Chapter 3

Soft sunlight filtered through the thin window screen, illuminating the room and me in a cosy orange hue. I stopped everything, shut my eyes, and just breathed in, letting the moment pass. My head finally cleared up of thoughts and I was once again able to focus again. Sometimes, I wish I didn’t have to think so much. Every moment of my life has just been thinking and thinking and it makes me numb to the real enjoyment in life.

Sigh. Time for a break.

I felt the tightness from the night set in, so quickly got about doing some routine morning exercises. Nothing great, a couple of sets of stretches followed by a few sets of push-ups and squats. You will surprised how great it feels after doing a round of morning exercises, especially nude. Next in line of business was getting this layer of sweat off me. I quickly hopped into the shower for a nice dose of hot water. Before long, I was out in my undies preparing a cup of morning joe. Mom always prepares breakfast before leaving. This time it was a plate of flavoured rice, a South Indian classic. I long to eat chicken or even eggs in the morning, but I would have to spend my own money. That is because Mom is a vegetarian. She thinks I am a vegetarian too because I was a bit afraid to tell her I wasn’t. I am certain she would be completely fine with it, but I didn’t want to open that can of worms. I began to debate if it was worth the effort to go outside and get a few eggs, but in the end, I just decided to make do with what I got.

Not going to lie, having no meat did ruin my mood a little. I walked back to my room with my cup of coffee before settling in front of the computer. This has pretty much been my morning routine for the past few months. Wake up, exercise, shower, get coffee and breakfast, and plop in front of the computer. What I do in front of the computer depends on the mood. If I am not feeling horny, I usually just hang around forums, watch random ass videos, or every now and then watch a movie. But if I am in the mood, which is like ninety per cent of the time, I am beginning to jack off and try to keep it going until Mom returns. But today, I am in a bad mood and unsure how to go about it.

I switched on my pc and opened up the browser when I was suddenly greeted by a giant breast woman shoving her tits in my face. Oh right, I didn’t close the browser properly last night. Well it doesn’t matter anymore, all the cooldown I maintained till now was gone and my cock began to push its way out of my underwear.

Sigh. Here we go again. I picked up the mug and took a sip. Warm coffee travelled down my chest, cheering me up somewhat. But it is only a matter of time before I get back into the mental stress.

I have to make a decision now. The way I see it, I am not going to give up on my porn dream, so, the only options are, I either make a honest attempt to romance Mom or distance myself from her, like I am doing now.

I wish I had a sibling. Just so I can be sure Mom will be left alone. Right now, I can’t see Mom surviving or rather, I can’t see Mom living alone. But will the other option work? Will she be receptive? It is morally right to even do that? It is a confusion that has frustrated me for years. But at this moment, looking at it, it feels like this bond will break either way. So, why not do what the heart desires?

I put the coffee down and begin typing away on the keyboard.