Chapter 8: Jill

“Hello? Frank? Is everything okay? Did you get fired for being late?”

I was in my room, dressed in my sweats and putting polish on my toenails when Frank called. Nothing special, but feeling a lot more relaxed than I had in months. Even Daddy had noticed that I wasn’t so sensitive today.

“No, I’m okay. We got to the job with plenty of time to spare. You know how it is. Everybody gets nervous on a big job and wants everybody else to do everything right away, even wait for work to begin. We were probably 30 minutes early, after all.

“I’m calling - actually we’re calling - to see how your first day went. We’re all here at the apartment on the speaker phone and want you to continue your thoughts now that there’s time. Is this a good time to talk?”

“Sure,” I replied, feeling really confident now, for some reason. “I want to say that I was hesitant earlier about whether I’d be able to do everything you had talked about, but now that I had a little bit of time at the trailer with the equipment and all, I think I can do it, and I’m a little excited at the prospect of getting in on the ground floor, you know?”

“We’re all really glad to hear that, Jill. A couple of us had typical days and are really looking forward to this getting off the ground so we can get out of these crummy jobs! So, to continue this afternoon’s discussion, you’re okay with the nature of the business? I’m guessing so since you’ve already handled your first customer. That was a real surprise to us all, you know, since Eddie hasn’t even really begun marketing or advertising yet. I guess someone just saw our business card and showed up. Still, it looks like you came through with flying colors! No complaints, right? And you didn’t have any trouble handling the delivery?”

What the hell was he talking about? Customer? The deliveryman? I wouldn’t call him a customer, but what do I know about this business?

“Nope, no problems with the delivery at all. He showed up about 90 minutes after you guys left, helped me put the Sybs into the car, took my signature, and left. Easy! I took them out to the trailer, read the instructions (my stomach suddenly got the squirmies again as I remembered today’s events), and assembled three of them. The other three are still in the original boxes under the floor in the storage compartment. It looked clean and dry there, so I shouldn’t expect any damage to them there. Still, if you want me to, I can take them out, inspect them, and put them back in storage tomorrow. As to the business, I guess I’m fine with it. At least I’m okay with the concept of it. It’s sort of like a social service, as I understand it. I’m helping run a business that helps people unwind and deal with everyday frustrations that build up and need to be released. Of course, the concept isn’t usually the same as the operation, so I’ll just have to wait and see if I’m okay with day to day operations.”

“Good,” said Frank. “I’m glad to hear that’s how you think. It fits our partnership perfectly. Now, I’m done - does anybody else have anything to talk about?”

“Eddie here, Jill. I want to ask you to put together a standard operating procedure for the trailer when you get the chance. I stopped by this evening after work at the diner to look at the HVAC because there’s a vibration that I don’t like. When I went in, I noticed the intense smell and thought perhaps nobody had told you to turn on the HVAC fan when you open up for business. I saw that you had our first customer when I went into the CCTV system to see how it’s working, and I’m guessing that’s where the smell came from. Anyway, we’ve taken note and will be working on the air filtration and odor abatement issues right away. Until we get a chance to fix that problem, though, we’re gonna need to follow procedures pretty rigorously - make sure it gets deodorized after each customer leaves along with the cleanup. By the way, you did a great job on the cleanup. I couldn’t tell there was anyone there except for the smell and the CCTV!”

OH.

MY.

GOD!!!

“Thanks,” I said feebly, “I cleaned as best I could, and I’ll write up that SOP tomorrow first thing!”

My GOD! How could I have forgotten the CCTV?? My whole performance, from locking the door to clean up was recorded!! CUSTOMER? Me? They think I’m their first customer?

“OH SHIT!” I exclaimed and knocked my nail polish onto the floor. I could feel my cheeks and neck turning scarlet from embarrassment as Momma knocked and entered my room.

“Are you all right, dear? What happened?” she asked intently.

“Oh, I guess,” I thought quickly, “I’m talking to the partners about my first day and knocked my nail polish onto the rug. I think it’s ruined!” I pretended to be distraught over the rug’s destruction, when actually I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about it. I was really distraught about destroying my business career and my family’s social life with my thoughtless actions.

“Oh, these things happen, dear. Don’t let it get you down. We can try to clean it out, and if that doesn’t work, we can cover it up with furniture or replace it. It’s just a rug! Here, let me try to sop it up while you finish your call.” And she proceeded to get an old rag from the bin and lift the spilled polish from the rug without spreading it farther.

“Jill, are you there? Are you okay?” asked Eddie.

“I’m here, and I’m okay, Eddie. Thanks for asking. I just spilled some nail polish on the rug, that’s all. You’re absolutely right! I forgot to turn on the fan after leaving tonight, so that’s going to be the very first thing in the SOP tomorrow! By the way, does the CCTV run all the time? Even when there’s nobody there? If there’s a switch, maybe I should add something to the SOP to make sure it’s running?” I crossed my fingers in hope.

“Nope, no switch. It runs 24/7/365, and there’s no tapes, either. Everything is recorded as a continuous stream on hard disk, so nobody has to really do anything. It automatically starts recording a new file when the current one gets too large, so there are no tapes to fool with, either. By the way, how much did you charge the customer today? I don’t think we even have a price schedule built yet!”

There it was. I had to lie.

“Oh, I didn’t charge anything. I offered a free trial to begin ‘social advertising,’ but in reality I wanted to get an idea of the day to day operational aspects of the business, like I mentioned to Frank. Afterwards I cleaned up, so I know what that entails, and completely overlooked deodorizing the place, so now I know that has to be done, too. It was sort of a win-win for us and the customer. A free climax for the customer, a trial run for us to help work out the operational kinks! I hope you don’t want to take the fee out of my salary!” Hah, What salary?

“Randy here, Jill. That was really ingenious of you! I’d have never thought of doing that. It’s commendable, right guys?”

I heard them all agree, and then heard Eddie in the background quietly mention to one of the guys “I’d like to try another trial run, if we can. I’d really like to meet that customer - she’s SMOKIN’ hot!”