Chapter 2

Every time Andrew returned to Cambridge he immediately felt better, or at least calmer. For the fourth time he had returned without disappointment or regret at the end of the break. There was a stability to life at Cambridge which he did not have anywhere else. The Adams’ did not even bother staying when they dropped them off, Andrew helped Justin with his stuff and other than Justin getting a kiss from his mother their departure was wonderfully brief and low key.

“I love how your parents throw you out and just head straight home.”

“I know. You see some of the students and it is this long drawn out farewell. They have been home for six weeks and they will be back in nine or ten but you would think they are leaving forever. I will endure a peck on the cheek from Mum if they just drop and run. You being here was ideal to help with the bags.”

They had walked through into Whewell’s Court while talking and Andrew helped carry his bags up to his set.

“Come over any time after 6.00. We’ll see who else is here and decide about dinner.”

Back in his room in New Court Andrew unpacked, a task of seven minutes and then sat at his desk and thought about his life. He grabbed a pad of paper and thought about his life goals. Two of them were close to being retired from the list. Andrew could not stop exercising or swimming now, it was part of his daily routine. One thing to consider with life after university was access to a pool. If he ended up in his mews house in London then Marshall Street was not too far. But fitness as a goal was as ingrained as studying, it was part of who he was. Without being stupidly cocky Andrew also knew that university was a goal that was close to being redundant as well. Although he was less than half way through the course he was enjoying it, and felt he belonged. Just as five years before career had been a placeholder goal, so it was with those two.

But it was difficult and complicated after that. The remaining four original goals, as well as the unofficial seventh goal of love, were all interlinked in Andrew’s mind. Making a difference for many years been about the company and making money. That was done. Currently it was his personal commitment at Addenbrooke’s but it was not much more than that at present. Now volunteering at an emotionally draining ward was not insignificant but in one weekend in Paris Andrew had spent more time standing around naked while being filmed as he had as a ward volunteer for a whole term. This was where Karma intersected with this goal. Helping others without worrying about the impact on yourself, doing something for the right reason not for the publicity or to make you feel good. Now that was the very definition of working in the children’s cancer ward. But where Andrew got confused was with things like the Paris weekend. Heloise had wanted him as the other model in her commercial, for a whole variety of reasons. So he was helping a friend, but it was hardly a selfless act. Spending all day with three beautiful naked women and going back to the hotel with a fourth, everyone should be so lucky to be so selfless! But the mindset was doing something for them, and not caring about himself, which was true. Andrew’s friends and mentors had all been concerned about the future impact on him of showing his arse to the world and he had brushed those concerns aside. So Paris not only confused him on a personal emotional level but left him sitting there thinking about helping others and the ways that he had done that.

Paris and karma led straight onto balance, a goal he was getting better at. One of the ways that Cambridge had felt so calming was that this year it conformed to Andrew’s vision of student life, particularly the nights of dinner, cards, booze and conversation. He had a great bunch of friends, classes were going really well and he was getting laid a lot, especially at the end of the term. Andrew had seen or stayed with five different friends over the break and frankly was a better friend now there in Cambridge than he ever had been at school in Edinburgh.

That break in particular Andrew had been much better about stopping being a whiny teenage git worrying about friendship, sex and love. The abruptness of Suzanne stopping communication showed him that things changed very quickly. She had been a constant in his life for five years and in the space of a term had walked away. He hoped that their friendship would remain once things had settled down but at that moment he had no way of knowing. He and Helena had managed to smoothly move to friends without fucking over the course of the term and he saw her most weekends, as well as still getting her out of bed in the morning. As for him and Abi, it was all still too fresh. But she seemed to have purged the modelling fantasy from her mind and was still talking about dating and fucking other guys for the rest of the year. What this all meant for him? He had no idea, but he had finally listened to the ‘we are still young’ line that he had been using for the last two years. He was 19 and clueless as to what he wanted in his partner. Looking back on the previous week with Rupashi was a classic example. It had been a very memorable encounter but Andrew wasn’t sure what he thought about Rupashi. Yes, she was smart and sexy but she had always been honest about the future path of her life, even as they had flirted and chatted at the edge of that. Less than a week ago she wanted a night of passion and Andrew gave her that, but she didn’t want his love. For once he had not gone overboard, had reined in the hyperbole and just concentrated on the one night knowing that it was never going to be repeated. As Andrew sat and thought about all this, he kept coming back to Suzanne. What he had with Suzanne had grown and matured over years. From the earliest days of their friendship they had talked and the person he was most comfortable with in the whole world was her. He had felt her absence keenly and missed her in his life. He thought back to the engagement party, it would have been many times more relaxing and enjoyable with her there. As Andrew sat there he pondered her oft repeated statement that they had a sell-by date. Had it always been true?

The final goal was beyond the event horizon, nothing was visible to Andrew about his career. Unless he screwed up royally he was going to end up with a Master’s degree in Engineering from Cambridge University. A ticket to anywhere and anything he wanted. But what interested him was niche and specialised, and Andrew was not sure that it would hold his attention for a career. One of the challenges of having done so much in the last six years was that the following 45 stretched endlessly in front of him. He made a separate note to talk to Mhairi and get her started on setting up an engineering company. Leslie had reminded him of Seneca’s quote and he needed to start making some plans. If he was going to work on engineering problems, of whatever sort, then it was better to be ready. Mhairi had once told Andrew that the fees for a dormant company, a company in name only that was not active yet, were minimal. He also would grant Julian 10% of the company, the same as Julian was planning to do with him with his computer company. Good luck charms worked both ways.

It felt good to have something to do, something to move forward. It was also just a flash 19 year old setting up an engineering company because he could. Andrew was pretty sure that step was in lieu of him having any idea what the future held for him career-wise. But he had something on a list, something to do, it was the first step. So there it was, a review of his goals. Andrew sat there, on a cold January day thinking that he was pretty under control. Remember his record on clairvoyance?

Justin and Andrew were the only ones back of their group of friends so they went to Formal Hall, not for any burning desire but more from a ‘why not’ attitude. At Formal Hall you had to join the end of a table rather than sit apart in your own groups. This forced more mingling with people that you would not normally talk to, especially older years. Sometimes it was a slog but more often it was an interesting evening listening to people talk about obscure or specialist areas. Given that you could study almost anything at Cambridge there was an amazing array of different areas even within one College. Their dinner companions that evening did not stand out but who did catch his eye was the black woman he had seen a couple of times the previous term. She was not a member of the College to his knowledge but rather an occasional guest. She had a direct confident air to her and Andrew was caught staring at her a couple of times. She was with another group so he did not go over or anything so bold but he found himself smiling later that night as he thought about her.

Sunday Andrew swam as usual before heading to the library. He made his three regular calls to his Grandma, Maggie and Leslie, although he spent a fair bit of time talking to Julian as well. Andrew also tried Suzanne’s number and as usual she did not answer the phone. He left a message saying he had called but after what Leslie had told him before Christmas he didn’t bother with a longer message. She clearly had someone running interference for her. Andrew’s final call was to Heloise as there had been a letter waiting for him upon his return to College asking to give her a call. Andrew called and gave her the number and then waited for her return call. The usual chit chat, catching up on the holidays and all the pleasantries of life took up the first few minutes as usual.

“The reason I asked you to give me a call is about the commercials Andrew. I think they are going to be successful, and maybe even cause a bit of a sensation. What I wanted to check is that you have an agent because Veronique and Hermes are going to be inundated with enquiries about you.”

In Andrew’s mind he had put the shoot behind him, it was done and he doubted he would do something like that again. This just flung it all back in his face.

“An agent? Really?”

“Andrew, other people are going to want to work with you. They need somewhere to call.”

“But I don’t want any more work.”

“Doesn’t matter, they don’t know that. And you never know what the offer might be.”

Heloise’s tone was suggestive in the extreme.

“You behave.”

Giggling was his only response.

“Seriously, do I really need to do this? I don’t think I am going to do anything like this again, so what is the point?”

“To stop them bothering you. When the commercials are first shown there will be significant interest.”

Andrew could see her point but he just didn’t want to have the hassle of dealing with all this.

“And you should talk to Manon about a stage name as well. You don’t want them to start looking for you in real life.”

This was getting silly.

“And before you tell me that is ridiculous, save your breath. It is very important if this is not your life. Make up a name, confirm it Manon so that when the commercials come out everyone is looking for Andrew whoever, not you.”

Andrew was a poor conversationalist for the rest of the call but promised he would write soon and let her know what was happening with all this. Once he hung up he called Leslie back just so that she could laugh at him some more. Instead he was surprised.

“Wow, I had not thought about any of that. Had you?”

“Nothing, that is why I am calling you again.”

“Well my exhibitionist friend it is actually quite easy. We upgraded the switchboard at the office to deal with the two different Trusts. Given that the property company or fund was on the cards and Julian’s computer company soon as well I got them to give us five separate lines, separate numbers. We will use the fifth one for you until the fuss dies down. Morag knows how to answer the phone for all the different businesses, so this is just one more to deal with. There are days when she is light on work so it is not a big deal. She can be your agent and take all the messages. I will get her to organise a PO Box for you. What else?”

That last was rhetorical as Andrew was reeling from Leslie’s organised response.

“What is the agency called, and what are you called?”

For 15 minutes they went back and forth on the options.

“So Heloise thinks you should stay as Andrew but change your surname?”

“That’s what she said.”

“Okay, so let me get the atlas and figure this out.”

There was a momentary pause then she was back.

“Let’s put them off the scent. Go for a name that appears to be linked to another place.”

“Eh?”

“Like Andrew Glasgow, or Andrew Aberdeen just not as blatant.”

“Oh right, I see what you mean. One of the islands maybe?”

“Okay. Harris? Lewis? Hoy? Flotta? Bressay?”

“Stop. Say that last one again.”

“Bressay.”

“I like that one as it sounds a bit French. Where is it? Orkney?”

“Close but no, it is one of the Shetland Islands.”

“There’s the name of the modelling agency. Shetland Models. Andrew Bressay.”

Poor old Leslie and Morag had a busy week getting all that put in place but to the general public he was now Andrew Bressay, model. When the commercials were released he was incredibly grateful to Heloise because it was chaos for a couple of weeks but that was all in the future.

Once his modelling persona had been created and dealt with Andrew sat down to write his start of term letters. Just catching up with a bunch of people, most of whom he had seen over the break. There was the usual short empty letter to his mother and a more personal one to Nikki and Fran. He followed up his call to Suzanne with a short note just letting her know that he had missed her at Christmas and that he hoped she was doing well. Two lines to Pete as usual confirming the weekend that he would be back in Edinburgh. The last two could not have been more different. First he wrote to Mhairi asking her to set in motion the engineering company. Given that he was giving Julian 10% he went with AMJS Engineering, using their initials was another good luck gesture harking back to their first company together. He would deal with signing the paperwork when he returned in March but Mhairi could get it all started in the meantime. Finally he wrote to Mandy Brown. Just a catch-up letter, as they always were, letting her know he was happy to answer any questions that she had and just maintaining a little correspondence. She was a year removed from Addenbrooke’s and was half way through her penultimate year at school. The upcoming summer she would be working on her UCCA application. Andrew smiled at the thought, despite having no idea whether she would even apply to Cambridge never mind Trinity. Her letters suggested that she had been doing well at school but that was all he knew. Andrew didn’t care where Mandy went to university, she was more important to him than that. She was totemic to him as a survivor, a living antidote to his doubts and despondency from volunteering in the ward. She was also the person that he had connected to the most, an anomaly based on the last year. If she had grown taller, put on some weight and her hair had grown back Andrew doubted he would recognise her if he walked past her but that was irrelevant. She had escaped, she had a life, a future and it meant more to him than it should. So all his admin tasks were done, and he could enjoy catching up with everyone back at the College. He had even managed to avoid lugging anyone’s bags this time.

Everyone was back and both Hall and the bar after were loud and busy. Everyone was talking over everyone else and the whole night was a great laugh. Helena was the only one that was a little quiet but Andrew never had a chance to chat to her. Matt and Navya were being ever more obvious about their status and it was good to see, although it made him think of Rupashi lying on the bed. Bad Andrew.

Abi and Andrew were the first away, again she was not being particularly discreet about their intentions either. They got back to his room after stopping to use the bathroom on the way up the stair. That night Andrew lay on his back at the end of the bed, his legs stretched out to the floor and positioned Abi above. He loved eating pussy like this, there was a very different dynamic to the act, he felt more in control of the woman’s actions, his hands on her hips had a better grasp then cradling her bum in the normal position. Andrew teased Abi for a long time, letting the tension in her body build. He was too often greedy and in a hurry to make a woman orgasm but on occasion, like that night, he teased for longer than normal. When you eat as much pussy as he did, then your partners all know that you can make them orgasm. Abi knew he could make her come and come hard so there was this sense of impending, well not doom exactly, but the longer Andrew held off the more intense the resulting orgasm. Or at least that was his plan.

Just the act of slipping two fingers into her had Abi shaking and when his dual assault started it was everything Andrew hoped. Grinding, knee slamming, it consumed her from her stomach to her knees. To produce that intense a reaction, that much pleasure, it got him every time. He slipped out from under Abi and let her lie on his bed recovering. After a quick wash Andrew lay beside her, stoking her back and bum.

“I knew it was going to be huge, I feel like I am floating, barely touching the bed, oh Andrew.”

The condom packet was left unopened, his relief would have to wait. Abi fell asleep within minutes, her beautiful face resting on his shoulder, stretched out naked beside him. His reward from an embarrassed friend was a spirited fuck first thing in the morning. She was all bent out of shape that she had fallen asleep but it was the strangest thing. With either Suzanne or Helena it would have been a game and their fucking would have reflected that. With Abi it was different, other than the fantasy about modelling, they didn’t mind fuck. He and Abi fucked hard and often but compared to either Helena or Suzanne it was still pretty vanilla. After swimming he stopped at Peggy’s Café for the first time that term.