Chapter 5

(Author’s Note: This chapter and the next include some more detailed combat with rolls; the whole story won’t be like this since it’s a little slow-moving, it’s just setting the scene for how the game works.)

“The villages of western Norhassel are in trouble,” I said, putting on my DMing monologue voice. “The war against the Dark Tyrant has been raging for eight gruelling years in the east, and the attention of the realm’s kings, dukes and knights have been turned towards that cause for long enough that the west, once a peaceful and bounteous region of resources worked by the smallfolk, has slowly slipped into shambles. Patrols of the King’s Men no longer watch the roads. Generations of adventurous young men have been recruited from their homes into the army. Some will return, hopefully, at the end of the war - that has always been the hope. But as the years wore on, and bandits stalked the highways, and rumours of monsters spotted in the deep woods spread from village to village, life has become worn down. This is the land through which you are travelling.”

I pulled out a map of the region that I had designed - it was a rough drawing, like something they would have gotten scrawled on a parchment by an innkeeper and not a fancy map from a cartographer. “You have been travelling the King’s Way, here, towards the village of Tremulous Crook, bearing a message for the Headswoman who manages the affairs of Duke Unger, whose land this is. You have, however, come upon one of the many problems that plague travellers these days.”

I looked at Rhia. “Olivia of Parnasus,” I said. “You were thirsty and turned to grab your waterskin from the side of your pack, and that brief moment is what saved your life as the crossbow bolt tugs at your hair, passing right through the space your face was in a moment before, and thunking into your pack. What do you do?”

Rhia blinked, and then shook her head as she tried to get into character with the Hot Start I had planned. “Bandits!” she said, affecting a slight British accent that was pretty common for people starting out in fantasy roleplaying. Then she mimed drawing a sword and looked at the others. “Watch your butts, ladies!”

That got a couple of chuckles and snorts from the others, and I called for them to roll initiative to set their turn order. Elyse had gotten a quick primer from Tori, but I still coached her so she knew what I was asking of her. Once I had the turn order sorted, I turned to Tori.

“As soon as you heard the thunk of the crossbow bolt burying into Olivia’s pack, Jade, your lightning-fast reflexes kicked in. You can see two men stepping out onto the road ahead of you, each of them wielding woodsman axes menacingly, and a quick glance behind you shows a woman armed with a large knife doing the same. What would you like to do?”

Tori worked her jaw for a second and I could tell she was making that last-minute decision what her character would sound like. “Can I see where the varmint with the crossbow is?” she asked, affecting a southern drawl.

I had her roll a Perception check, but she rolled low.

“No dice,” I said. “They shot from somewhere in the trees around you and you can’t see them.”

“Alright,” Tori said. “Then I leap forward, rushing towards the two men ahead of us and yell, ‘One be’ind, and a coward in the bushes!’ Can I reach the two men?”

“Absolutely,” I said.

“Awesome. I want to jump the last few feet and use my Wuju-style to dropkick the first one right in the fucking face!” Tori grinned. Hearing those words, out of her, in the accent she was using was a bit of a trip.

“First we need to know what you look like when you do it,” I said. “I assume all your characters are dressed about how you gals are, but Jade is the first Harefolk player character that’s ever shown up in Firth, so you get to tell me how Rabbity or Persony they are. Are we talking humans with ears, or like Peter Rabbit where you’re almost all rabbit and just wear some clothes?”

“Oh, I’m definitely, like, Lola Bunny ratio,” Tori said. “Big hare feet, powerful humanoid legs and torso, but covered in light fur. Boobs are obvious under my leather top. But my head is mostly cute rabbit girl, and big floppy ears like I’m wearing.”

“You’re such a furry,” Rhia teased her.

“Am not!” Tori laughed. “You can’t tell me Lola Bunny in the original Space Jam didn’t open up some bisexual curiosity in pretty much every girl.”

“I’m not saying she didn’t,” Rhia smirked. “But you came up with those fancy, high-quality ears pretty fast.”

Tori did blush then. “Well, my older brother is kind of a furry,” she said. “When I came up with the idea, I asked him about getting them, and he had like ... contacts. I’m honestly a little worried about how fast he got me exactly what I was looking for.”

“Alright,” I said. “So you run up faster than either of the men expect and you leap up with your big, powerful feet into a drop kick. If we were seeing this in a comic book, it’s a shot of you flying through the last few feet in the air, about to kick this bandit’s teeth in. ‘Jade Highkick’ is splashed across the page. Tell us what her nickname is, and then make your attack roll.”

“Ooh,” Tori said, and then clucked her tongue rapidly as she quickly thought of it. “Jade’s nickname is definitely ‘Stonefoot’ because of how hard she kicks.”

“Doesn’t that sound like she’s slow, though?” Elyse asked.

“Damn, yeah,” Tori said. “OK. Her nickname is ‘Steel-toe’ because she kicks like she’s wearing steel-toe boots.”

“Awesome,” I said, writing it down in my notes.

Tori rolled her dice and quickly checked her sheet. “My unarmed strike is an eighteen.”

“Nice!” I said. “As you fly at the bandit you can see he’s grimy, and has probably spent weeks out here in the wilds, but he’s wearing a fairly nice and clean leather jerkin - other than the patched stab wound and stain of blood on it. Roll damage.”

Tori rolled again and did the math quickly. “Six points of damage.”