Chapter 5: Elephant in the Room

Sunday, August 5, 1984

We woke up to find that Cammie had again cooked a big breakfast for everyone. I suspected we would trade off cooking throughout the semester, but for now Cammie seemed to have taken on the job of breakfast chef.

She’d dragooned Mel into being her sous chef, it seemed like. Mel was clearly not as perky as Cammie was, though I thought she was playing up her sleepiness just a bit.

Conversation revolved around GSS. Cammie, Mel, Angie, and Paige all wanted to get involved as soon as possible. Angie and Paige knew the two of them had taken an unusually easy path through things thus far, but they also expected things to happen along the way. Meanwhile, Cammie was (completely unsurprisingly) passionate about helping people whose parents had been (and/or still were) hostile, and Mel was passionate about helping Cammie.

For Jas and me, the goal was (of course) different. We wanted to be supportive allies, which necessarily included being humble and keeping watch on ‘White Knight Syndrome’ (or the ‘Great White Savior’ complex, or ... well, pick your phrase of choice). No matter how many gay friends we had, I was straight and Jas was bisexual but primarily in a hetero-normative relationship (to steal a phrase that wouldn’t be common for decades) and therefore often viewed as ‘questionable’ by many gay people. Indeed, I’d heard the argument that ‘bisexuals are just gay people who take the easy path’ as late as 2020.

In our opinion — and in that of Angie, Paige, Cammie, and Mel, of course — we had a lot to offer. That only mattered if we didn’t alienate the people we were trying to support, though. The worst sort of ally is someone you can’t trust and don’t really like. Even if they’re genuinely helpful, they’re a never-ending source of angst.

We wound up spending the late morning and early afternoon back in a couple of stores instead of driving down to Houston as early as planned. We’d called our parents to let them know, so no one was worried.

The point of the outing was to finalize paint colors and wallpaper patterns. From the outside, the house looked a bit different (with the new roof, roof-line, attic windows, and basement windows), but it also still looked a bit dingy and rundown. That was about to change once we had the painters back to paint the rest.

Once we had everything ordered and handed off to Cammie, we picked up the photos, then hit the road to Houston. We and all of our parents were getting together for dinner at Steak and Ale, which apparently Dad, Francis, and Tony had picked (with approval from Mom, Camille, and Jean, of course).

The drive down to Houston was mostly about wrapping up the trip. We’d all had a great time. No one had gotten too crosswise. Sure, there was the underwear-in-the-sink incident, and a few other misplaced pieces of clothing had also turned up, along with a few bits of trash not thrown away and so forth. Occasionally we’d sparred over what to play on the radio (not often, though — but it had happened). It was all little things like that.

Overall, the four of us had been in close quarters for over a month, and that didn’t even count the Florida trip. If we could survive this, surely the house was going to be fine. I’d had every confidence, but there’s something to having things confirmed that’s good for everyone.

Jas and I would actually be sleeping apart for a couple of nights, which seemed more amusing than annoying by this point. So would Paige and Angie. Jas and Paige teased us about sleeping together, since there was a fairly decent chance Angie and I would wind up in bed together.

Just bed, of course. One ‘elephant in the room’ from the trip was certainly Angie and me never taking advantage of the opportunities we’d had. Jas would certainly not have minded. According to Angie, Paige would be cheering us on. Paige and I hadn’t talked about it yet, but we would, most likely.

There were several subjects there that needed to be discussed, really. For instance, the subject of Angie’s potential future kids was likely a series of conversations over a long period of time. We’d already at least discussed the idea of them, but it was a long time from there to reality.

Things were more clear for Cammie and Mel. Should they ask, I would agree, at least as things stood now. Of the things one cannot agree to in advance (and be held to the decision), becoming a biological parent was high on the list, but I knew how I felt now, anyway.

And, yes, that’s true in a marriage, too. If things have gone such that one feels it would be a bad decision to create children, that’s something no promise can override. Those children will live with the consequences of your decision for the rest of their lives, after all.

We didn’t even try to return the RV today. Too much to do, and not enough time.

Instead, our first stop was at Paige’s house. Jean Seiler was there, waiting, and wrapped Paige up in a big hug the instant she could. Angie was next on the list, and then Jasmine, with me bringing up the rear. I expected Jean’s experience would hold true for the other parents: she’d missed Paige quite a bit, but it’d been tempered by getting used to her being gone at Northwestern.

We’d eased into the whole ‘empty nest’ thing, and it looked like that was going to pay off. Not that that had been our intention, of course — just a beneficial side effect.

Tony joined us quickly afterward, and repeated the hugs, with a handshake for me.

Angie, Jas, and I (along with Jean and Tony, to some extent) helped Paige unload the most necessary things. We’d do the full unpacking tomorrow before returning the RV. Once we had Paige settled, we headed off to Jasmine’s.

The greeting at Jasmine’s was slightly more subdued, but only slightly. I got the second hug there (not unexpectedly), and Camille made sure we told her as much as we could about the trip in the time we spent unloading.

Finally, I drove the RV to Mom and Dad’s house. Angie and I agreed — again! — that we found that phrasing awkward but inevitable.

Mom and Dad were both waiting when we got home. Once the hugging was done, we offloaded a bunch of stuff, then decided to change before dinner. I suspected Jas and Paige would be changing, too.

After changing, while waiting for Angie (not that she’s particularly slow, but girls do tend to take longer to change, often for perfectly good reasons), I gave Candice a quick call. Surprising myself, I actually got her. We talked briefly and promised to get together before we settled in at College Station. It likely wouldn’t be this week, but soon.

We would have to show pictures of the finished basement to her and Sherry. There was still a long time before it would matter to them, and we might well find someone else to offer it to, but if it was available, it’d make a nice home for them.

Dinner was exactly the sort of big family get-together that it should be. There was a long way to go, but this group of people might well be getting together for dinners like this for decades.

Paige had a well-curated set of photos to show off. Nothing overwhelming, but it gave them a sense of where we’d been and what we’d seen. All of the parents were jealous, as I’d expected. My hope was that this would be another nudge to Dad (and Mom, too, of course) to actually travel and not just think about traveling endlessly.

Only time would tell, there.

Angie, as expected, wound up in my bed. She came over early, while I was reading, and brought a book of her own.

The reading didn’t last that long, though.

She put her book aside, rolled onto her side, looked at me, and said, “So?”

“So ... what?” I said, marking my page and setting my book aside.

“So! We’re back in bed together!”

I chuckled.

“We spent longer sleeping apart at Northwestern than we did this time.”

“Piffle! We couldn’t sleep together there. We didn’t sleep together on the trip.”

“Well, fine. True enough, I suppose.”

She sighed. “It was good, really. Paige and I ... that ... it was good. Not that either of us is wavering, but ... well. We’re a newer couple than you and Jas, and that matters.”

I nodded. “Yeah, no, I get that.”

“Things will be different in the house. I’ll take over Jas’s side of bed occasionally. Heck...”

She hesitated, then nodded and continued. “We’re nearly back to the point where I think Paige or I — or maybe both of us — could fool around with Jas and it’d be fine. I think...”

She hesitated again.

When she continued, it was with a sigh. “I think, as much as I wanted it, and Paige wanted it, that we dodged a bullet with Jess. It would’ve been great, but we’re not quite ready.”

I nodded. “Interesting take on it. I wouldn’t know, I think.”

“Yeah,” she said, sighing again. “I’m not sure that I know, but I think we’re so very close to being ready. You and Jas have the advantage of not only having been tested, but with Jess the focus of that testing. I mean, Jess loves you, and she doesn’t love Paige or me, but still. She’s Jess. Enough said.”