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Greetings, intrepid readers! M. H. Barton here with another blog on the art and craft of storytelling. Now that we’re finally through the holiday season, I thought I’d take a little break from the high-intensity ranking blogs with lots of research involved. Instead, I’m just gonna kick back and wax philosophical a bit in this one as I explore the flaws behind one of my favorite heroic entities in storytelling – the Jedi. As anyone who knows me can attest, I love Star Wars. Like, frickin’ love it to death. It’s probably my biggest fandom and has been since elementary school. I haven’t always liked or agreed with the new directions the series has taken in recent years, but I still adore the concept of a high fantasy story told in a science fiction universe. And what’s a high fantasy story without knights in shining armor? Well, in this case, it’s more knights with shining lightsabers, but what’s the difference? Anyway, I wanted to explore the history behind this order of selfless warrior monks and explain why, in spite of their noble ways, I believe they’re always doomed to fall apart. This is, of course, only my opinion, but I do think a great many fans will share these views. I will try to stick to canon information, though there may be an occasional reference to the non-canon books, comics, and the like of the Expanded Universe. Anyway, that’s enough rambling. Time to do or do not.

Much of the origins of the Jedi remain a mystery, but we know the first Jedi Temple was built on the planet of Ahch-To. There, they wrote a set of ancient texts to outline their religion and set laws to govern the Jedi Order. Foremost among these was their faith in the Light Side of the Force, which drew power from peace, benevolence, and serenity. In time, a group of Jedi went rogue as they explored the Dark Side, drawing on anger, fear, and a lust for power in their efforts. These rogue Jedi eventually formed their own order, the Sith, and war soon followed, breaking out about 1,000 years before the events of Episode I. Despite their early success, the Sith were eventually wiped out to near extinction. This was not only due to the heroic efforts of the Jedi to beat them back but also because the ranks of the Sith began to cannibalize themselves as they betrayed each other for greater power. In the end, the core tenants of the Sith were their undoing. Only Darth Bane survived the war and decided to create the Rule of Two, stating there could only be two Sith – a master to amass power and an apprentice to covet that power. In this way, the enemies of the Jedi continued to survive in secret for a millennium.

But what of the Jedi following the war? This is where things get very interesting. While official information on how the Jedi Order changed in the postwar era is limited, it is reasonable to assume that they became far stricter in enforcing their laws. In the non-canon Expanded Universe, the time before this war was less regulated and each Master was allowed to teach their apprentices as they saw fit. Some Jedi even married and formed families. Once the war was won, however, it can be postulated that the Jedi High Council began to crack down on such deviations from official doctrine. This truly began the Order’s emphasis on avoiding attachments of any kind. Per the company line, Jedi are to be selfless and compassionate, always putting others above themselves. Allowing oneself to fall in love with another person interferes with this by introducing what the Order viewed as the start of a slippery slope – the fear of loss. Grand Master Yoda often spoke of this fear leading to anger and hate, specifically through jealousy at the prospect of losing a loved one to death. In but a few generations following the war, it seems clear that all dissension regarding this issue had been quashed or removed from the Order, ushering the Jedi into a golden age of stability. Or so they thought.

As previously stated, the Sith managed to survive for the millennium following the war thanks to the Rule of Two. Eventually, Sheev Palpatine, secretly the Sith Master Darth Sidious, began to ascend through the political ranks of the Republic, all while plotting the downfall of the Jedi Order. When the Jedi broke their rule of only accepting infants into their Order by admitting Anakin Skywalker, Palpatine saw his chance. Anakin had incredible potential with the Force and a desire to prove himself as a Jedi, yet also a great deal of anger at the continued enslavement of his mother. The Jedi teachings of letting go of this attachment were of no comfort to the angsty young man, allowing Palpatine to step in and form a seemingly innocent friendship with him. Thus, the stage was set for Darth Sidious to vanquish the ancient enemy of the Sith.

Ultimately, the Jedi were ruinously unprepared to train a student such as Anakin. After all, the only reason they broke their rule and admitted him into the Order was due to the belief that Anakin was the prophesized Chosen One. According to Jedi teachings, a Chosen One was to be born of no father, like Anakin, and would use his enormous skill to bring the Force into ultimate balance. With the pain and anger in Anakin’s past, he needed a teacher who could soften that pain and help him deal with it, someone like the renegade Jedi Qui-Gon Jinn. But with Jinn’s death, the task of training Anakin fell to Obi-Wan Kenobi. Kenobi is certainly one of the greatest Jedi in the history of the Order, but he still wasn’t the teacher Anakin needed. Kenobi was a company man through and through, believing in the Jedi Code with his all and without exception. Anakin’s frustrations with Kenobi’s unyielding belief in the Code caused him to further his friendship with Palpatine.

The beginning of the end happened when Anakin decided to break the Jedi Code, marrying Padmé Amidala and conceiving a child with her. He knew there was nobody in the Order he could confide in, so he kept this a secret for over three years as he fought in the Clone War. As the war raged on, Padmé and Palpatine continued to be Anakin’s only true friends, at least in his mind, yet Padmé held influence over Anakin that even Palpatine did not. Still, the Sith had a plan for this. Though never explicitly stated, it is heavily implied that Palpatine used the Dark Side to influence Anakin’s dreams. This first resulted in Anakin killing the Tuskin Raiders who killed his mother, starting his descent toward the Dark Side. The killing blow, literally and figuratively, came when he gave Anakin dreams of Padmé dying in childbirth. This was the ultimate motivation for Anakin to do whatever it took to save her, even turning on the Jedi Order. Yoda attempted to counsel Anakin in these matters, but without knowing the full extent of the dreams, his reply came off as tone-deaf and uncaring to young Anakin. With Yoda’s failure to see what was truly at play in Anakin’s dreams, the fate of the Jedi Order was officially sealed. The Order soon fell, allowing Palpatine to take absolute control of the galaxy with the Galactic Empire.

Over two decades later, the age of the Empire would finally come to an end thanks to the efforts of Luke Skywalker to redeem his father Anakin, now Darth Vader. With Anakin seemingly fulfilling the prophecy of the Chosen One by killing Palpatine and destroying the Sith, Luke then seized upon the opportunity to rebuild the Jedi Order as the New Republic rose. Of course, Luke’s Jedi training under Yoda was far from conventional, being little more than a crash course. Thus, Luke began to give his twin sister, Leia, the training of a true Jedi Knight. She nearly succeeded but chose to end her training when she had a vision of her son’s death signaling the completion of her training.

As this son, Ben Solo, came of age, Leia sent him to Luke for Jedi training, hoping to curb the darker influence of Solo’s grandfather, Anakin Skywalker. Though Leia’s career is certainly that of an exemplary leader, this was perhaps the greatest folly of her life. To entrust the volatile young grandson of Anakin Skywalker to a new Jedi Master who was still himself finding out what it meant to be a Jedi was a massive mistake. In his desire to rebuild the Jedi Order, Luke had steeped himself in their old teachings of avoiding attachment, isolating himself from the family he had found during his time with the Rebel Alliance. Ben proved to be a prodigy with the Force, but as he grew older and stronger, various forces worked to tempt him to the Dark Side. It is unclear how effective these forces were in their efforts, but what is clear is what ultimately sent him over the edge.

Master Luke Skywalker ultimately fell prey to the same mistake as his father – acting rashly on a vision that gave him only a small amount of information. In Luke’s case, he foresaw the dark warrior Ben Solo could become and resolved to kill the young man in his sleep. Though he stopped himself before he could strike, Ben woke up right then and saw what was about to happen. The result was a whirlwind of emotions for young Ben, who destroyed Luke’s Jedi academy and killed all the students in the process. With his own uncle seemingly against him, Ben quickly fell to the Dark Side and joined the First Order under Supreme Leader Snoke, bringing the second Jedi Order to a disastrous close. Luke, in his shame, retreated into exile on Ahch-To, discovering the sacred Jedi texts during his seclusion there. Of course, he was eventually found by Rey, who later defeated the First Order and redeemed Ben Solo, but we have yet to see if any Jedi Order will rise again from her efforts.

Ultimately, the Jedi Order will always fail because of their misunderstandings of a few key fundamental principles. First are their views on fear. They believe fear, any fear, to be a path to the Dark Side, but fear itself is natural and unavoidable. Instead, they should have focused on understanding fear and avoiding being ruled by it. The best-intentioned Jedi did attempt this to some extent, such as Grand Master Yoda, but it did no good in the end. Their Creed simply had no room to understand those in the Order who struggled with fear, leading to the tone-deaf attitude of the High Council.

The old Jedi Order was so obsessed with avoiding fear that they then forced their members to avoid anything that could possibly lead to fear, even those things that are normally good and healthy things for people. Foremost is the ability to have a romantic relationship with another. Curiously, George Lucas himself has said that Jedi aren’t forced to be celibate. It’s the emotional attachment that’s forbidden, not the physical act. In the non-canon stories, Master Ki-Adi-Mundi was even married to multiple wives due to the low birth rate of males of his species, though he still tried to refrain from emotional attachment to them. The Jedi didn’t just misunderstand fear, but also emotional intimacy itself. It isn’t a one-way street, as the Jedi treated it. It’s a constant two-lane road that must be traversed with purpose and care. Looking at the Jedi Order through the lens of religion, I see a number of parallels between the Jedi and our modern Catholic Church.

Full disclosure, I’m a Protestant, not a Catholic, so my understanding of Catholic affairs is limited, but I know a bit. Catholic priests are not allowed to marry at all in order to devote their entire being to God, but this has brought new problems to light in the modern day. There are many stories of priests breaking their vow by marrying and having children, some seeking backdoor permission to do so and others doing so in complete secret. Many of these individuals have been allowed to remain as priests after being discovered, even as they live with their wives, presumably acting as husbands and wives do with each other. And, of course, there is the widespread problem of serial child abuse among the priesthood, which has still not been properly dealt with, in my humble opinion. But I digress. My point is not to shame this as hypocrisy but to highlight that both the Jedi and the Catholic Church hold to ideals that are unrealistic and unhealthy. After all, the Bible itself says in Genesis that it is not good for Man to be alone. Whether in our real world or a Galaxy Far, Far Away, we are social creatures who need companionship and emotional intimacy to become our best selves.

What saddened me even more than the fall of the old Jedi Order was seeing how Luke structured his new Order. In his desire to give the new Jedi students as much conventional training as possible, Luke fell into the trap of failing to learn from the past. He had a prime opportunity to reform the Jedi Code and prevent it from being ruled by fear, but he instead doubled down on it. We see this clearly when he begins training the young Grogu, warning him against the attachment he has formed with Mandalorian warrior Din Djarin and forcing him to choose between family and the Jedi. I remember first watching that scene and feeling my heart break. Luke’s methods show that he has learned nothing, and it took the fall of his own Order for him to get it.

In his exile on Ahch-To, Luke finally understands the vanity and hubris of the Jedi. He understands their view of the Jedi being the keepers of the Light Side is folly because neither the Light Side nor the Dark Side can be destroyed. They exist in a balance, and even the old Jedi Order didn’t truly understand that balance. The Jedi Order had faith in a prophecy that a Chosen One would bring balance to the Force by destroying the Sith, but he instead brought balance by destroying nearly all the Jedi, bringing their numbers on par with the Sith. In the non-canon stories, there are former Jedi called Gray Jedi. They follow the Light Side while recognizing that the Dark Side will always exist alongside it. They fight for balance, to ensure the Dark does not overwhelm the Light, and to ensure the Light does not become oblivious to the true nature of the Dark. The films ended rather ambiguously with Rey as the last surviving Jedi after destroying the Sith, but I have some slight hope. I like to think she may try to take a different path going forward. Perhaps Rey could become something of a Gray Jedi, being a champion of balance and training future Jedi to do the same. Of course, I could be dead wrong, as she still keeps the sacred Jedi texts, but maybe this will finally be the moment the Jedi learn from their past mistakes. But as future Star Wars movies are on hold for a while, only time will tell.

And that’s going to do it for this bit of speculation. I hope my musings were interesting and entertaining, maybe even helpful to you in your efforts. Of course, I’d like to know what you think. Am I on point? Dead wrong? Feel free to let me know in the comments or reach out directly, especially if you have any ideas or requests for future entries. I’ve got an active running list of ideas, but I’m always open to more. I’d appreciate it if you’d leave a like and share this post on social media. And to stay up to date on future blog posts, you can sign up for my monthly newsletter on my website. Until the next story!

Greetings, intrepid readers! M. H. Barton here with another blog on the art and craft of storytelling. It’s a new year with new beginnings, so to start 2023, I thought I’d examine the best franchise reboots in film. Reboots aren’t a new idea, but they’ve exploded in popularity in recent years. While many reboots fall flat, a precious few prove to be both necessary and transcendent, which we’ll explore here. Of note, I do make a distinction between a remake and a reboot. Remakes, by and large, are mostly faithful recreations of their source material for its own sake, such as 2010’s True Grit. Reboots, on the other hand, are meant to start the franchise fresh with a blank slate. The reboot may still pay homage to its origins if the original was particularly successful or iconic, but the ultimate goal of a reboot is to take the franchise in a new direction moving forward. Also, I won’t be considering sequels that come out years after the original, such as Top Gun: Maverick, as I consider these to be revivals, not reboots. Only true, hard reboots are considered. Anyway, that’s enough outlining. Time to start anew!

Number Ten – Star Trek (2009)

While the main Star Trek franchise has largely maintained a single continuity throughout its film and TV history, this movie was the first to break with that. Here, we meet a completely new James T. Kirk and Mr. Spock, brilliantly played by Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto. The story concept is appropriately heady, featuring time travel, alternate universes, and historical deviations due to the villain, Nero, as well as the original Spock. Hell, we even get a crowd-pleasing cameo from Leonard Nemoy himself! Though it does have many of the bombastic action sequences typical of modern films, this is a reboot crafted with great care, bringing the relationship between Kirk and Spock to the forefront. While nothing can replace the original show and films, this film was an incredible effort to introduce the franchise to a younger generation.

Number Nine – Godzilla (2014)

One of the oldest franchises on this list, the Godzilla films have run the gamut from tense and horrifying to downright silly. But with director Gareth Edwards at the helm, this film’s goal was to harken back to the more restrained style of the original 1954 film while starting the franchise fresh. He wanted to play hard into the man vs. nature type of story and was influenced by real disasters such as the 2004 tsunami, hurricane Katrina, and the Fukushima disaster. This gritty approach was an absolute necessity after the dumpster fire that was 1998’s Godzilla. While that version focused on a largely mortal creature that could ultimately be killed, this Godzilla returns to being a creature of mythical proportions, immune to the army’s best weapons and striking untold fear with the mere mention of its name. This reboot was an excellent reminder that similar to Jaws, the most powerful of creatures often don’t require massive amounts of screen time to make their mark.

Number Eight – Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

After Tim Burton’s failed 2001 reboot of this film series, it took another ten years for a true successor to the original Charlton Heston classic to emerge. Rather than using spaceships and time travel, this reboot instead focused on human experiments on apes that inadvertently enhanced their genetics. What follows is a surprisingly deep look at the potential consequences of science without a conscience. With James Franco as the lead actor and Andy Serkis once again transcending his motion-capture suit, this CGI spectacular shows an incredible amount of heart. The way the sci-fi elements weave seamlessly with the racial and societal undertones is quite impressive. This is a worthy successor to the original films, hence why it received two sequels with a third now in production. An excellent new direction for fans of the Heston film.

Number Seven – It (2017)

This one is a bit of a grey area, as the original 1990 It was a mini-series, rather than a film, but I feel they count due to how iconic they both are. Where Tim Curry took the world by storm as the original Pennywise, Bill Skarsgård upped the stakes significantly with his downright terrifying portrayal of the demented clown. Combine this with a crew of excellent young actors and spot-on direction from Andy Muschietti, and you’ve got a film that redefined the horror franchise in the modern day. While most horror films are either slasher or psychological, It is one of those rare gems that manages to balance both elements. I’ll admit that horror isn’t a genre I enjoy at all, but even I can see how powerful this faithful adaptation of Stephen King’s story is.

Number Six – The Mummy (1999)

Ah, good memories of this movie. Where the original 1932 film was a true horror classic, director Stephen Sommers wanted a more adventurous and romantic feel for this reboot, making it something of a spiritual successor to Indiana Jones. This turned out to be the right choice, as Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz have ridiculously good chemistry throughout. That, plus the tense confrontations with the villainous Imhotep make for a truly epic adventure if there ever was one. Industrial Light & Magic was at the top of their game, as well, making the CGI effects both believable and fantastic while blending these effects seamlessly with the live-action segments. This classic reboot made for a successful four-film franchise, one that launched the acting career of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, for better or worse. Sadly, the franchise would be rebooted once again with Tom Cruise as the lead, with far less success. Sometimes, one should let sleeping mummies lie.

Number Five – Casino Royale (2006)

James Bond is another tricky area for reboots. One could argue the franchise is rebooted every time there’s a new Bond actor. I, however, typically view the series through the lens of semi-continuous period stories rather than a constantly rebooted continuity. The one exception to this, of course, is Daniel Craig’s first outing as Bond in Casino Royale. For the first time, Eon Productions made a clean break from all previous films and decided to tell Bond’s origin story, kicking off a series-within-a-series for Daniel Craig. While the four direct sequels would go through various highs (Skyfall) and lows (Quantum of Solace), this entry was a strong beginning to that new direction. While I may disagree with some of the creative decisions made in this one, I’ll give the studio credit for choosing its direction and committing to it. They wanted a Bond who was darker, grittier, and more brutal in his violence, and that’s what they gave us. As Q would say two films later, they don’t really go in for exploding pens anymore.

Number Four – Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

One of the best superheroes of all time, Spider-Man is no stranger to the big screen. Tobey Maguire did well as the first modern Peter Parker, but his film series went off the rails in its third entry, prompting the ill-fated reboot with Andrew Garfield. After two blah films, fans worried about the future of Spidey. That is, until it was announced Spider-Man would join the massive ranks of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. With Tom Holland as Peter Parker, he thrilled audiences during his first appearance in Captain America: Civil War, leading directly to his first solo outing in Homecoming. It’s a joyous blend of high school drama and superhero antics, all enhanced further by Holland’s excellent portrayal of our favorite web-slinger. I’d be remiss if I didn’t also mention the spot-on performance by Michael Keaton as the villain, Adrian Toomes. With Maguire, we got a perfect Peter Parker but a so-so Spider-Man. With Garfield, Spider-Man was better but at the expense of Peter Parker. Holland is truly the best of both worlds, equal parts awkward Peter Parker and quippy Spider-Man. Of note, I seriously considered Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse for this slot as well. Tom Holland was just such a sigh of relief for fans that he won out, but Spider-Verse definitely deserves a mention, too.

Number Three – Ocean’s Eleven (2001)

The original Ocean’s 11 was a classic heist film, no doubt. After all, it was Sinatra and the Rat Pack in their prime. But even the Rat Pack can’t hold a candle to this ensemble cast performance by George Clooney and friends. This isn’t just the best heist film ever made, it’s the film that defines the entire genre. Each of its sequels, The Italian Job, Ant-Man, and every film with even a hint of heist elements owes much to this film. The cast is perfect, the story is gripping, the twists and turns of their scheme are fun and exciting, nothing at all is out of place. This wasn’t just an excellent reboot, it was a truly necessary reboot for the world of filmmaking and storytelling.

Number Two – The Magnificent Seven (1960)

Speaking of ensemble cast performances, this is one of the few that can give even the cast of Ocean’s Eleven a run for its money. Headlined by Yul Brynner and Steve McQueen, this classic western is actually a reboot of the Japanese film, Seven Samurai, which itself was known as The Magnificent Seven in America. While the American reboot received only mixed reviews upon its release, it’s since been regarded as one of the greatest westerns ever made. The cast is incredible, the script is strong, and the direction by John Sturges is superb. Even with three sequels, a TV series, and the 2016 film remake, the original gripping and emotional tale of vigilantes fighting for something greater than themselves will always rank among the best stories ever told.

Honorable Mentions

Tomb Raider (2018)

Films adapted from video games have a rough history, to say the least, but this one starring Alicia Vikander is a bright spot. The original Tomb Raider may have launched Angelina Jolie into superstardom, but this film truly captured the tone of the video games. Sadly, a sequel has been delayed, but this one is definitely worth the watch.

X-Men: First Class (2011)

The X-Men franchise had been rocky and inconsistent, but this half-prequel and half-reboot showed that good things could still be found in these characters. Though James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender are no Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen, their takes on a younger Xavier and Magneto were well-received, cementing this film’s success.

Man of Steel (2013)

Five years after the start of the MCU, DC decided it was time to try its hand at a cinematic universe. It hasn’t gone that well for them since, but their initial outing was a surprisingly strong one. Rather than focusing on the Boy Scout elements of Superman, as with Christopher Reeve, Henry Cavill explored the darker aspects of the character. It still suffered from being another reboot trying to emulate the greatest reboot of all. Speaking of which, that leads us to…

Number One – Batman Begins (2005)

This isn’t just the greatest reboot ever, it’s also the most necessary reboot. Batman had fallen on hard times in film. Though the 1990s were kind to the character in TV shows with the DC Animated Universe, the film series crashed and burned in 1997 with the much-maligned Batman & Robin. After eight years, Christopher Nolan took the helm and decided not to tell the story of Batman, but of Bruce Wayne. That’s the crux of why this film is so great. Batman is brought back to his origins as a dark vigilante which Wayne himself struggles with. He needs Batman as a means to fight injustice, but he must also be incorruptible in his actions, lest the legend of Batman become perverted. Eventually, everyone begins to wonder which is the real personality, Bruce Wayne or Batman? Christian Bale is fantastic as Wayne, and with a supporting cast that includes Michael Cain, Liam Neeson, Gary Oldman, and Morgan Freeman, there was simply no way this film wouldn’t achieve Christopher Nolan’s vision. It spawned perhaps the greatest trilogy of superhero films ever made and provided the blueprint for how to properly start fresh in storytelling. After all, why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up. Well said, Alfred.

And that’s going to do it for our list of reboots. As the New Year begins, what new stories are you inspired to tell? Was this list helpful in your efforts? Did I miss any important ones? Feel free to let me know in the comments or reach out directly, especially if you have any ideas or requests for future entries. I’ve got an active running list of ideas, but I’m always open to more. I’d appreciate it if you’d leave a like and share this post on social media. And to stay up to date on future blog posts, you can sign up for my monthly newsletter on my website. Until the next story!

Greetings, intrepid readers! M. H. Barton here with another blog post on the art and craft of storytelling. Christmas is almost here, so I thought I’d write up an entry on one of the most lasting Christmas tales of them all – A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. It’s one of the most famous stories ever told and continues to endure even today as a true classic. The story has been retold over and over again across different mediums. As such, I thought I’d rank the ten best versions for you to seek out when you find yourself in need of an inspirational Christmas story. Of note, I won’t be including stage adaptations, as those should be considered their own category, but I will consider theatrical films, TV films, shorts, animation, and one little surprise we’ll get to later. I had originally planned to split this entry into two, one for the adaptations of A Christmas Carol and another for the actors playing Ebenezer Scrooge. However, a strong portrayal of Scrooge is so vital to any version of this story that the lists ended up exactly the same overall, so I’ve combined them. Of course, I’ll be looking at all aspects of these adaptations, from acting and faithfulness to the source material to music and effects. Anyway, I’ve rambled enough for now. Let’s get miserly!

Number Ten: A Christmas Carol (1938) starring Reginald Owen

In one of the first modern films depicting this story, Reginald Owen takes the lead as Ebenezer Scrooge. Best known as Admiral Boom in Mary Poppins, Owen puts his character acting chops to good use in turning Scrooge into a pompous blowhard. Though his portrayal seems a bit cartoony with as many serious adaptations as we’ve gotten since then, this version was the foundation on which nearly all future versions would be built. He’s the rock on which this adaptation stands. Sadly, the rest of this film is somewhat barebones, cutting out many thematic elements Dickens intended to be central to the story, landing it at only number ten on this list.

Number Nine: Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol (1962 Animated) starring Jim Backus

This animated Christmas special was the first adaption of A Christmas Carol specifically marketed for children. Though Backus’ Mr. Magoo is typically a kind (and blind) old man, the frame story of Magoo playing Scrooge in a play works well and would later be used by others in their own adaptations. While Magoo himself does well as a curmudgeonly Ebenezer Scrooge, this version suffers from it being a musical. I’ve never been a fan of musical versions of A Christmas Carol, largely because it destroys the pace. Dickens crafted a novella that’s an absolute masterclass in pacing a story, keeping things slow and foreboding one minute before moving the action right along to the next important scene. This is a perfectly paced story in all regards, and inserting songs every so often runs contrary to that. That said, this is a strong version nonetheless. Despite a few liberties taken with the source material and the order of events, it’s an excellent introduction to this classic story for kids.

Number Eight: Scrooged (1988) starring Bill Murray

So, this one is probably the most unique entry on this list, as it’s a modern reimagining of A Christmas Carol. Instead of Scrooge, Bill Murray plays Frank Cross, a slimy, ambitious TV executive who plans a live performance of A Christmas Carol on his station for Christmas Eve. This version is also one of the few comedic takes on the tale, though the laughs are appropriately dark, given the sheer callousness of Cross. This one isn’t my personal favorite, but it’s a version beloved by many, and I give it a lot of credit for successfully trying something new and different. The parallels between the pressures of modern Corporate America and Scrooge’s obsession with work and accumulating wealth are strikingly effective. While the humor may not be for everyone, this is a smart adaptation well worth a viewing. Sadly, I do fear that Murray’s Frank Cross is the Scrooge on this list most likely to revert to his old ways at some point, but that’s neither here nor there. Scrooged is a worthy reimagining of the Dickens classic.

Number Seven: The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) starring Michael Cain

If the dark humor of Scrooged isn’t your thing, what about the zaniness of Kermit and the Muppets? Jim Henson’s creations have a long history of doing their own versions of books and movies, but this one might be their most famous adaptation. There is a lot of good here in this version, namely in the faithfulness to the source material. Outside of the typical Muppet antics, the actual sequence of events is surprisingly on point. The Muppets are also perfectly cast, with Kermit and Miss Piggy as the Cratchits, Statler and Waldorf as Jacob (and Robert) Marley, and Gonzo narrating as Charles Dickens himself. This version does have two weaknesses, however. One, it’s a musical, which I’ve previously discussed my aversion to. But bigger than that is the one human actor – Michael Cain as Ebenezer Scrooge. Michael Cain is a transcendent actor, to be sure, but I just don’t find him a believable Scrooge. He’s too likable and not mean enough, even though he tries his best. Cain does an admirable job, but I’m always well aware that I’m watching Michael Cain playing Scrooge rather than being immersed in the story of Scrooge himself. All the same, this is an excellent version that was the first for many children of my generation. My first version was different, though. More on that later.

Number Six: A Christmas Carol (1938 Radio Drama) starring Orson Welles

Bet you weren’t expecting a radio drama, were you? The CBS Radio Network had a tradition of airing this iconic story from 1934 through 1953. While the performance was usually given by actor Lionel Barrymore, one of the only times he couldn’t was in 1938 when he fell ill. In response, CBS made the brilliant decision to enlist one of the most iconic baritone voices of all time – Orson Welles. I had no idea until a few weeks ago that this even existed, but listening to Welles read A Christmas Carol is simply incredible. The voice, the cadence, the emotion, it’s all perfect. Seriously, if you’re in the mood for a different experience with this story, give this one a listen. It’s well worth it.

Number Five: A Christmas Carol (2009 Animated) starring Jim Carrey

Disney took a big risk in making this CGI film version and an even bigger risk in casting Jim Carrey not only as Scrooge but also as the three Ghosts of Christmas. Yet crazy enough, Carrey has the range to not only make it work but make it something all his own in the process. The rest of the cast is very strong, as well, including Gary Oldman as both Bob Cratchit and Jacob Marley and Colin Firth as Fred. I’ll give Disney credit, they swung for the fences in casting and knocked it out of the park. The direction is also solid, as this is one of the most faithful adaptations of the story out there. So, why is it only number five? Simply put, the GCI and motion capture effects were too distracting for many audiences, resulting in animated characters that looked too uncanny to be believable. The graphics were revolutionary at the time, but it was the one area where, to quote Ian Malcolm, the studio kept asking if they could and didn’t bother to ask if they should. All the same, this adaptation succeeds on so many levels.

Number Four: A Christmas Carol (1999) starring Patrick Stewart

Based on Patrick Stewart’s popular one-man show A Christmas Carol, this adaptation was clearly crafted with faithfulness in mind. It’s easily the most faithful to the original novel of any version I’ve found. It's the only one to include a few rare scenes, such as the Ghost of Christmas Present’s whirlwind and the young couple indebted to Scrooge after his death. The tone and setting are also appropriately dark, making the London of this version one of the dreariest of all. It’s an excellent adaptation but is held back by one thing – Patrick Stewart. I know, it’s blasphemy, but hear me out! Stewart is an incredible actor with an unbelievable career. He’s iconic, and that’s the problem. He’s too iconic, particularly as a heroic actor. It’s hard to imagine a man known for his portrayals of morally incorruptible characters as Ebenezer Scrooge, no matter how strong his acting chops might be. Hell, I kept expecting Data to show up and end this Holodeck simulation or Storm to enter the Danger Room. Stewart plays Scrooge well, particularly in the beginning, where he’s a downright evil bastard, but I just wasn’t sold on him throughout. The finale also felt more awkward to me than triumphant, which left an odd taste in my mouth. Still, this version does so many things right, and I can definitely see why many think of this one as the best adaptation around.

Number Three: Mickey’s Christmas Carol (1983 Animated) starring Alan Young

Ah, so many good memories of this version. For me and many others of my generation, this was our introduction to A Christmas Carol. It’s the best kids’ version in my mind, using the right balance of softening some intense things while still communicating the ghost story tone of the original story. It’s also the shortest entry on this list, clocking in at a mere twenty-six minutes, but I don’t feel it’s harmed by the run time. Though some events are shortened or omitted, the level of faithfulness in this short special is quite remarkable. But best of all is the casting. Mickey is a wonderfully humble Bob Cratchit, and is there a more natural choice for Ebenezer than Scrooge McDuck himself? In fact, this outing served as Alan Young’s audition to be the permanent voice of Scrooge, which he was for over thirty years after this featurette. Though short, this gem is funny at the right moments, scary at others, and always charming and spirited. Not to mention that my two-year-old LOVED his first viewing of it last year!

Number Two: A Christmas Carol (1951) starring Alastair Sim

You probably knew this one would be somewhere near the top of the list. Considered by many to be the definitive adaptation, Alastair Sim’s career was largely made and defined by his emotional portrayal of Scrooge. Sim effortlessly glides around the range of Scrooge’s feelings, reacting to every event exactly as one would hope from the famous miser. More than almost any other entry on this list, this film is dark and grimy throughout, leaning hard into the tale as a creepy ghost story. The fact that it’s a black-and-white classic helps with this, and the movie’s tone is far different in the colorized versions. More than anything, this adaptation has one of the most satisfying redemption scenes in the series, something that is difficult to do well. A timeless classic if there ever was one.

Before our top pick, let’s do a few…

Honorable Mentions

A Christmas Carol (1971 Animated) starring Alastair Sim

This half-hour animated short was produced by legendary animator Chuck Jones and once again headlined by Sim. Though not as transcendent as Sim’s original outing as Scrooge, this is still a wonderfully faithful adaptation. It even won the 1972 Academy Award for Best Animated Short Film!

Ms. Scrooge (1997) starring Cecily Tyson

This film reimagining was created for USA Network and features a Black female lead named Ebenita Scrooge. It's an impressive modern twist that masterfully weaves racial tensions into the story, along with a healthy dose of religious imagery. Though not frequently aired, it's worth a watch for fans of A Christmas Carol.

Scrooge, or, Marley’s Ghost (1901) starring Daniel Smith

This silent film was the one that started it all, the first recorded film version of the Dickens classic. Though it’s only a little over six minutes long, it truly was the first brick to be laid back in the day. Moreover, it even managed some revolutionary special effects for its time, such as Marley’s face superimposed on the door knocker.

Finally, it’s time for…

Number One: A Christmas Carol (1984) starring George C. Scott

This is it, the ultimate Christmas movie, the one my wife and I always watch on Christmas Eve right before going to bed. While it takes a couple of liberties, all the major plot points are there, with some delicious additions to Scrooge’s past besides. With respect to Alastair Sim, George C. Scott truly is the ultimate Ebenezer Scrooge. He’s cold, callous, apathetic, and ruthless. This is one of the few adaptations to show Scrooge actually doing business in a scene where he bullies his customers into accepting his inflated price for corn. Scott’s Scrooge is truly masterful, not just in how he treats others, but in our understanding of why he does so. He looks at the world around him and thinks, “My God, this world is full of lazy, wasteful idiots! I must be the only sane man on Earth!” But beyond Scott, the ghosts in this version are spectacular. Jacob Marley’s literal jaw-dropping entrance always sticks with me, Past is equal parts sweet and sarcastic, and Present delights in luring Scrooge into traps with his own words in order to lecture him. And Yet to Come? Holy crap, this is easily the scariest version of the final ghost I’ve ever seen. Best of all is Scrooge’s interactions with the ghosts. In some versions, Scrooge clearly changes much earlier in the story, with the final ghost only cementing things, but not in this one. Scrooge is constantly bargaining and reasoning, trying to explain things away even to the ghosts themselves. They, in turn, antagonize him further, often appearing to enjoy the uncomfortable lessons Scrooge must learn. Where other versions’ ghosts are sometimes flat, boring apparitions, these ghosts are the perfect foils to Scrooge’s stubborn realism. All of these things combine into the most beautiful and satisfying redemption for any version of A Christmas Carol, in my humble opinion. If I had any complaint about this adaptation, it would be Tiny Tim’s awful makeup job, but other than that, this is the perfect rendition of the Dickens classic, and nobody will ever convince me otherwise.

And that’s going to do it for this ranking. As you can tell, A Christmas Carol is among my favorite holiday stories and one I love studying at any opportunity. Of course, this was merely my opinion. I’d like to know what you think. Any good versions I missed? Feel free to let me know in the comments or reach out directly, especially if you have any ideas or requests for future entries. I’ve got an active running list of ideas, but I’m always open to more. I’d appreciate it if you’d leave a like and share this post on social media. And to stay up to date on future blog posts, you can sign up for my monthly newsletter on my website. Until the next story!

Greetings, intrepid readers! M. H. Barton here with another blog post on the art and craft of storytelling. Today, I’ll be wading into controversial waters and analyzing the film Die Hard to determine if it really is a Christmas movie. This is a hotly debated topic with strong emotions on either side, but I want to try and do this as analytically as I possibly can. As such, I’ll be doing some arguing with myself, making the case both for and against it being a Christmas film before reaching my ultimate conclusion. Regardless, none of this is meant as a criticism of Die Hard as a film. It’s a transformational action movie that became the standard-bearer for the genre and also became one of the most often copied or parodied action films of all. I mean, how many other films are directly compared to this one? Speed? Die Hard on a bus. Air Force One? Die Hard on a plane. I could go on and on, but there is definitely no criticism here of Die Hard as one of the definitive action films of all time. I simply want to see if it’s actually a Christmas film or not. Anyway, with all that said, let’s get started!

The case for a Christmas movie

First, and most obviously, Die Hard takes place entirely on Christmas Eve. This is more than can be said for several other films considered Christmas movies. In particular, White Christmas comes to mind. The only Christmas-set scenes in the movie are the early scenes and the final scene, yet nobody questions that White Christmas is a Christmas classic. Honestly, maybe we should, but that’s a question for another time. As for Die Hard, there’s no denying it does have proper Christmas timing.

Of course, the setting isn’t everything. There’s also tone, and this is an area where Die Hard receives some criticism from detractors, saying that it’s too violent and vulgar to be a Christmas movie. While it was certainly different back in 1988 to have such a violent movie with a Christmas setting, I don’t view this as disqualifying. We’ve gone on to have other movies considered Christmas films that are violent as well. These range from more cartoony violence, such as Home Alone, to films with gratuitous sex and murder, such as Bad Santa. While violence certainly goes against the meaning of Christmas, it can certainly find a place in Christmas storytelling.

Music is another area we can look at for this argument. Going back to White Christmas, we can see that this film features a mere two Christmas songs in it. Die Hard doubles that with four Christmas songs featured throughout: “Winter Wonderland,” “Christmas in Hollis,” “Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!” and “Jingle Bells.” Once again, if one wishes to disqualify Die Hard based on music, one should be willing to do the same to White Christmas.

We should also consider the villain, Hans Gruber, portrayed masterfully by the late Alan Rickman. He’s an excellent antagonist by any measure, and his demeanor and actions throughout the story feel positively Grinch-like. He has literally zero regard for the loss of human life, shown by his attempts to calm the hostages only to plan to kill them all to cover their escape. He even seems rather callous towards his own men, only feeling emotion at losing the manpower they represent when they’re killed. With all this, plus Gruber’s constant snide remarks about Christmas miracles, he is certainly worthy of being regarded as a proper Christmas villain, helping the case for Die Hard as a Christmas movie even more.

In the end, amidst all the gunfire and explosions, the film’s story is one about a man and a woman learning how to be a family again. John McClain makes many mistakes, most born out of his compulsion to take control of any given situation. Holly, his wife (with a Christmassy name, to boot!), also seems to go out of her way to make things harder for John, clearly prioritizing her career over her family, as seen when she’s working late on Christmas Eve. Each is forced into a moment of letting go of their past sins and moving forward, John when he has to walk barefoot on glass and knows he’s likely too injured to survive the night, and Holly when she and John have to unclasp her promotion watch to send Gruber falling to his death. Holly ultimately takes up her married surname, McClain, once more in a beautiful conclusion to this story.

The case against a Christmas movie

While my other self makes a compelling argument for Die Hard being a Christmas film, there are several problems with the notion. Yes, the film takes place at Christmas, but so do many other films. One example is Iron Man 3, which isn’t described by anyone I know as a Christmas film. Also, neither film was released in theaters anywhere close to Christmas – Iron Man 3 in April and Die Hard in July. This seems to point to the idea that the makers of Die Hard never intended for it to be a Christmas film.

Music is another interesting point of contention. Yes, Die Hard features a number of Christmas songs, but most of them are played quietly in the background or briefly sung/hummed by one of the characters. The film’s score draws far more attention to the “Ode to Joy,” which features prominently as Hans Gruber’s theme. The song is iconic, appearing many times in the movie in many different ways, and is considered by many to be the theme song for Die Hard. This is the problem. The most likely song to stick in the audience’s head after the film ends isn’t even a Christmas song! Contrast this with another Christmas film, Home Alone. Not only are many Christmas songs featured, (and not as quiet background music) but the John Williams score is a masterclass in how to score a Christmas film. Many holiday songs, notably “Carol of the Bells,” are remixed and reworked into iconic themes that feel unique yet still in the Christmas spirit. Outside of a couple of major Christmas song moments, Die Hard falls flat in this regard.

The ultimate reason Die Hard falls short of being a Christmas movie is its story. Though Christmas settings and elements are present during the story, almost all of these are superfluous. We see random Christmas trees and Santa hats present during the fights and shootouts, but these things rarely play a major role in the story. The only exceptions are McClain’s first message to Gruber, done by dressing a dead thug in a Santa suit, and the way McClain hides his pistol during the final confrontation, taping it to his back with Christmas packing supplies. Still, even these elements, memorable as they are, aren’t required to be Christmassy.

In fact, if we were to strip away every reference to Christmas in the entire film, this would impact the story very little. The office Christmas party to get everyone in place for the terrorist attack? One of the workers mentioned it’s really a party for closing a major deal, so Christmas is irrelevant there. Gruber’s snide remarks about Christmas? Just a way to show his smartass personality with lines that are easily changed. Seriously, take away any mention of Christmas in Die Hard, and it’s literally the same exact movie. And yes, there is the heartwarming conclusion where John and Holly reconcile as a family, but that’s nothing exclusive about Christmas. In other movies with plots that are only tangentially related to Christmas, the holiday is still integral to the plot. Home Alone? The entire reason Kevin is “Alone” is that his family and everyone in his neighborhood are traveling for Christmas, leaving him the only one to defend against the Wet Bandits. Bad Santa? The entire point is a mall Santa using his job to the mall on Christmas Eve without raising suspicion. A Christmas movie doesn’t have to be about Christmas, but it does have to feature the holiday as an irreplaceable part of the story, which Die Hard really does not.

Conclusion

There’s no denying the natural divisions on this topic among fans. Hell, even the makers of the film don’t agree! Screenwriter Steven E. de Souza has declared that it is and was written to be a Christmas movie, but actor Bruce Willis has stated just as emphatically that it isn’t. It’s unbelievably difficult to make this determination, as I see the merits of both arguments, but I have to go with my gut. On my last watch of the film, I kept noticing the Christmas props in the film and thought, “Huh, that seems conveniently placed. Oh, there’s another one. But what does any of this have to do with Christmas?” If I’m questioning that much the relevance of Christmas in the plot, even after all these years, I think that makes the answer clear.

Final verdict: Die Hard is NOT a Christmas movie

And that’s going to do it for this controversial blog entry. Again, please don’t mistake my final verdict. I love Die Hard as a film. It modernized and redefined an entire storytelling genre! I just can’t come to see it as a Christmas movie. If you do, that’s cool. In fact, I’d love to hear from you and why you think it is or isn’t a Christmas movie. Feel free to let me know in the comments or reach out directly, especially if you have any ideas or requests for future entries. I’ve got an active running list of ideas, but I’m always open to more. I’d appreciate it if you’d leave a like and share this post on social media. And to stay up to date on future blog posts, you can sign up for my monthly newsletter on my website. Until the next story!

Greetings, intrepid readers! M. H. Barton here with another blog on the art and craft of storytelling. Here in America, it was Thanksgiving yesterday, so I thought we’d celebrate by talking about something every hero should be thankful for – a great sidekick. Often, sidekicks serve in an entertaining comedic role, keeping up the spirits of both the hero and the audience through the story’s highs and lows. But truly elite sidekicks do far more than that, as we will soon see. So, what qualities make an elite sidekick? There are a few, but the most important is loyalty. A top-notch sidekick will stick with their friend through anything, no matter how tough things get. They also need to be skilled – even if they aren’t as good as the hero, the sidekick has to contribute and carry their own weight. Finally, they have to believe in the hero, even if the hero loses their own faith along the way. Sidekicks often see heroes at their worst, and their most basic job is to be by their side to kick them into shape when this happens. Original, I know, but it’s true. I’ve tried to compile who I believe are the best sidekicks out there. I am trying to keep to one character per franchise, though you’ll have to forgive me for cheating once – you’ll understand when we get there. Anyway, let’s get started counting down the best of the best when it comes to ever-faithful wards!

Number Ten – The Genie of the Lamp (Aladdin, 1992)

Walt Disney Animation has given us a slew of memorable sidekicks over the years, but none can come anywhere close to Genie. Many sidekicks naturally serve as a comedic foil to the protagonist, and Genie is possibly the best example of this. Yet through all of his absurdist humor, Genie shows incredible wisdom, desiring his own freedom and reminding Aladdin that he can only win Jasmine’s heart by being himself. Even when he is forced to change sides and help the evil sorcerer Jafar, you can see the pain in his eyes at being used like a tool. Though the initial motivation of the story revolves around Aladdin and Jasmine falling in love, the true emotional weight of the climax lies in Genie losing his chance at freedom for good. Yet he remains Aladdin’s friend through it all, making it all the more satisfying when he’s at last rewarded with his freedom.

Best moment: Probably Genie’s best moment as a sidekick comes with Aladdin’s second wish. Jafar has ambushed Aladdin and tossed him into the sea to drown, though an inadvertent rub of the lamp brings Genie into the fray. He wants nothing more than to help his friend and Master, but he can’t unless Aladdin makes a wish to save his life. With a random nod of Aladdin’s head, Genie bends the rules and takes that as permission to grant said wish.

Number Nine – Spock (Star Trek, 1966)

Not every sidekick needs to be a comedic foil, as seen in the iconic TV series, Star Trek. To balance out James T. Kirk’s cavalier swashbuckler, we need his resolute, logical, and unemotional first officer, Spock. Of course, these characteristics aren’t absolute, which is what makes Spock such a compelling character in addition to a great sidekick. He is, after all, half human and half Vulcan, forcing him to wrestle with the emotional side he constantly tries to suppress. Yet in his quiet moments, he always refers to Kirk as his friend. Though Spock is renowned for using his wits to find clever solutions to complicated problems, he can get his hands dirty when needed. His Vulcan nerve pinch is legendary, as is his ability to mind meld with others for information. So, we have a loyal sidekick that complements the protagonist both in personality and in skillset, but what about being self-sacrificing? Need you ask?

Best moment: Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan provides not only Spock’s most iconic moment but one of the most iconic moments in all of science fiction. After their epic space battle with Khan, the Enterprise is unable to escape the ensuing explosion due to their damaged warp drive. Sealing himself inside the irradiated engine room, Spock repairs the warp drive in time for the ship to escape. He dies a heartbreaking death with his best friend, James Kirk, bearing witness to his final moments.

Number Eight – Nick “Goose” Bradshaw (Top Gun, 1986)

At first glance, Goose is less of a complementary sidekick and more of an enabler. After all, Maverick and Goose are both typical flyboys, running on instinct and adrenaline for the most part. But where Maverick is naturally a daredevil and a risk-taker, as shown when he risks his life to help Cougar land safely in the opening scene, Goose retains a subtle influence as Maverick’s conscience. After all, Goose is the one with a wife and son, a stark contrast to Maverick’s lone wolf act. This, of course, makes Goose’s death all the more tragic, shattering his family and breaking Maverick’s confidence. But once Maverick regains his confidence in the final dogfight, he also regains Goose’s influence as his conscience, even after the latter’s death. Talk to me, Goose.

Best moment: While Goose’s death is easily his most memorable moment, his best moment as Maverick’s sidekick comes earlier in the film. After an embarrassing failure during a training exercise, Maverick is reprimanded for breaking the hard deck and performing an unsanctioned flyby. While Maverick’s natural instinct is to blow this off with all the anger of youth, Goose comes to him in a quiet moment and admits his own fear that they won’t even graduate from Top Gun, let alone be the best. Maverick still has lots of growing to do from here, but this is the beginning of his maturation, and it’s all thanks to Goose.

Number Seven – Dr. John Watson (Sherlock Holmes, multiple)

Being the sidekick to one of the most enduring characters in all of storytelling all but guaranteed a spot on this list for Watson. Though intelligent and an accomplished doctor in his own right, Watson often functions as a sounding board for the sheer brilliance of Holmes’ deduction. This actually ends up being a fantastic method of storytelling, as Watson is the first-person narrator of the stories. The end result of this is the reader feeling as if they are the sidekick. After all, many of Watson’s interruptions and questions are reasonable thoughts for the reader to have. Watson ends up not only being an excellent sidekick but also a perfect conduit for immersion into the story.

Best moment: Watson has been portrayed in many different ways over the years. In some versions, he’s just as he appears in the books, other versions show him more as a well-meaning bumbler, and still others have him as nearly a match for Holmes himself. My favorite moment is in the 2011 film Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. The film is a reimagining of The Final Problem, pitting Holmes against Moriarty. Still, it is Watson who uses everything he’s learned from Holmes to catch Moriatry’s spy and stop an assassination attempt just in time. Many actors have played Watson, but Jude Law is certainly one of the best.

Number Six – Sancho Panza (Don Quixote, 1605)

Easily the oldest work on this list, Miguel de Cervantes crafted the original sidekick in Sancho Panza. While the protagonist, Don Quixote, was an idealistic and delusional knight, Sancho remained by his side as a faithful and loyal squire, albeit one who never passed up the chance to spout his common wisdom and proverbs. Through all their troubles and misadventures, Sancho remains calm and good-natured, always working to temper the unrestrained bravado of his liege and get him out of the problems he creates. Yet for all the subtle influence Sancho exerts on Don Quixote, it also works the other way. As Don Quixote lies on his deathbed and suddenly regains his sanity, Sancho picks that moment to succumb to delusion and suggests they become pastoral shepherds. A fitting end to a satirical epic, indeed.

Best moment: At one point in their travels, a duke offers Sancho the chance to leave Don Quixote and govern a kingdom himself. Though Sancho is understandably hesitant to leave his friend, Don Quixote speaks with him at length and eventually comes to the conclusion that Sancho would be a good leader. Saying his goodbyes, Sancho takes charge and governs with surprising effectiveness, even in the face of pranks from the duke’s men. Still, he comes to miss his journeys and eventually resigns to rejoin Don Quixote’s adventure.

Number Five – Short Round (Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, 1984)

Young children as sidekicks are frequently more annoying than they are helpful, but Short Round is a rare exception. From the outset, it’s shown that he and Indy have a strong relationship, as Indy trusted Shorty to be his getaway driver as he escapes from Lao Che’s men. As they, along with Willie, are entangled in a further adventure involving the Sankara Stones, this bond is showcased further, particularly with both Indy and Shorty cheating at cards around the campfire. Best of all, Shorty can hold his own in hand-to-hand combat once things get dicey, consistently fighting off Thuggee guards with Indy throughout the film. Even though Shorty does make the occasional misstep, causing more trouble for Indy, he always comes through when it matters most. While Temple of Doom is considered by some to be the odd one out in the original Indiana Jones trilogy, the pairing of Indy and Shorty is easily the best part of the film and one of the biggest reasons why it works so well.

Best moment: At the midpoint of the story, Indy, Shorty, and Willie have all been captured by the Thuggee cult. Their leader, Mola Ram, manages to brainwash Indy and prepares Willie as a human sacrifice. Shorty, however, is quickly discarded and sent to work in the mines, which is a massive mistake by Mola Ram. In a display of pure heart and guts, Shorty manages to break out of his shackles, confront Indy, and bring him back to his senses by burning him with a torch. The rip-roaring finale features several great scenes involving Shorty, but none can come close to this emotional moment with his father figure and best friend, Indiana Jones.

Number Four – Hermione Granger (Harry Potter, 1997-2007)

Ron Weasley might be Harry Potter’s best friend, but he isn’t the best sidekick for the Boy Who Lived. That honor goes to the brightest witch of her age, Hermione Jean Granger. Simply put, Harry and Ron would probably have been killed several times over if not for Hermione’s brilliance. She’s possibly the ultimate complementary sidekick, specializing in things her friends aren’t good at. While she has to learn to be more like Harry and Ron in combat over the course of the series, her incredible skills with all manner of spells, combined with her top-notch memory, make her the MVP of so many fixes for the Golden Trio. Best of all, we can see the influence these characters have on each other. Despite their personality differences, Harry eventually learns to be more cautious from Hermione, Ron begins to take his studies more seriously, and Hermione develops serious nerve and resolve as she grows. Speaking of which…

Best moment: Hermione’s had a lot of great moments, such as saving Ron from Devil’s Snare, learning about the Basilisk, and punching Draco Malfoy in the nose. Still, the gutsiest thing she’s ever done came in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Using Polyjuice Potion to impersonate Bellatrix Lestrange and sneak into the Lestrange vault at Gringotts isn’t just bold, it’s borderline insane. Not only is she going into enemy territory as a wanted Muggle-born, but she has to act like one of the most sadistic witches in the world, contrary to her kind nature. Thanks to Ron and Harry’s improvisational skills, they manage to pull the ruse off, bringing another of Voldemort’s Horcruxes into their possession. No wonder she eventually became Minister of Magic!

Number Three – Chewbacca and R2D2 (Star Wars, 1977)

This is it, the one entry where I had to declare a tie. These two are both among the most awesome sidekicks of them all, for different reasons. First, you’d be hard-pressed to find a more loyal and loveable friend than Chewbacca. Whether with Han, Lando, or Rey, he’s the best copilot in the galaxy, hands down. Once you’ve earned his loyalty, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for you, including ripping the arms of your enemies from their sockets! As for R2, this little astromech droid has more cajones than anyone else in the Star Wars universe. He’s braved the Dune Sea, helped General Skywalker in the Clone War, and flew with Luke on his fateful run down the Death Star trench. R2D2 is the ultimate ride-or-die companion, and if he had the capability, he’d probably be trying to kill Stormtroopers with a blaster of his own!

Best moments: Both characters' best moments happen in Return of the Jedi. For Chewie, allowing himself to be captured by Jabba the Hutt as part of Luke’s plan to rescue Han Solo is incredibly brave, and it put Chewie in position to help secure their final escape over the Great Pit of Carkoon. For R2, he’s no stranger to wading through a warzone to hack some computer or equipment on the other side of the area. Though he’s done this several times over the series, his willingness to put himself in harm’s way is probably most memorable during the Battle of Endor. Sadly, he is blasted and disabled before completing the job, but his sheer gutsiness in moving through the mess of Stormtroopers to get there is reason enough for this to be his best moment.

Number Two – Dick Grayson (Batman, 1940-present)

As the original Robin, the Boy Wonder, Dick Grayson has decades of experience as Batman’s sidekick across multiple mediums. Possibly no hero and sidekick combo is more iconic than this one, as they are frequently referred to as the Dynamic Duo. Ever since the tragic death of Grayson’s parents during their trapeze act, Bruce Wayne has acted as his mentor and father figure. Grayson eventually joined Wayne’s crimefighting efforts, using his acrobatic skills to great effect. Thanks to Wayne, he also sharpened his sleuthing skills, eventually making him much more of a true partner in their relationship. Of course, Grayson has gone on to have a remarkable career as a solo hero, Nightwing, but he’ll always be remembered as the first Robin.

Best moment: Grayson has had a lot of memorable adventures, both with Wayne and by himself, but my favorite moment is his founding of the modern Teen Titans. As an angsty teenager on the cusp of adulthood, Grayson abandons Wayne to strike out on his own. What does he do first? Befriend a group of misfit orphans and form a surrogate family with them, just like Wayne did with him. Like father, like son.

Before the top pick, let’s do a few…

Honorable Mentions

Ed Norton (The Honeymooners, 1955)

Though Norton can come across as nothing more than the dumber, funnier friend of Ralph Kramden, this belies the surprisingly intelligent and worldly personality hiding underneath. He’s a perfect good-natured foil to Ralph’s temper, and was the inspiration for both Barney Rubble and Yogi Bear, to boot!

Barney Fife (The Andy Griffith Show, 1960)

Oh, Deputy Fife. Far from the most effective sidekick, but easily one of the most memorable. His faults are many, such as harassing Mayberry’s citizens for minor offenses or accidentally shooting himself in the foot on occasion, but he really does try his best. Barney’s uptight nature blends well with the laidback Andy Taylor.

Donkey (Shrek, 2001-2010)

Eddie Murphy has played and voiced a plethora of memorable sidekicks over the years, but Donkey is possibly his most famous role of all. Though not overly brave, Donkey is extremely loyal to Shrek, refusing to leave his side even when the ogre gets annoyed at Donkey’s antics. Plus, he eventually becomes a loving father in his own right!

And with that, it’s time for…

Number One – Samwise Gamgee (The Lord of the Rings, 1954-1955)

Could it have been anyone else? Sam isn’t just the greatest sidekick of them all, he’s the true unsung hero of The Lord of the Rings. Without his incredible companionship, there is little chance Frodo would have made it all the way to Mount Doom himself. I mean, Sam just has everything. Loyal? To a fault. Brave? Every step he takes on this journey is a courageous one. Skilled? He faces foes much stronger and deadlier than him and comes out on top on more than one occasion. But beyond these qualities, Sam is the greatest sidekick of all because of one thing – he’s inspirational. Frodo goes through hell on his journey, both physically and emotionally. After carrying the One Ring and resisting its corrupting influence for so long, he begins to doubt his strength to keep going. Sam is the one who lifts him up and reminds him what they’re fighting for, what they’re fighting to preserve. Sam was Frodo’s guiding light through Middle Earth, as well as a guiding light of inspiration for so many readers the world over. Best of all, Sam is actually rewarded with his happy ending at the end of the story, returning to the shire to start a family with Rosie. Well done, Samwise. You’ve earned it.

Best moment: Wow, too many to pick from. His speech in The Two Towers, carrying Frodo up the slopes of Mount Doom on his back, and constantly trying to protect Frodo from Gollum come to mind. Still, Sam’s finest hour comes when he faces the dreaded spider Shelob in combat, saving Frodo’s life. Moreover, Sam manages to wound Shelob in the process, a feat nobody else on Middle Earth has accomplished. Facing certain death, this was the moment Sam risked it all and proved his mettle.

And that’s going to do it for this ranking. Of course, I want to hear from you. Which sidekicks are you thankful for? Who else should’ve made the list? Feel free to let me know in the comments or reach out directly, especially if you have any ideas or requests for future entries. I’ve got an active running list of ideas, but I’m always open to more. I’d appreciate it if you’d leave a like and share this post on social media. And to stay up to date on future blog posts, you can sign up for my monthly newsletter on my website. Until the next story!