters. “Cleaning up after a double shift in engineering took considerably longer than expected.”

Hoshi grinned. If the Commander’s glow was any indication, she had not been alone in the shower and not only been cleaning herself.

“It’s OK, Commander. Have you brought the phrases?”

“Yes. The first one refers to someone ‘going primate excrement’,” T’Pol explained, poking her PADD.