Chapter 19: Yes, Your Majesty

I ARRIVED AT THE EMBASSY promptly, got the Ambassador’s photo, and swung back to Arbuckle house to pick up the rest of my family. We packed all our belongings and the limo driver told us he was at our disposal for the week. He said he would be staying in Stockingford and would give us his phone number so we could call on him any time we needed to go somewhere. I thought that was a little excessive, but maybe some of the family would want to do some sightseeing.

It was a little under three hours up to Plympford, so we arrived soon after noon. When the driver pulled up to the porte-cochère, a staid butler approached the car to open the door for us. Before he had it fully open, Jane and Audrey came bounding out the massive main doors. I stepped out of the limo and into their arms. I had to settle them down in order to get my family out of the car. Each of them was greeted with just as much enthusiasm, though perhaps more restrained kisses.

“You came! You came! I’m so happy you were able to get here for the wedding,” Jane said. “I can’t believe you have your whole family with you. You must be Ronda and you Anna. Oh, Patricia and Toni, of course. You’ve added one!”

“Lady Jane Monroe of Plympford, may I present my family, most of whom you have correctly identified. The baby is our daughter Alex. Family, Lady Jane and her um ... handmaiden, Audrey.”

“Jane! I’m a handmaiden now!” Audrey laughed.

“And there will be no Lady Jane this week,” Jane said. “I know you are all familiar with the relationship Nate and I have had. I could scarcely be more than Jane to his wives.”

“Thank you, Jane,” Ronda said. “You are every bit as beautiful as your pictures have led us to believe. And you, Audrey. I adore the photo of you at the standing stones.”

“It was such a freezing day,” Audrey said. “I’m so thankful I had Nate and Jane to take care of me.”

“Oh, Patricia, you are also as beautiful as your pictures,” Jane said. “May I please hold the baby? I have so little experience with children and I want to practice.”

“I know you want to hold Nate’s child,” Patricia said.

“Oh, we do need to talk about that,” Jane said, taking Alex from her mother. Toni edged right up beside her to make sure everything was okay. “But not right now. Vincent, please have the Harts’ bags taken to their room,” she said. “We’re going straight to the solar.”

“Yes, ma’am,” the butler said.

“We probably need the baby bag with us,” Anna said. “I know she’ll want to eat soon and she’s probably wet by now.”

Audrey grabbed the baby bag and looped her other hand through Anna’s arm.

“You’re all the moms, aren’t you! That’s so wonderful! Toni, have you ever been in a castle before?” Audrey asked.

“Is there a dragon?” Toni responded.

“Oh my! Has the dragon been fed, Jane?”

“Don’t frighten the children, Audrey,” Jane reprimanded. “Or their parents. We have some dogs, Toni. Will that do?”

Toni clapped her hands and commenced to look through every doorway we passed to see if a dog was there. We went up to the room Jane called the solar on the second floor.

“Oh, this is where you took Kathleen’s photo last year,” Patricia said when she saw the room.

“Yes. Jane took a photo of Damien just over there. You have that hung, Jane?”

“Here,” she said pointing. “What do you need for changing the baby, Patricia? Should we go to the loo or to your room?”

“We might need water, so the um ... lavatory would be best,” Patricia said. She and Jane immediately left and Audrey turned to us as substitute hostess.

“I swear, Jane has been working herself into a lather about having a baby,” Audrey said. “Ah, here comes the food and drink. You drove all the way from London? I’m sure you need a little something to hold you until dinner. Angie has some crumpets and your choice of coffee, tea, or fizzy pop. We knew Nate would want coffee.”

We all accepted our favorite beverages from Angie, a thirtyish woman in a starched uniform. I helped get Toni situated with her drink and biscuit. Patricia and Jane returned with Alex, laughing as they entered the room.

“We’ve cured Jane of wanting to be a mommy,” Patricia announced.

“I had no idea such a little tyke could produce such a quantity of ... um...”

“Poop,” Toni supplied. “Alex makes lots of poop.”

We all laughed and then relaxed to get caught up on life and the excitement of the wedding.

“Peter will be here for dinner,” Jane said. “As will Mother. Mostly, we’ve managed to be prim and proper, but Peter has spent many nights here at Plympford as we planned the wedding.”

“That sounds promising,” I said.

“We have ... uh ... experimented a bit. I’m afraid I’m simply not equipped to satisfy his needs and though he has tried, it’s not very satisfying for me, either.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Nothing we didn’t expect. Aside from the conjugal part of our relationship, though, we get on fabulously.”

“It’s not difficult on you, having a um ... husband who is...?”

“A fairy?” Jane laughed. “Oh, Ronda, you have no idea how wonderful it is to have a gay boyfriend, fiancé, or husband. He is perfect. He has completely revamped my entire wardrobe. I believe that when I go out, I am among the best dressed women in Britain.”

“Well, he asked me here to take a new set of photos, both of you and of the two of you,” I said.

“He asked you here? What?” Jane said.

“Oh, dear. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.”

“My wedding planner has monitored the returns for the invitations and informed me you would be here. I asked that she invite you to stay with us. Are you saying my most incredible husband-to-be had a hand in getting you here?”

“Not that he needed to twist our arms. I intended to be here as soon as we received your invitation,” I said. My wives were nodding.

“I think there is more to this story,” Jane said.

“Perhaps we should save it for when Peter arrives and can defend himself,” I said.

Before dinner, I introduced the family to Lady Madeline Monroe, Countess of Plympford, Jane’s mother. We’d been assured that an informal dinner at Plympford truly meant no one was dressing up, and even the Dowager Duchess was wearing a simple dress. Jane was dressed in slacks and set the girls at ease. When Peter and his friend Derek arrived, they were dressed like they’d just come from a golf course.

I greeted Peter and we were introduced all around to Derek.

“Thank you for inviting me,” I said. “I may have misspoken to Jane when we arrived about being here to take pictures.”

“Ah, well, the jig is up then. We should enjoy a last meal together,” he laughed.

Jane turned Peter to her with hands on the sides of his face.

“Do you think, Lord Peter, that discovery that you managed to get my friend here to take pictures is going to get you out of marrying me? On the contrary, I may have to find a way to reward you. I just want to know the story,” Jane said.

Whatever the seating map magic of the previous night’s dinner had been, there was no such organization at the table of Plympford. Lady Madeline sat at an end of the table and the English contingent of Jane, Peter, Derek, and Audrey were along one side of the table. The American contingent was on the other side with Toni proudly sitting opposite Lady Madeline.

Like the last time I’d been at Plympford, the food was spectacular, even if classically simple. We were served pie and mash, with rich gravy. The meat pie was savory, but not too spicy. Patricia, sitting next to Toni, helped the little girl break the pie up into small bites. Toni was lost in the potatoes and gravy, though—her favorite dish.

“So, I wanted to do something special for my lovely bride-to-be,” Peter finally began the tale. “Derek actually suggested we get Nate here for a photo session and I happened to mention it to Her Majesty when we were chatting at Christmas.”

“We’d gone to Sandringham to celebrate her Christmas address!” Jane said. “It was the first time I’d met her.”

“When she asked me what I planned to give you as a wedding gift, I suggested it would be nice to have Nate come to take photos. The next thing I knew, I had a call from the American ambassador asking if I really wanted you to come and I said, ‘Yes. And his whole family.’ Of course, we’d already had the invitations addressed and I sent Nate’s over to the Ambassador for delivery. That was really all I knew until I found you would be here and we could invite you to Plympford for your stay,” Peter concluded.

“From the time of your mentioning your desire to the Queen, the thing took on a life of its own,” I took up the narration. “It happens that the Ambassador is a good friend of the Queen and when he visited her, she dropped the hint to him. From there, it went spiraling up and then down the chain of command. He mentioned it to the Secretary of State, who in turn talked to the Undersecretary of Management. From there it went to my boss’s boss, the Assistant Secretary of Consular Affairs, then to my boss, the Deputy Assistant Secretary of Passport Services.”

“Good heavens! Have we started an international crisis?” Jane asked.

“I don’t believe so, but it did spark an internal review of Ronda’s and my positions in the department. When the word got to us, it was that we were requested by the Queen and would function as representatives of the State Department to your wedding. As such, it was decided that our jobs had been drastically undervalued and we got huge pay raises and promotions, retroactive to our date of hire.”

“And another promotion is pending, based on our decision to relocate to London for the next year,” Ronda said. “We really have you to thank for inadvertently advancing our careers.”

“Will you?” Jane asked excitedly. “Will you relocate?”

“We’d like to,” I said. “Part of what we’re doing on this trip is looking for an apartment or house we can rent.”

“We can help look!” Jane said. “Won’t that be fun, Peter.”

“Yes, of course,” he said. “We just need to remember that we have an appointment for a special portrait with Nate on Thursday a week. Aside from that, our time is yours.”

“We don’t want to take any time away that you need to prepare for your wedding,” Anna said. “I feel guilty just being your guests this week. We’ll head back to London on Friday so we can go back to Coventry with the Ambassador.”

“Oh, no!” Jane said. “First, you are no burden. Audrey and I have been smothered by the wedding planners and the selection of our entourage. I’m not sure I even know all my bridesmaids.”

“Audrey will be your maid of honor, won’t she?” Patricia asked, while mopping Toni’s face with a damp cloth a maid brought her.

“No, no,” Audrey said. “I’m more what Nate described when we met. I’m her handmaid. I am not of the nobility.”

“How charming. Derek, would you like to be my handmaid?” Peter asked his friend. Derek blushed.

“My Lord...” he started. Peter stopped that with an arm around his friend and a kiss on the cheek. I glanced over to see Jane plant a kiss on Audrey’s cheek as well.

“I’m afraid the whole wedding spun out of control at the same time. Jane suggested they elope,” Lady Madeline said. “Every lord in England with an unmarried daughter between fifteen and twenty-five called to negotiate a place for his daughter in the wedding party.”

“My father received the same requests from toffs disappointed that their sons had not made the grade with my lady,” Peter said. “We put our foot down to limit the wedding party to four attendants on either side of the aisle.”

“Even then, the Queen wasn’t enthused,” Lady Madeline said. “She remembers only too well how many attendants she had at her wedding and didn’t wish such a thing on anyone else. There were eight on either side for that wedding. She hopes her own children will rein it in a bit when the time comes.”

“When we gave the wedding planners the budget for the wedding, they were distraught,” Jane said. “I’m not sure yet how we managed to reserve St. Michael’s in Coventry on our budget. The planners sniffed and said they would need to limit the number of guests to 250. When Peter and I put our lists together of everyone we knew, we only had 125. Our parents filled out the rest of the guest list.”

“There really aren’t that many weddings of nobility to nobility,” Madeline said. “With such an impressive estate and a title at stake, everyone wants a bit of the glory.”

“Regardless, we don’t want you to leave before the wedding,” Jane said. Peter nodded. “We can come down to London with you after the wedding and help look for lodging for you. Please say you’ll stay with us as long as possible.”

“I think that can be arranged. Our driver is staying in Stockingford. I don’t think he is responsible for the ambassador,” I said.

“We do need to leave from London for our appointments in Edinburgh and Belfast,” Ronda said. “I’m afraid we are on a working vacation.”

“You could just as well fly in and out of Birmingham,” Peter suggested. “There are frequent flights.”

“I should check in with the Assistant Minister for Consul Security before I change the arrangements,” Ronda said. “He plans to travel with us, but I’m sure I can arrange it tomorrow. That sounds perfect.”

There was a chapel at Plympford. I’d peeked into it when I’d been there a year and a half earlier. A rector was assigned to it and several of the tenants of the estate attended this as their regular church. Like everything in the castle, manor house, and grounds, the chapel was kept immaculately clean. So, Anna, Audrey, and I accompanied Jane to the chapel Thursday afternoon. Peter and Derek had both expressed interest in learning more about caring for children. Ronda and Patricia were giving them the course.

Once in the chapel, Audrey scurried around to ascertain that we were, indeed, alone and no one was lurking nearby. Then Jane began stripping as Anna and I set up cameras.

“Does getting married mean you won’t even look at me when I’m naked?” Jane demanded. I turned to find her standing in the nude as Audrey worked on getting white stockings up her legs. I glanced at Anna and she snorted, nodding her head toward Jane.

“My lady, forgive me for focusing on the task instead of on the model. You know, I usually help my models dress—or undress as the case may be—and will gladly focus on you now.”

I bent to work on the leg opposite Audrey, smoothing the white stockings up Jane’s leg.

“You know, Lady Jane, I have a question I ask all my models. Are you here of your own free will, without being coerced by anyone?”

“Oh, Nate!” she exclaimed. She crushed herself to me and kissed me frantically. “I’m so scared! What if we’re making a huge mistake? What if we find we can’t stand each other? I’ve grown to love Peter, even without ... you know ... his sexual interest. But are we right to make this a lifetime commitment?”

“Jane, hush now, sweetheart. Is marrying Peter what you want to do?” I asked.

“Yes! He’s nice, loving, caring, gentle, smart, and perfect. We just don’t have sex. I’m not a terribly demanding lover. I don’t need sex all the time. We’re British, you know. And my sweet Audrey has become a marvelous companion. And if I can see you occasionally ... I don’t think I will even need to find another lover. Um ... Anna, I’m not trying to join your family or to be a constant irritant, but will I be able to borrow Nate sometimes?” Jane asked.

“Like when you want to get pregnant?” Anna asked, taking Jane by the shoulders, and kissing her softly. “Is that what you are really asking?”

“That would certainly be one of the times. Peter and I have talked about it and he much prefers the idea of Nate impregnating me than having some anonymous artificial insemination done.”

“You know we’ll want to be a part of your child’s life,” Anna persisted.

“You and Ronda and Patricia and Nate, just as much as Audrey and Derek,” Jane nodded. “There would be no reason we can’t visit you in Stratford each summer. And next year, you’ll be here in London.”

“We need to hear you and Peter say that to all four of us,” Anna said. “Until then, you should answer Nate’s question, which was about the photo session, not about the wedding.”

“Oh, my God! I really flew off the handle, didn’t I? Nate, I want you to take my pictures. I want you to take them while I wear my gown, or before I put it on, or after I take it off. I want a boudoir picture, or one in the solar. I loved the picture you did of Kathleen, but I’d like one of me somewhere in the only modern room of the castle.”

We got busy and took pictures. It took all three of us to get Jane into her gown. It was beautiful and had a train that flowed out behind her. I’d only once taken photos of a bride and that had been Valerie wanting me to take her photo and then to take her in the darkroom. Eventually, we finished in the chapel, got Jane out of her gown, and packed up the equipment. We went to the solar and began plotting out where we would take her casual portrait.

The room was white and we decided on a white sofa in front of an alcove. I set the cameras and then went to work on Jane. She was back in street clothes after the adventure in the chapel. I began loosening them and taking them off, piece by piece.

“Audrey,” I said, “I think we need a drape of some sort so my lady is not just wantonly exposed. It should be in soft compatible tones. Think you can find something?”

“I know just the thing. Be right back.”

“Now, Jane, you know I’m going to take all your clothes away. Do you want me to do that, Jane?”

“Yes, Nate. Take all my clothes away. Get me ready for my lover.”

“Let’s adjust your makeup just a little,” I said, reaching in my bag for my kit. “I want to lighten it ... let the soul shine through.”

I laid her back on the sofa with a pillow under her arm, then wiped away some of the more dramatic makeup she’d used with her gown. I tousled her hair a bit and draped it over one shoulder.

“My God! Isn’t she spectacular?” said Peter from behind me.

I glanced around and saw that he, Derek, Ronda, Patricia, Toni, and Alex had all come into the room. They were standing back, but from this distance, I could see a genuine affection in Peter’s eyes. Audrey rushed into the room with a throw in soft tones that I draped across Jane. I leaned forward and kissed her.

“Think of this as the time you’ve been waiting for. The time when your lover approaches you and you know you are about to make a new heir to the Earldom. How will you look at him? How will you greet him?”

I stepped back to the Hasselblad and took the first picture. Jane still looked a little baffled. I liked that and moved slightly to get another shot. Then Jane looked me straight in the eye and I saw her expression soften. She reached up absently to twirl a lock of her hair and started to pull the drape down from her body.

“Hold it. Right there!” I said as I hurried to the Linhof. I composed the image and looked over the top. Jane’s eyes followed me and I gestured for her to stay focused on my eyes. It was beautiful.

I took several more shots on both the Hasselblad and the Linhof. Her expression shifted. The drape shifted. We did some photos of her standing and I approached Peter.

“May I have your shirt, Lord Peter?”

“My...” He glanced at Jane, standing perfectly still and realization dawned on him. He hurriedly stripped out of the white shirt he was wearing and handed it to me.

I slipped it onto her and we took a long series of shots with the proverbial ‘lover’s shirt’ in various stages of slipping off her body. It was a beautiful series. I handed the shirt back to Peter and he pulled it on, as I started getting Jane dressed again.

“Would you two like to go and get started on that heir?” Anna asked softly.

“Oh, no! We can’t do that,” Jane said breathlessly. “I ... You know ... I’m about to get married. I can’t have a lover this week. We’ll come and visit you in Stratford in a month or two.”