Chapter 113: The White Sheep Strikes Back

Thursday, July 4, 1985

We followed Mom and Dad out to Uncle Tim and Aunt Helen’s. Unlike some previous years, Dad parked along the road in front of Tim and Helen’s house, not in the driveway. We parked along the road on the other side, and not directly in front of the house. Our car wouldn’t be visible from the backyard, where most of the party would be held, but it also was a reasonable distance away.

From where we sat, we watched Uncle Tim come out to greet Mom and Dad. Uncle Ryan and Aunt Colleen weren’t long behind, and our cousin Keith, his wife Sue, and their nearly three-year-old daughter Kim followed right along. Sue was carrying an infant who was, most likely, their new son, Martin.

Right away, it was clear all of them spotted us. I think they were waiting for us to come over.

Mom pulled Ryan aside, it looked like, and I think whispered to him. Ryan immediately made a face and gesticulated widely.

After a few minutes, Mom and Dad went into the backyard again. Ryan and Colleen crossed the road, followed by Keith and Sue, who were very careful about leading Kim across the country road. There was no traffic at all, but I totally understood their caution.

Ryan boomed out, “Hello, nieces and nephew!”

In an understated way (typical of Ryan), I thought that told us where he stood.

“Hello, Uncle Ryan,” Angie said. “And hello, Aunt Colleen. And Keith, and Sue, and Kim, and ... that must be Martin?”

Sue giggled and nodded.

“He’s adorable!” Paige said.

With that, it turned into a bunch of hugs. Kim was shy but willing to hug all of us.

“What’s this about staying over here?” Ryan said. “My sister told me there was a ... situation. Is this about...?”

His gaze flicked between Angie and Paige.

“We’ve been informed...” Angie began.

From out of sight, across the road, Aunt Helen’s voice hit a volume I’d never heard her hit.

“She is not welcome here!” she said. We couldn’t even see her. It was quite the achievement, I thought.

“Well ... that,” Angie finished, smiling wryly.

Ryan frowned.

“That’s not right,” he said.

“It’s not,” Colleen said.

To my surprise, Paige was the one to speak next, saying, “Look. It’s her house. If someone who I couldn’t approve of came to my house, I would do the same thing. And I actually have people who that would apply to, too! It’s her house. Angie and Steve should see their family — especially since you will be our family soon — but it’s her house and her rules.”

Jas nodded. “The way she’s put it, it applies to me, too, and ... I back her right to set rules for her house. Just ... not for the other side of the road.”

Colleen sighed.

“It’s still not right,” she said. “It’s not hospitable, it’s...”

From across the road came, “It’s wrong! You all know it’s wrong! The Bible is crystal clear on this point! You will not stand here, in my yard, and tell me black is white and day is night!”

Mom came around the corner a minute later, face red, and crossed the street.

Once she got over to us, she made a face at Ryan.

“I might have gotten a bit carried away,” she said, hugging her brother.

Ryan chuckled.

“Oh, my! It’s such a surprise, my little sister getting carried away!”

Angie and I grinned at each other, seeing ourselves in that comment. I’d long since gotten used to having a little sister, after all. Still, it still hit me at times like this: this was a new thing, and I’d lived the vast majority of my life with no idea about what having a sister might be like.

Mom chuckled, then sighed, some tears in her eyes.

“I will not stand there while she bad-mouths my daughter and my future daughter-in-law! I can’t do it!”

“We’ve got tea,” Angie said.

“And snacks,” Jas said.

“And beer,” Paige said, chuckling. “Not much, but still.”

“And cheese!” I said. “How could we not? No brats, though.”

Ryan put a hand over his chest.

“Can’t have a Fourth of July party in Wisconsin without brats!”

“We weren’t going to buy a grill,” I said, chuckling.

“Open the hood, run the engine, and there you go,” he said.

“Ryan!” Colleen said, giggling. “That is not a good idea!”

He scratched his head, then grinned.

“Well, sure,” he said.

Colleen started nodding, and he added, “I mean, it’s a rental. Who knows where it’s been?”

Colleen gave him a good-natured swat.

Mom, Ryan, and Colleen took up a conversation, stepping away a few steps.

Meanwhile, Keith, who’d stayed quiet, said, “I’m sorry, cousins.”

Sue nodded, and said, “We didn’t know this would happen.”

Kim tugged at Sue’s pant leg.

“Why Auntie Helen yell?” she said.

“Family stuff,” Sue said. “You’ll understand when you’re older.”

“Yes, Mama,” Kim said.

She really was adorable.

Angie squatted down and said, “Don’t let it worry you. Your Auntie Helen is upset with me. It’s just a difference of opinion and it’ll be fine.”

Kim looked about as thoughtful as someone her age could.

“Okay!” she said, nodding

“Thanks,” Keith said to Angie as she got back up. “I don’t really even know you that well, but...”

“I could say the same thing,” Angie said, chuckling. “Thank you, too! It’s a bigger thing for you.”

Keith shrugged, and said, “I mean ... family’s family. We’re older, so I don’t know Steve that well, either, and you joined the family even later. Still ... like I said, family is family. Aunt Helen is ... I don’t like her being this way.”

“Don’t let us keep you over here,” Angie said. “You can go back and forth.”

“I’m not sure we want to go back,” Sue said.

Angie sighed.

“We’re trying to take the high road, mostly,” she said. “It’s better if people go back and forth than take sides. People that can, anyway.”

Sue sighed, too, and said, “Well ... okay. We still think it’s bad.”

Paige said, “Don’t fight her. Arguing won’t get anything. Just ignore her. That’s what we’re doing.”

“Easier said than done, sometimes,” Keith said.

He and I shook hands, and we exchanged more hugs before they headed back.

Jas said, “I’m still not sure you’re okay, Paige.”

She was grinning though.

Paige giggled, and said, “You’ve all convinced me that burning down houses is a bad idea. If I’m not going to do it, I can cut back on threatening it. Honestly ... she’s not worth it. She’s a dogmatic regressive pain in the butt, but there are a lot of those. I’m not burning down Joseph’s house, either, and he hit Steve and tied up Cammie. She’s just yelling.”

As if that summoned her, Aunt Helen finally appeared around the corner of the house.

“What are you doing here?” she screamed. “You should be ashamed to show your faces in public! Blasphemers! Violators of God’s law! Spitting in the face of God and nature! Repent and beg forgiveness from God!”

A passing car slowed to look. Then another did the same. We were now officially a sideshow. Fortunately, this was a country road, and the next home was perhaps a quarter of a mile away. In a regular neighborhood, this would’ve been a full-on spectacle.

Paige, of all people, was the first to say, “Just ignore her.”

When Jas gave her an incredulous look, Paige shrugged and said, “It’s what Steve said to do to Joseph. It was good advice. I can learn.”

Angie grinned and hugged her.

“She’ll still plot arson,” Angie said, grinning. “She’s just learning to be subtle.”

“Rawr!” Paige said. “I am a ninja!”

Jas giggled quite a bit at that.

Across the street, Helen yelled a bit more before letting Uncle Tim lead her back into the backyard.

A few minutes later, Dad appeared. He crossed over and hugged Mom.

“I’m sorry, honey,” he said.

Mom gave a brave-looking smile.

“I’m going to go back. She’s getting the full silent treatment, though.”

“If you’re sure?” Dad said, making it a question.

“I’m sure,” she said. “I may be back, but...”

“It’s okay, Mom,” Angie said, hugging her. “We know the situation and we know how much you love us. Don’t worry. You’ve said your piece.”

“I love you,” Mom said. “All of you, I mean!”

They went across.

This time, it was Dean who crossed.

“I told you,” he said, shaking his head. “Madison might have been close enough. This is ... there’s a lot of yelling.”

He was grinning a bit, though.

Angie chuckled, and said, “Party entertainment, eh?”

“Oh, heck, yeah!” he said. “Grant’s missing out. He’s in Alaska. Gotta be warmer than Mom, right now.”

Everyone chuckled at that.

“Daniel’s late. He’s bringing Cindy. They’re engaged now. Mom is not happy. With all of this going on, though, Cindy will just sail through it, comparatively.”

Paige laughed.

“Hey, at least it’s good for my future cousins-in-law,” she said, grinning.

Dean chuckled.

“You haven’t...?”

“There aren’t any rings exchanged yet,” Angie said.

“But we’re committed,” Paige said.

“Us, too,” Jas said.

“Best wishes, then!” he said, smiling. “I met all kinds at Madison. Mom has decided it was a huge mistake to let us go there. We’re all ‘corrupted’ now. Madison’s all kinds of liberal, really, and Mom didn’t realize that.”

Helen yelled some more from the backyard, but it was pretty indistinct. I was pretty sure ‘perversion’ was one of the words.

“I’ll go back,” he said. “Tell Daniel what’s up when he gets here. Cindy will get a big laugh out of it.”

“We will!” Angie said.

We hung out, sipping soda and munching chips and cheese, for about fifteen minutes. A car drove up, parked, and Daniel got out, along with a cute brunette who must have been Cindy.

“What are you...?” he said, then rolled his eyes. “Mom?”

Angie nodded and waved him over.

He and Cindy crossed the road.

“I’m only surprised it took this long,” he said, while everyone was hugging. “Everyone, this is Cindy, my fiancée.”

“A pleasure,” she said, giggling a bit. She had a particularly pronounced Wisconsin accent, which — in this case — was pretty cute.

“Dean says you’re lucky,” Paige said. “We’re a big distraction.”

Cindy cracked up.

“Oh, that’s great!” she said. “Look, it’s a cliché, but seriously, my best friend — my maid of honor! — is gay. When Dean told me about your prom, I was like, really? Then he showed me the newspaper. You two were all kinds of brave!”

Angie and Paige blushed a bit.

“We just wanted to go to our prom,” Angie said. “Everyone else got to do that. Why not us?”

“Well, sure,” Cindy said. “But you made it happen!”

Behind them, I spotted a police car approaching. I wasn’t completely surprised when it slowed, then stopped. Why not a police car, with everything else going on?

Angie said, “What’s...”

She turned, and finished, “ ... up?”

Paige looked around.

“I didn’t burn anything down! I swear!”