A young girl finds fun and companionship in the arms of two boys.
Size: 14 KB (2,940 words)
Genre: Erotica
Sex Contents: Much Sex
Tags: mt/ft, Teenagers, First
Review by Pleasure Boy 1 [other reviews by Pleasure Boy 1]
Reviewed:
I liked this story quite a bit. I'm a sucker for stories where the reluctant characters slowly advance into deeper levels of sexuality, step by step. This story has it.
The author was able to arouse my interest without a lot of description or characterization as well, though those might have increased the tension a little. It was fine without it anyway.
There were no typos. Kudos for that.
The only thing that could have made this story better is in trimming off some details at the beginning and adding more to the end. It just sort of ends, with no conclusion, while the begining gives perhaps a little too many unrelated details. Start with Teal going to the boy's house, and leave the rest to the reader's imagination.
Also, there are a few instances of the author using the passive voice. "The feel of his kiss was something I enjoyed." (not the exact wording, but a lot of sentences like that.) Stick with the simpler "I enjoyed the feel of his kiss." It says the same thing without the cart-before-the-horse feel to it.
Other than these two minor complaints, it was a great story, with a character I'd like to meet someday myself.
