Chapter 97: Belated Meetings

Friday, May 17, 1985

After breakfast with Mom, Jas and I packed up and headed off to the Nguyen house. Angie and Paige joined us just before lunch, so the four of us had lunch with Camille. A slightly rushed lunch, because Angie and I had an appointment with Jane at one. She wanted to be done in time to have plenty of time with Dad.

On our way to Jane’s office, Angie sighed and said, “It’s been too long.”

“It really has,” I said. “Totally understandable, but — if we can — it’ll be good to get back down here more often.”

“Phone calls work fairly well, and we saw her at the show, but nothing beats being there in person.”

“I agree,” I said.

“Did you tell Mom we were going?”

I nodded, and said, “I did. She’s happy. It’s obviously worked so far, so why mess with success?”

“That’s how I feel!” Angie said, chuckling. “That, and ... well. Paige has pointed out that I probably still have ‘issues.’ I mean, nothing that’s hurting us, but ... she had some really good points this spring. Stuff I don’t think about so much, like: how much did I need to back off and have a long time where it was just Paige and me? Probably a lot more than I thought I needed it. Jane and I talked about that, but there’s ... you know ... stuff.”

I nodded.

“Same with me and all the self-image stuff. And the leadership stuff.”

She chuckled, and said, “Yeah, we all see that. It’s not surprising, really. Fifty-ish years of being overweight and at least thinking you weren’t attractive, plus a marriage that I’m sure didn’t make you feel like a ‘leader’, and ... yeah. Overcoming that in under five years was a challenge. I only spent seven years in prison and I’ll have some scars for a long time. They’re really well hidden, but they’re there.”

“Yet, of course, only our ‘inner circle’ sees any of this.”

“Yeah. Once you get past the people who know, it all looks absurd. Why would either of us have any big issues?”

“We’ve been successful at everything we’ve tried, we get along well with most people, our grades are excellent, and we don’t do drugs or drink too much,” I said.

“Et cetera and so forth,” Angie said, waving a hand. “We’re model kids. Maybe we should be, but I can’t help but think many people might have screwed this up.”

“Probably,” I said, nodding. “Or ‘succeeded’ in ways we don’t want to.”

She snorted a bit at that.

“If you’d been ‘Iceberg Steve’, I’d have been Trish Harrison times ten, but with a clue. I’d have been Homecoming Queen, Prom Queen, and a bunch of other things. Probably also bombed out of my head half of the time, but still mostly A’s just because I’d already graduated high school once! If you had been ‘Asshole Steve’, on the other hand, we’d be rich by now. I’d probably think I was happy, but deep inside I’d very likely be miserable.”

“If you hadn’t been here, I’d have gotten a date, but nothing like my freshman year. Everything else goes astray from there. If you were here, but were just ‘you,’ I’d have burned myself out trying to keep you from being bombed out of your head or too much of a bitch to people.”

“Oh, we’d have fought like cats and dogs about that!” she said, giggling. “Mom would have been so disappointed!”

“Jane helped, though, either way,” I said.

“Jane helped a ton,” she said. “I ... it feels ... it feels wrong...”

She paused, shook her head, and said, “No, it feels dirty to say Candice did us a favor, but ... well, it’s our mantra. ‘All is for the best.’ No Candice going off the rails, no Jane. No Jane, and I have this bad feeling we wouldn’t have told Jas or Paige, even if Laura had happened. Too scary!”

“Not yet,” I said. “I was always going to tell Jas, but...”

“More of a last-minute thing.”

“Yeah, that.”

She sighed, and I continued, saying, “I don’t think it’s dirty. Candice ... well, from a religious standpoint, one can say God works miracles out of whatever He chooses. Or there’s our go-to quote, or ‘silk purse out of a sow’s ear,’ or ... whatever. The thing is, Candice was already in trouble before you arrived in this universe, much less me. Either Whoever It Is is a big planner and loves moving people around the chess board, or we just lucked into the right situation.”

“Yeah,” Angie said, sighing.

“The other thing is ... it makes objective sense. You’re the new girl with no friends. Candice feels like an outcast, even if she isn’t. You cling to her, she clings to you. I show up and I want someone to date. Drop the things we didn’t know about Candice and she’s ... not perfect, I see that now, but she was great, and it would have lasted a long time. Everything happens for good reasons, not just because of odd coincidences.”

“Too true,” she said, “Plus, there’s ‘You can’t argue with results.’ Candice is happy, and she might be perfect for Sherry. Vice versa, too. We meet Jane and she makes us both better, which helps make us perfect for Paige and Jasmine.”

“Can’t argue with results, indeed,” I said, chuckling.

We parked outside Jane’s office and headed in, arm in arm.

I let Angie go first. That wasn’t all that unusual, and she might have had more to talk about than I did.

She came out, we touched hands, and then I headed back, taking my usual seat. It felt good to be back here after so long away.

“So,” Jane said, “Angie already stole your thunder about your grades and all of that. As if I had any doubts, but it’s not that unusual for high achievers to struggle in college for one reason or another.”

“My first-life roommate had some ... difficulties ... with alcohol,” I said, nodding.

“Which is actually something I said to Angie. Under other circumstances, I might have encouraged her to avoid alcohol entirely, but with your social circle? It feels like you’ve made that transition with flying colors.”

“It can always sneak up on people,” I said, “But I have faith in us, at least for now.”

“Speaking of faith, you’ve mentioned that before.”

I nodded.

“I did some checking. There’s an active Unitarian Universalist congregation in Bryan. It’s small, but they’ve got a little church not far from campus. We didn’t attend, but I think we need to put it on the schedule next fall and commit. Obviously, I’m not going to push anything on anyone, but there’s not much to push with Unitarian Universalism anyway.”

She nodded.

“I’ve read up on them. They’re a good option for some people in my regular practice. Some kids want a religious identity but have become so disillusioned with their current church there’s no salvaging anything.”

“They’re a good option for us, I think. Cammie will likely stick to being fundamentally Christian, but in a very liberal and open-minded way. She’d be fine — heck, I think we’d all be fine! — in a liberal mainline Christian denomination, but UUism offers some real advantages.”

“Not one of the more liberal Lutheran faiths? I could see that going well with your family.”

I chuckled, and said, “Aunt Helen already knows those churches are ‘heretics.’ It wouldn’t help. And ... well, do you care if I give you a minor ‘spoiler?’”

“Spoiler?” she said, then paused. After a second, she shook her head, then said, “From the future?”

“From mine, anyway.”

“Spoil away, if it’s minor.”

“Those will all be one denomination within a few years, unless this universe is different. It’ll be called the ELCA — Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. Or maybe ‘of America,’ but I think it’s ‘in.’”

“Interesting! That makes a lot of sense, really.”

“I’d win points with Mom and Dad if I went ELCA, but not big ones. UU will also win points, mostly because one can believe anything and be a UU. There’s a certain freedom to saying I’m pursuing my own search for truth and meaning.”

“Indeed!”

“This is also all interesting, but we might be sidetracking? Or did you want to talk religion?”

She chuckled and nodded.

“It’s sidetracking. We do that a lot!”

“It’s pretty much why we have the relationship we do, though.”

“Definitely! If you’d stuck to just talking about Candice...” she said.

“ ... we’d all have lost.”

“Indeed! Speaking of whom?”

“We’re all ready for her and Sherry to move in. I’ll admit to some nerves, but they’re about our need to make sure neither of them is around before talking about a wide variety of things.”

She nodded.

“I’m nearly in disbelief that I can sign off on you and Candice being in the same house, but that’s what happens with you and Angie! This could never work with nearly anyone else.”

“I’m not sure it could work without the basement,” I said. “Or, really, without an apartment with its own entrance. The issue isn’t me, not now. Or, at least, not directly. Jas and I are too solid, and Jas is fully aware of my history with Candice and why it would be insane to even attempt to ‘rekindle’ anything. Meanwhile, Candice and Sherry are too solid, too, I think. That makes it less likely for her to be tempted, but also puts her firmly in the category of ‘cheating,’ which is against one of the strongest rules Jas and I have. We’re all good. So, really, the most important thing is giving them space to be themselves and letting them integrate with us only as much as they want to.”

“That all makes sense. I’ve told Sandy and Erwin that I approve, and for mostly the same reasons. Leaving out the secrets, obviously, but I think they’d understand you and the others having things that are only between you and not for even close friends.”

“Hard to be otherwise after a year of college and over four years of seeing Candice at most monthly.”

She sighed.

“Over four years! Sometimes it doesn’t feel that long at all.”

“Believe me, I know! Time flies when you’re having fun.”

“Speaking of having fun...”

I chuckled, guessing where she was going.

“ ... tell me about Claire.”

I did, running through the highlights of our ... whatever it was. ‘Relationship?’ ‘Affair?’ ‘Fling?’ None of those were quite right, nor were they truly wrong.

She smiled as I wrapped up.

“I got much the same from Angie, but she admits she was much more at arm’s length for this than previous relationships.”

“As of now, I think it’s been good for Claire. I know it was good for me and Jas. We needed the time without doing something like this, but we needed to try this, too. Claire and Katy were pretty fundamentally different from any of the high school ‘flings.’ Mostly for being longer, of course. The only exception is Jess, and she’s in an entirely different category.”