Chapter 10

Andrew took a chance and picked up takeout for dinner. Suzanne had not prepared anything either for herself or the two of them so it was perfect. They sat and had a quick dinner before heading back through to the living room. This time she sat opposite him, tucking her feet under herself. Andrew tried not to stare too blatantly, she was stunning.

“I am meeting one of Mhairi’s staff tomorrow morning. Are you going to tell me what it is all about?”

He debated not telling her but figured she might just refuse if he did not have the discussion with her.

“One night, sitting in this room, you suggested that I set up a property company, investing with other people, the same as with the Trust. I approached Brian Campbell about the idea and he thought it was a great idea and so we have set up a property company, well actually a property fund. A manager has been hired and he works in the same offices as Leslie and Creighton, oh and Julian will be there after their honeymoon. Anyway, since it was your idea, and as a thank you, I put a small investment in the fund in your name. It is that paperwork that you are signing tomorrow.”

It all seemed so reasonable when Andrew put it like that. Someone wasn’t buying it for a second.

“Exactly how small is this investment?”

Bugger.

“£10,000.”

There was a very long, very loud, silence.

“You gave me a £10,000 present? Are you insane? I can’t take that. After everything that I did to you this year, everything that I said, you are giving me £10,000.”

“Er, yes.”

Suzanne got up and left the room. There were no slammed doors and Andrew sat there waiting for her return. It took a while but Suzanne finally returned to her seat.

“You set that in motion way back in the autumn, and even though things changed between us, you did not cancel it. Why?”

“You are my friend. Sure it is over the top, but it was your idea and I thought you deserved it. I don’t get to spoil anyone else in my life.”

“It makes me uncomfortable Andrew. The holidays and the flights, the flat, the use of the car, all of that I can just about rationalise. But this.”

She sat there, her lips pursed in frustration.

“You would have told me this at Christmas if things had carried on without the disruption?”

He nodded.

“I feel bought Andrew.”

Squid swam into view.

“Can’t I do something nice for my friend?”

“You have innumerable times. This feels like something more.”

Suzanne came from a comfortable upper middle class family, had wanted for nothing. Her parents were considerably better off than Andrew’s own. But at the end of the day he was lonely, or his life in Edinburgh, such as it was, made him feel lonely. Andrew haltingly tried to explain that to Suzanne. It was a not articulate but it was heartfelt. As he spoke he realised that this was why he was in business with Tony and Maggie, why he had made the same offer to June Wyatt. Andrew didn’t feel guilty about the money he had made but did feel burdened by it a lot of the time. When he had the chance to do something nice for someone he tried to do it. He probably could do a lot more. Regardless of what the last nine months had done to them, Suzanne Jenner was still the most important woman in his life. What that meant? Andrew didn’t know. Telling Suzanne about the same level of gift to June did calm her down. He knew that it was important that it wasn’t just her.

“You are known for rash gestures. I am not making any promises but I will sleep on it and let you know in the morning. If it was a £1,000 then I think I could accept it as a gift, and in the spirit that it is meant. It is the amount more than the principle that is the sticking point. It seems over the top. Like I said, I sleep on it.”

She looked over at him and smiled wanly.

“Thank you Andrew. I know that the gesture comes from a good place. Okay. Put that to one side, you told me this morning that you had news you had not shared with me yet.”

Someone was itching with curiosity. So Andrew reminded her that Hermès had shot some video of his modelling back in the previous year at Easter. He went through the whole thing, how he had told Abi in the summer; the unexpected news that they wanted him to film commercials, well Heloise specifically wanted him; the weekend of the shoots, all the details over the three days, although Andrew made no reference to the evenings. The ongoing chat through the winter and then the week in Paris. He also remembered to mention the model agency and his stage or modelling name. All in all he spoke for well over an hour.

“I go and get all confused about my sexuality for six months and this is how you keep yourself busy.”

Andrew’s laughter was disproportionate to the joke but it was good to see a spark of the Suzanne he knew and loved.

“That is quite the tale Andrew. So there are six TV commercials with three different models, including the most famous model in France, and a longer commercial that is shown at the cinema, featuring one of the other two. They are all being shown in France and other countries, most of which you are not sure of, and lots of people are calling you about working as a model. You in the meantime have agreed to work exclusively for Hermès, are getting very well paid for it, and this is just something you do on breaks from university. Oh, and you appear butt naked, pun intended, in all of these commercials with an endless array of beautiful women. Is that the gist of the tale?”

He sheepishly nodded.

“That is bonkers Andrew. I swear if you fell into a loch you would come out dry. How is this possible?”

“By being nice to a tall woman, not knowing who she was, it all spiraled from there. In fact, one of the reasons she came out with me in the first place was due to my being nice to Manon in Edinburgh, not hitting on her. You met her the last day, you know what she is like. Do the right thing, and you will be repaid many times over.”

Andrew could tell that Suzanne wanted to argue that with him but it stumped her. Because it was true. Maybe the biggest thing that he didn’t mention was his height. None of this would have happened to Pedro. But his height opened the door and everything flowed from that. He thought back to Raquel in the first year at Cambridge. Same height as Heloise, there was just no spark. You can’t plan for a spark between two people.

“So what did Abi think of the shoots?”

“She found them fascinating, a little awkward at times, and she has become good friends with Heloise, in fact Heloise stayed with her during the Easter break. Abi’s parents also came along and watched some of the shoot. Abi gets her love of fashion and modelling from her mother. They had a good time.”

“What does she think of your new role, the latest shoots?”

“I have not discussed it with her. We are now just friends and normally friends in company. In fact since Christmas we have drifted apart. There are no one on one chats with her any more. Once she saw behind the curtain, she got a lot of her obsession out of her system.”

“So it didn’t bring you closer?”

“No, definitely not. She is a lot less experienced with men and is trying to rectify that situation. She, like Helena and I the previous year, did not want to be with John on Monday, Mark on Wednesday and Andrew at the weekend. All just hypotheticals but once she found someone she wanted to be monogamous with that person. So I went from being monogamous with her in term one to back to being monogamous with Helena in term two and three.”

“Helena was so nice to me at the wedding, more than I deserved.”

“No, she in fact imagined herself in exactly the same situation with the roles reversed. Plus any drama between the two of you would spoil Leslie’s day so it was an easy thing to do she said.”

“When do you have to leave?”

“I am on the Friday night sleeper train to King’s Cross, rush to drop all my stuff at the flat and then back to King’s Cross for the trip out to Cambridge. I need to be on parade by 9.00 and I should just about make it.”

“And like last year you are working until, what mid-September?”

Andrew nodded.

“Will I get the chance to see you during the summer?”

“I don’t know. I was sent out of London several times last year but assuming I am there then yes, we can. Do you know what the Forestry Commission have planned for you?”

“No, I will know on Monday when they lay out the summer work plan. I was in the main building most of last year, only a couple of short trips north. I might be away longer this summer. Between that and your trips it might be tough to coordinate.”

All they could do was try. When they headed to bed, it was odd and awkward for them both. The next morning Andrew ran as usual and Suzanne was waiting for him to go swimming. Small things like that, memories of their routine over so many years, helped them start to bridge the awkwardness. Andrew left her to return to the offices for the first of two days of meetings.

The first day was a discussion about the good news of one of their investments. They had to talk about the different options, the company’s options. It was one of the investments in the oil and gas business and there was rumoured to be someone interested in buying them. This was a new situation for them but it was still wait and see. They had a chance to make a very good, borderline spectacular return, and more of the meeting was about process and how to approve it if Andrew was away somewhere and Leslie and Julian were on their honeymoon. The rest of the day was updates on the investments that were in the ‘everything okay so far’ stage. That was the vast majority. Andrew found his mind wandering during all this, he was pleased that things were okay but did not need to hear about each and every one. He made a note that this was a day he did not need to attend going forward. At the end of the day they were about to leave when Brian turned up. Andrew had walked down and Brian clearly wanted to talk so Julian took Brian’s car back to their place, a walk of 15 minutes.

“Leslie came round to see us last night. As you can imagine it was an emotional evening. She was upset and apologetic for her behaviour and how it impacted Mary. I knew that Mary had issues with you at times, and even with Leslie occasionally, but I didn’t know how badly it affected her. You recognised something that we all had lived with for years, seeing it without recognising it. It is not your fault, both Leslie and I should have been more aware of Mary’s feelings, even after all these years. Mary was a mess last night, and did not sleep well. We will have to go back to Helen Gordon, there was a breaking of a mask last night and I think Leslie was as taken aback at her bitterness as I was. The grief lies close to the surface with Mary.

“You saw what we all missed. I do not feel good about myself and like I said, the impact of Faith’s death is still a raw wound for Mary. Maybe it was the wedding that made it all too much. For myself since that first summer you have had a positive influence on our lives. What the three of you achieved and then set up is something totally unique. Never mind what you enabled for Leslie, emotionally and materially. And Mary knows and cherishes all that. What she cannot separate in her mind is so much good and success against the loss of Faith. So there you are, you were and are right. For all of us, better late than never but I am sorry for what it has made you feel. I will make an effort to come and see you when you are here in town but we both know that it will be a while for Mary. Because in additional to the anger and bitterness now she has guilt on top of it, and I know she will be embarrassed when she sees you. It is a mess.”

“I understand. I thought about it, part of the reason I was over so much was that I got on better with you and Mary and Leslie than I did with my own parents and Rowan. I was a constant presence on Sunday evenings because Rowan was such a brat when Leslie was at mine. My own family dysfunction hurt yours. I hope Helen Graham can help.”

“The vast majority of the time you did not hurt her. All the times over the years when she has thanked you, talked about the positive impact on our life, that is all true. But sadly it is counter-balanced at other times, like now, by anger and bitterness.”

There was nothing else to say. They had all fucked up and Mary Campbell had suffered silently through it for too long. Andrew hoped that she would find peace. Brian did not stay for dinner and Leslie had gone and collected Suzanne. It was just the four of them and it was like the previous summer. They could talk about anything and all took turns in the crosshairs. Okay it seemed Andrew was zinged more than the others but what the hell. After dinner he and Leslie walked to the end of the garden and looked over the wall at the orphan lot.