Alternate Reality: In a world where W. lost the primaries because he wasn't far enough to the right, a new United States emerges under a more directed leadership. However, this is still an America where even a beaten down guy from Secaucus has a chance to regain his dreams.
Size: 241 KB (44,500 words)
Genre: Science Fiction
Sex Contents: Minimal Sex
Tags: Ma/Fa, Science Fiction
Review by manddscott [other reviews by manddscott]
Reviewed: - (Review Updated: )
Imagine an alternate reality in which the president elected in the United States forms, effectively, a democratic Theocracy, and forces a police state similar to Nazi Germany. That is the basic premise of this story.
For plot, I give the story a B (7). It is above average, but needs a bit more character development. The characters are not bad, but they are introduced already fully developed, with little to no growth in the story. Granted, it is a short story, so there is not much room available for said growth.
For technical score, I give it an A+ (9). I spotted very few errors throughout the entire story.
For appeal, I also give it a B (7). The premise of the story is a good one. Personally, I would like to see more detail. Just because a fascist president is elected does not mean that Congress would allow the behaviors described, particularly so quickly. I would like to see the story behind it. What happened to allow such a president to be elected? How did he manage to force Congress to pass some of the draconian laws described? Things like that would make the story more believable.
Review by Finbar_Saunders [other reviews by Finbar_Saunders]
Reviewed: - (Review Updated: )
I am going to just keep this short (especially since the synopsis covers the storyline and as usual I am discussing an unfinished work.)
This is a perversely-enjoyable story so far. There's a tension about the writing that is almost dripping off the screen and the wonderfully bleak political landscape that is described is heartbreaking. There's enough that is familiar in the dystopia in this story compared to real life in the US. that it's sure to raise some hackles.
I have noticed no technical flaws, and the plot so far is obviously well-crafted. I am going to wait with bated breath for the next chapter, and the next, and the next.
edit:
Oh my word! the story keeps getting better! The voice of the narration is compelling and the pace is tremendous. This one should be up for an award.
