Chapter 40: Lyuba’s Plight

I woke up with a substantial head ache, and a very full bladder. I staggered into the bathroom and I thought I would never get out of it again. That had to be the longest piss I had ever taken in my life. When I shuffled back into the bedroom, Esther had already prepared a glass of water with an Aspirin noisily dissolving in it - well, noisily for me. Even the light from outside seemed to be a bit loud at the moment.

“So, what’s the verdict,” I groaned and downed the drink she had handed me. “None of my limbs seem to be broken, which I take as an indication that you didn’t need to call in the cavalry.”

“You don’t remember much, do you?” Esther asked with chuckle.

“Try nothing,” I admitted. “Oksana came to me to rant that I was stark raving mad. I ended up playing with her boobs a bit and I slurped beer out of her belly button, but that’s where the movie ends.”

“Well, we’ve learned that you’re actually funny as hell when you’re drunk,” Esther said giggling. “I suppose ‘Thomas the Tank Engine’ is a British or an American thing? Anyway, after choo-choo’ing Oksana to two orgasms, you went into the tunnel with me two more times. And before you worry, you were an absolute star. You seem to have your gentle style hard-wired in your brain, because I don’t think you were all that lucid. You were as good as ever. I’ve had a few drunk guys in my bed over the years, and none of them spent half an hour on foreplay.”

“Goodness me,” I sighed as I held my head. Well, the advertisement slogan that an Aspirin could deal with a headache in only eight seconds was definitely at best partially true. “Shit, I had sex with Oksana?”

“Is that a bad thing?” Esther asked.

“Well, Lyuba told me she was going naked just for me, and she even gave me a blowjob in the morning. But I had the feeling that was as far as she wanted to go.”

Esther snorted and then she started to chuckle. “Ian, Lyuba, Oksana and Svetlana didn’t go on vacation for a reason. You will become acquainted with all of them quite intimately over the next two weeks, and with that crazy plan of yours, they will all watch over you like mother hens.”

“A forth mother hen should be somewhere between Brno and Bratislava right now,” I said with a look at the clock. “Ira is on the way here.”

“And a good thing too,” Esther said with a concerned look. “Ian, what you are trying there is risky. Ira is the only one who can talk you out of it if one or two attempts go sideways.”

“I have to do it,” I insisted. “I like Lyuba a lot, and she has had a horrible life, while I was ironing the wrinkles out of my ball sack for sheer boredom. I’m not Jesus. I can’t go to the cross for all the sins of the world, but if I can make just one wrong right, it is worth suffering some discomfort. For heavens sake, my biggest problem in life was a jammed espresso machine in 1998!”

“Don’t you forget your parents?” Esther reminded me.

“Well, it wasn’t an event I would have to pay entertainment tax for,” I said. “But dad died while doing what he loved the most, and he knew the risk. And besides, there is a reason why most people don’t die flying their own private aircraft. They will never be in a position to have one in the first place.”

“You are feeling guilty about your wealth?” Esther asked me.

“In a way I do,” I admitted. “I didn’t earn it. I inherited it. I did absolutely nothing to deserve it. For once in my life I want to do something that can’t be solved by throwing money at it.

“I obviously can’t talk you out of it,” Esther said in a sad voice and she shrugged. “So all I can do is wish you the best of luck. That room you want should be ready by the evening. We just have to take a few pieces of furniture out and hang a red lamp in the window.”

Even six beers the night before do not have much of a nutritional value, so I made my way to Lyuba’s bar, but Oksana was waiting for me instead. I felt a bit self-conscious, having been told I had buggered her every which way the day before, but she gave me a smile that could light up a room.

“Do I need to apologise for something?” I asked, somewhat insecurely.