Chapter 13: Confessions

Los Angeles, California

May 3, 2001

It was 10:30 PM in the San Fernando Valley, just thirty minutes before Meghan needed to head back to Granada Hills so she could get enough sleep to take care of Caydee in the morning. As was typical at this time of night on the weeks she stayed in LA, she and Massa were both naked and cuddled together in Massa’s bed after a lengthy session of sexual activity. The only difference on this night was that both were already showered and clean smelling. It had been sort of necessary after what they had just done.

Meghan was incredibly embarrassed, not because of what they had done—she had rather enjoyed it and knew she was going to want to do that again at some point—but because of what had happened in the aftermath. She knew she had wanted to try this new aspect of sexuality, had planned it in advance, but had had no inkling of how the rule of unintended consequences was going to bite her—almost literally—in the ass.

It was her ass that had been the focus of the experiment. Her anus had always been a bit of an erogenous zone for her. While playing with herself in the bathtub or the hot tub, she would often slip a finger into that particular hole while rubbing her clit because it felt good to her. The last few times Massa had eaten her pussy out, she had encouraged him to stick a finger up there during the final push—something that Massa had been a bit taken aback with at first but had quickly embraced once he saw the effect it had on her. During tonight’s session, they had started out in the missionary position and then Meghan had flipped over and assumed the rear-entry position (something they had only begun experimenting with at the beginning of this week). Massa put himself into her sopping vagina from the rear and began thrusting away, one hand on her hip, the other playing with her dangling breasts.

“Put a finger in my ass,” she panted at him after several minutes, as she felt the approach of another orgasm starting to build.

Massa was nothing if not obedient. He touched his right middle finger to the top of his wet member as it moved in and out, gathering their combined juices and lubricating it, and then slid it neatly into her tight little bunghole.

“Oooh, yes,” Meghan moaned. “Slide it in and out.”

He slid it in and out and she moaned louder. And then, after perhaps a minute of this, she said something to him that he could not quite fathom at first. “I bet you’d like to put your cock in there, wouldn’t you?”

“Uh ... what?” was his startled response.

“Do you want to put your cock in my ass, Massa?” she said, making her intention a little clearer.

“Uh ... well ... uh ... if you think you would want me to,” he stammered, looking at the orifice in question, hoping that she really did want him to. He had never done that particular act before, not even with Tif, and was convinced that women—despite a thousand porno clips he had watched on the internet—did not really enjoy that act and would not voluntarily engage in it.

“I really want you to,” she said lustfully, reaching under the pillow and retrieving something. It was a small bottle of scented body lotion. “Here. Use this to lube me up and then do it.”

“Uh ... okay,” he squeaked. “Are you sure?”

“Yessss,” she moaned. “I’m sure. Do it to me, Massa.”

He did it to her, slathering a healthy amount of the lotion into her butt crack and then lubing up her passage using his fingers. He then removed his cock from its God-intended place of pleasure, moved it up a few inches, and then slowly, gradually, worked it inside what was traditionally an exit-only passage. Soon, he was thrusting away, in awe of what he was doing and barely hanging onto control. Meghan loved it. She began to rub her clit vigorously with her fingers and soon squeaked out her third orgasm of the night. The spasming triggered Massa’s second of the night (the first had been in her mouth out on the couch—she had found she got a longer session out of him if she sucked him off first) and he shot a fairly large load up into her colon, gripping her hips spasmodically as he did so. Both of them thought it was one of the hottest things they had ever done.

And then that rule of unintended consequences kicked in. Massa pulled his wilting member out of her body and found it was covered in a film of brownish white that did not smell particularly pleasant. Meghan, meanwhile, found she had a sudden, uncontrollable urge to get to the toilet to move her bowels (even though she was regular as the sunrise and never had to move them in the evening hours). While Massa pondered what to use to wipe his member, Meghan frantically excused herself and had to rush to the nearest bathroom, where her sexually inspired bowel movement was noisy, full of explosive gas passage, and clearly audible to Massa’s ears.

Massa decided not to touch his member. He waited patiently until Meghan, blushing furiously and unable to meet his eyes, emerged from the bathroom. “I ... I ... umm, I’m going to take a shower real quick,” he told her, looking firmly at the floor.

“Okay,” she said meekly. “I’ll take one as soon as you’re done.”

Massa quickly showered off, drowning his member in body wash and scrubbing it with a cloth until it was almost abraded, and then used a separate washcloth to clean the rest of his body. He toweled off and then brushed his teeth. He was still shy about walking around naked in front of Meghan—his penis was impressive when ready for action, but quite small when it wasn’t—but he had not brought any clothes in with him. He opened the door and quickly dashed to the bed, nearly diving beneath the covers. Meghan was still standing next to the bed in the nude. She gave him a kiss on the lips and told him not to get dressed while she was showering. She still wanted to cuddle.

And here they were now, cuddled together and clean smelling, enjoying the feel of each other’s bodies in contact, but both a little embarrassed about what they had just done, particularly Meghan, who was mortified that Massa had heard her pooping.

“I’m sorry that ... uh ... you know?” Massa told her.

“No,” Meghan said, “I don’t know. What are you sorry about?”

“That ... uh ... what I did to you made you ... uh ... you know?”

“I asked you to do that to me, Massa,” she told him. “I wanted you to do it. I just didn’t know it would have that particular ... you know ... effect after.”

“Neither did I,” Massa said. “I’ve never done that before.”

“Me either,” Meghan said. “I liked it though.”

“Really?” Massa asked.

“Really,” she said with a contented sigh. “I felt soooo full. I’m just embarrassed that I had to ... you know ... after.”

“Nothing to be embarrassed about,” he assured her. “I was just afraid that I had hurt you.”

“I would have told you to stop if it hurt,” she assured him.

“That’s good to know,” he said.

They lay in silence for a few moments, each pondering this next step they had taken in their sexual relationship. Meghan still felt strongly that the act was something she was going to want to do again, but she would need to have access to a more private bathroom after it was over. Maybe if they did it on his couch instead of in the bedroom? That might work. She could lean over the back of it and Massa could stand behind her.

“I’m sad you have to go back home for the week tomorrow,” Massa told her, derailing her logistics of anal sex thoughts. She felt an instant wave of sadness washing over her.

“Me too,” she said. “I’m going to miss you. Eight whole days without touching you or kissing you or holding you. It’s an eternity.”

“I wish I could drive up to Oceano to be with you,” Massa said, “but you know everything I have going.”

She did. He was still taking evening classes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to complete his Master’s degree and working three days a week at a Los Angeles commercial recording studio doing violin overdubs for television and radio advertisements. He still had a good chunk of his touring money in the bank—he was thrifty by upbringing and culture—but needed income of his own to keep from tapping too much into it. “Maybe you could come up on Saturday and stay until Sunday night,” she suggested.

“Really?” he asked. He was perfectly willing to make the three hour drive there and back if it meant he got to be with Meghan. But was that feasible? “Do you think Jake and Teach would be okay with that? You know, me staying the night?”

“I don’t think they’ll have a problem with it,” she told him.

“Would I have to sleep in the guest room, like before?”

She giggled. “You didn’t really sleep in the guest room,” she reminded him.

“Yes, but they didn’t know I wasn’t in there.”

“I don’t think they’ll have a problem with it,” she assured him.

“No?”

“No,” she said. “They’re pretty live and let live people. And they know what’s going on between us.”

“Did you tell them?” he asked.

“I didn’t have to tell them,” she said, “they just knew. They noticed I was always glowing and happy when I came back to the house, and they noticed that I always smell freshly showered when I get back to the house.”

“Very observant of them,” he said.

“I thought so,” she said. “Anyway, there’s another reason I’m sure they won’t care.”

“What’s that?”

“I’m not supposed to be telling you this, and you have to swear to never tell another soul about it, but you knew what was going on between Jake, Teach, and Celia out on the tour.” This was not a question. They had discussed the matter several times during those days.

“Uh ... yes,” he said. “I knew. All of us knew. My understanding is they stopped doing that after the tour ... the Celia part anyway.”

“They did. For whatever reason, Celia put a stop to that part of the relationship when we came home from the tour. But now they’re doing it again.”

“Really?” he said, interested on several levels. Primarily, this was the first piece of gossip about her employers that Meghan had ever shared with him. Secondarily, he was somewhat envious of Jake. Imagine, having sex with two women at once, two women who were both extraordinarily attractive! Jake was the freakin’ man!

“I’m pretty sure it started up again after she broke up with the helicopter pilot. Now, they’ve been doing it every night this week. They don’t even make an attempt to hide it from me. I can actually hear them doing it sometimes. Teach is quite the screamer and Celia’s no slouch at it either.”

“Does it bother you that they’re doing that?” he asked carefully.

“Hell no,” she said immediately. “I think it’s hot. I mean, I would never want to do anything with another girl—at least I don’t think I would—but the thought of what they’re doing still turns me on.”

“No kidding?” Massa asked, feeling a little stiffening down below.

“No kidding,” she told him, her pretty brown eyes shining. “In fact ... I don’t think I would push you away if you went down on me and sucked just one more out.”

“Well ... if you promise not to push me away,” he said, pulling back the covers. A minute later, he was busy sucking another one out of her.

Meanwhile, back at the Granada Hills house, Jake, Laura, and Celia had just finished up a session of their own. They had fucked each other enthusiastically every night of this week, putting their bodies and parts together in every possible way that two women and a man could (except for the back doors, neither Celia nor Laura were into that sort of thing and Jake had done it enough in his earlier days that he did not covet it). They were now laying on the bed, Jake in the middle in the wet spot, Celia on his left, Laura on his right. The lights were still on and the ceiling fan was spinning lazily, drying their sweaty skin.

“I don’t want to stop doing this,” Celia suddenly blurted after a few minutes of contemplative silence had passed.

“Stop doing what?” Jake asked, though he had a pretty good idea what she was talking about.

“Fucking each other,” she said. “Being with each other. This week has reminded me how much I love the two of you, how much I love being with you, both in body and in soul. I don’t want to stop doing this. Not now, not ever.”

Laura looked at her, her eyes trying to read her face. “Are you ... uh ... really sure about this, C?” she asked softly.

Celia nodded. “Yes,” she said. “More sure than anything else in my life. You two complete me. You always have. I don’t want to be incomplete anymore.”

“But what about ... you know ... having a baby?” Jake asked.

Celia sighed. “I want to have a baby with every fiber of my being,” she said, “but I want the two of you as well. It seems like I can’t have both of these things, so ... so ... I guess having a baby of my own is not in the cards.”

“Why don’t we talk about this a little?” Jake suggested.

“What is there to talk about?” she asked. “Are you offering to knock me up?”

“I’m offering to talk about the possibility,” he said. “Laura suggested this once without asking me first, but now I’m here and willing to discuss the situation. Laura’s here to discuss it. And you’re here, C. Why don’t we put our heads together and see what we can come up with?”

“I would still face the same problem as before,” Celia said. “A child that you put in my belly, Rev, would be illegitimate in the eyes of the world and in the eyes of my family. I can’t go there. I simply can’t.”

“Isn’t an illegitimate in the eyes of the world and your family child better than no child at all?” Laura asked.

“No,” Celia said, shaking her head, “it isn’t. I won’t subject my child to always being thought of as a bastardo.”

“He or she would be a bastardo who would never want for anything,” Jake pointed out, “who would be loved by all three of us.”

“But he or she would still be a bastardo,” Celia said. “I won’t have that.”

“C,” Laura said gently, “we don’t want to be responsible for you not being able to have a baby. That’s too much for us to ask of you.”

“I’m the one who asked it of you,” she replied. “I’m the one in love with the two of you, I’m the one who just told you I want to stay in this rather unconventional relationship. This is my decision, not yours.”

“I’m afraid you’re going to resent us in a year or two because of this decision,” Laura told her. “Yes, the decision was yours to make but we went along with it. Eventually, maybe when that clock of yours runs out of time, you’re going to blame us for it.”

She thought about this for a few moments. “I can’t say what future me is going to feel,” she said. “I know, however, that present me wants to be with you two the way we’re together right now and that present me does not want an illegitimate child. That kind of leaves us at an impasse, doesn’t it?”

“I ... I suppose,” Jake said slowly.

“But it’s an impasse where we get to be with each other,” Celia said. “Where we get to fuck each other as much as we can find the time to do so. Where we can love each other like we love each other right now. If you have to have an impasse, that’s a good one to have, isn’t it?”

“I suppose that is a good point,” Laura said with a smile.

“In fact, I want to be with you more than I am now,” she said. “I want to go to Oceano with you tomorrow and stay the weekend with you.”

“Really?” Jake asked.

“Yes, really,” she said. “Why wouldn’t I? There is no reason for me to stay in LA. I’m not dating anyone here. I have no family here. My family will be going back to Oceano. I want to go with them.”

“You’re always welcome at our home, love,” Laura said. “You know that.”

“Do you really mean that?” Celia asked.

“Of course we mean it, right, sweetie?”

“Absolutely,” Jake said with complete sincerity. “Some of my happiest memories were of when you stayed with us every day for weeks at a time, where we were virtually living as if we were all married to each other.”

“Those are my happiest memories too,” Celia said nostalgically. “And not just for the sex part, though that was nice. It was the love we shared, the companionship, and I got to be around Caydee all the time, was part of her routine. It really was like I was a second mother to her. I miss those days.”

An idea suddenly occurred to Jake, something that came out of left field but that was so simple he was amazed that no one had suggested it before. “What if we could go back to living like that?” he asked the two ladies.

“Go back to it?” Laura said. “How would we do that?”

“Yeah,” Celia said, “I’m kind of committed to the workups in the Santa Clarita studio at this point.”

“But you’re really not,” Jake said, more advantages to his idea flooding into his brain. “We can move your entire operation to the rehearsal building at The Campus. Me and the rest of the guys aren’t using it anymore. We’re in the recording studio now.”

Celia looked startled. “Move everyone and everything to The Campus?” she asked. “That would mean everyone in the band would have to drive up here and stay here during the week.”

“So?” Jake said. “What’s wrong with that? They’re making fifty bucks an hour for this gig. You think they’ll quit just because we ask them to stay in SLO County five days a week for the duration?”

“Well ... uh ... no, they probably wouldn’t,” she said, turning the idea around in her head, trying to find flaws with it. “Especially if we paid them for travel time.”

“That is a good motivator,” Laura said.

“And if you’re at The Campus with us,” Jake went on, “I could spend more time helping you hone your tunes. It’s just a short walk across the property. Whenever I’m not needed in the studio, I could come over to the rehearsal building and work with you. That way, I’d be much more plugged into what you’re doing than the way we’re doing it now.”

“That is a good point,” Celia said, liking the idea more and more.

“Is there enough room for everyone to stay at The Campus?” Laura asked.

“Probably not, but not everyone needs to stay there,” Jake said. “C would obviously stay with us. So could Eric. Liz and Little Stevie could stay with the Nerdlys. The rest could use the empty rooms at The Campus. This will work.”

“I like it,” Celia said. “On several levels.”

“Me too,” Laura said with a smile.

“All right then,” Jake said, “let’s make it happen. Next week will be the normal deal, but the week after that, we’ll all be in SLO for the rest of the process.”

There were, however, two people who Jake and Celia and Laura knew would not be thrilled about the new plan. That would be Meghan and Massa. Meghan knew something was off the next afternoon when Jake invited her to take the copilot seat for the flight home and Celia did not protest. She found out what it was once they cleared ten thousand feet and Otto had the plane.

“Listen,” he told her, speaking to her through the headsets they wore, “we have come up with a new arrangement for the rest of the recording and rehearsal time.”

“A new arrangement?” she asked carefully. “What is it?”

He resisted the urge to throw in an Airplane reference only by the barest of margins (“it’s a recently developed process of sorting, planning, and carrying out pre-determined actions, but that’s not important now” would have been the one he used). “It means we’re going to change how we do things,” he told her.

“In what way?” she asked.

“Well ... uh ... since it seems obvious that I need to work more closely with Celia and her band to help them work things up, and since me, Matt, and the rest of Intemperance are now in the recording studio, C is going to move her operation to SLO so she can work in the rehearsal building at The Campus.”

“Oh ... I ... I see,” Meghan said softly, her face forming a frown to replace the neutral expression it had just held.

“This will mean ... uh ... no more weeks spent in LA for us and Caydee,” he said. “At least not for now.”

She nodded, her expression turning to one of sadness. “So ... no more weeks spent with Massa,” she said.

“I’m sorry,” he told her. “I know you two have been enjoying your every other weeks together. We’re not doing this to hamper that in any way—all of us are very happy for you and Massa, you have to believe that—but we’re doing it because it is what makes the most sense for our projects.”

She nodded again. “I understand,” she said blankly. “Massa will understand too.”

“This doesn’t mean you can’t see each other,” Jake said.

“What do you mean?”

“Our house is your house,” he told her. “Massa can come up and visit anytime he wants. He’s off on weekends, right?”

“He is,” she said, looking over at her boss for the first time.

“He can stay in your bedroom, eat dinner with us, the whole shebang,” he told her. “He’s more than welcome.”

“Oh ... well, that’s cool,” she said.

“And you’re off on most weekends too,” Jake said. “If you want to make the drive down to LA on Friday night or Saturday morning, that’s cool too, as long as you’re back by Monday morning at 8:30. Hell, if I don’t have anything going on, I’ll be happy to fly you down there on Friday night and then pick you up on Sunday night, just like I’m doing now.”

“Really?” she asked, her eyes brightening now.

“Really,” he told her. “I’ll take any excuse to get behind the controls. You know that.”

Her smile was a genuine one now. “Thanks, Jake,” she told him.

“Anything for you, Meghan,” he said. “You’re family in all but blood. I’ll go to the wall for you. So will Laura and so will Celia.”

After a weekend of threesome debauchery in the Kingsley bedroom (and one particularly memorable encounter in the hot tub) Jake flew Celia and Laura back to LA on Sunday evening and then returned home. The next morning, Jake returned to the studio to help with the recording of Never Say Never while Celia and Laura worked with the rest of the band to continue implementing some of the suggestions that Jake had made on their basic tunes. For the first time since beginning, the band and Celia began to feel productive in their efforts and their enthusiasm for the process perked up considerably.

Celia told her band the plan for the future. She did not ask their opinions of the plan or call a vote on whether or not the plan would be implemented. The plan was not an option. Not everyone was enthusiastic about moving the operation to San Luis Obispo County but no one protested her decision, especially not when KVA increased everyone’s hourly rate by twenty-five dollars an hour and called it ‘hardship pay’ for the rest of the process (even Laura, who, for tax reasons, received an hourly wage just like all the other musicians except Celia herself). And so, in the evenings after the workups that week, everyone made their arrangements, mollified their loved ones (if they had any), arranged for mail pickup, house or apartment sitting, and pet care, and packed up their belongings for the adventure. On Saturday morning, a work crew hired by KVA disassembled all the band’s equipment and packed it into a hired 18-wheel tractor-trailer, which then delivered it to The Campus’s rehearsal studio and piled it inside.

On Sunday morning, the band itself made the move. Jake flew to Whiteman and picked up Celia but not Laura. Eric the violinist was too anxious to make the long drive over the mountains to the central coast himself so Laura accompanied him, driving his Nissan Sentra for him while he cruised through the trip under the influence of a Xanax. Everyone else made the trip in their own cars, not traveling in a caravan, but keeping their own individual times. Everyone arrived at their respective destinations by 4:00 PM and started settling in.

There was a little strife that first night between Matt and Mark Valentine, Celia’s huge, towering bass player, when he started hitting on Kim after Matt told him they were not a couple. Matt threatened to beat his ass and Valentine dared him to give it a shot. Before they could actually come to blows, Jim intervened and took the bass player aside and explained the actual situation to him, as well as notifying him that Matt was a scrappy, very experienced hand-to-hand combatant and would undoubtedly kick the shit of Valentine despite their significant size difference. Wisely, Valentine took his words to heart and apologized both to Matt and Kim, thus lowering the tension out of the violent zone.

Eric Pale, meanwhile, settled into one of the guest rooms at Kingsley Manor while Celia, making no effort to hide what she was doing from anyone, settled into the Kingsleys’ master bedroom with them. Elsa went back to laundering the bedding every morning instead of every other morning when it was just Jake and Laura in there. Celia plugged herself into Caydee’s nighttime routine, giving the toddler her baffs every evening and participating in guitar and sing time along with Jake.

Liz and Little Stevie moved in with the Nerdlys in their hillside San Luis Obispo home. They were still carrying on their on again/off again sexual affair with each other and were currently on (which was nice as it made them more productive musically). The Nerdlys had offered to let them share the secondary suite in their house but they insisted on sleeping in separate bedrooms because they still insisted there was “nothing between us like that”, even though they had to know that everyone knew everyone else’s business. They certainly knew, and had known all along, about Teach, Celia, and Jake. But everyone has their illusions they like to maintain and they did a pretty good job of acting offended that the Nerdlys had even suggested there was that kind of relationship between the two of them (“I’m old enough to be his mother, for God’s sake!” Liz proclaimed righteously). And every night, after the Nerdlys were all tucked into their beds, Little Stevie—all five foot five and one hundred and twenty-three pounds of him—would slink out of the guest room and into the secondary suite where Liz had taken up residence. Most nights they would not have sex, but they enjoyed sleeping together. And every morning, before the Nerdly household awoke to start the day, Little Stevie would slink back to the guest room and catch another 45 minutes of sleep before getting up to take his shower and get ready to start his day.

Every weekday morning, at 7:00 AM, the Kingsley household would come alive. Meghan, who showered at night, was usually the first to emerge. She would get Caydee up, get her dressed, make sure she peed and/or pooped in the potty, and then feed her her little breakfast, which usually consisted of a bowl of cereal, a bowl of oatmeal, or perhaps a muffin. Elsa would appear next, coming in through the kitchen door dressed in jeans and a blouse. She would make big breakfast for the entire clan, the meal dependent upon what her mood was like and what ingredients she had on hand. Farm fresh eggs (usually chicken eggs, sometimes duck eggs) bought from a local farm were always the basic ingredient of the morning meal. Elsa would no more serve breakfast without an egg base than she would dress in a miniskirt and fishnet stockings for her shopping trips.

Jake, Laura, and Celia developed a routine for their mornings. All three needed to shower each morning as they were usually smelling of sex secretions. They rotated who had to get up first. At 7:15 AM, the alarm would go off. Whoever had the early shower shift that morning would get up and go take care of their shower-shave-shit routine and brush their teeth. Once done with this, that person would wake up the next to start their own SSS duties and then that one would wake up the last in line. All three would emerge into the household by 7:50 to avoid the wrath of Elsa, who served breakfast at precisely 8:00 AM and would give the sharp side of her tongue to anyone who dared show up late. They would drink their coffee and eat their breakfast (Eric generally skipped the coffee as caffeine tended to trigger his anxiety).

At 8:30 Jake, Laura, and Celia would climb into the Navigator and Eric would climb into his Nissan Sentra and they would all make the twenty-five minute drive to The Campus. Usually, Jake was working with Intemperance in the recording studio helping to lay down basic tracks while Laura, Celia, and Eric would work in the rehearsal studio along with Celia’s bandmembers. At least two days a week, however, sometimes just for part of the day, sometimes for its entirety, Jake would stroll across The Campus and over to the rehearsal studio to watch and participate in Celia’s workups. He had a few of his guitars over there and he would compose riffs, solos, and other melodies to fit the tunes, help shape the way that everything was put together, suggest tempo changes, intros and outros, fills and flourishes, and every other aspect of transforming basic tunes into recording quality pieces. Celia’s tunes really began to shape up into her usual masterpieces.

When Friday nights came, everyone would enjoy their weekend in the best way they could. It quickly became established that Meghan and Massa would meet each other every other weekend in Los Angeles, every other weekend in Oceano. On the Oceano weekends, Massa would make the nearly three hour drive after finishing his classes for the day and arrive about an hour and a half after dinner (Elsa would always make him a plate of what was being served so he could reheat and enjoy it upon arrival). On the LA days, Jake would fly Meghan to Whiteman after the workday was done, always with Caydee flying high in the sky with them, and let the off-duty nanny use his truck in the Whiteman hangar for the weekend. She would stay at Massa’s apartment with him and Jake would come pick her up late on Sunday afternoon and return her home. This kept the two young lovers content and happy. Meghan even offered to pay for the jet fuel that Jake used to fly her back and forth but Jake refused to allow this. He appreciated the offer but even though they paid their nanny well, they did not pay her enough to routinely pay for fifty kilos of jet fuel out of her own pocket. He told her just to consider the flights a perk of her job and that he enjoyed them because it would get him behind the controls at least four times a month.