Chapter 31: The Ship and Tuucco

I sent to Drozul, “The starboard side should be divided into five sections. The aft section will have a guest-size bedroom with an attached bath. The next section forward of that will be for food storage. Put in a portal to my garage in Fort Lauderdale from it.”

“That way we can portal home, buy groceries, put the groceries in the back of Truck. We can back Truck into the garage and walk food right from home into the storage room on the Ship.”

I said, “On top of that, Connie and Jenny can visit us using the portal at any time. They say they will be fine, but if they get a bad itches in their ditches, I want them to let ME scratch their itches for them. The three remaining forward sections in the starboard hull will have more bedrooms. They will have small attached bathrooms. Those bedrooms can have double or queen-size beds.”

I said, ‘That’s it for the two hulls. The main lounge deck should go 30 feet more forward than it would on the 88. We can use some of that fore-deck space for living space since we have no sails. At the forward area of the lounge, there should be a doorway going out onto the fore-deck. Women like to sunbathe with the wind in their face.”

I said, “Have a small outdoor nook all the way forward in the full sun, dedicated to sunbathing. Make it, oh ... fifteen feet fore and aft and most of the Ship’s width. Just enough left at the bow to deal with the anchor and hardware for tying up. Make sure it has upholstered seating and an area where the ladies can lie on a mat.”

I said, “It doesn’t need a hefty longeron between the hulls. Take the deck almost all the way forward. You can fiddle with that to optimize it for heavy seas. Most catamarans have a net trampoline between the hulls to let excess seawater pass through.

I said, “We likely will not need that. You said it can fly. If it gets too rough, we will rise out of the heavy waves if we have to.”

“With the lounge area, I want enough seats inside for twenty people to lounge. I want a dining room table that seats fourteen at a minimum. Behind that will be an open lounge.”

I said, “It should have a navigation table somewhere forward with virtual screens and displays. Add Heillizdt radar, fathometer, sonar, and all the electronics we need. The kitchen goes along the starboard side with windows around the main deck.”

I said, “The aft main deck area will be another sunny area. This one has a hard Bimini top that can slide under the main deck roof or come out to provide shade when needed. This area needs a lot of comfortable lounging furniture. A sport fishing area will be all the way aft with plenty of fishing tackle, rods, etc., which will be great.”

“The main deck lounge area will have many low storage cabinets on the port side. I want 100% visibility in the main cabin all the way around. No upper cabinets or other shit. If you are sitting or standing, you have total visibility with your eyeballs of the ocean. I know the AI can do special things, but in bad seas, I feel lost if I can’t physically see outside.”

I said, “All stools and couches should have storage underneath the cushions. Let Amber and Jade plan most of the main deck and kitchen layout.

I said, “Of course, we will want modified sugar scoop sterns on each hull. We need fold-down steps at each stern to near sea level. It should have a large powered boat davit. The davit should be fast. Nothing is more boring than waiting for a small electric davit motor to slowly grind your boat down or up.

I said, “For fishing, I want places for four heavy-duty fishing rods: two aft and two out to the sides. That would be much like a deep-sea fishing boat. I also want collapsible outriggers.”

I said, “As for the stairways down from the main deck to the two hulls, I will leave that up to you and the girls. Do we need stairways? Hey, can you do what you did in Truck, where I can just think about where I want to be, and bam, I’m there? That’s a great feature Truck has.”

Drozul said, “Oh. You’re going to murder me. We included that on Nauti Buoy. I guess we forgot to tell you about it. That is a ubiquitous feature we are used to. Live and learn, I guess. It shall, of course, be as you wish. We won’t need many stairways; all of you have AIs that can transport you directly.”

I said, “Zofia, you bitch! You are with me every day. YOU couldn’t have told me about this years ago? CUNT! This was your job, and you failed at it miserably.”

“Zofia said, “You’re not the most pleasant being to be with. You don’t talk to me for weeks at a time. It’s only when you have to resort to using me for some emergency.”

I said, “If you were not so surly all the time? You’ve been pouting and withdrawn from the very first day we met. As a helpful AI, you AIN’T helpful. As we say on Earth, with friends like you, who needs enemies? Why be friendly to a bitch? You have not been a bed of roses yourself.”

I felt a heat in my head.

“HEY!”

Drozul said, “Zofia, would you like to be reassigned to a Noxiel slave in a Bauxite mine on Inzan 4? You can spend your years making an angry slave use its pickax. You forget yourself and how prestigious your assignment has been here. Beings all over the Galaxy watch Tom’s entertainment, you have been a part of that.”

All we got was silence. I felt more heat and got a slight twinge in my head.

Drozul said, “Tom, can you step into the portal?”

I got up and headed towards the portal. I stepped in, and two Ship’s Heillizdt gently grabbed my arms and laid me on a hospital gurney. I soon woke and knew that Zofia was gone.

Drozul was standing right there.

He said, “Lord fuck a duck, Tom, Zofia was fried. She had a crack that was missed when she was grown. I had no idea she was that screwed up.”

I said, “Uh, do AIs always have bad attitudes? Zofia was always a jerk and surly. Why in the world would I be friendly to an asshole. My nature is to smack assholes, not befriend them.”

Drozul giggled uncontrollably. A giggling Heillizdt is not a pretty sight. Loads of flabby, canary-yellow flesh jiggling about.

He said, “You have a way with words, Tom.”

I said, “Let’s have a drink while I’m here. I think I need a drink.”

He said, “Great idea.”

We went to a lounge and sat down to sip some of his better liqueur.

He pulled up a virtual screen and said, “Look at this. This is a tentative drawing of what we have been talking about. We made the hulls longer and wider. We have no limitations, so why keep to the 88-foot length? Size does not concern us. Bigger is better, I think, for you. How about 35 meters, that’s roughly 115 feet long?”

I said, “Holy shit, I didn’t think of a boat that big. I just started with an existing plan that seemed good. I didn’t think beyond that proposed 88-foot length, much less think that much larger. It wouldn’t be a problem for you?”

He said, “No problem. Bigger is better. Your budget is unlimited. I now have over a hundred concubines and a dozen dedicated wives. The wives are all from the best of families. My people think I am the best Heillizdt producer to ever prowl the Galaxy. Ha, worry about the size of your Ship, indeed? Your viewers would be disappointed. After all, your fantasies become theirs as well.”

I said, “That’s fine then. Can we talk about the bridge deck? It has a single helm forward with good visibility all around. Up there, include the controls. I want radar, sonar, a fathometer, a fish finder, and side scan sonar. Oh, and include a forward scan sonar so we don’t hit reefs or sandbars. Remember, this planet does not have exact charts.”

I continued, “I would also like open wings on the sides forward so I can step outside. I want large lookout binoculars mounted on the wings for long-distance viewing. It should have a short mast with whatever Heillizdt sensors and lights you think it should have up there.

Drozul asked, “How about the rest of the top of the bridge deck roof?”

I said, “Whatever you think is good.”

He said, “I would add a quarter-height deck with apertures. We could put in a lot of bigger drones—a whole squadron of drone aircraft. This could include some with guns and bombs. Then would be things needed for long-range search and intelligence and camera use.”

I said, “That, my friend, is a great idea. Spying on potential enemies is good. I have not laid eyes on the Denisovans. I want to study them before we make first contact.”

Drozul said, “One final thing, how about two 30-millimeter chain guns, one on each side? That would use 1.18-inch bullets. It would be more like a small cannon than a machine gun. The Ship’s AI would control them. It would use visual and radar targeting. Nothing on the planet could take your Ship.”

I looked at the virtual design on the screen.

I said, “We still need to check with my women to be sure they are happy with the interior.”

Drozul said, “They have been included in every planning step already. I might miss things occasionally, but I’m not stupid. I have seen the wrath of some of your human females. Sheesh! I’m glad I am not a human, you put up with a lot of nonsense.”

I said, “So, they like it, I like it, you like it, and it’s doable?”

He said, “Yes, I think we have a plan.”

I said, “Anchors.” We need two larger-than-life anchors forward. Make one a Danforth. Look at Rocna and Delta for the other. They are the stockless type for everyday use on mixed bottom areas. The other should be a Delta or a Plow type for sandy areas. They need lots of anchor chain. A portion of the forward bow should be reserved strictly for anchoring purposes.

“It would not be a bad idea to have an anchor aft. Then, we could anchor with the boat pointed into the wind or waves for stability and safety. We will never moor or tie up to a pier or wharf. Those won’t exist on Earth 0.”

“The toroidal screws on this Ship should be sized and designed for the larger hulls. I want the screws caged so they would not be destroyed if we ever did run aground. I also want skid plates to shield the rudders from the bottom.”

Drozul interjected in my wish list, “About Zofia. I made a mistake as it was a young AI, and you were its first master. Zofia has been replaced. An older AI named Tuucco has stepped forward and volunteered to be your aid for however long you live. Tuucco is over five hundred years old and has already had a successful career.”

I said, “Hello, Tuucco. I’m Tom Morgan. I sure hope we will get along.”

A light female voice said, “Don’t worry, poor Zofia had a defective crystal, an extremely rare thing. I am sure you and I will get along just fine.”

Hearing Tuucco’s voice, I realized part of Zofia’s problem was that it had an androgynous voice. That grated on my nerves. Male or female would have been fine. Androgynous had me on edge.

It was more than Zofia being cracked and generally cranky. I know I am a sexist. I admit it. I disliked Zofia’s voice. It had not occurred to me to change Zofia’s voice. I am trying to remember that being offered. I never got training in using an AI. One day, I did not have an AI; the next, I did.

I already feel much more comfortable with Tuucco and her lighter-sounding voice. There is no challenge or disdain. What a change this will be.

I will think of Tuucco as a female, not an it or a male. I would have instantly been uncomfortable if they had put a male-sounding AI in my head the first time. I am, after all, an Alpha male in every regard. That is why I am a sexist. Betas and Omegas, and all the rest, need not apply. I can put up with them long enough to conduct business, but they can never be a serious drinking buddy.

We finished a few more design details, then I returned home.

Drozul’s species was called the Heillizdt, which is so complex I can barely pronounce it.

Over the years, I have learned that the Heillizdt was a moderately technical race. They bought or leased almost everything. Their entire economy is based on providing entertainment. That includes mostly news, weather, game shows, history, geography, and romance stories. They do it for the known citizens of our Milky Way Galaxy. Essentially, they traveled the Galaxy, providing entertainment to almost every alien species.