Chapter 24: Buy a Car AND a Dealership

Drozul said, “Jade will do things for you because she has to.”

I said, “This seems more complex than I thought. Here, have a concubine. She will do whatever you want. I didn’t know I needed a technical manual on how to operate a concubine.’

Drozul laughed, “Yes, but maybe it’s more like a basic operator’s manual. Be kind to Jade; she will always be loyal and kind to you. If you are unkind, she will cry and suffer in anguish until she can return to your good graces.”

We broke off our mental conversation as the women began rattling dishes. I got some iced tea and moved to the inside table to eat.

We sailed along for the next day when Naughty notified me we were in for it. We had a line of squalls coming our way. I went out the forward windward door and furled the Genny. I set the smaller stay-sail forward and adjusted the tracks. Naughty now had more capability with the sails, as they would both auto-tack for him. The main had always done that, but you can’t do that with the Genny as she’s too big and gets fouled easily on the rigging.

It soon got bad enough that I had to secure the mainsail. I wish I had changed the stay-sail over to the storm sail. We sailed for a while on one sail alone.

We would be too far out to make it back in, anyway. We set a course direct for South Florida when we’d left North Carolina, so we were well out to sea. Not following the coast cuts hundreds of miles off the trip. We were currently over a hundred miles out from the US coast.

For two days, we put up with the heavy seas. The squalls were gone in a day, but it took the ocean a while to calm down. I was sure glad we didn’t get seasick; Exo’s help there a lot. All the motion does wear you out.

I reset the mainsail with a reef. When the winds had calmed down enough, I changed from the storm sail back to the Genny. Then the wind fell more, so I used the billowy Reacher sail for the last two days before getting to Fort Lauderdale.

Before we got near the entrance, I started the electric motors and furled the Reacher. I moved the boat to the original yacht club that Drozul had arranged for us. I had to see where we were going. We had not seen the house; this may be a done deal for Drozul & company. I reserve the right to not move in if the house sucks.

I would not just show up at a strange house and tie up. We had yet to buy it. I needed to contact the realtor about that.

We tied up at the yacht club. Naughty did an excellent job of coming in slowly. I had an Uber waiting for us. We each had a small bag of clothes to last us a day or so.

I told the Uber driver, “Please take me to the nearest Ford dealer.”

He said, “Are you sure that’s the dealer you want. None of us locals buy from them. They will not cover any warranty work. If you take something in for service, it will sit for weeks or months before they get around to it.”

I said, “OK, take me to a good dealer. Here’s a little something for the good advice.” I handed him a $20.

We got to a dealer near I-95, and I paid him a 20% tip on the debit card on top of the $20 in cash.

We walked in carrying bags, so the salesmen did not know what to do with us.

One woman stepped up when the men all hesitated. She said, “I can help you, sir, I’m Vivian.”

“You certainly can, and you look like a Vivian, I said as I took her hand, and she muddled appropriately for me.

I gave her lips a quick peck. I had just licked mine. Either way, she has Exos.”

Vivian shook her head and said, “What brings you here today? Do you know what you are looking for?”

I said, “We are just moving into a home here and need a mid-size SUV. I would preferably like it in white, Florida being so hot and the summers being long.”

She said, “The Escapes are probably too small. You probably don’t want a more sporty model. I have one Edge ST model that has the Star White exterior. It has a bigger engine and transmission, so it’s a bit more money. The base model starts at 42 thousand plus. This one is 14 thousand dollars higher than the base.”

I said, “What engine is in it? I don’t want a pint-size engine?”

She said it is a 2.7-liter V-6 with a nine-speed automatic. It has a tan leather interior.”

I said, “Good, no tiny four-banger. Can we look at it?”

Vivian said, “Let me get the keys.”

Drozul said, “Vivian Boyle is a single mother. She is not ovulating. She is a good candidate for a fuck only. It is too soon for you to start raising rug rats for the entertainment channel.”

I said, “Uh, I am not planning on raising any rug rats myself. Maybe in a decade or two. Right now, that would seem to screw up our arrangement. You know, I fuck women and spread Exos; besides, I have at least five years left on my contract.”

Vivian came back with the keys and held the driver’s door for me. Then the girls got in the back. Vivian got in on the passenger side.

I started the car and slowly drove out. It was peppy. I prefer peppy in traffic. Drozul listed the specifications; it has 335 horsepower with 380 foot-pounds of torque. It is 3500 pounds empty, and the car seems excellent for a part-time vehicle here. I know the traffic is rough here.

I drove back into the dealership. The windows are tinted quite well on the sides and back. I parked it pointed towards the street. I leaned over and kissed Vivian. She wrapped her arms around me and whimpered. We kissed for a couple of minutes before I broke us apart.

I sensed inside her. She has been celibate since her cousin raped her. That’s a long time.

Drozul intruded, “She’s 27 and has a 9-year-old son. She lives with her mother, who helps her with him. She keeps it secret, but she’s the best salesman at Elliot Ford because she’s willing to hustle. She has a deal with the new car manager to keep her actual sales results quiet.”

“Almost all of the other salespeople are men. This place is rife with sexism and an old buddy network. She was a DEI hire, and they can’t get rid of her because of her sales success.”

I took one of my cards from my wallet and wrote our hotel and room number on it.

I gave it to her and said, “You should come over and have a drink with us later. Could you help us celebrate buying our new car? I think you are my new favorite saleslady.”

She beamed and took the card. Not having her purse or a pocket, it went right into her bra.

We got out, and she took us into her tiny office. She had to borrow a chair as she only had hers and two others. Once we got squeezed in and introduced better, I could see Vivian had us figured out.

We got down to it.

I said, “The deal is as good as done, provided I do not have to see a sales manager or a credit manager. I want to pay cash and drive it out the door. I have my own insurance and a Florida driver’s license.”

I gave them to her. I also gave her a debit card that has a maximum of 75,000. It has more than that in the account, but it’s good for 75,000 at each sale.

She looked a little unhappy and left the room. She was gone a while and came back with the credit manager in tow.

I looked at him and said, “What are you doing here. I don’t NEED or want a credit manager. I am paying the full price you guys require in cash to let me drive out of here with my car. I am not quibbling over the price. I am wealthy, and I don’t use credit. I want a car and to leave as soon as possible. Time is money, and I will not spend the day here dealing with you. Do - you - understand me?”

“But sir...”

I said, “DO YOU UNDERSTAND ENGLISH. *I* DO NOT NEED OR WANT YOU!!!”

“I want nothing extra, I simply want that fucking car. If you need more money, add another dealer fee to it or something. I want to leave here in the next hour. Look at your watch. In one hour I leave. Either in my new car, or I will call another Uber and go to another dealership.”

“Look up and down this street. I am sure any of the nearby dealers I see will happily sell me an SUV.”

He stuttered and tried to talk a couple of times. I stayed silent as he attempted to mumble at me. I turned away and looked at my phone. I gave him an ugly look, and I pointed out the door.

So the so-called sales manager came in a minute later.

I said, “What the fuck are YOU doing here? Are you all so fucking stupid here? I am ready to buy a car. I told Mr. Creditman what I was willing to do. You are really pissing me off. Don’t you want to sell cars here?”

I stood up, “Come on, ladies, we are done here. I will never buy another FUCKING Ford.”