Josh Alexander goes home from college to do some laundry and discovers Lauren Michaels, the teenaged babysitter for his younger sisters, is all grown up.
Size: 203 KB (38,703 words)
Genre: Romantic
Sex Contents: Much Sex
Tags: Ma/ft, Teenagers, Consensual, Romantic, Heterosexual, Fiction, Safe Sex, Oral Sex, Slow
Review by Turo69 [other reviews by Turo69]
Reviewed:
A very nice, hot, love story, sort of coming of age for a girl in her teens and the older boy across the street. There were several twists and turns which prevented this from becoming predictable and kept it fresh. Cotton Nightie has proven that she has the ability to put her heart into her story and I now want to read more from her mind.
Review by Bud Ugly [other reviews by Bud Ugly]
Reviewed:
I'm pretty much a sucker for romantic stories, and this is a good one. Josh, a "player", suddenly realizes his attraction to the neighbor girl who babysits his younger sisters. She's had a crush on him forever, and, well, the story continues from there.
The storyline is pretty solid, with no major holes. The primary characters are well-drawn and engaging; secondary characters are about as deep as you'd expect for a story of this length (it's not a novel, after all). I found it easy to immerse myself in the story. I like the way the author has each chapter shift to the other main character's perspective.
Technically there are some rough spots: at one point the male protagonist is called by the wrong name; there are some punctuation issues; and there are some run-on sentences. None of them are fatal flaws, but they do detract somewhat from the readability of what's otherwise a very good story.
All in all, I liked the story very much, enough so that I've added others from this author to my queue. If you haven't read it, and like romances, I recommend it.
Review by manddscott [other reviews by manddscott]
Reviewed: - (Review Updated: )
A college student goes home to do laundry and finds the neighbor girl irresistible. This is simply a stroke story, and not much more. NOTE - at the time the review was done, only 2 chapters had been posted, with no indication the story would continue.
Two chapters to this short story don't give it much time to develop a plot. The timeline in the story does not seem to add up. In one part of the story, it infers that the girl had not started high school until the college student had graduated, but then it says she is going to prom, even though he is finishing his college freshman year. Unless proms differ in other areas, most of the ones I have heard of are restricted to seniors, unless it is a Junior Prom. Another alternative would be that he took a few years off from school, but none of that is explained. Because of the gaps in the story, it gets an average C (6).
Technical quality is actually very good on this one. The story was nearly error-free, and gets an A+ (9) as a result.
For appeal, it is better than average, but has too little length to properly fully develop a storyline, and too many gaps in the story that still need explanation. Why does Josh not have a full-time girlfriend? Who burned him so badly that he is scared of a more complete relationship? Without understanding the background, it gets a B (7).
