Reviewed:
Reviewed up to (and including) Chapter 5.
So far, the story is coming along quite well. A bit slow, but this is due to the nature of the story. Most definately not a stroke story, it is heavy on character development. The characters are quite well written, although we only seem to be finding out about the main character so far, with very little information given out about the other characters. In this setting, it makes sense as the point-of-view is first person.
The setting is also very well written, working at a private school for the summer to get some money for tuition at the school.
Up to the end of the 5th chapter, there are only a couple of things that jar me out of the story.
The first is the dialogue. There are parts where the dialogue gets very grammatically correct and formal (as opposed to grammatically relaxed and informal) despite an informal setting. This is something of a tweak of mine in that poorly composed (as opposed to poorly written) dialogue knocks me out of my immersion in the story very rapidly.
The second thing that knocks me out of my immersion (although to a much lesser extent than the dialogue) is that here are a couple of points where the main character acts out of character, sexually, for what has been established so far for his nature. However, that may just be a personal nit on my part.
Overall, the story is well written so far and I look forward to reading more of the story.