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What goes in hard but comes out soft and wet?
No, gum, you creep.
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The German word for 'Bra' is 'Stoppemfrumfloppen'.
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When I say my wife has a twin, people ask how I can tell them apart. I explain, "My wife paints her nails pink but her twin Bob has a beard and a dick."
Two men stole all the Viagra from a pharmacy. Now the police are on the lookout for two hardened criminals.
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Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.
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Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were young? I talked to Bubbles the other day and he asked how you were doing.
I'm doing this for free and only have a certain amount of writing time available. I also like getting the action started by the middle of chapter one. If I ever need to grind through three pages about a guy putting his shoes on or endure two thousand words describing somebody's hair again, I'll be tempted to claw my own eyes out.
"He looked at her beautiful red curls, then slid on his cowboy boots." There, I just saved six pages and most of a weekend typing.
I read and edit each of my works at least twice before publishing but occasionally missed steaks can slip though. -grin- For those who prefer slower and more polished stories, there are many other authors out there. To each their own.
If you're willing to pay me enough to quit my real job, I'll write the way you want. But until then...
I posted a new and much better version of 'Henrich's World' this morning. Please take a look if you enjoy sci-fi with some sex and romance.
https://storiesonline.net/s/28847/henrichs-world
What lasts a total of 10 minutes in bed?
A high school football team.
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The last time I bought condoms the cashier asked if I wanted a bag. I told him, "No, thanks. I'll just turn the lights off."
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What's the difference between an ass and a refrigerator?
The fridge doesn't fart when you take out your meat.
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