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Top Ten Postions

awnlee jawking 🚫

1. Missionary
2. Doggy
3. Eagle
4. Cowgirl
5. Downward Doggy
6. The Toad
7. Spooning
8. Reverse Cowgirl
9. Standing Up
10. The Peg

The newspaper cites ChannelMum.com as the source.

AJ

Vincent Berg 🚫

If you include #1, then surely you must include #43. The agnostic and #107. Atheist as well. 'D

Replies:   Capt. Zapp
Capt. Zapp 🚫

@Vincent Berg

If you include #1, then surely you must include #43. The agnostic and #107. Atheist as well. 'D

Not on a 'Top Ten' list. And to include #43 the list would have to be the 'Top Fifty' or more.

pcbondsman 🚫

One point missing in this. The article at Channel Mom was about the top ten positions for getting pregnant. A rather important distinction.

Dominions Son 🚫

@pcbondsman

The article at Channel Mom was about the top ten positions for getting pregnant.

In that case, I'm surprised that cowgirl and reverse cowgirl make the list. In those positions, his swimmers have to fight gravity on top of all the usual obstacles.

awnlee jawking 🚫

@pcbondsman

Thanks for the clarification. I haven't seen the original article, just a newspaper paragraph intended to titillate.

But surely 9 can't be right - every teenager knows you can't get pregnant if you do it standing up ;)

AJ

Replies:   pcbondsman
pcbondsman 🚫

@awnlee jawking

But surely 9 can't be right - every teenager knows you can't get pregnant if you do it standing up ;)

Indeed, and other urban myths. Many of them invented by horny teen boys. :)

Slightly OT (Horrors!) but, at some point in the 60's or early seventies, in certain parts of the country it was "cool" to have a box of Saran Wrap in the back window of your car. It was a lot cheaper than condoms, and I presume considered to be equally effective.

Finally - Hey guys and gals, I didn't write the article just reported a detail from it. :)

Replies:   Vincent Berg
Vincent Berg 🚫

@pcbondsman

Indeed, and other urban myths. Many of them invented by horny teen boys. :)

Indeed. I remember the days when many kids considered a Coke spritz an effective form of birth control.

Replies:   pcbondsman
pcbondsman 🚫

@Vincent Berg

And add an aspirin (Preferable before the spritz, but to each his own.) to get high. ;)

Replies:   oyster50
oyster50 🚫

@pcbondsman

The aspirin works best for birth control if grasped firmly between the girl's knees.

Switch Blayde 🚫

@pcbondsman

the top ten positions for getting pregnant

Isn't the Cowgirl where the girl is on top? Not the best position for getting pregnant.

Replies:   aubie56
aubie56 🚫

@Switch Blayde

According to my son's Sex Ed. teacher back in 1970, any position that can be used to get penetration, no matter how shallow, is enough to cause pregnancy. Her recommendation was to use a condom or don't do it at all.

By the way, this was a 5th Grade class. It was in Ann Arbor, Mich.

Replies:   Dominions Son
Dominions Son 🚫

@aubie56

According to my son's Sex Ed. teacher back in 1970, any position that can be used to get penetration, no matter how shallow, is enough to cause pregnancy.

Yes, but if you are specifically trying to get pregnant as opposed to trying to avoid pregnancy, some positions give you higher odds than others.

Vincent Berg 🚫

Sperm is very good at swimming fast, but only for very short distances, so position (penetration) matters, while gravity doesn't.

Replies:   madnige  Argon
madnige 🚫

@Vincent Berg

Sperm is very good at swimming fast, but only for very short distances

Sperm#1: I'm knackered, is it far to the Fallopian tubes?
Sperm#2: Ages yet, we've only just passed the Tonsils!

Argon 🚫

@Vincent Berg

Sperm is very good at swimming fast, but only for very short distances, so position (penetration) matters, while gravity doesn't.

If that were true, short dicks would have been eliminated by natural selection. :o)

Replies:   sejintenej
sejintenej 🚫

@Argon

If that were true, short dicks would have been eliminated by natural selection. :o)

I would guess a piledriver could overcome that problem

Ross at Play 🚫

@awnlee jawking

The newspaper cites ChannelMum.com as the source.

This is totally useless information for me.
I would be interested in the Top Ten list from Chennel-Dad and Channel-Don't-Want-2B-A-Dad.

StarFleet Carl 🚫

My wife was a nurse at a special ed school where many of the parents weren't much better off upstairs than the kids in the school. She'd noticed that one of the mothers was pregnant again and went to offer congratulations. The woman told her, "I don't know how it happened, I was on my knees lookin' t'other way, you cain't get pregnant that way..."

Replies:   Lostlady
Lostlady 🚫

@StarFleet Carl

I knew a guy a long time back who tried convincing any girl that would listen that it was safe to have sex with him without a condom because he already had impregnated one girl and "you can't get another girl pregnant until after the first one gives birth". Trouble was he really believed it. He soon found out you can't get a girl pregnant after she gives you a swiftly delivered knee into the groin.

sejintenej 🚫

@Lostlady

I knew a guy a long time back who tried convincing any girl that would listen that it was safe to have sex with him without a condom because he already had impregnated one girl and "you can't get another girl pregnant until after the first one gives birth". Trouble was he really believed it. He soon found out you can't get a girl pregnant after she gives you a swiftly delivered knee into the groin.

How on earth can any bloke come up with such a stupid story and believe it - he had to be mentally deficient or worse. As for the girl: good for her

Replies:   StarFleet Carl
StarFleet Carl 🚫

@sejintenej

How on earth can any bloke come up with such a stupid story and believe it

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity. After all, people voted for Hillary, didn't they? :)

Seriously though, there are some really strange ideas regarding sex and procreation out there. You know the doctor joke, what do you call women who practice the rhythm method of birth control? Mothers.

Now, while it's false that a guy at Gettysburg got shot in the balls and had the minie ball end up in a womans abdomen and made her pregnant (although that was a hell of a story), there are so many old wives tales out there still and honestly, a lot of the population around the world just isn't educated enough to know that those old wives tales ARE false. How many times have you heard of a woman cutting the ends off a roast because that's how her momma did it, and find out that it's because grandma did the same thing - only to find out that it's because grandma didn't have a big enough pan to fit the roast in the first place? Same stupid people, all the time.

Dominions Son 🚫

@StarFleet Carl

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

Or wishful thinking/motivated reasoning.

Replies:   Zom
Zom 🚫

@Dominions Son

Or wishful thinking/motivated reasoning.

Or being an acolyte of the post-truth movers …

Dominions Son 🚫

@StarFleet Carl

You know the doctor joke, what do you call women who practice the rhythm method of birth control?

It's better than nothing if you don't have access to modern birth control.

It could be considerably more effective, if it were possible to directly and precisely determine where a woman was in her menstrual cycle at any given moment. Unfortunately, the technology for that doesn't exist yet.

doctor_wing_nut 🚫

@StarFleet Carl

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

Words to live by.
Should be a slogan on a T-Shirt.

Ross at Play 🚫

@StarFleet Carl

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

... spoken by a human still underestimating the power of human stupidity.

Replies:   StarFleet Carl
StarFleet Carl 🚫

@Ross at Play

I didn't create it, I'm just quoting RAH. And it was true in 1973, and seems to still be true today.

Replies:   Ross at Play
Ross at Play 🚫

@StarFleet Carl

No offense intended. It was an attempt at sarcasm where I didn't get the wording right.
I was trying to suggest that even if you try and think you are not underestimating it, you guess probably still falls short of where it really is.

awnlee jawking 🚫

@Lostlady

Like telephone cold-callers, it only takes one sucker to believe their patter and they're quids in, whether the cold-callers believe it themselves or not.

AJ

Replies:   sejintenej
sejintenej 🚫

@awnlee jawking

Like telephone cold-callers, it only takes one sucker to believe their patter and they're quids in, whether the cold-callers believe it themselves or not.

I expect that most of you have received a "Nigerian 419 scam" email or the earlier Chicago mafia "PLO Loan" offer. In respect of the 419 scam quite a few people have delivered the bribe money in person and been found murdered. One US man built up his business himself and then got taken for a cool US$6.5 MILLION! At least he lived to regret his greed.

Another company I knew got involved in the "sale of steel from Russia to build a hospital in the eastern USA". They could not believe it was a US$200 million fraud!

Yes, greed is a real blinder but I must give tribute to agents in the CIA London office and FBI Miami for acting fast and decisively in various similar situations

Ernest Bywater 🚫

Want to truly fuck a lot of people, become the president of the usa, being a congressman or senator also gives you room to fuck over people.

Replies:   REP
REP 🚫

@Ernest Bywater

Being a politician gives you some power to fix the problems of your society. Even well-meaning idiots cause problems when they tweak something. Especially, when they don't understand how their tweak will affect the problems and society.

Then you have the self-absorbed idiots who are out to remake the world to their image of what is right (aka Trump and associates). They truly do not care if the public is hurt by their actions. They consider the problems they inflict on the public to be collateral damage that can't be avoided.

aubie56 🚫

@REP

Yeah, but what if Trump is the Anti-Christ!?

Replies:   Ernest Bywater
Ernest Bywater 🚫

@aubie56

Yeah, but what if Trump is the Anti-Christ!?

Then there must be several anti-christs, because Obama is one.

Replies:   richardshagrin  REP
richardshagrin 🚫

@Ernest Bywater

Then there must be several anti-christs

Wouldn't they be uncle-christs? To be an aunty-Christ they would need to be women.

Replies:   Ernest Bywater
Ernest Bywater 🚫

@richardshagrin

To be an aunty-Christ they would need to be women.

That would be Hillary Clinton.

REP 🚫

@Ernest Bywater

According to Wikipedia,

In Christianity, the Antichrist (Greek: αντίχριστος, translit. antichristos; Hebrew: ΧΧ Χ˜Χ™Χ›Χ¨Χ™Χ‘Χ˜β€Žβ€Ž) or False Messiah (Greek: ΟˆΞ΅Ο…Ξ΄ΟŒΟ‚ ΞœΞ΅ΟƒΟƒΞ―Ξ±Ο‚, translit. psevdΓ³s MessΓ­as; Hebrew: ΧžΧ©Χ™Χ— Χ©Χ§Χ¨β€Žβ€Ž) is generally regarded as a figure of evil that will falsely claim to be the Christ (Messiah).

Sounds to me like the positions taken by most politicians. Especially when campaigning for office; although the positions usually aren't religious.

Replies:   aubie56
aubie56 🚫

@REP

For what it's worth, my heroes usually are already rich or become rich so that they can devote their time to the point of the story. Otherwise, they would spend so much time working to support themselves and their family that there would be no story.

If that is gaining power, then so be it, but I class it as a way to make the story more interesting. That, by the way, is why so many of my Western heroes are bounty hunters--they can support themselves while advancing the story.

Replies:   REP  awnlee jawking
REP 🚫

@aubie56

Yes, the MC working for a living would be a plot killer for most SOL story plots. The only way that would work is if the plot is about the MC making a living.

Replies:   Vincent Berg
Vincent Berg 🚫

@REP

Yes, the MC working for a living would be a plot killer for most SOL story plots. The only way that would work is if the plot is about the MC making a living.

I kept getting feedback on my original "Catalyst" series (as the protagonist's health started to fail), asking why he didn't start an exercise program. The simple answer was, since he kept changing locations, dedicating specific times for him to exercise cut into what I could show him doing, and required separate, largely non-productive story sequences (i.e. they wouldn't necessarily advance the plot).

Anytime a character has job or time requirements, it cuts into their ability to react to events. If a kid is still in school, there's an easy solution, as that's their main socializing time and accounts for their conflicts and romantic entanglements. However, no one wants to read about filling out job applications or serving up burgers in a fast-food joint.

Replies:   awnlee jawking  sejintenej  REP
awnlee jawking 🚫

@Vincent Berg

serving up burgers in a fast-food joint

I'm pretty sure I've read at least a couple of decent stories where the protagonist is employed for a while in a fast food joint.

Lazlo Zalezac's 'Millionaire Next Door' is the only one I can remember the name of off hand.

AJ

sejintenej 🚫

@Vincent Berg

Anytime a character has job or time requirements, it cuts into their ability to react to events. If a kid is still in school, there's an easy solution, as that's their main socializing time and accounts for their conflicts and romantic entanglements. However, no one wants to read about filling out job applications

Remember that knocking the hell out of a golf or base ball is a job whilst trying to put the other foot ball player also is a paid career so include most sports stories. Then you get the politicians (including the one whose President gets killed in 11/9) who think that they have a job (even if the rest of us think otherwise)

REP 🚫

@Vincent Berg

If a kid is still in school, there's an easy solution, as that's their main socializing time and accounts for their conflicts and romantic entanglements.

Have you ever wondered how these high school students do what they do outside of class time and still manage to do their homework, so they can earn the grades the story indicate they are getting - usually As

awnlee jawking 🚫

@aubie56

Otherwise, they would spend so much time working to support themselves and their family that there would be no story.

I've seen waaaay too many stories in which the protagonist is an IT wizard who can accomplish a week's worth of chargeable work in a couple of hours :(

AJ

Replies:   aubie56  Ernest Bywater
aubie56 🚫

@awnlee jawking

I don't think that was one of my stories!

Ernest Bywater 🚫

@awnlee jawking

I've seen waaaay too many stories in which the protagonist is an IT wizard who can accomplish a week's worth of chargeable work in a couple of hours :(

It was many, many moons ago - but I actually did that once.

I had a lot of code I was working on at home for a private project when a client said they wanted something done, and I realised 80% of the code I had would do about 90% of what they wanted. Copy, minor changes, clean, compile and check - voila, weeks of work done in one day from the customer's viewpoint I did bill for all the many hours I'd done on it over the previous months. But that was an odd, and not often see, situation.

Dominions Son 🚫

@REP

Being a politician gives you some power to fix the problems of your society.

True, but it also generally robs you of any desire to do so.

Replies:   REP
REP 🚫

@Dominions Son

True, but it also generally robs you of any desire to do so.

So true. For me, and I suspect you, most politicians are in office for what they can get out of it for themselves. They get the power to help the public, but most don't use it that way, unless it benefits them.

awnlee jawking 🚫

@REP

who are out to remake the world to their image of what is right

Isn't that the American Dream? Become ultra-rich and powerful then you can do what you want. Most of the wish-fulfillment stories on SOL depend on the protagonist becoming extremely rich and therefore entitled to privilege above and beyond Joe Public.

AJ

Replies:   REP
REP 🚫

@awnlee jawking

Isn't that the American Dream?

To become rich, yes. To afford to do that which you wish, yes.

Extreme wealth is power. How that power is exercised is not part of the American dream. However, the wealth generates power and that power is used. The stories on SOL define what the writer thinks they might use that power for, if they had it.

What one would like to do before gaining power is often very different from what one would do once they had the power.

KimLittle 🚫

Forgive my ignorance, but what is "The Eagle"?

Replies:   awnlee jawking  REP
awnlee jawking 🚫

@KimLittle

what is "The Eagle"?

I suggest you consult google. I had to look this one up too, I didn't realise the position had that name. You live and learn!

AJ

Replies:   KimLittle
KimLittle 🚫

@awnlee jawking

Three different versions... I think they were just looking for crazy shit to fill out the Karma Sutra.

"Oh sure, you'll end up with a dislocated shoulder and penetration will be so deep she'll need a lapesiotomy but it'll be worth it." +eyeroll+

Replies:   awnlee jawking
awnlee jawking 🚫

@KimLittle

penetration will be so deep

The first link google presented me with took me to a site which recommended it as suitable for men with a small penis ;)

Good to know there's another chapter of "Off The Deep End" imminent. Keep up the good work.

AJ

REP 🚫

@KimLittle

Forgive my ignorance, but what is "The Eagle"?

Don't feel bad. In addition to "The Eagle", there were several I have never heard of.

Dominions Son 🚫

@REP

Don't feel bad. In addition to "The Eagle", there were several I have never heard of.

What about "the toad"? After looking them up, "the toad", didn't seem that different from "the eagle. Even past what the fuck is "the toad" I am left with who the fuck thought "the toad" was a good name for a sexual position?

Replies:   REP  REP
REP 🚫

@Dominions Son

After looking them up,

The topic (i.e. unusual sexual positions) didn't interest me enough to expend the effort of looking up the definition of the positions.

REP 🚫
Updated:

@Dominions Son

I am left with who the fuck thought "the toad" was a good name for a sexual position?

Sort of reminds me of the names used for some yoga positions; like the Forward Leaning Dog. I'm not into yoga, but from the name it sounds like a few sexual positions described in SOL stories. :)

sejintenej 🚫

@REP

KimLittle

Forgive my ignorance, but what is "The Eagle"?

Don't feel bad. In addition to "The Eagle", there were several I have never heard of.

From the original illustration think of "Missionary" but with her legs held vertically upwards. My suspicion is that they intended the "piledriver" (missionary with her feet beside her head)

Either would be good for impregnation which is what the article was all about

awnlee jawking 🚫

@awnlee jawking

And, according to a Dr Karan Raj in a TikTok video (nope, me neither), the Reverse Cowgirl is responsible for up to 50% of bedroom-related fractured penises.

AJ

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