Chapter 60: Movies and Money

Saturday, February 2, 1985

The discussion of renting movies from last night turned into a trip to a video store this afternoon.

The outcome of that wasn’t entirely what any of us had expected. Oh, we rented a couple of ‘classics’ that (surprisingly or not) only Angie and I had seen (and not together). One of those was ‘Young Frankenstein’, and the other was ‘Animal House’.

‘Animal House’ was the first surprise. The thing was: Jas, Ang, Paige, and I had talked about ‘Animal House’ years ago, and had even proposed renting it, but never had. Only now, almost two years later, did Jas and Paige realize Angie’s offhand reference to it was a slip, and her ‘friend’ who ‘had a copy of it on VHS’ was, in fact, her future self.

In deference to the location, they forewent any whapping.

The second surprise was, in many ways, predictable. We’d talked for years about renting something from the ‘adult film’ section, but never had gone through with it. Tonight was different. Paige dragged Angie into the curtained-off area first. After a bit, Paige emerged and forced Cammie into there, too.

It was, I thought, a bold choice. Of the two of them, I’d probably have selected Mel to be the one to see if the film passed muster. Not because she would be better at it, necessarily, but because I knew what adult-film video boxes looked like. Cammie would be looking at a lot of body parts she didn’t enjoy looking at.

Still, there were no screams or even outraged squawks. After a bit, they emerged with two tape boxes. Paige and Ang were slightly red-faced, while Cammie was quite a bit redder, but all three were nonetheless all smiles.

We wound up renting all four and heading home.

On the drive back, Mel said, “Not that I mind — because I am curious! — but what inspired this?”

Paige giggled, and said, “We’ve been talking about this forever! Like, years! It seemed like we should either just go for it or admit that we’re not going to.”

“Besides,” Angie said, “All of you missed out on ‘Young Frankenstein’ and ‘Animal House’ because you were too young for it. I mean, so did Steve and I, at the time. So, if we’re going to jump to ‘grown-up movies,’ why not go for it and pick ‘adult’ movies, too?”

“What’d you get?” Jas said.

“We spent a long time looking,” Paige said.

“Some of the boxes are ... um... educational,” Cammie said, blushing.

“She means they have explicit pictures from the movies,” Angie added, grinning.

“Yes! That!” Cammie said.

“Anyway, one is ‘Marilyn Chambers’ Private Fantasies’,” Paige said. “Marilyn’s hot and it’s got some boy-girl stuff and some just-girl stuff, so we won’t lose half the audience.”

“To be fair, I’m the only one who’s not at all interested,” Cammie said, “And I don’t mind the idea of watching. Like ... don’t get too near me with one of those, but been there, done that on watching. It’s not ... I mean...”

She was getting redder, but managed to finish, saying, “ ... it’s not going to turn me straight or anything. It’s not going to make me throw up, either.”

“That works,” Ang said, giggling a bit.

“Definitely!” Paige said.

“So,” Cammie said, “The other one is all girls. It’s got a totally absurd title, too.”

“Dare I guess?” Mel said.

“You’d never guess. It’s called ‘Tennis Without Balls’,” Cammie said.

Mel snorted, then said, “Um ... well... ‘love’ is part of tennis, I guess.”

“That’s what I said!” Paige said, grinning.

We watched ‘Animal House’ after dinner. There was a lot of giggling, but all of us agreed that it was a classic. Some of the scenes, like Bluto’s ridiculous (but also endearing) rant about ‘The Germans bombing Pearl Harbor,’ had the girls in stitches. Paige and Jas both swore that, at some point, I should do something as over-the-top as Otter’s ‘We’re not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America!’ speech.

I could probably manage that. Of course, so could any of them, and they knew it.

‘Animal House’ was about as far as imaginable from our college experience thus far, yet somehow it still connected with us in a way I hadn’t expected. I’m not sure I’d seen it while I was in college in my first life, and I think that made a difference.

All of us loved the closing ‘what happened later’ quotes. Paige opined that perhaps Nedermeyer had woken up in a second life getting a chance to be ‘less of a dick!’

We all found that amusing, but also oddly hopeful.

And, of course, that ‘dick’ comment produced the perfect segue to our porn-watching. Marilyn Chambers wound up going first, and her first scene was with the extremely impressive John Holmes. Cammie and I were of one mind on this one: looking at guys’ equipment wasn’t really our cup of tea, but it’s part of the experience of watching straight porn.

Jas, Ang, Paige, and even Mel had some thoughts on how pleasant (or not) such a thing would be, though. They seemed fairly certain that too much of a good thing was, indeed, too much. For my part, I hadn’t gotten any complaints from the three of them who would’ve been in a position to complain, and that was good enough for me.

After another scene with a guy (playing George Washington!) and a girl (not Marilyn), we got to a two-girl section (neither Marilyn), then one with three guys and one girl (still not Marilyn), before finally seeing Marilyn again, this time in the company of two witches. The girls all cheered for a lesbian threesome. And, of course, teased me about enjoying it.

As if I wouldn’t!

We were running out of interest by the last scene (Marilyn and two guys), and I think the couples were all feeling a bit energetic (which stood to reason, given the previous scene), so we turned off the VCR and headed to bed.

Definitely not to sleep! Not for a while yet!

Sunday, February 3, 1985

We gathered around the new speakerphone and called Grandmother and Professor Berman today. The whole thing continued to amuse me. I’m not sure I had ever called them on my own in my first life. Now, not only was I calling them, but Professor Berman knew (and liked!) everyone else in the house (except Mel, of course, who he’d never met).

We didn’t speak to them all that long, but it was clear how much they cherished these calls. I’d never known how much Grandmother wanted to know her grandchildren. Now, she had girlfriends to account for as well.

Thankfully, she approved. If she hadn’t, things might have been very different, though I think Professor Berman would have helped considerably. Of course, perhaps he already had.

They were doing well, albeit with the usual aches and pains of old age and the constant succession of tests and medical visits.

We (Jas, Angie, Paige, and me) would definitely make our way up there this summer. I very much doubted Cammie and Mel would, but that was fine. That Cammie even knew Professor Berman was more than I would have imagined not all that long ago!

We got a call in the early afternoon. I answered it, which was convenient because it turned out to be Michael Dell.

“Got the preliminary quarterlies for you,” he said, once we’d said hi.

“Good news?”

“Well,” he said. “Good news and bad news, but the bad news is also good news.”

“Do tell!”

He chuckled, and said, “We didn’t quite triple again, but we finished the quarter a bit over $8 million in sales!”

“Very cool!”

“Profits didn’t follow. That’s the semi-bad news. I mean, we have nothing to be ashamed of. Net profits were right around $1 million, which is less than twice last quarter’s.”

“If you’d said ten months ago that you’d be doing a million a quarter in profit...” I said.

He chuckled, and said, “Oh, I know! I’d have been thrilled with the idea of a million a quarter in revenue back then. You really helped accelerate things!”

“Something I’m very happy about!”

“And you should be! One hundred thousand of that is yours, technically. Not that you’d take it out, I know, but still.”

“Great payoff, in theory anyway,” I said.

“The hidden good news is that the lack of profit is mostly because we had to expand again. We’ve added one more building unit, and it’s a bit bigger than the first two. Had to! We’re on three manufacturing shifts, too. That meant I needed another manager just for that, but we actually added four managers — sales, support, engineering, and production. Payroll is outsourced, thankfully! It’s getting scary, honestly. Less than a year in and I have people working for me that I barely know. Managers and their team members are the main interviewers. So far, I can at least talk with everyone before we hire them, but it’s only a matter of time before that goes away.”

“The perils of growth,” I said. “I’m sure Jobs went through the same thing.”

“Man,” he said, “Those guys are nuts! Great technology, but they’re just making mistake after mistake. I’m hearing rumblings that no one can get along with Jobs anymore. If I get that way, just shoot me! It’ll tear the whole place apart if they’re not careful.”

“I hear you,” I said, meaning it. I knew so much about the story of Jobs that I couldn’t share, of course, not to mention Michael’s own story (albeit a different Michael). He was right, though, for today. He just didn’t know the long-term picture, nor could he have. I might not either, of course, but I had probability on my side, at least.