At one point in my life I had an apartment literally spitting distance from the building beside it. Uncomfortably so. The windows were an even match. I kept my blinders closed, at all times.
Until.
I heard her down below me.
Across and down below me.
There was a woman down there. Her blinders were not smartly closed at all. That shit was wide open. Her bed was directly alongside the window on the wall. And she was fucking herself. Watching Aeon Flux (I kid you not. I could view her and the TV).
I was mesmerized.
I watched her every chance I got going forward.
Despite that I felt horrible about it. Stealing from her that way, ya know?
The way she went about it was absolutely OBLIVIOUS that anyone else might be viewing her. She was most definitely not putting on a show. It was substantially invested and intimate that way. It might go on for well beyond an hour. I found it fantastically enlightening to watch a woman be patient with herself that way. How dynamically different from me she was. A recognition I could never formulate myself. I would never be TAUGHT that any other way. I could only view it. In the way that I was.
And I felt fucking horrible about it.
For a couple months there it was summer. And she’d leave the window open. Moan all night.
Fingering herself and watching Aeon Flux. That was not a one time thing. She watched it regularly. I found that to be just about as fascinating as all the rest. Why in the world does she watch Aeon Flux like that? I mean, I get it, that’s a sexy cartoon. But… for a woman?
Aeon Flux, prancing around, landing on things the way she does, kicking ass. She loved it.
This woman was maybe in her mid to late 20’s by the way. And her body was healthy. She wasn’t fat and she wasn’t skinny. She had flesh on her. Her boobs were maybe right between a C and a D. And if you ask me, she’s that. Not definable. In between some other person’s definition of things that simply isn’t completely accurate.
We were living in Hollywood at the time. Me and her I mean.
Me in my building and her over there in hers.
Hollywood is a brutal and carnivorous wasteland of people eating people. All that anyone ever does in Hollywood is scout - for the next opportunity. It’s a dog eat dog situation. Fish eating fish.
Except for those nights when my next door neighbor would turn on Aeon Flux and fuck herself so uniquely magnificent like.
On those nights? I’d never need NUTHIN else.
-true story