Chapter 49

“So what goes on here?” Theresa’s voice asked.

Cindy lifted her head and put her finger to her lips. John stirred anyway.

“Mmmm ... Hi pumpkin. Can I have a hug?” he said.

“You most certainly can.” Theresa said, diving onto the bed.

She hugged him fiercely. He hugged back with as much strength as he had.

“Let me brush my teeth, and I’ll greet you properly.” he said.

“Oh pooh!” Theresa said, kissing him deeply.

John was reserved in his kiss.

“Well, you’d better go brush your teeth if that’s the best you can do before then. But honest. Your breath is not bad.” Theresa said.

“Can’t be too good.” John said, crawling off the bed.

Cindy watched him go.

“I wished you hadn’t wakened him. I wanted to let him sleep.” she said.

“Whatever for?” Theresa asked.

“You have no idea what he’s been through. You remember our first week without him. How much we slept?” Cindy asked.

“Of course ... how could I forget that?” Theresa chuckled.

“Well, John just went through the equivalent of over half that week, only he did it in thirty-six hours.” Cindy said.

“He couldn’t possibly have gone through that in thirty- six hours. Isn’t physically possible ... for a man.” Theresa replied.

“Thirty times!” Cindy informed her.

“Thirty!” Theresa gasped.

“Thirty.” Cindy replied.

“God ... no wonder he was such a zombie.” Theresa mused.

“Anyway ... I thought if he could sleep all day he might possibly have half a chance to properly welcome Sheila tonight.” Cindy said.

“I will do my best for god and country.” John proclaimed, returning.

“I was referring to doing your best for Sheila.” Cindy chuckled.

“I thought she was leaving yesterday.” John said.

“She stayed to see you. But all she got was a vacant stare.” Theresa chided.

“Leave the poor boy be.” Cindy scolded.

“Well, he’d better think of some way to speed up the recovery, cause Sheila’s putting on her war paint and battle gear now.” Theresa said.

“I shall just have to tell her the truth ... that I was abducted by pirates who made me rape camels and service every harem on the Slave coast. I barely escaped by the skin of my teeth by using my profound wit. I had one log for a raft and no oar. I had to use my manhood to paddle back.” John said.

Cindy busted out laughing.

“I may have believed you ... right up to the profound wit part. You’d better leave that part out if you’re going to tell it to Sheila. Try substituting `fluke of luck’ instead.” Theresa chuckled.

“Woman may have a point ... Safer to lie.” John mused.

“Well, at least that woman left your horrid sense of humor.” Cindy chuckled.

“Horrid? How dast you cast dispersions upon my character like that.” John replied, indignantly.

“How dast I cast?” Cindy asked.

“Past tense of dare-est ... I’ll have you know, that what I find humorous is funny and what all others find funny is either sick or boring.” John asserted.

“Whatever you say dear.” Cindy said.

She was going to kiss him but Theresa jumped in: “Oh no, me next.”

She pulled her to him and tested his mouthwash. It must have been okay as she tested it for a long, long time. Her hand toyed with his manhood while she did it. It lay there.

She pulled back and looked at it.

“I think she broke it.” she said.

“Precisely why I was going to let him sleep.” Cindy said, butting in to re-claim her aborted advance.

She kissed John tenderly.

“I think it moved.” Theresa said.

“What’s for breakfast?” Cindy asked.

“That’s what I came to find out, it’s your turn.” Theresa chuckled.

“Oh ... John?” Cindy asked.

“What?” he said.

“What would you like for breakfast.” Cindy asked, exasperated.

“Oh ... Nine Tawny leaves should do it.” he mused.

“Huh? What the hell are Tawny leaves.” Theresa asked.

“Just showing my age ... In an ancient movie called The Mummies Curse, they used nine Tawny leaves broken into boiling water to revive the mummy.” John said.

“Will coffee and French toast do?” Cindy asked.

“Sounds like a good start ... Bacon and eggs too.” he replied.

“That many eggs is bad for your heart. Not to mention what the bacon does.” Cindy stated.

“That’s why I don’t usually eat that many ... but this morning, that’s what I want. Breakfast strips will be fine for the bacon ... about six.” he replied.

Cindy gave him one of her special exasperated looks. But headed off.

“How dast I cast... .” she mumbled. “Theresa, you may tease him ... but don’t do any further damage.” she called back.

“Uppity cooks.” muttered John.

“Where else will you find cooks that make you hungry just from what they wear.” Theresa asked.

“Or don’t wear, rather.” John chuckled.

“I always wear at least a T-shirt ... whenever I’m cooking bacon.” Theresa said.

John crawled back onto the bed, leaning against the headboard.

Theresa crawled up next to him and kissed him softly, then rested her head against his shoulder.

“You may begin the teasing ... but I warn you. A harem full of nude virgins would be unlikely to stir me.” he said.

“Did you really make love thirty times in thirty-six hours?” Theresa asked.

“No ... it was thirty-four and a half. I had a flight to catch.” John said.

“Must have been a hell of a woman.” Theresa said, moodily.

“She is ... but don’t be jealous. She wouldn’t understand this.” he said, drawing the back of his fingernail gently down her arm from her shoulder.

She giggled and shivered.

“Then why did you do it?” she asked.

“I’m not quite sure ... For one thing, it was her first time ... I wanted it to be memorable ... for another ... I couldn’t bring her back with me. I knew I wouldn’t see her for a long time. Beyond that, I can’t say.” he said.

“She damn sure ought to remember thirty orgasms.” Theresa mused.

“Oh, no. That was me. We figured her at somewhere above a hundred and fifty.” John said.

“A hundred and fifty!!! God, and I thought you were a zombie. I’ll bet she’s still asleep!” Theresa giggled.

“Better not be, today’s her first day of work.” John said.

“You did that to her knowing she had to start a new job today?” Theresa asked.

“That was one of her criteria; that it be difficult for her to walk into work. I think I can safely say she got her wish.” John said.

“I’ll say ... but how come you never did that to me?” Theresa asked.

John sighed.

“A victim of my own reputation ... As I told Cindy, about four this morning, because I never needed to ... to show you I cared. We’ve always had quality sex. As such we never needed quantity sex.” John said, hoping she’d buy it.

“So you didn’t have quality sex with her.” Theresa asked.

“Maybe two out of the bunch.” John replied.

Theresa was thoughtful.

“Okay.” she said.

“Okay what?” John asked.

“Okay, you don’t need to do that to me ... so long as we can continue to have quality sex.” she chuckled.

“Knock Knock.” said Sheila at the door.

John looked up and gasped.

“I warned you that she was putting on full battle gear.” Theresa chuckled.

“Hello.” John said simply and held out his free arm to her.

Sheila, unsure for a second started for him.

“Don’t take it personal. He’s been setting Olympic records.” Theresa said.

She kissed him on the cheek and climbed out of the bed.

Sheila was in his arms. She hugged him like a long lost lover.

He held her close to him. Wondering how to tell her.

“I’ll just go help Cindy find the Tawny leaves.” Theresa said.

“Oh ... like from The Mummies Curse?” Sheila asked.

“Why do I suddenly feel like a kid?” Theresa asked, walking away.

“Huh?” Sheila asked.

“Nothing ... Neither of them ever heard of The Mummies Curse ... So how have you been? What do you think of my little lovelies?” John asked.

“I’m amazed you’re still alive.” Sheila said, rolling her eyes.

John chuckled.

Sheila seemed disappointed by something.

“Oh.” John thought. He pulled her into a great kiss and cleaned her tonsils. Then he softened it and ended barely touching her lips with his.

“That’s better.” Sheila said, huskily, “I thought maybe you’d forgotten all about me.”

“Not a chance ... I’ve just been ... a little bit indisposed.” John said.

“That I believe. I saw you yesterday.” Sheila chuckled.

“You saw me yesterday?” John asked.

“I met you at the helicopter. Undid your seat belt and got you out. Walked you down to the bedroom and undressed you.” Sheila said.

“I have no memory since ... The airport in New York. Not much about that. Don’t remember much since ... Sunday night some time.” John said.

“So what happened to you?” Sheila asked.

“Well ... Theresa thought I should lie and say that I was abducted by pirates who made me rape camels and service every harem along the slave coast. That I barely escaped by a fluke of luck and had to paddle home on a log using my manhood for a paddle ... But I assert that it wasn’t a fluke of luck, I maintain that I escaped by my outstanding wit.” John said.

“So you’re not going to tell me.” Sheila said.

“Sure ... I made love thirty times in thirty-six hours.” John said.

“So you’re not going to tell me.” Sheila repeated.

“That, my dear is the truth. Actually it was thirty-four and a half hours. I had a plane to catch.” John said.

“Look, you don’t have to tell me.” Sheila said.

“But I am telling you the truth.” John said.

“You expect me to believe you made love thirty times in thirty-six hours?” she asked.

“Thirty-four and a half ... Didn’t I look the part when you saw me?” John asked.

Sheila looked at him a moment.

“Yes ... you did.” she said, moodily.

John looked at her a moment.

“Let me guess. You’re just a wee bit ticked off that I set records making love to a woman, one I met after you, when I wouldn’t have intercourse with you when we slept together.” John said.

“The thought did cross my mind.” Sheila said, icily.

“I didn’t have permission to make love with you. I did have permission to make love with her.” John said.

“That’s your defense?” she asked.

“No ... I need no defense. I have done nothing wrong. I will not feel guilty for any of my actions concerning either her, or you.